


Hardened Criminal

by Orithain



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys in Chains, Hard Time, M/M, Prison, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 99,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3674550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Krycek is sent to prison where he meets a prison warder called Fox Mulder.<br/>Warnings:This is set in a prison and contains violence, sex and hard time. You have been duly warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hardened Criminal

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with Nicole S. Originally posted as six separate stories April 1999 to March 2000.
> 
> Chapter 6 new to AO3 as of November 2015.
> 
> Note from Dusk, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Boys in Chains](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Boys_in_Chains), which opened in 2000 as a multifandom archive for both fiction and art, but then sadly went offline in 2005. To bring the archive back, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2014.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hard time for Alex, who finds himself in the pen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 1999.

The metal bars of the jail cell slammed shut in front of Alex Krycek's face with a loud thud and clang. His tongue flicked to the cut he recently received on his lip during his orientation this afternoon. It had included a shower, a medical exam, fingerprints and a full, thorough strip search, and although Alex had had them before, he resisted. A few solid punches later by the guards and he was bent over with someone's latex-covered digit up his ass.

He stood there for a second in his new home, holding his blanket, pillow, sheet, toilet paper and other limited supplies he had been given. He put his bunk together then started putting his other things away. It didn't take long.

He looked down at the lower bunk where his cellmate was lying. The guard told him his name was Tom, but he looked more like a slug than a human being. He had gotten here two years ago, serving fifteen years for dealing. This person was a quivering mass of agony and pain, his body wracked by coughs and muscle spasms. They had had a shakedown just before he was going to fix today, and they took his heroin. Without his fix, Tom was in full withdrawal, and Alex sensed a long night of coughing and vomiting lay ahead of them. Usually, when they found drugs, they threw the prisoner in the hole, but Alex guessed they thought a junkie going through withdrawal and a fish would be an interesting combination. Tom was curled up on his bare mattress, in the fetal position, head hanging over the side. A small stream of saliva and puke ran from his lips to pool on the floor. Alex smirked to himself. _This guy isn't going to be any trouble, but if he keeps me up all night, I'll beat his fucking head in._

Alex finished putting his meager possessions away and stood at the bars to his cell, looking down the length of A block. A shudder ran through him as he realized that this wasn't some pussy joint like holding, this was hard time in a Federal Maximum Security Prison. He nearly panicked but caught himself; any sign of weakness and some rustler would be on his ass in a flash. His eyes flicked to the cell directly across from his for a brief second, not wanting to make eye contact.

"What the fuck you lookin' at, fish?"

Alex didn't say anything; instead he lowered his eyes and head submissively.

"Dontchu look over here, fish, I got my eye on you."

Alex stood at his bars, eyes to the floor, with his arms folded across his chest. He was giving the guy a way to win but showed him that he wasn't letting his guard down.

When he was in holding, he had started fights with the smaller guys, trying to prove his power. He was so angry that he was incarcerated, so furious at himself for being stupid enough to get himself into this mess, that he took out his rage on anyone who looked at him the wrong way. He kept that up until that gang-banger came in and kicked his ass so bad he was in the infirmary for ten days. They even had to reschedule his court date due to his injuries.

After that, Alex had learned his lesson, getting into fights only when he absolutely had to, to defend himself. Here he'd have to keep his nose clean; you piss one guy off and his whole posse would be on your ass. He didn't know how we was going to survive in here alone, but there was no way in hell that he was going to become some guy's bitch just for protection. He'd rather die, and he knew that it might just come to that.

Alex got on his bunk and stared at the ceiling. The bunk moved with the junkie's spasms, shaking both men. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but couldn't. As he had done almost every night for six months, all he could think about was what got him here.

"It's your round, Luke." Alex slammed his now empty beer bottle on the table before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Slow down, Alex, we've got all night."

"Which is all the reason to drink more!'

"Yeah, Don, Alex is going to be an FBI agent this time next month, we have to celebrate."

"Yeah, by this time next month, I'll be putting the bad guys in jail!"

Alex beamed at his high-school buddies and gave them both a high-five. Luke and Don had driven up here to surprise him before he graduated from Quantico. He missed this, being with his buddies out getting drunk. For the past four years, he had been hitting the books and getting top marks so he could be a g-man, something he had always wanted.

Another round was brought to their table, then another, and still another, the three men getting drunker and drunker. Finally, they were cut off by the bartender, almost ending up in a fistfight.

"Yer an asshole, you know that?" Don screamed at the bartender as the other two led him away.

"'S'no big deal, I know a better bar down the street," Alex slurred. "C'mon, let's go."

"Fuckin' moron," Don grumbled as he followed Alex and Luke.

They had walked about a block down the street when they were stopped by Luke. "You see that?"

"What?"

"You see that? Those two guys kissing up there."

"Where?"

"In that doorway."

"Fuckin' fags."

"Yeah, fuckin' fags."

The three men stalked the two in the doorway, unnoticed. One of the men went inside the building, and the other, a blonde, turned to walk away. Alex and his friends caught up to them.

"Hey!"

The man stopped and looked at the three drunken men, his mouth broadening into a nervous smile. "Hey."

The three men remained silent.

"Can I help you?" the blonde asked. "Do you need directions or something?"

"Yeah, we need help all right," Luke slurred. "Help keeping faggots like you away from decent people."

The blonde suddenly realized that he might be in trouble and started to back away, but he was too late. Dan punched him in the gut, and as he folded over, Alex landed a blow on his chin. The blonde gasped loudly as he dropped to the ground, passing out instantly.

"Fuckn' fag," Luke slurred. "Lookit that, he just dropped like a ton of bricks." Luke slapped his hands together loudly, to emphasize his point. He kicked the blonde on the ground in the ribs. "C'mon, a real man would fight me. Get up and defend yourself."

Alex and Dan were laughing at the man lying motionless on the street, so drunk they didn't notice the flashing lights of the cop car that had approached them.

That was six months ago. The blonde, Jamie Ryder, was a 32-year-old man who had just walked his partner, Michael, home from the movies. Jamie Ryder was now dead. Either a strange coincidence or bad luck, probably the shock of the assault, made Jamie have a heart attack with the first blow.

When Alex and his friends were arrested, it was for simple assault at first, but then the officer tried to take Ryder's pulse as they waited for the ambulance to arrive and found out he was dead.

"You know what, boys?" the policeman yelled through the window of the cruiser at Alex and Don, making sure that Luke, in the other police car, could also hear. "It's your lucky day, fellas, you just got upgraded to murder one. This guy's dead."

In court, Alex swore, truthfully, he didn't remember anything that happened after the bar. The charges had been downgraded to manslaughter due to the heart condition Jamie had, but it still meant hard time.

All three men were convicted and sentenced to the maximum term. His buddies got to go to the lower security State prison. The judge gave Alex an extra five years to be served in Federal Prison due to the fact that he was just shy of being a law enforcement officer. The judge said that Alex needed more _thinking time_ than the others.

Alex had had plenty of time to think all right, plenty of time to think of Jamie Ryder. He thought of what he had done to that man just because he was gay. He still didn't like gays, but somehow that feeling was now muted. Ryder had been an engineer; he had a family, friends, people who loved him. He volunteered time to community groups. He had a dog. And now, because of Alex and his friends, he was dead. Alex had seen the anger and pain in the eyes of Ryder's mother and father and his sister. He'd seen that and pure hatred in the eyes of his lover; he dreamed of those eyes every night.

He also had time to think about how he had fucked up his life and his career with one stupid act. He was top of his class at Quantico; he would have graduated with honors. He was going to go straight from graduation into a special unit so secret that no one knew about it but he and his supervisor. But that was all gone now. Now he was just a number among a sea of numbers, a criminal, and nothing he did mattered to anyone.

The lights were turned off, and Alex was left in the dark with his thoughts and Tom spewing his guts out in the stainless steel commode. He sighed and rolled over on his side, wishing he hadn't done what he had done, and wishing he was somewhere else.

Fox Mulder walked his beat through the kitchen and dining hall, his hand on his belt, senses alert for any activity. Guards on the floor were weaponless, but the hand on the belt made it look like he had something to reckon with.

He had been here three years as a corrections officer in D Block, Leavenworth and Joliet before that. He knew the ropes better than any of the other COs in this place; that's why he got moved up to the kitchen. Two guards were caught stealing supplies and selling them, leaving two spaces for him and another guard to move into.

Mulder took his place along the wall of the dining hall and watched the inmates file in to get their breakfast, watching to make sure that no trouble started in line. As with other prisons, senior officers, including the warden, were available to talk to during meal breaks. This was so the prisoners could air their beefs out in the open and not be looked upon as snitches.

He looked at them, one by one, grabbing their trays, cutlery, then food as they methodically took their places at the tables. As in all other institutions, the prisoners segregated themselves. Blacks sat with blacks, whites with whites, latinos with latinos. The Aryan Brotherhood sat together, the wiseguys all sat together...it was all a part of prison life, fitting in with a group; there was safety in numbers.

One by one they got their meals and sat with their little groups and chatted, making deals, carrying on with their criminal activities, even on the inside. Mulder's eyes narrowed as he saw who he had been looking for - Alex Krycek.

Alex Krycek was scum of the earth as far as Fox Mulder was concerned. When Alex had killed Jamie Ryder, he also killed Fox Mulder's best friend's lover.

When Mulder had seen Alex's name on the list of new inmates, he knew this was his time to get revenge for Jamie's death. He had crafted a plan, and now he just had to do one more thing before it was put in place.

Alex was scared but fought hard not to let it show on the outside. He followed the other inmates to the dining hall and through the line at breakfast, taking his food and carrying his tray to the tables. He didn't know where to sit or what to do. Everyone knew he was a fish, and Alex knew he shouldn't look vulnerable. He thought back to his criminology classes at Quantico; they taught him the psychology of criminals, the activity of criminals, but never how to _be_ a criminal. He picked a table almost empty of people and sat at the end. Maybe if he sat by himself, everyone would leave me alone.

He had just sat down when he heard a voice, "Krycek, isn't it?"

Alex looked up into the face of a man who appeared to be in his sixties but was probably younger. An obviously hard life had etched deep wrinkles into his face. He smelled of cigarettes, even across the table.

"What's it to you?"

"May I?" The man motioned to the seat opposite of him.

"I don't care." Alex dug into his food, ignoring the man across from him.

"You know, Krycek...or may I call you Alex?" Alex shrugged and continued to look at his food.

"Alex, your first time in prison can be a scary one. I can offer you protection."

"I don't need protecting."

"Oh, but I think you do." The man paused to light a cigarette. "Do you remember your altercation last night when you first got here?"

"I didn't _altercate_ with anyone."

"The gentleman whose cell is across from yours seems to think so. He doesn't like people looking at him. That's why the bunk in your new home was vacant." The man took a drag on his cigarette. "You see, the former occupant of your home used to look over at this gentleman quite regularly. He didn't like it and let that fact be known. He has just gotten out of a two month stint in the hole, and he's still angry. Unfortunately, Alex, your house assignment coincided with his untimely return. Now he wants to do the same to you. He is clearly insane, but no one here cares."

Alex felt sick to his stomach; he had been here just shy of twelve hours, and already he had a death threat. "So, what's it to you?"

"As I said, I can offer you protection." The man took a long drag on his cigarette. "For a price."

"I don't suck cock"

"Did I imply any such thing?"

"Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm not going to be your fuck-toy. You can find yourself another slave."

"I don't need a _fuck-toy_ , Alex. I need someone to run errands for me from time to time. To deliver messages, if you will."

Alex looked at his food and moved it around on his tray. He knew he needed protection in here; he couldn't be out there in general population alone with no one to back him up. Then again, he didn't want to suck anyone's dick or be their slave. And even if he had been willing to, this guy sure wouldn't be his choice.

The bell rang, indicating breakfast was over. The man got to his feet. "Think about it, Alex, I'll be waiting."

Alex didn't say anything. He instead got to his feet and shuffled out of the dining hall and back to his cell. When he got back to his house, he saw the man who lived across from him waiting outside his door.

"Hey, fish."

Alex ignored him and tried to get inside his house, but the man blocked his path.

"I'm talking to you, fish."

Alex kept his gaze downward as he stood before the man.

"You had no right to scope me out last night, fish. You had no right to fucking look at me. You some fucking fag or something?"

Alex tried to keep calm, but his temper got the better of him, he looked the other man in the eye. "I'm not a fag."

"Yeah, then why were you scoping me out?"

"I wasn't looking at you." Alex's voice was low, his eyes narrowed.

"Bullshit." The man pushed him backwards. "You want my ass, fag? You want me? 'Cause you can't have me. I'll be fucking your ass before you get to me." He pushed Alex again, the rage making his face red.

Suddenly the man struck Alex on the cheek, making Alex's teeth shake to their roots. Alex struck back, getting the man in the belly before punching up under his chin. The man was no match for Alex, who had extensive training in self-defense. Soon, the other man was lying on the floor, unconscious, bleeding from his mouth. He didn't notice the flurry of activity around him until the guards wrestled him to the ground. The guards soon had him cuffed and in their possession, dragging him up to the Lieutenant's office to see what fate beheld him. They knocked on the door.

"Enter."

The two guards shoved Alex through the door and forced him into a chair in front of a large desk covered in neat stacks of files. The man sitting behind the desk was a large, bald man with glasses. The plaque on the front of the desk said "Walter Skinner." The man finished what he was doing before looking up at Alex, his face expressionless.

"Who do we have here?"

"Alex Krycek, sir, prisoner number 85312961. He was caught fighting with Fitzpatrick."

"Krycek, huh?" Skinner rummaged through the files on his desk until he found the one he was looking for. He opened it, looked it over then looked up at the prisoner before him. "You've only been here one day, boy."

Alex remained silent.

"One day and you're beating on a member of the Irish Clan? Are you retarded or just stupid?"

Alex remained expressionless, but his insides were quivering, and he felt as if he was going to throw up. He had no idea that guy was part of a gang; he would have left him alone if he did.

"Quantico, top of your class." Skinner shook his head, "You're a smart guy, Krycek, how'd you end up in here?" Skinner said as much to himself as to Alex. "Beating up people...manslaughter...trouble in holding."

Skinner looked up at Alex, crossed his arms in front of his chest and sat back. "I'm putting you in the hole for a week. I was going to make it three days, but the Irish need to calm down, or they're going to kill you. I also want you to enroll in an anger management course, something you should have done a long time ago."

Skinner signed something with a flourish then nodded to the guards. Alex was dragged out of the office, through a door, and down a flight of stairs to the hole. The hole was a block of solitary cells, where the lights were never turned off. You were provided with a bucket for feces and urine, and that was all. The guards pushed Alex into his cell, where he landed with a groan on the floor. He sat down in the cleanest corner in the room, the one farthest away from the door with the small window in it, put his face in his hands, and started sobbing.

Fox Mulder smirked to himself when he found out Alex Krycek was in the hole already, for kicking one of the Irish' ass no less. _He's either stupid or has a death wish,_ he thought to himself. He held the new roster for the kitchen staff in his hand; Alex Krycek's name was on it. It was no small feat getting him on that list; inmates were rewarded with jobs in the kitchen, and Krycek had just gotten here. It paid the best and held the highest prestige. Mulder knew Krycek would probably get into a few scraps before his first week was out with people on the waiting list, but he didn't care. Actually, beating on one of the Irish Clan worked in Alex's favour to get along with the others. The Italians, who ran the kitchen, hated the Irish, and this would reflect well on Alex.

Krycek and three others would start in the kitchen a week after Krycek got out of the hole. Unfortunately, Tagerelli, who ran the place, didn't like it.

"What the fuck you shaking things up for?"

"You keep bitching about being under staffed, and now when I give you some more people, you're complaining."

"They ain't Italian, Mulder."

"So what? You don't have a choice in the matter, Tagarelli; everyone gets rotated sooner or later."

"I run this fucking kitchen."

"And I run this fucking joint. The new guys are coming, whether you like it or not." Mulder walked away from the Italian, grateful he didn't have a wife or family that could be hurt on the outside.

A week passed and Alex was let out of the hole. At the beginning he was scared, then he was mad, now he was just tired. He had hardly slept the whole time, with the lights on and no mattress. Finally, they let him out of there so he could go back to his own House. He detoured to the showers then returned to his cell, where he was met by the old man again.

"How did you enjoy your time in the hole, Alex? Did you think about my offer?"

"Fuck you."

"You know, Alex, the Irish Clan have been talking about you. They are quite angry that you hurt one of their people. There is a bounty on your head." The man bent his head and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag before speaking again. "With my protection, they will leave you alone."

"Look, I told you, I don't want to be your bitch; look for some other guy to suck your cock."

"And I told you, Alex, I don't want sexual favours. I need someone to perform certain duties for me. Duties that your training and background will suit most favourably."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You were training to be an FBI agent, Alex. I could use your expertise on a few jobs."

Alex sighed and leaned against the wall. He did need some sort of ally in here.

"What kind of jobs?"

"Little things. When the time comes, I'll let you know."

 _Fuck!_ "I don't have to suck your, or anyone else's, cock?"

"I assure you, that is not part of the plan."

"I'm not doing your fucking laundry or cleaning up after you."

"Again, Alex, that's not why I require your presence."

Alex muttered under his breath for a minute, "All right."

"I'm glad, Alex." He held out his hand, "My name is Spender. CGB Spender. Everyone calls me the Smoking Man."

Alex tried to keep calm as he shook the man's hand. He knew he should have paid more attention to the man's face and tried to think of who he could be. He never expected the Smoking Man though.

The Smoking Man was a notorious serial killer, who had killed people for sport. He would kidnap young men and women, make them run through the forest at night and hunt them with a bow and arrow. When the FBI found the bodies, they had cigarette butts creatively stowed in their bodies, hence the term "Smoking Man". He had killed 32 people by the time they arrested him twenty years ago. He was serving 32 life sentences; he would never leave this place while he was still breathing. The pictures Alex had been shown of him at Quantico were grainy and from the '70s. His hair was longer, and he had looked younger, a lot younger than he did now.

Alex took the man's hand and shook it.

"Very good, Alex. Now, put a request in with Lieutenant Skinner and have yourself transferred to my cell."

Alex put in the request, but before it was approved, he had to have another meeting with Skinner. Skinner thought Spender was trying to put the moves on Krycek, but Krycek was determined to move, and all Skinner could do was to warn him about people preying on fish. With the warning, he let Alex relocate his things.

The Irish Clan were going to move on Alex that evening, but when they saw him move his things into Spender's cell, they backed off. Unknown to Alex, a few years ago Spender had done the same thing. He had found a young man, willing to run his errands, and one of the Latino gangs beat him up. The next day, one of the gang members went missing. They found him weeks later, dismembered and stuffed in garbage bags. No one fucked with Spender or his errand boy.

It was that night that Alex got the word that he was to be working in the kitchen. He reported for duty a week later to Tagarelli at 4:00 a.m.

"I don't want no fucking shit from any of you. You fuck with me and I'll fuck you right back, you all got that?" Tagerelli stalked in front of his new _employees_ , barking out his rules. "No stealing, no spitting, no bullshit. You do your job and you keep the fuck outta my way. Got that?"

No one made a sound.

"Good. Now you're all on dish detail until I say otherwise. No moaning or fucking groaning, or your ass is outta here, and someone else can take your place."

The men got to work, washing dishes, stacking trays, and preparing for the morning meal. Alex did what he was told and kept his mouth shut. He was grateful to be working here and to have something to do all day rather than sit around breathing in second hand smoke from his new _friend_.

Spender was creepy. He talked creepy, he acted creepy, he looked creepy. Alex didn't like him or trust him. So far, his errands had consisted of going down to the commissary to buy the old guy cigarettes and hard candy. It was a wonder he had any teeth left in his mouth the rate he chewed that shit and smoked.

The first wave of people came in for breakfast, Alex was kept busy getting the trays clean and back in rotation as soon as possible. He was so busy he didn't notice the guard wandering through the area.

"Everything okay, Tagarelli, your new people working out?"

"Yeah, they're working out."

"Good."

Mulder took another walk through the kitchen, looking his target up and down before leaving to supervise the inmates eating.

Alex was tired. He had never worked so hard in his life. Quantico was a breeze compared to this place. He had never had to do manual labour before, and his back and arms ached from lifting the heavy baskets of trays out of the dishwasher. His feet were killing him from standing all day. Thanks to his parents' money, he had never even had to do this kind of job in highschool, for godsakes. He wearily walked back to his home, where the old man was waiting for him.

"Enjoy your first day, Alex?"

"I guess so. It's hard work."

"Of course it is. Tell me, did anything exciting happen today?"

"No. Just dirty trays, clean trays, that's about it."

"Let me know if anything interesting pops up."

Alex shrugged, "Sure." _No fucking way am I gonna snitch for you,_ Alex thought as he stretched out on his bunk.

"I'm out of cigarettes, Alex."

Alex groaned, "I can't move, I'm too tired."

Suddenly, the old man was upon him, grabbing him by the collar. "I said, 'I am out of cigarettes, Alex!'"

Alex looked into the milky white blue eyes of the old man, his bad breath assaulting his nostrils. He swallowed.

"I provide protection for you for simple tasks like this. Would you rather I turned you out in gen pop by yourself? Do you want to go up against the Irish again, because next time you'll loose without me. Do not fuck with me, Alex, is that clear?"

Alex remained silent.

"I said, is that clear, Alex?"

"Y-y-yes."

"Good. Now get me my fucking cigarettes. NOW!" the old man hissed at Alex.

Alex scrambled off of his bunk and got him his cigarettes from the commissary. When he got back, he found the old man sitting on the solitary stool connected to the metal desk waiting for him.

"Ah, my cigarettes. Thank you, Alex." He took the carton from Alex as if nothing had happened.

"You're welcome," Alex said barely above a whisper, climbing on top of his bunk. He lay there until he had to get down for count, then lights out. He tried to sleep, but he was too freaked out by this old man. He knew he was between a rock and a hard place, and so did the smoking man. He just hoped that he didn't have to do anything too awful for him.

Alex sighed and rolled over onto his side and lay there, staring at the brick wall of his cell until sleep claimed him a few hours later.

Fox Mulder watched Krycek work in the kitchen. He was a hard worker, he'd give him that much. He might even be able to shave a couple of years off his sentence if he kept his nose clean.

Mulder had plans for Krycek, but he had to wait until the time was right. Especially now that he was shacked up with that crazy old smoking bastard. He knew Krycek didn't take it up the ass from him, but it still bothered him.

For a month, he watched Krycek wash and stack trays for nine hours a day from four in the morning until one in the afternoon. He saw Krycek get comfortable in his surroundings and even start to gain some respect from the other men in the kitchen. After a few weeks, Alex was moved up to garbage detail, so he was now able to take a breather from the chaos in the kitchen as he lumbered the large bags to the dumpster in the back. Twice a week, special trucks came to collect the garbage, which was compacted first in the special dumpster to discourage any escapes.

His second day on garbage detail, Mulder followed Alex out to the dumpster.

"Hey."

Alex didn't say anything.

"You're Krycek, right?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Weren't you supposed to be some FBI agent or something?"

"Fuck off, hack," Alex said, before turning to walk back into the kitchen. Mulder caught him by the arm.

"I just want to talk to you."

"I can't talk to you." Alex squirmed away from Mulder's grasp and went back into the kitchen.

The next month, the shift changed and Alex was working one to ten. Since the shift ended at lights out, the kitchen staff was escorted to their cells by the hacks.

Mulder also changed shifts. He arranged to work for a fellow CO who was taking a night course for two months. This gave him plenty of time to spend on his new project.

One night, Alex was having a tough time getting the bags into the already overflowing dumpster. The truck had broken down, and there had been no collection all week. In an institution that served over three thousand meals a day, that meant a lot of garbage.

Mulder silently crept outside and stood against the wall, waiting for Alex to finish. He finally got the bags up on top of the other bags, teetering precariously on their perch.

"Fuckin' truck better come tomorrow."

"I hear it's not coming until Wednesday."

Alex turned around quickly at the sound of the voice, his eyes narrowed. "What the fuck you want?"

"I told you before, I want to talk."

"I've got nothing to say to you."

"Well, I've got plenty to say to you." Mulder quickly pressed Alex against the dumpster, his arm at his throat. "You scream, you try to run, you hurt me in any way, or tell anybody about this, and I'll have you in the hole for the rest of your fucking term, you got that?"

Alex stared into the dark hatred that clouded Mulder's eyes. He couldn't talk with Mulder's arm pressed against him like that.

"Good," Mulder sneered at him before spinning him around to face the dumpster. He cuffed Alex's hands behind his back.

Alex could smell and feel the garbage that had slopped down the side of the dumpster. He groaned and tried to squirm free, but Mulder held him fast.

"You know, Krycek, you've got a sweet, sweet ass," Mulder said as he undid the fastenings on Alex's pants and dragged them down. He kicked Alex's legs as far apart as they could go.

Alex's eyes grew wide with horror. "No!" he wailed.

"Shut the fuck up, Krycek. Anyone hears us, or hears about this and you're fucking dead, you got that?"

"No, please," Alex tried to squirm free again but was answered with a punch in the kidney. Alex gave a groan and rested his forehead against the filthy container to keep from collapsing.

"Shut the fuck up." Mulder had his pants unfastened and brought his cock out, spitting on his hands to lubricate it.

"Please, no, please," Alex whimpered, barely audible to Mulder.

"I told you to shut the fuck up," Mulder growled in his ear as he pushed his member against the tight entrance.

Alex was about to scream, but Mulder put his gloved hand over Alex's mouth. He drove in with a shove, hearing the man's muffled sobs beneath the leather. Mulder pumped hard and fast, not bothering with his captive's pleasure. He came with a grunt and a moan inside him, only then taking his hand away from Alex's mouth. He quickly put himself back inside his pants and did them up.

Alex was crying; he had never felt so filthy and disgusting in his life. Here he was trying to protect himself from the other inmates, only to have a guard fuck him up the ass.

"Turn around, Krycek."

Alex reluctantly turned, his hands still cuffed behind his back. He was embarrassed that he was hard; he hadn't enjoyed that at all.

Mulder grabbed his cock. "You've got a very nice cock, Krycek. I like it a lot. I can't wait until you fuck me with it one day." Mulder began to stroke Alex, seeing him fight the pleasure until he couldn't hold back anymore and let out a moan.

"Yeah, this cock is real nice. You know what, Alex? You took it up the ass, you're a fuckin' punk now; a prag."

Alex moaned again, "I'm not a fucking punk, I don't like it."

"Doesn't matter, Alex, you still took it. Now I'm willing not to tell your colleagues if you don't."

Alex let out another moan. Mulder was jerking him harder now, his thumb pressing on the spot just below the head.

"All you have to do is meet me when I tell you to, and your secret is safe with me."

Alex barely heard him; he closed his eyes, about to come, but then Mulder stopped stroking him and grabbed his scrotum, squeezing it hard. Alex's eyes flew open, and a gasp left his mouth.

"Is that a deal, Krycek?"

"Please."

"Yes, or no, because I can call Tagarelli out here if you like. You know what wiseguys think of fags, Krycek?"

"Please, I...what did I do to you?"

"Yes, or no, Krycek?"

"Fuck, yes."

"Good."

Another gasp left Alex's mouth as Mulder kept squeezing his balls but resumed stroking his cock. A minute later, a strangled cry left Alex's lips as he came on the filthy pavement beside the dumpster. Mulder undid his cuffs and put them back in their case at the back of his belt.

"C'mon, get yourself together; I got to get you back to your cell."

Alex did up his pants. He could feel the come seeping out of his ass and onto his underwear as he tried to regain his composure and walk back to the kitchen without passing out.

Mulder threw his keys on the dining room table when he got home from work early that morning. Working nights was a bitch. Even though he was dead tired, he decided he was not going to sleep right away. He needed to unwind. Seeing as though it was technically morning, he made himself some bacon and eggs and sat down to read his sister's latest letter. Sam was doing well now; she had her own medical practice, and she was seeing someone "special," she said. As usual, she begged Fox to quit his job and come live with her. She said that it was her turn to pay him back for giving up his dreams to take care of her and put her through school after their parents died. But Fox had let go of his dreams of becoming anything else a long time ago, and he wasn't interested in living off his little sister's charity. He would send her a nice, chatty letter, and that would take care of the problem for another couple of months.

After he cleaned up the tiny kitchen, Fox went into the living room and put on some music. He couldn't stop thinking about Alex Krycek. He'd only intended to hurt and humiliate the little bastard, but as soon as he got his hands on him, got inside him, he lost control. The pretty boy had felt so good and, despite himself, had been incredibly responsive. Krycek would probably rather die than admit it, but he had been excited by Fox's touch, had liked it deep down. Mulder had meant to rape him once to make him like the "faggots" he despised, but now that he'd had him, he knew he had to have him again. That was why he'd made Krycek swear to keep quiet about what happened and made that deal with him for future encounters.

Even though Mulder hated Krycek for the pain he'd caused Michael, his lifelong best friend and first lover, he couldn't deny that the young man was beautiful. Who could ignore that silky dark hair and those bright green eyes? Add that to the way he moved, and the man was a walking advertisement for sex. Mulder intended to accept the unconscious and admittedly unwilling invitation every chance he got. He wondered if any of the other prisoners would go for Krycek.

Alex could probably hold his own and fight them off. He worked out every day in the gym and was strong. As long as that Spender freak was his cellie, no one was going to touch him, and Spender couldn't fuck him, even if he wanted to. It was well known among the COs that Spender had been left impotent after one of his errand boys stabbed him repeatedly in the balls and groin. He'd been lucky to survive, although _he_ probably didn't think so. After that, old Spender couldn't get it up or get aroused in any way. Mulder smirked to himself. Nope, no one was going to touch Krycek...no one but him. A warm feeling ran through him as he thought of Krycek's hard muscles beneath the prison issue blues that he wore.

Thinking of Krycek had had an effect on Mulder, and he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock to take care of it. He stroked himself, imagining that it was Krycek's hand on him, Krycek's mouth sucking him, begging him for more. He could picture those pretty pink lips distended around his cock while Krycek took him all, feel his tongue fluttering along his length in place of his own fingertips, and he groaned. He was looking forward to the day the gay-basher begged to be fucked, begged for his cock in his mouth and ass. Judging by how easy it had been to make him come tonight, it shouldn't take too long. He was already imagining that muscular body on hands and knees, ass thrust upwards waiting for him. He was going to have to find a good place to take Krycek where they wouldn't be disturbed while he trained the young man to please him. Just picturing a naked Krycek kneeling at his feet was enough for Mulder, and he came, gasping hoarsely. Yes, this was going to be fun.

Alex barely dragged his ass out of bed for count the next morning. He winced as he hopped down from his top bunk, groaning as the impact of his feet hitting the concrete jarred his body. He joined his cell-mate outside, got counted, then turned to go back to bed. He had been going to stay in bed at the outset but at the last minute, made sure he was up for count; he didn't need any hassles today, especially after what had happened last night. Then again, a stint in the hole might get this Mulder asshole off his back.

"Alex....Alex..."

"What?" Alex snapped, turning to face the old man, who had a look of displeasure on his face.

"Are you ill, Alex, you're not acting like yourself today?" The old man was in his face, leering at him, and Alex could smell the nicotine and smoke emitting a pungent odor from his pores. His mouth turned down into a sneer as he waited for his reply.

Alex swallowed, he knew better than to piss the old guy off. "Sorry, I...I had a late shift last night. I couldn't sleep either. I'm tired."

"Perhaps if you need help sleeping, we could get you something?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm just going to go back to bed for awhile."

"I am going to breakfast, Alex. Then I am going for my walk in the yard. When I get back, I expect my coffee and my cigarettes ready."

"Yes, sir." Alex waited until he was out of sight before he shuddered visibly. He hated calling that old fuck _sir_ , but the last time he didn't do it, the old man smashed all of his audio cassettes and walkman. He also hated the fact that he called him by his first name. Everyone in here called each other by their last names; calling someone by their first name meant you were over them. Alex shuddered again. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

He climbed back into his bunk and pressed his face into his pillow. He tried to sleep, but images of last night began assaulting his thoughts. He had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the washroom and noticed the come and blood staining the fabric of his underwear. He had climbed back into bed and lain down, praying for sleep to come, tears streaming down his face and into his pillow. He was grateful the old man had been asleep; he didn't want him to know about this. If he found out Alex took it up the ass, even that one time, he might want to do it to him as well.

He thought of the hatred he saw in that hack Mulder's eyes. Why had he done this to him? What made him hate Alex? He didn't even know him. The tears were starting to flow again, so Alex rolled over onto his side and faced the wall, silently screaming to himself in his mind until a while later when, out of sheer exhaustion, sleep claimed him for a few hours.

Alex nervously walked into the kitchen for his shift that afternoon, glancing around to see if Mulder was there. He relaxed when he didn't see him, grabbed his tray and loaded it up with food. He then sat down with the other workers in the kitchen and listened to them gossip about each other and the fact that baseball was starting that week.

Everyone around him was joking and laughing, calling each other down for the baseball teams they liked. Alex was a million miles away, still thinking about last night. He couldn't believe that something like this had happened to him. He was a man; men don't get raped. He should have fought back, should have done something to protect himself. He'd have to get a shank and keep it on him for when he took out the garbage, then he could defend himself. He sighed inwardly as he mindlessly ate his dinner. Who was he kidding? Mulder was a hack, Alex was a con, if he tried to do anything, it would mean weeks, even months in the hole, then more charges. Alex just wanted to serve his sentence and get the hell out of here.

He finished his dinner and stood to get to work with the others. No one noticed that Alex had not joined in the conversation. The new guys weren't Italian, so they were ignored a lot. He got down to his job as they fed the other cons their dinner. He was soon engrossed, clearing trays and emptying the garbage. He didn't notice Mulder come in and stand along the wall of the dining hall about 6:00. Alex had just finished rinsing off a stack of trays and was loading them in the dishwasher when he looked over the steam line and saw him. His heart started beating faster and his face turned red as they made eye contact. Mulder didn't do anything; he just stared at him, making Alex feel uncomfortable.

He continued doing his job, his heart racing every time he had to dump a bag into the dumpster at the back, expecting to see Mulder there. When Mulder didn't show, he relaxed a little, wondering if it was just a one time thing. Later, at the end of the shift, Alex hurried to get all the garbage cleaned up and placed into the dumpster so he could finish and be escorted back to his cell with the others.

"Krycek!" Tagarelli bellowed.

"Yeah?" Alex walked over to the large Italian.

"See those boxes? We gotta break 'em down and put 'em in the room over there for recycling." Tagarelli jerked his thumb towards a room filled with containers to segregate recycling.

Alex kept his expression flat; when Tagarelli said _we_ , he meant _you_. "Sure." Alex went over to the room and started to break down the boxes, hurrying his job. He heard the other inmates leave and started to panic. He had to finish his job, he didn't want Tagarelli's wiseguy friends on him, yet he didn't want to be here alone. _Fuck!_ He worked faster, his hands ripping the cardboard, flattening the cartons that had held produce and other foodstuffs.

"I see the truck came."

Alex nearly jumped when he heard the voice behind him. A fine layer of sweat instantly coated his body as he stood there, not turning to verify who it was. He knew damn well who it was. "Keep the fuck away from me, hack." Alex turned slowly, fists clenched, ready to defend himself.

"What's the matter? Didn't you enjoy yourself last night, Krycek?"

Alex backed up so he was against the container that held the cardboard. Mulder was moving closer to him. "I thought it was okay. With a little practice, you'll get better."

Alex opened and shut his mouth in horror, not again, no way! He lunged forward to strike Mulder but was stopped by a sharp pain that radiated down his arm and through his body, making his knees weak. Before he knew it, he was being cuffed to the rail at the top of the container that held the cardboard.

"Tasers are fun, dontcha think, Krycek?"

Krycek couldn't speak; he just hung there by his wrist, his legs barely supporting him. Mulder began unfastening Krycek's pants "Don't fuck with me, Krycek. You'll do this and you'll like it, or else everyone will know you're my prag." He pulled Alex's trousers down to his ankles then cupped his face in his hand and made him look him in the eye. "You try to hit me again, and I'll cut your dick right off. You understand?"

"Fuck you," Alex groaned, the effects of the taser shock wearing off.

"You're offering now?"

Alex looked up at Mulder, a look of pure hate on his face. "Go fuck yourself, Mulder. What the hell do you have against me anyway?"

Mulder shocked Alex with the taser again, this time on the knee. He watched as Alex's body bucked from the shock.

Alex let out a cry, then hung limp from the cuffs for a minute before he came around. He had a choice to make; he could do this the hard way and get his ass kicked, or electrocuted, or killed; or he could do it the easy way. He couldn't let Mulder win; he couldn't give in to him. So he shocked himself when he said, "Just do it and get it over with."

"No. Not today. Today I'm gonna see what you have to offer." Mulder reached up and uncuffed one of his hands from the railing. "C'mon, let's see how good you are."

"What?"

"I want you to play with yourself, jerk off, then come. You don't come and I'll fuck you up the ass. You don't do it the way I like it, I'll fuck you up the ass." Mulder laughed, "Then again, maybe I'll just fuck you up the ass anyway."

Mulder dragged a chair over from the corner and sat down, his hand fondling the taser. "C'mon, Krycek, show me what you got. If you do a good job, I'll take you back to your nice, comfy cell."

Alex didn't think anything could make him hard under these circumstances; he was limp and didn't feel very aroused at all. He moved his hand down to grab himself. He held his flaccid cock in his hand and started stroking himself, fantasizing about every girl he had ever been with. It didn't work. He thought of his porn collection at home in the world, movies he had seen. It still didn't work. After a few minutes, he looked at Mulder and shrugged.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't. You saw...nothing's working."

"What are you thinking about? Women?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that could be your problem." Mulder unzipped his pants, brought out his semi-rigid cock and started to caress it lightly.

Alex looked at Mulder slowly stroking himself and licked his lower lip. He felt his groin stir slightly.

"See, you're just thinking about the wrong thing."

Alex saw Mulder look directly at his cock; he was getting off on his nudity, his vulnerability.

Mulder brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the palm, returning it to stroke himself before meeting Alex's gaze. "Look at my cock, see how beautiful it is? You want this cock, don't you, Krycek? You want to suck on this cock with your mouth; you want this cock up your ass. Just looking at it's turning you on. See how it likes you? Yeah, you want it; I know you do."

Alex tried to resist, but Mulder was right; he was getting turned on. He felt himself harden in his hand.

"C'mon, Krycek, show me what you got."

Alex started to massage his stiffening member slowly, this did feel incredibly good. He looked over at Mulder, who was doing the same thing.

"See, you like this. It feels good, doesn't it?" Mulder breathed. "Yeah, harder, harder, Krycek."

He and Mulder stroked themselves together. Alex's eyes were closed, and his mouth was slightly open. He gripped himself harder and pulled faster, making himself whimper with every stroke. God, this felt good; he hadn't done anything like this for a long time. He was always too paranoid to jerk off in his cell; he just quelled his feelings and suffered.

"You ready, Krycek?"

Alex moaned.

"I said, you ready, Krycek?"

"Yeah....oh, yeah."

"Come. Come now."

Alex opened his eyes and looked at Mulder jerking himself, and he let out a moan as he released himself and came all over the shiny, grey-painted concrete. He milked himself of his last drops then leaned back against the container, breathless.

Mulder stood and walked over to him, cock standing proud out of his open pants. "That was good, Krycek, you really have a way of making me hot." He spun Alex around and cuffed his free hand to the rail with the other one.

"Wait, what are you doing? I thought you said that's all I was gonna have to do!" Alex wailed.

"I said maybe. You made me so hot that I got to fuck you, Krycek."

"No!"

Mulder moved in close and rubbed his erection against Alex's ass cheeks. "Yeah, you're hot, Krycek. I love your sweet ass. How can I not fuck you?"

Alex gripped the rail at the top of the container, trying to wrench it off, but it held fast. Mulder kicked his legs apart, then he felt him rub something cool and slick on his anus.

"It's a good thing you boys keep the floors so clean in here. Can't let this lube go to waste." Mulder entered a finger inside and spread the smooth walls of Krycek's anus with the come he had scraped off the floor.

Alex didn't know what he meant and didn't care. He braced himself and closed his eyes as he felt Mulder enter him, this time slower than the last. It didn't hurt as much due to the lube that he had used. Alex's eyes flew open as he realized what the comment about the clean floor meant. He closed his eyes again; there was nothing he could do but wait until Mulder was finished.

Mulder embedded himself in Krycek with a final push then started to move rapidly in and out of Krycek. He did have a sweet ass; it was so tight. He angled his thrusts so that Krycek's prostate was caressed with every stroke. He could feel the other man start to enjoy himself, could feel his hips move back ever so slightly into his thrusts.

"You like that, Krycek? You like it when I fuck your ass?"

Alex didn't answer, instead he bit his lower lip until it bled. How could he be liking this? How could he find such pleasure in this act? But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't prevent himself from pushing back, angling his body to make it easier for Mulder to go deeper inside him. He let out a moan, tears of humiliation welling up in his eyes, as Mulder sped up his pace, moving his hips back and forth faster and faster. He could hear their skin slapping against each other as he reached around to feel Krycek. He knew he would be hard. He knew he was getting off on this. Mulder grabbed Krycek's cock, gripped him hard and stroked him to completion, not before he came deep into Krycek's ass with a grunt.

Mulder pulled out immediately and wiped his cock on some paper towels that were stored nearby. He uncuffed Alex and held out a length of paper towel. Alex silently wiped himself up and pulled up his pants. Mulder put himself together and led Alex out of the kitchen. Not a word was spoken as Mulder escorted Alex to his cell.

Alex got undressed and into his bunk. He lay there and stared at the ceiling for a long time before rolling over on his side and falling asleep.


	2. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek learn to understand each other a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted May 1999.

Alex Krycek lay on the padded weight bench and raised the bar with weights up over his head, a grunt leaving his throat as he did so. He breathed in deeply as he lowered the bar, the smell of stale sweat and testosterone in the weight room assaulting his nostrils. He exhaled as he raised the bar again. A few other men were in this room pumping iron, sculpting their bodies into perfect shape, shape no one but the other prisoners would see for years.

He was here, in Cedar Junction, Massachusetts, doing time for killing Jamie Ryder. He chastised himself every day for being so stupid as to beat on a man because he was drunk and out of control. Gay bashing! What the hell had he been thinking? That one act ruined his whole life.

He had started out his sentence in Virginia where he committed the crime, but only a couple of weeks into his incarceration, the roof had collapsed in his cellblock from a heavy rain. He was supposed to go to another prison in Virginia, but they were so overcrowded that most of the inmates had to be dispersed among the various other prisons up and down the East Coast. It was just dumb luck, and not his, that Fox Mulder was a prison guard at this Pen.

A hack walked by, and Alex cautiously raised his eyes to see if it was Mulder. It wasn't. Relief washed over him as he raised the weights above his head and tried not to think about what Mulder had been doing to him for the past couple of months. Alex rested the weights on the stand and stood up, stretching his arms as he did so. He wiped the sweat off of his face with his t-shirt, sat down on another bench and started on some wrist curls.

Mulder had raped him. Alex shuddered inwardly at the word rape, yet it was the truth. Mulder had been raping him repeatedly for the past two months. There was no pattern, no set time. Any shift Alex could be summoned to the recycle room, the door locked behind him while Mulder did what he wanted to him. Alex refused to think about how quickly he came when that bastard touched him.

Alex pushed the thought from his mind as he continued with his weights. It took all of 30 seconds for his mind to return to what that hack Mulder had done. In the beginning, Alex had lost his appetite and been depressed over the violations. He had wretched every time he thought about it. Now he decided to bulk himself up, make himself stronger so he could fight him off.

Alex finished his workout and headed for the showers. He stripped, then walked into the large tiled area with shower nozzles jutting out of the wall. There wasn't anyone else in here. Alex smiled to himself, grateful to be alone. As he started to wash himself, his mind drifted back to Mulder yet again.

 _Yeah, I'm gonna get build myself up, knock that taser away from him and kick his ass._ Alex smiled to himself as he thought of Mulder, sprawled on his back, being kicked in the side. _I'm gonna force that self-righteous, raping sonofabitch down on his hands and knees and force_ him _to suck_ my _dick._

Alex lathered himself up, still smiling to himself. _Yeah, I'd love to see that stupid fucking hack's pretty mouth full of my cock. Sucking on it, the head hitting the back of his throat as I push inside._

Alex's hand moved down to his cock, gripping himself tightly. "Suck my cock, bitch," he whispered to himself. "Yeah, that's it, bitch, suck it, suck it hard." His hand swiftly moved up and down his erection, soap and water making it slippery and slick. The water coursed down his body, plastering his heavy fringe of dark lashes to his cheek, carving trails down his muscular torso and arms. His hand moved faster, all the while whispering, "Suck it, bitch," to himself.

He braced one hand on the tile wall before him, the water now rushing down his back and muscular thighs, some streaming between his ass cheeks. He was close and was biting his tongue to keep from moaning out loud. Finally, he came with a quiet grunt, the water washing the evidence down the drain. He stood there, his hand bracing himself against the wall for a minute before he turned the water off and started to towel off. Two gang-bangers came in as he was leaving, giving Alex a quiet thrill that he had come so close to being caught.

He got back to his cell where the Smoking Man was waiting for him to get some more coffee. Alex turned his back to him as he got dressed; he could feel the old man's eyes upon him as he moved to put on his underwear. Suddenly, there was a hand on his buttock. Alex froze.

"You know, Alex, it's a good thing you're with me. I'd hate to see you out there all alone trying to fend the others off with a body like this."

Alex could feel the old man's hand move down to cup and caress his ass before going lower. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip; his head was spinning from revulsion at what this old man was doing to him.

"Yes, it's too bad that I can't get enjoyment out of such things anymore. I'm sure I'd enjoy you immensely." The hand moved down to squeeze his thigh, then it was suddenly gone.

Alex waited a fraction of a second before he scrambled into his clothes. He turned to face the old man, who wore the familiar leer on his face.

"Don't worry, Alex, I told you I wasn't going to do such horrendous things to you." The old man paused to light a cigarette, "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it."

Alex remained calm, despite the overwhelming urge to throw up.

"Coffee, Alex. Strong, black, just the way I like it."

Alex stood there, afraid to move.

"Alex! Coffee, now!" the old man barked at him.

"Yes, sir," Alex whispered as he got to work.

The next night, after his shift, Mulder caught up with Alex in the recycle room.

"Put down some cardboard on the floor. I want to try something new."

"And if I don't?"

"Then your knees are going to get mighty sore."

Alex put down a few layers of cardboard on the floor while Mulder locked the door and started to get undressed.

"Strip down, Krycek; I want you naked."

Alex complied, taking off his clothes and folding them neatly, setting them aside.

"On your knees."

Alex's heart skipped a beat as he got on his knees before Mulder. His pulse quickened as he looked at Mulder's cock at eye level, dripping with pre-cum.

"You want that? I know you want it, Krycek. Do what you do best, prag."

Alex put his hands on Mulder's hips and brought his mouth in to start sucking on the hard penis before him. He took him deep, almost swallowing him, as Mulder's hand caressed his hair.

"Yeah....oh god, yeah, that's it."

After a few minutes, he was pushed away, Mulder still hard, his cock still throbbing before his face.

"Stay on your knees, and put your hands over your head." Alex put his hands up, where his wrists were cuffed together. He was then pushed so he was face down on the cardboard, his knees under him. His arms were bent so he could rest his weight on his elbows, but he couldn't really move in this position.

"Ass high in the air, Krycek. Yeah, just like that. Your ass is beautiful, you know. I've been watching you work out; it makes me happy to know that you're doing this all for me." Mulder smacked Alex on the ass a couple of times before moving behind him.

"Yeah, this ass is all for me." He spat on his hands well and used that and his pre-cum to lubricate himself before he entered Alex.

Alex let out a whimper as he was filled by Mulder, trying so hard not to enjoy this. It was hard not to. Mulder was hitting his prostate with every shove, sending jolts of pleasure throughout his body. He was also massaging Alex's balls, squeezing and pulling on them, making the pre-cum flow out of the head of his cock to pool on the cardboard below him.

"Yeah, this ass is so fucking good. I love your ass, Krycek, your ass is all mine." Mulder had his hands on Krycek's hips, thrusting hard into the other man. He threw his head back as he came, a cry strangled in his throat. The walls to this place weren't soundproofed, so he had to keep himself in check. He shuddered and thrust a few more times as his orgasm ravaged his body. He collapsed forward onto Krycek, breathing hard. He stayed like that for a few minutes, before pulling out and cleaning himself off with the convenient wipes that he had made sure were near by.

Alex was still in position, knees tucked under him, hands cuffed in front of him. He hadn't come, and his balls were close to bursting. Suddenly, Mulder was undoing the cuffs and sitting beside him. Alex rose to sit as well, his hands rubbing his wrists.

"You wanna come, Krycek?"

Alex looked up into the contempt-filled hazel eyes above him. He did, god, he really did, but he wouldn't give Mulder the satisfaction of knowing.

"I know you want to." Mulder ran a finger up Krycek's cock, gaining a sigh from him.

"C'mon, Krycek, jerk off for me. I want you to come on me."

Alex looked at him; this guy was getting kinkier every day.

"I read this somewhere; it sounds like fun." Mulder got on his back. "Get on your knees and jerk off. I know you want to."

Alex licked his lips before he got on his knees and grabbed his cock, positioning it so he would ejaculate all over the hack. He stared at Mulder as he stroked his turgid member, seeing the bastard watching him and getting off on it, quickly bringing himself to completion and spilling his seed over his hand and onto the guard below him.

"See, you liked that, didn't you?" Mulder said, his voice husky and low. "Now it's my turn to get something I like. Lick it off."

"What?"

"You heard me, prag. Lick it off."

"No fucking way!"

Mulder reached up and grabbed Alex by the hair, forcing his head down to his torso. "Lick it off, bitch! You don't do it and I'll make your life a living hell."

"Fuck you!"

"Do it, Krycek. Do it or I'll turn you out into D block with no protection. You know who's in D block, don't you? That's where the sick fucks are, bikers ready to own your ass and rape you and trade you between them. You want that, Krycek?"

Alex was silent.

"I thought not. Now lick your fucking cum off of me before I use that taser on your balls."

Alex bent his head down and started on his daunting task. He tried to think of something good while he was doing it, tried to think of it as a food, but couldn't. He gagged a couple of times but finished quickly.

"Yeah, it's a good thing I read about this; this was a great idea." Mulder inspected the work Alex did; there was not a spot of cum to be seen. "Good boy. Now you can get dressed."

Alex dressed quickly, his head still spinning. As soon as he got back to his cell, he brushed his teeth four times and rinsed with mouthwash, gargling a few times before crawling into bed and trying to sleep.

_That fucker is gonna pay. I'm gonna kick his ass next time. Just wait, Mulder, you motherfucker._

Fox Mulder turned off the water in his shower, toweled off and pulled his sweats on. He sure got Krycek good last night. If Krycek had any doubts about who was in charge and who owned him, today would have reminded him. Strange thing was, Mulder was beginning to enjoy himself. He actually looked forward to fucking Krycek. He knew Krycek liked it too, he couldn't hold back his moans or hip movements when Mulder was inside him. He was such a pretty little slut it was no wonder Mulder was enjoying him. Mulder had nearly kissed him today after he licked his cum off of him, but he had held back. He couldn't get that intimate with him yet; he had to wait until Krycek wanted him, until Krycek made the first move and really belonged to him. Then the murdering little bastard would be his sextoy for the rest of his term and he'd like it. He was going to beg Mulder to fuck him.

Mulder went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat and had just put the coffee on when there was a knock at the door.

"Mike!" Mulder grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind them.

"Hey, Fox, how are you?"

Mulder embraced the man, "Mike, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too."

Both men held onto each other a long time before they broke away, Mulder ushering him into the living room. He brought them both large mugs of fresh coffee.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had that job with the EPA in DC?"

"I did. I quit." Tears sprang to Michael's eyes as he lit a cigarette. "I couldn't live there anymore; everything reminded me of Jamie. I'm back here for a while, just until I can find a job somewhere else." Michael exhaled the smoke from his lungs and started to cry. "I couldn't stay there, Fox, it was just too hard. I'd go for groceries, or shopping, and see his face everywhere. It was just too hard..." Michael wiped the tears away with the back of his hand and continued puffing on his cigarette.

"God, I'm sorry. I really am sorry."

"Yeah, well, Mom's glad to see me home; she's already got me cleaning out the gutters and fixing all kinds of things. Darryl, however, could give a shit whether I'm here or not."

"I see your brother once in awhile, but he doesn't say hi."

"To my sweet brother Darryl, I don't exist. His kids know they have an uncle somewhere, but that's about it." Michael took a long drag on his cigarette then exhaled. "Are you sure you want me here, Fox; I could be detrimental to your career?"

"Aw, fuck 'em. You've been my best friend since we were five years old." Fox smiled at him; he had missed his friend so much over the years. When Michael went away to college, then to work, he left Fox alone, and that had hurt. Deep down, he had known that Michael had to get out of this town and do something worthwhile, but he had still felt like he had lost a part of himself somehow. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there at the funeral; I had to work a double shift that day and..."

"It's okay, Fox." Michael cut him off. He stubbed out his cigarette before continuing. "I know how it is. My old man worked at the Pen for 35 years. If anyone had known that his boy was a fag when he was alive, they would have made life hard for him."

"It's not fair, Mike. I should have been there for you. They wouldn't give me the time off."

"That's okay, Mom came up. She's pretty cool for an old lady, you know. Jamie's family was there too. They were my rock all during the trial." Michael lit another cigarette and took a sip of his coffee. "That asshole Krycek though, how I wanted to leap over that railing and kill him."

Mulder nodded, a knot starting to ache in the pit of his stomach.

"All through the trial, I sat there with Jamie's family, staring at those three guys, wondering what the hell possessed them to pick on my Jamie. But that Krycek guy, he was cold. I didn't see one flicker of emotion throughout the whole time. His eyes were like cold shards of green ice." Michael took another drag on his cigarette and exhaled quickly. "I hate him, Fox. I can't forgive him for what he did to Jamie." He mashed out his cigarette in the ashtray as if he were squishing Alex Krycek in there with it.

Mulder just nodded again; he didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell Michael that he was fucking the man that killed his lover and was starting to enjoy it. He couldn't tell him that he'd seen that same cold, emotionless look when he'd raped Krycek and knew that it was only a cover. He couldn't tell him that he'd already realized that the more Krycek felt, the less he showed, especially when he was scared or thought that showing emotion would be a sign of weakness. Mulder suddenly realized that Krycek probably _had_ regretted what he had done but wouldn't or couldn't show it. He bit his lower lip, then Michael's hand was on his, stroking his fingers with his own. He looked up at him, and Michael smiled.

"Let's talk about other things, Fox. I can't go through it all again. How's Sam?"

"She's fine. She's opened a practice in Boston."

"Yeah? Great."

"Yeah, she's got a partner; they're running it together. Dana Scully's her name. She's a little older, and her experience really adds to their practice."

"That's good." Michael moved closer to Mulder on the couch, his hand still caressing Mulder's. "I've really missed you, Fox. We should have stayed together."

Mulder closed his eyes and sighed, "Michael, don't."

"Why not, Fox?"

"It's...I can't take advantage of you like this."

Michael laughed, "I think I'm the one seducing you, Fox."

Mulder turned and looked his friend in the eyes. He looked so sad, his eyes heavy with tears. Mulder stroked his face with his hand, Michael leaning into his touch. "I'm sorry."

Michael let out a sigh as the tears fell from his eyes. Mulder took him into his arms and held him close until his friend was finished sobbing. Michael stayed a little while longer, catching up on the town gossip until he had to leave. Mulder gave him a quick kiss before he watched his friend leave his house and go out to the battered pick up truck he drove when he was in town.

Mulder went to bed, needing sleep after his night shift and the emotions he had just faced. How dare Krycek put his best friend through all that pain. He very carefully did not think about the fact that when Michael had tried to seduce him, he had backed off not because he didn't want to take advantage of his friend but because he suddenly saw Krycek and didn't want Michael. If Michael had persisted, he wouldn't have been able to do anything with him. His sleep was fitful, waking a mere five hours later to get dressed to go to work again.

Alex was starting to settle into the routine of the prison; he knew who to stay away from and who would talk to him. Actually, hardly anyone talked to him. The Italians in the kitchen ignored him, and the other inmates were afraid of his cell-mate. There was one guy in the kitchen who wasn't Italian, but he was nuts. His name was Ralph Morrison, and he talked to Krycek every once in awhile but drifted off into these diatribes about conspiracies and government plots against him. Aside from that, only the Smoking Man talked to him. And Mulder. Sometimes. Just a little bit before or after fucking him.

That night, during his shift, cleaning up after dinner, Alex thought of Mulder and how he wanted to gain control of their situation. He decided that tonight was the night; he was going to be prepared and take the guard, then make him do whatever he wanted. He was a bundle of nervous energy, waiting until he saw the dark blue prison uniform saunter through the mess hall towards the kitchen.

Mulder was in a bad mood this evening. He hadn't had very much sleep, and he was pissed off at that prag Krycek for making his best friend suffer. When Mulder came into the kitchen that night, he was seething; he wanted Krycek to pay for what he had done. He ushered Krycek into the recycle room, remaining calm until they were both inside.

Alex came into the room and waited for Mulder to lock the door and give him instructions on how he wanted him tonight. His ass was still a bit sore from yesterday. He remained calm, ready for Mulder to let his guard down so he could overpower him. He didn't have a chance; a blow in the side with a billy club left him gasping on the floor, reeling.

"Hey, Krycek, you motherfucker," Mulder sneered at him.

"What was that for?" he gasped.

"Jamie Ryder." Mulder kicked Krycek in the side, watching him writhe in pain. "It's time you paid for what you did to him."

Alex looked up at the Mulder, his eyes wide with realization; no wonder he was doing all this to him. "You knew Jamie?"

Mulder brought his leg back and kicked Alex in the leg. Alex let out a howl at the pain. "Yeah, he was my best friend's lover, you little fuck!"

Alex whimpered at the pain and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. What were the odds of this happening? He opened his eyes again and looked up at Mulder, who had a look of pure hatred in his eyes. He licked his lips before speaking. "Michael?" he whispered.

Mulder's eyes narrowed as he bent down, the club at the ready. "Yeah, Michael."

"Oh, shit."

"You got that right." Mulder reached down and pulled Krycek's pants down to his ankles. "Stand up, prag."

Mulder rousted Alex to his feet and leaned him against the cardboard bin while he fumbled for his handcuffs. In that split second, Krycek had spun around and knocked the taser from his hand, scrambling for it as it clattered to the floor, his pants around his ankles not making it easy.

"What the fuck are you doing, Krycek?" Mulder held the billy club ready to strike.

"I'm not taking your shit anymore, Mulder. You're gonna do it my way this time." Alex knew that he had to take control immediately or else Mulder would probably kill him.

"Yeah, you think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

Alex kicked his pants off and lunged at Mulder, the taser missing him by inches. The next attack was more successful; Alex got him on the hand that held the billy club. The baton fell to the floor as Mulder howled in pain at the shock. Alex got the club and jabbed it in Mulder's side, knocking him to the ground before shocking him good with the taser at the back of the neck.

"You like that? Huh, bitch? That's right, you're _my_ bitch now. I'm gonna make sure you wish you were never born!"

Alex took the cuffs from Mulder's belt and cuffed him to the container, letting him hang there by his wrists. He pulled Mulder's belt and pants off, then, without preparation, entered him. Mulder was suddenly conscious and screaming.

Alex took the billy club and brought it around to choke Mulder with it, "Shut the fuck up, prag."

Mulder gasped for air and whimpered as he fought to take a breath. Alex choked him some more before flinging the club aside, he was enjoying this immensely despite the discomfort of forcing himself into Mulder's unlubricated hole. He was so hard and fucking Mulder just made him harder. He thrust hard into the guard, hands on his hips to bring him back to meet his movements.

"Yeah, you're my bitch now, Mulder. Take it, baby, feel that, that's a man fucking your ass." Alex came with a cry, not caring who heard; he hadn't had an orgasm like that for a long time. His body shuddered and shook as his cum shot into Mulder's ass. When he was done, he cleaned himself up, pulled on his pants and looked at the man still cuffed to the large metal container. He turned Mulder around to face him. Tears stained his cheeks, and a look of horror was on his face as he looked at the con who held him captive and had just raped him.

Without a word, Alex reached up and uncuffed Mulder from the container and watched him slump to the floor. He was going to say something but didn't. Instead, he walked out the door and back to his cell without saying a single word to the man he'd just raped.

The next day, Alex was on an emotional high that he hadn't felt since he found out he'd been accepted at Quantico. He kept his cool on the outside, but on the inside, he was feeling giddy. He had actually done it! He had overpowered Mulder and shown him who was really boss. He had made him his bitch! Alex nearly smiled to himself as he entered the kitchen to start his shift. He couldn't wait to see Mulder's face. All through his shift, he looked over into the dining hall to see if he was there. When Mulder didn't show by the end of the evening, he really smiled to himself. _He must be too afraid to come back. He's probably afraid of what I'll do to him._

Alex almost sniggered out loud as he walked back to his cell with the others. He had scared a hack away from work! He tried not to grin as he got back to his cell but couldn't help himself.

"What is it, Alex? You look surprisingly happy today," the Smoking Man asked.

"I just had a really good day. How would you like a coffee, Spender?"

The Smoking Man looked at him wryly. Alex never volunteered to get him coffee; he always waited for him to ask. "Yes, Alex, that would be quite nice, thank you." He watched as Alex bustled around, filling up the tiny coffee maker that they were allowed. Alex was almost happy; this was quite odd. "Alex, you didn't kill anyone today, did you?" He took a long drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke drift out of his nostrils.

Alex turned around and laughed at the man, making him raise an eyebrow. "No, I didn't kill anyone. I just had a good day."

"I see." Spender sat back and waited for his coffee, finishing his cigarette and starting another. He accepted the cup of dark, hot liquid from Alex and took a sip before speaking. "You didn't fuck anyone today, did you, Alex?"

"Excuse me?" Alex stared at the man in disbelief, a shock running through him.

"There has to be a reason for your underlying good mood. Did you get laid?"

"No."

Spender looked up at him and narrowed his eyes, his mouth turned into his familiar leer. "You had better not. Although I can't take pleasure with you myself, that does not mean that you are free to do so with other men. If I hear of such things, you can be sure that I will turn you out on your own."

Alex kept his cool exterior as he sat on the stool in the corner. "I'm not fucking anybody. I'm not a fag, so how could I fuck someone?"

Spender took a sip of his coffee and a large drag off of his cigarette, blowing the smoke in Alex's face before giving a cruel smile. "You're right. You wouldn't let some gentleman fuck you up the ass, would you, Alex?"

"No, sir."

Spender leered at him before stubbing out his cigarette and leaned back on the bunk. "They'd better not; you belong to me." He let the statement sink in for a second before adding, "I'm out of Werther's, Alex."

"I'll get them right away." Alex hopped up off the stool and left the cell, feeling like he wanted to throw up. _I don't belong to that black lunged monster. I don't belong to anybody._ His shoulders sagged, and the spring left his step, his good mood ruined as he thought about the past 24 hours and went to get the old man his candy.

Fox Mulder lay on his couch in his living room, sipping a beer. His vacation couldn't have come at a better time; he was dead tired and, at the beginning of the week, his ass hurt. He had considered driving to Boston to see Sam, but laziness had got the better of him, and now he was content to lie on his couch and vegetate. He had been thinking of what Krycek had done to him the week before, how he had turned the tables on him. The initial shock had worn off by now, but he still felt uneasy about what happened.

In all his years as a guard, nothing like that had _ever_ happened to him before. He had never had an inmate take control from him like that. Of course, he'd never repeatedly forced an inmate to have sex with him over a period of several months before either. He had started working here, at Cedar Junction, to support Samantha and send her through school. When she was done, he applied for a transfer, to see the world, he had told himself. He spent two years in Illinois, then three in Kansas. By then, he missed home; he missed being close to Sam. When a spot opened up back in Cedar Junction, he came back. He never did sell his parent's house; instead he had rented it out to a couple who worked at the Pen. When he told them he was coming back, they were ready to move on.

He finished his beer and placed the empty bottle on the table before he rolled over onto his side. He tried to concentrate on the Nova Special he was watching, but his thoughts kept coming back to Krycek. After he had left the recycle room, Mulder had lain there for a few minutes before he pulled himself together and went back to patrolling his beat. He was stunned more than anything as he walked around, the cum seeping out of his ass to stain his underwear. He finished his shift then went home, where he took a long, hot shower, scrubbing the smell of Krycek off of his body.

Michael had come over yesterday evening; and they had sat around Mulder's back yard, drinking beer and barbecuing some steaks. It was good to have someone to talk to, to have a real friend around again. Unfortunately the one thing he wanted to talk about, he couldn't divulge to his friend. _What would Mike think? He'd probably hate me._ Mulder had acquaintances, guards he palled around with, that he saw at the bar when the work week was done, but he didn't have someone he could really call a friend, a buddy. Once in awhile, he'd talk to Krycek, but he didn't offer up much in the way of conversation. He mostly nodded and gave simple yes or no answers. Occasionally, he swore that Krycek had started to smile but caught himself before he let out an emotion and shut himself off completely.

His eyes started to close, images of Krycek holding the taser on him running through his mind. He opened his eyes to drive the image away, but his mind wouldn't let him. He fell into a fitful sleep, waking a few hours later in a pool of sweat.

Alex was breaking down boxes in the recycle room, a frown on his face. Mulder hadn't been to work for a week. At the beginning, Alex was elated; he knew he had driven the hack away, scared him, made him aware that Alex was a force to be reckoned with.

He sighed as he picked up another box and started flattening it. He wouldn't admit to himself that he missed the man, instead rationalizing the sulleness to lack of sexual activity. He shook his head, _It wasn't sex, it was rape, Alex!_ He nodded. He picked up another box but then put it down and looked around. Right here, in this very room, was where the violations had taken place, yet he felt no discomfort in here. He actually felt...safe. He thought of Mulder, sucking on his nipples, pinching and twisting them into hardness before his hand dipped down to caress his cock, thumb spreading the pre-cum over the head.

"Stop it!" he hissed at himself, pacing the floor, his hands clenching and unclenching.

He picked up the box again and tore into it, his hands shaking with the anger that he felt at himself. _He was your rapist, not your lover._

They would sometimes talk after they were finished, about sports, about the weather. Mulder had asked him about his family once...

"Quit it!" Alex punched the large metal container that he had been cuffed to so many times. "He's not my friend. I hate him for what he did to me." Alex kicked one of the boxes, almost screaming in frustration at the images assaulting his brain. "He raped me, he's not my friend...he fucked me...I hate him."

Alex closed his eyes and breathed deeply, unsuccessfully trying to push the memories from his mind. He thought of Mulder's strong back and shoulders, how he would dig his stubble into his back as he took him from behind. His smell, of musk and arousal and a hint of spice. His hands, always holding him, or caressing him, touching him in just the right places. His mouth, the mouth that never touched his own yet nipped a trail across his shoulder blades. That lower lip, luscious like a ripened piece of fruit, just waiting to be nibbled on. His cock, his hard, large, cut cock, ready for his mouth. At first he gagged, but then he started to enjoy the feel of the velvety shaft inside his mouth, his tongue sliding over the head, teasing the slit. Then he'd be spun around, or draped over a stack of newspapers as Mulder took him from behind, every stroke sending immense pleasure throughout his body.

Alex locked the door then reached down and adjusted himself in his prison issue blues. Yeah, Mulder knew how to make him feel good. He leaned against the steel bin full of cardboard and brought out his hardening cock, stroking himself gently. If Mulder were here right now, he'd just be entering him with his fingers, stretching Alex wide to accommodate him. Alex pulled his pants off and kneeled down on the floor, his legs spread wide. He put two fingers in his mouth, wetting them well, before he bent forward slightly, leaning against a stack of newspapers for balance as he so often did when Mulder fucked him, and reached back with his hand to his puckered opening. He pressed inward, allowing his moist digits to probe inside. His other hand was still stroking his cock, making himself harder.

He dug in deeper, hooking his finger slightly, searching for that spot that Mulder seemed to find immediately. It took him a minute, but finally, the pleasure point was found, bringing a gasp to his lips. Alex moaned as he moved his fingers in and out of his ass, while his other hand pumped at his cock. He started moving his hips back and forth, fucking himself on his fingers and into his hand at the same time. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was parted slightly, his breath coming out in gasps.

"Yeah, baby...yeah, give it to me, baby."

Alex moved his hips faster, digging in harder, a third finger joining the two already in his ass. He was close. It was coming; he could feel it in the base of his spine and the bottom of his balls. He moved faster, sweat forming on his upper lip. He wanted someone to kiss; he wanted someone to hold...he wanted Mulder. Yes, he wanted Mulder, here, fucking him, breathing heavily into his ear, his stubble scratching his neck. He wanted to feel those strong arms around him as he was cuffed, his hands above his head, helpless, in Mulder's control.

"Yeah baby, fuck me. Fuck me, Mulder, yeah, fuck me!" Alex bit his lower lip hard enough to almost draw blood as he came, his pearly white fluid making a slick puddle on the floor before him. He remained in his position, his fingers up his ass, his hand gripping his cock tightly, as he shuddered under the orgasm's power. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes, blinking at the harsh light assaulting his dilated pupils. Slowly he stood and found the wipes hidden behind the pop can crates, then cleaned himself and the floor up. He tossed the boxes that were on the floor into the bin, opened the door, turned off the lights, and went back to join the others in the kitchen.

Alex had barely slept all night; he kept thinking about that moment when he realized he wanted Mulder, when he called Mulder's name as he came. What was happening to him? How could he want the man who repeatedly raped him? How could he want a _man_? But even as he thought that, he remembered how even the first time, painful and humiliating as it was, Mulder hadn't done him any lasting physical harm and had made him come. _No, no, no!_ he thought. _He raped me and he's twisting my mind, trying to make me think he didn't._ Alex tossed restlessly in his bunk, desperately trying to understand what was happening to him.

He could understand, if not forgive, the rape since he understood why Mulder did it. After Mulder had told him about his longtime friendship with Michael Lindsey, Jamie Ryder's lover, Alex had been surprised that Mulder hadn't hurt him more when he had the chance. But that hadn't made it any better and hadn't stopped him from turning the tables on Mulder when he had the chance.

Alex was starting to think that _that_ had been his biggest mistake yet. Now he knew how good it felt to be inside the man, and he couldn't blame it on Mulder forcing him. He'd liked it, and he wondered what it would be like to fuck Mulder when he was willing. Or how it would feel to be fucked by Mulder if he wasn't fighting the pleasure, if he let him take him. Alex moaned.

The following day Alex dragged himself through his work, so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Between that and being distracted by his thoughts of Mulder, he was in a fog most of the day.

It had been a full week since he'd seen Mulder now, and he wondered if he'd transferred to another cellblock. He hoped not, not now that he'd realized that he wanted to see the man again, wanted to understand what was happening between them. He was on garbage detail again tonight, hauling the bags out to the dumpster, then he'd have to take care of the recycling since two men got paroled today. He tossed a bag into the huge dumpster, freezing when he sensed someone behind him.

"This seems familiar."

Alex whirled around at the sound of the quiet monotone, a huge grin spreading across his face when he saw Mulder standing behind him.

"Mulder!"

Mulder was more than a little surprised at Krycek's reaction to seeing him. The last time he'd seen the man a week ago, he'd been walking away after raping him. "Miss me, Krycek?" he asked sarcastically, stunned when the younger man blushed furiously. "You did!"

Alex couldn't meet his eyes, staring at the ground, noticing as he glanced up nervously that Mulder was hard. Maybe he hadn't been avoiding him because of what happened. "Where've you been?" he asked quietly.

"On vacation," Mulder shrugged.

"Vacation?"

"Yeah, I had a week coming to me."

Relief washed across Alex's face at those words, and he smiled faintly at the guard before him. "That's good." He started shoving more garbage up and into the bin. Then he stopped and turned back to Mulder, "I thought maybe, I..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just that what happened last week, when I..." Alex trailed off and crossed his arms across his chest.

Mulder laughed out loud, "You didn't think _you_ drove me away, did you?"

Alex took a deep breath. This was it. Decision time. He could give a smart ass answer, and they would continue as they'd been, or he could take a chance and tell the truth. Either Mulder would laugh at him and totally humiliate him, or maybe, just maybe, they could get past everything that had happened. He forced himself to look up, meeting the hazel eyes that watched him. "I hoped not."

Mulder couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?"

Alex opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He couldn't make himself say anything else, not till he knew what Mulder felt, what he really wanted from him. He just stared at the man he'd considered his enemy, his worst punishment in this hellhole, for the last few months and who now might be... he wasn't sure what.

Mulder didn't move, but something softened in his eyes, and Alex felt hopeful. Chewing on his lower lip, he slowly reached toward Mulder, cupping his palm around the guard's jaw, feeling the stubble rasp against the sensitive flesh. He rubbed his thumb over that full bottom lip that he'd been refusing to admit he was fantasizing about, tugging it down, then gasping when Mulder caught his thumb between his teeth.

Mulder reached for Krycek, his hand tracing the rigid cock in his trousers. He wasn't quite sure what had happened to turn the man from raping him the last time he'd seen him to practically offering himself to Mulder today, but he couldn't deny he wanted the little slut anymore. If Krycek was willing now, so much the better.

Alex stared at Mulder, slightly stunned at how aroused he was now that he had admitted to himself that he really did want this man. He suddenly stepped back, unfastened and shucked his pants, and turned around, bracing his hands against the side of the dumpster. He spread his legs, wriggling his ass slightly at Mulder as he glanced over his shoulder at the older man, the long lashes shadowing his eyes. Mulder just gaped at him in disbelief.

"Come on, Mulder, take me again, here, like you did that first time." Alex twisted around so he could meet Mulder's eyes. "I want you to."

Mulder was still stunned, but his body was quite clear on what it wanted to do when confronted with Alex's tempting ass. He started to grab Alex, then stopped. He hesitated for a moment, then reached into his pocket, pulling out the lube he'd placed there that afternoon before coming to work. He hadn't admitted to himself that he'd intended to see Krycek again after what had happened, but here he was, where he knew he'd find Krycek, and wasn't it convenient that he just happened to have lube in his pocket. He hadn't used any with the convict up till now, not wanting to make it any easier on him, but something had changed. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to feel himself sheathed in that ass again.

He squeezed out some lube, hastily applying it to himself, then smoothing it into Krycek, smiling when he saw how the man pushed back onto his fingers.

Alex felt Mulder's fingers slide inside him easily, stroking him, hitting that spot that made him see stars and cry out in ecstasy. He moaned, letting himself enjoy it, riding them, loving every second. He whimpered in protest when the fingers pulled out of him, but Mulder stroked his back soothingly.

"I've got something better for you, baby. You're gonna like this _soo_ much," Mulder purred in his ear, rubbing his cock along Alex's crack, teasing him with what he wanted. "Open yourself for me; show me where you want me."

Alex gasped at the words but spread his legs wider and braced a shoulder against a relatively clean spot on the dumpster. He reached around behind himself and grasped his cheeks, spreading them for Mulder.

Mulder smiled. "You're such a slut, Krycek. I knew you were under that cocky attitude."

Alex flinched at the harsh words and started to straighten up, suddenly wondering if he'd made a huge mistake. But Mulder pressed a hand into the small of his back, holding him down.

"Don't you move, Krycek! You offered, and I'm taking you up on it. You're mine now." And with that, Mulder slid inside Krycek in a long, slow glide. Both men gasped at the sensation, and Alex pushed back against Mulder, trying to draw him even deeper. His hands were now on Mulder's ass, pulling on him, until Mulder reached down and moved them to the dumpster so Alex could brace himself. Mulder reached around Krycek, taking hold of his cock and stroking in counterpoint to his thrusts inside the man.

Alex was going insane as he let himself enjoy what Mulder was doing to him this time. It had always felt good, but now that he wasn't fighting it, it was incredible. He loved the fullness inside him and the tightness of Mulder's slightly rough hand on his cock. He didn't realize that Mulder was concentrating on him this time, determined to make him come while Mulder was still inside him. Then he felt Mulder's teeth nipping at his shoulders and neck, and he arched his head back, making his throat accessible.

Mulder sucked on Krycek's throat for a moment before regretfully making himself let go. Much as he'd love to mark the younger man, he knew he couldn't. If the Smoking Man saw a mark on him, he'd withdraw his protection or kill him himself. Even if he didn't kill Krycek, being turned out without his protection and with a mark like that on him would make his pretty ass fair game for every bastard in the place. Mulder did not want to share. Krycek was _his_.

Krycek was emitting little gasping sobs with every thrust, and his nails scrabbled uselessly at the metal sides of the dumpster, seeking something, anything, to grasp on to. Mulder was nibbling on his ear now, licking it, blowing on it, making him shudder with the overwhelming sensations racing through his body.

"Touch yourself, Krycek," Mulder breathed in his ear, "pinch your nipples; feel how good it is. You want to come, don't you? Do what I tell you, and I'll make you feel _sooo_ good."

Alex whimpered. His hips were jerking wildly, pushing back onto Mulder then forward into his hand in a frenzy. Every thrust inside him hit that pleasure point that Mulder had introduced him to, sending white hot shocks of pleasure through his body. He brought one shaking hand to his body, rubbing it over his chest, teasing his already hard nipples, then pinched one of the rigid buds. The slight pain of his nails digging in felt so good, and the pleasure reverberated through him. Mulder had been watching, and when he saw Alex's eyes widen at the sensation, he thrust hard into him and rubbed his thumb over the sensitive spot on the underside of the head of Alex's cock at the same moment as he bit lightly on his throat.

The combination of sensations all at once was too much for Alex, and he came, shoving a fist into his mouth to muffle his shriek of completion. Mulder reveled in feeling Alex's muscle ripple around him, milking him of every drop of fluid, and he muffled his own groan of pleasure in the younger man's shoulder. He kept one arm around the limp man's waist, holding him up while he regained his breath.

After a moment, Mulder raised his come-covered hand to Alex's mouth, surprised when the man eagerly licked it clean, then sucked on his fingers. Mulder lowered his hand again, ignoring Krycek's murmur of protest when his fingers slid out of his mouth, and scraped some of the fluid off his belly with one finger. Mulder pulled out of Alex, gaining a faint sigh from him, then turned him around so they were face to face. He stared into Krycek's eyes as he raised his hand to his lips, then licked it clean. He did that again and again under Krycek's fascinated gaze, then curved his hand around the back of the younger man's neck, pulling him in closer so he could kiss him for the first time.

Alex remained rigid with surprise at first, not knowing how to react, but slowly, as Mulder's tongue gently traced the line of his lips, he relaxed and opened for him, letting that tongue slip inside his own mouth to twine around his tongue. He tasted himself, and under that a faintly sweet, faintly spicy flavor that could only be Mulder. He pressed forward into the kiss, tentatively sliding his arms around Mulder's waist, tightening his grasp when Mulder didn't object.

Eventually the need to breathe forced Mulder to pull back, and he stared into Krycek's eyes questioningly for a long moment. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he pressed Krycek's head to his shoulder, holding it there while one hand stroked the soft, sable hair. Krycek sighed quietly and snuggled closer, relaxing into Mulder's embrace, soothed by the repetitious motion.

Alex released Mulder immediately when the older man stepped back. He looked up, meeting Mulder's gaze curiously, gaining a small smile.

"Get dressed," the guard instructed quietly, and Alex nodded.

"Mulder," he started, but he was silenced by the other man's finger on his lips.

"Not now. You have to get back inside before someone comes looking for you."

Once he was cleaned up and dressed again, Alex went back in as instructed, but not without an anxious glance thrown over his shoulder. Despite Mulder's half-smile, he left no more certain of what was happening between them than he'd been before he saw Mulder again. He'd have been surprised to know that Mulder was as confused as he was.

After Alex disappeared back inside, Mulder slumped down on a box, burying his face in his hands. _What the fuck was that? Shit, I had the perfect opportunity to humiliate the bastard, to make him pay for what he did, and instead I... I made_ love _to him! What the hell is happening to me? I can't actually give a damn about Alex Krycek, can I?_ His thoughts were a welter of confusion. All he knew was that he hadn't been able to hurt Krycek, not when he saw the vulnerability in those big green eyes. Mulder groaned and headed inside back to work, not wanting to think about it anymore.

Alex was on cloud nine as he walked back to his cell. He desperately wanted to turn around and go back to Mulder and hold him and kiss him again. He could still feel their lips pressed together, Mulder's tongue stroking the inside of his mouth. He stifled a smile and continued walking, not letting anyone else know what he was thinking about.

He finally got to his cell, but when he looked inside, he saw a young man beating on the Smoking Man. Alex stood there for a minute, unsure what to do. After watching the young man punch the Smoking Man in the face over and over again, he finally came to his aid.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" he finally asked.

"Leave us alone!" The young man turned towards him, a shank in his hand. "This is between me and him."

Alex stepped back and looked upon the scene. The young man looked down at the old man, a familiar leer on his lips. "This is for Mom and all the pain and grief you caused her, you black lunged motherfucker!" Then the young man stabbed the Smoking Man, over and over again, the blood arching high into the air and spattering the walls. "Fuck you, Dad! Fuck you!" the young man screamed as the sharp object jabbed into his father again and again.

Alex stepped backwards out the door to his cell until he was at the railing of the catwalk. He looked at all the blood in his cell; he couldn't believe it. He barely noticed the guards coming to see what the commotion was and the lockdown that followed. Alex just stood there, expressionless, watching. Finally, they subdued the young man with their clubs and dragged him away, a red trail of blood smearing along the catwalk as they went. One of the guards came up and cuffed Alex to the railing.

A booming voice beside him shocked Alex back to reality. "What the fuck is going on here? I told you to keep Jeff Spender away from here and in his own block! Goddamn it, now we're in a shitload of trouble!" Skinner turned and screamed at his guards, "Who the fuck is on that gate? I want him in my office, NOW!" Skinner stalked away, leaving Alex and the guards to deal with the mess.

Alex could hear the whispering through the air vents as the news of what happened ran like wildfire through the block. He could see the little hand mirrors poking out from between the bars, reflecting the action to the cells down the tier.

"Goddamn, he bled like a stuck pig," one of the guards commented as the maintenance crew arrived.

"C'mon, Krycek, you've got some questions to answer," the guard said as he led him away to Skinner's office. Out of the corner of his eye, Alex could see Mulder lurking, his face expressionless.

After hours of interrogation, they finally let Alex go. The hacks realized he didn't know anything. Alex, however, found out that the young man who had killed CGB Spender was none other than Jeffrey Spender, his son. It seemed the younger Spender had held a grudge against his old man for years. When he found out he was in this prison, he actually robbed a bank so he could come here and kill his father. Talk about focused.

Alex looked around, admiring the cleanliness of everything, the smell of bleach in the air. The top bunk had a new, bare mattress on it, and the Smoking Man's effects had vanished, leaving Alex completely alone. He was about to smile at the prospect of being alone, finally, for the first time in months, when he heard a voice emanate from the grate at the top of his cell by the ceiling.

"Krycek?" It was Wilkes, from the cell next door. He was a small time drug dealer and pimp who was putting his cellie's kids through college. The biker had saved him from being shanked out in the yard one day, and Wilkes was so grateful that he agreed to put $1,000 per month in the biker's kids' college fund. He figured it was easier to hire muscle than suck it.

Alex stood on the desk and whispered back, "What?"

"You gotta watch your back, Krycek."

"You think I don't know that! What did you hear?"

"Fitzpatrick's still pissed that you kicked his ass, and now that the Smoking Man's dead, he wants a piece of you."

"That was months ago!"

Wilkes snorted, "The Irish don't forget grudges easily. Look at Belfast."

"Shit!"

"Be careful, Krycek."

"Thanks, Wilkes."

Alex hopped off the desk and sat down on his bunk, his head in his hands. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry. What a fucked up day. He fell in love, his protection was killed, but he didn't really care about that second point right now. He was actually quite grateful that he wouldn't have to look at his craggy old face anymore. He shook his head and went over to the small sink in the corner, where he splashed cold water on his face, trying hard not to think of the Irish and their threats.

He crawled into bed as the lights went out, the thin blanket covering his boxer short-clad body. He closed his eyes and thought of Mulder fucking him from behind as Alex spread his cheeks, ready and waiting. Alex allowed himself to harden as his hand wandered down to the waistband of his boxers, then dipped inside and caressed the rigid flesh. He had never jerked off before in his cell, not wanting to do anything remotely sexual around the Smoking Man. But now the Smoking Man was dead, and he was alone in his cell; he could do this all night, if he wanted to.

He rolled over on his side, his back shielding his actions from any passing guard. His hand gripped himself as he thought of Mulder's large cock filling his mouth; it tasted so good. He wished he'd had a chance to taste him again today, but he'd have another chance soon, maybe even tomorrow. Alex swallowed as his mouth worked as if Mulder's cock was already there, sucking and licking at the air. He put two fingers in his mouth and sucked on those instead, imagining them to be Mulder's hardness. His hand worked at his cock, his thumb teasing the slit and working the pre-cum down to lubricate the shaft. He came with a grunt, biting his fingers so he wouldn't make too much noise. He cleaned himself up, then lay there, spent, snuggling his face into his pillow, cuddling back against the cold brick wall, wishing it was Mulder

The next day, Alex kept his head up and his senses on full alert as he went about his day. He hadn't seen Fitzpatrick all day, and that worried him. He knew Fitzpatrick was planning something, but he knew that he would probably make Alex wait, attacking him when he least expected it. That time came when Alex went into the recycle room. There were three of them waiting for him, Alex's arms full of bags of tin cans. One of them shut the door while the other came up behind him and held him as Fitzpatrick laid the boots to him. Alex didn't stand a chance.

Not surprisingly, it was Mulder who found him, twenty minutes later, bleeding and beaten, barely breathing. He immediately dropped to his knees and cradled his head in his hands.

"Krycek, Krycek....Alex." Mulder caressed the blood soaked hair with his thumb. "Alex, who did this to you?"

_He called me Alex._

"Who did this to you?"

Alex shook his head slightly, then closed his eyes.

"Fuck!" Mulder snapped into action, leaving Alex on the floor as he called for help. Within a few minutes, a gurney was wheeling him away to the infirmary. Mulder could only watch as his new lover was taken away. He had to stay at his post and try and find out what happened to Krycek. He knew no one was going to talk and it was a waste of time, so he just stood there, against the dining room wall, ears ready to hear any gossip. On his way home, he stopped by the infirmary to see how Alex was.

"Hey, Pendrell."

"Hey, Mulder, what's up?"

"Not much. You still rebuilding that old Camaro?"

"Yeah, a few more weeks and I'll be able to start that sucker."

"How're Connie and the kids?"

"She's fine; they're growing like weeds. Never have more than two, Mulder, five is just way too many to handle."

Mulder laughed, "Hey, how's that Krycek kid? He sure got the shit kicked out of him."

Pendrell whistled, "Yeah, no kidding. We had to transfer him to the hospital for surgery. Broken ribs, punctured spleen, broken arm." Pendrell paused as he reached for a report. "Oh yeah, cuts, abrasions, and a concussion."

"Wow." Mulder felt sick as he heard the list of Krycek's injuries.

"Yeah, he should be just getting out of surgery now. He should be back here in a couple of days. They'll keep him sedated until then."

"Hey, thanks, Bri."

"No problem, Mulder." Pendrell paused for a moment, "I hear Michael's back in town."

"Yeah, he's back for awhile, until he finds a new job."

"You guys should come over one day. It'll be just like old times."

Mulder smiled at Pendrell, remembering how they used to hang out together and get in trouble as kids. Brian was the only one in this town who didn't pass judgement on anyone. He didn't care what you were on the outside; he cared who you were as a person on the inside. "Thanks, Bri, we'll do that."

Mulder left the infirmary and drove to the hospital, still in uniform. He found the room Alex was in, a guard posted outside the door. He was just about to enter the room, but the nurse stopped him, thinking he was there to question him.

"Look, he's been through enough as it is. Can't you guys just leave him alone to rest? You've got him shackled to the bed for god sakes. I don't care what he did, you can't treat sick people this way."

"I just want to know how he is. He got attacked on my shift; I'm responsible. I need his condition for my report."

The nurse snorted, then looked down at the chart. "He's going to be fine, as long as you leave him alone."

"I'm not going to touch him, I just want to see him."

The nurse looked up at Mulder, then at the clock above his head. "You've got one minute; you do anything to him, and I'll lodge a formal complaint."

Mulder nodded and followed the nurse inside the room. He looked down at Alex's battered face, his beautiful cheekbones marred by contusions. His nose was wide and swollen, and there were knuckle marks on his forehead. Mulder wanted to touch him, to take his hand in his and let him know that it would be all right, but he couldn't. He thanked the nurse then left, going back to his car, where he sat in a dark corner of the hospital parking lot and wept.


	3. Restoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex recovers from being beaten, and Mulder faces facts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written with Nicole S. Originally posted June 1999.

Alex Krycek blinked his eyes open for the first time in days. He tried to focus on where he was, but his eyes didn't seem to be working at that moment. He closed his eyes again and sighed. He felt awful. His throat hurt; his head hurt, his side hurt; something was up his nose blowing cool, moist air into his lungs. He lay there for a few minutes before he decided to see where he was again. Squinting into the brightness, his surroundings came into focus. IV, stand, hospital bed, that antiseptic smell, the soft hiss of oxygen.

Alex tried to sit up but couldn't. He tried to move his arms out to grip onto the bars of the bed for leverage but found one immobilized and tubes sticking out of it. The other one flopped uselessly out to the side, strength gone from his muscles. He raised his head a few inches but put it back down on the pillow fast; it hurt too much to move.

He moved his head to the side and saw someone in a hospital uniform moving in his direction. He tried to speak, to get their attention, but found he could not. The person came over to him and Alex tried to sit up to talk.

"Hey, man, relax. Doc Pendrell'll be here in a sec."

Alex opened his mouth, but was at a loss for words again, his throat incredibly sore. A croaking noise came out instead.

"You had a tube down your throat past coupla days. It's gonna hurt like a bitch for about a week."

Alex rolled his eyes and tried to shake his head, but that also hurt. He closed them then opened them again, this time they focused so he could finally see who was speaking to him. It was some small time pusher from C block, Portuguese guy, Paiva was his name. Alex had seen him in the dining hall. The Italians muttered about him and his Portuguese friends who were trying to squeeze them out of the drug trade in C Block. Then again, the Italians muttered and gossiped about everybody.

"You know, gettin' the shit kicked outta you caused us all a world of grief, Krycek."

Alex again tried to speak but gave up. The young man sat down on his bed and leaned in close. "See, you the only guy who'll take out the damn garbage. Clarke and Silva did it, but they got paroled, then you got beat up, no one's left. Wiseguys don't wanna do it. No one wanna do it. The Wops had their little Russian boy to do all the dirty work, but now the garbage just piles up. So Tagarelli gets totally pissed, the dining hall stinks, the kitchen stinks. Finally, he makes two guys do it, threatens them, but they don't wanna. So this huge fight starts and they start throwin' the garbage around. Man it fuckin' stinks and it's fuckin' vile shit, man. So they close the kitchen and lock us all down an' bring in some box lunches from somewhere. Well, no one likes that an' everyone starts throwin' food all around. Another big fuckin' mess. So Tagarelli lets the word out that if anyone's gonna fuck with his kitchen people, he's gotta fuck with him. The prison brought in this fuckin' hazardous waste crew in to clean out the fuckin' place. Space suits on an' everything. Took 'em a whole day to clean it up. It finally opened back up again, today."

Alex stared at the young man in disbelief. Tagarelli always yelled at him, called him a Soviet Commie Bastard. He thought he probably wold be shanked by one of his Wiseguys to get him out of the way one of these days. Offering his protection was something Alex had never counted on.

"So, none of them guys are happy 'bout it, but it looks like the Irish are gonna leave your ass alone for awhile." The young man smirked, "So you protected, Krycek, but you better get well soon 'cause the guys Tagarelli got doin' the garbage are messy, an' he's right pissed off."

Alex smiled in disbelief; his life just got stranger and stranger.

Suddenly, there was a voice beside them, "Paiva, how come you didn't tell me our newest patient was awake?"

Paiva hopped off the bed and gestured to Krycek, "He just woke up, Doc."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Naw, his throat's all sore from the tube."

Dr. Pendrell moved over Alex and took his pulse. He looked down at the man lying on the bed, a forced smile on his lips, "Are you having any pain?"

Alex nodded his head slightly.

"I've prescribed some pain killers for you." The doctor looked down at the chart in his hand and scribbled on it, then back at Alex. "You should be out of here in about a week." Pendrell checked his chart again, then looked back at his patient. "In the meantime, it's bed rest." He gave another forced smile and walked away.

Alex lay back on his pillow, his head spinning from the things Paiva told him. What was he going to have to do for Tagarelli for his protection? He knew the Italians were entirely homophobic, so he wouldn't have to bend over for anyone...Alex blushed as he finished his thought, _anyone but Mulder._ He hoped the Italians didn't ask him to kill anyone; that just wasn't his style.

Paiva was back at his bedside, checking his IV and injecting a drug into the small tube that led off to the side.

"Here's your pain relief, man." He leaned down and whispered in Alex's ear, "You need anymore painkillin' when you outta here, I can fix you up nice."

Alex nodded at the young man, who walked away to tend to his other duties.

Krycek lay there for the entire day, scoping out the ward when he wasn't sleeping from the drugs they gave him, seeing who else were patients. There were people who were beaten, stabbed, and just plain old sick. In the corner of the ward, there was a plexi-glass room with a CO in it, watching their every move. There was also a CO who walked the floor, ensuring there was no trouble. They'd switch every hour, giving them chances to sit down. There was a plexi-glass door off to the side that led to the ward, but there was also a door leading out to the hallway in the back.

He could now move his hands and his head a little bit, sipping the occasional taste of water to soothe his still aching throat. He dozed off and on throughout the day, the drugs sending him into a hazy escape of this place. About 5 in the afternoon, he woke up when they brought him some food. He ate a little but wasn't very hungry. He pushed his tray aside and flopped back to the pillow, his head turned toward the front of the ward, where the guard was. Suddenly, the door behind the guard swung open, and another CO entered from the hallway. Alex's heart skipped a beat. It was Mulder.

He could see Mulder joking with the other hack, laughing, until he threw a stack of papers on the desk before him. He saw Mulder linger for a minute, surveying the room until their eyes met across the room. It was if time had stopped; the only thing that mattered was this hazel gaze meeting his own. Alex's insides fluttered; his tongue darted out to moisten his dry lower lip. Mulder looked away suddenly, as the other hack asked him something. Mulder answered then left the enclosure.

Alex could feel his body tingle with excitement at what just happened. He wished Mulder could come here and feed him ice cubes to soothe his throat. He wished Mulder could come and kiss him and hold his hand and make it all better. Alex sighed and turned his face to the side as far it would go, regretting that he couldn't roll over and bury his face in it and cry.

Mulder left the plexi-glass guard enclosure, ensuring to pull the door shut, lock snicking behind him. He had come here on some useless errand that he had sweet talked some secretary out of doing. _I'll take it down there, Shelly. Naw, I don't mind, I know how you don't like going to the medical ward._ Mulder nearly punched himself in the head for flirting so blatantly with her. He hoped he wouldn't have to do it too often to find an excuse to come down here and look at Alex.

"Alex." He shook his head, as he said the name to himself under his breath. What the hell was he doing? Krycek was a damn prisoner, he was a Corrections Officer. This was never going to work, it was too dangerous, too stupid. What if they got caught? Mulder's shoulders slumped, and he shook his head. _I should just apply for a transfer and get as far away from here as possible. Get away from him._ He sighed. _But I don't_ want _to get away from him._

Mulder had gone back to the hospital every day for the three days that Alex was there. Every time he went into the hospital, he told himself that he shouldn't be there, he should just go home. But he needed to see him, needed to know he would be okay.

Mulder chose to visit late at night, his uniform allowing him passage through the corridors of the hospital without prying questions. He also chose that time so he would not encounter the nurse that had grilled him the first night.

He silently walked up the long hallway of Alex's ward, the only sounds the hiss of oxygen and light snoring. The nurse at the station looked up from the bank of monitors and reports and scrutinized him for a moment before she smiled. Mulder smiled back and walked up to the young guard outside Alex's door. He had a heavy textbook in his hands titled _Fundamentals of Aircraft Engineering_. The young man looked up at Mulder and closed his textbook.

"Can I help you?"

"Time for a break."

"Excuse me?"

"It's time for you to take a break."

The young man nervously looked down the empty hallway then up at Mulder before standing. "I'm not supposed to leave my post."

Mulder smiled warmly at the young man, "Are you working all night then going to school during the day?"

The young man nodded, "Yeah, finals are next week."

"You must be pretty tired."

He shrugged, "You get used to it." Mulder noticed he had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

"So why don't you go get yourself an hour's sleep?"

He shook his head, "No. I was told not to leave. I don't want to get into trouble."

Mulder put his hand on the young man's shoulder, "You won't get into trouble, it's 3 in the morning, who's going to know? Look, I was a young CO like you once; I know what it's like to work hard. I just finished my shift and thought you could use a break."

The young man looked into Mulder's eyes, weighing the options. "I could really use some food about now. I haven't eaten since lunchtime."

"There's a diner across the street that's open all night. They've got great cheesesteaks."

Mulder could practically see the young's man mouth water at the mention of food. The guard licked his lips then nodded, "Okay. But I'm only going to be gone half an hour."

"Sounds good to me, take your time."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Mulder watched the young man gather his textbook and knapsack and walk quickly down the corridor to the elevators. He waited an agonizing minute to make sure he left before he went into the room. There was a weak light illuminating the room, and he could see Alex lying there, his face slack, lips slightly parted.

A lump rose in his throat as he moved closer to the prone form under the sheet. He reached down and clasped Alex's right hand in his, the left having tubes and needles running in and out of it. He leaned down and kissed Alex on the forehead, shocked to find the skin under his lips warm. _Why wouldn't he be warm? He's not dead!_

He snorted to himself then kissed Alex again, this time moving down to his cheek, nuzzling it against his own. He moved down and kissed Alex's ear, before he moved his arms around him in an embrace.

"Hey, babe, I was worried about you," Mulder whispered. He sighed and ran his hand up to squeeze Alex's shoulder.

"I don't know how it happened, Alex," he said to the unconscious man. "But I'm in love with you." Mulder sighed. "I thought...I thought it was just the sex, but..." Mulder pulled his head back and looked down at Alex, stroking his lips with his thumb.

"In the beginning, Alex, I wanted revenge. I hated you so much; I wanted to hurt you so bad. But you know, sometimes things change, and now I..." A tear slid down his cheek to land on Alex's arm. "I'm so sorry, Alex." Mulder leaned down and kissed his lips. "Please forgive me," he barely whispered.

Mulder reluctantly pulled away, lingering for a minute to caress Alex's hand before leaving the room, giving himself time to compose himself before the young guard came back.

Mulder was now at the gate that separated him from the long hallway leading to the medical ward and the rest of the prison. He straightened up as soon as he stepped through, his shoulders squared, senses awakening as he walked down the tier to the kitchen. There was something that happened when he stepped into this place, a change that occurred in him. He wasn't Fox Mulder, the sensitive brother who gave up everything to put his sister through medical school and cried every night for a year after his parents died. He wasn't the guy who helped the old lady across the street with her groceries. He wasn't the young man who had been in love with Michael and shared his passion for life. When Fox Mulder stepped through the door to this prison, he was a hard-ass, a force to be reckoned with. _I could add cruel rapist to that list._

He wandered into the kitchen, where Tagarelli stopped him. "Where the fuck is that Krycek? He ready to come back, or not?"

"He just got out of surgery the other day, Tagarelli. Give him another week or two."

"Week or two? Goddamn roaches are gonna take over the place by then. Fuckin' Irish, always fuckin' stuff up. Shoulda never let them in this fuckin' country." Tagarelli muttered more curses under his breath as he went back to supervise the kitchen.

Mulder went to stand in his familiar spot against the wall, arms folded against his chest. He had about 15 minutes before everyone started to file in for the evening meal, time to think about things.

When Mulder left the hospital the first night Krycek went in there, he had gone out to his car and actually cried for the first time in a long time. His emotions had gotten the better of him that day, and he couldn't help it. He barely remembered driving home, but somehow he ended up on his couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. He remembered wanting to call Mike, wanting to confess what had been happening between him and Alex, wanting Mike to come over and comfort him, make him feel better. He had the phone in his hand and was ready to dial a hundred times, but didn't. He remembered spitting the word _coward_ into the reflection of his livingroom window before flinging the phone across the room.

He didn't know how to feel about Krycek. The last time they were together, they made love; it wasn't just sex, or fucking anymore. They wanted each other, needed each other. Mulder sighed and quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind as the first inmates came through the door for dinner. He had to be sharp, and pining for Krycek right now wasn't going to help.

After his shift, Mulder checked in on Krycek again, feigning an interest in Pendrell's children and their activities. As Pendrell started talking about baseball games, ballet and soccer, he looked over at Krycek who was sleeping in a bed about 20 feet from him. Krycek's lips were parted slightly, his chest moving up and down with his breaths. His eyelashes were lush and thick, resting against his high, prominent cheekbones. His nose still showed some bruising, and there was a barely noticeable bump on the bridge. His hands were folded over each other, resting on his belly, long fingers begging to be held...

"Fox....Fox..."

"Hmmm...what?

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, soccer, right?"

"That was five minutes ago." Pendrell took Mulder aside where no one could hear them. "He's not worth it, Fox."

Mulder's eyes grew wide, "What?"

"Getting revenge for Michael. It's not worth it. You kill him, and you'll end up in here with the rest of them. And you know what they'll do to you in here, Fox."

"Kill him?"

"That's why you're always making excuses to come in here, isn't it? You want to avenge Jamie's death? Look, Fox, we all like Michael, and we all feel rotten for what happened, but that's no reason to mess up your career, your life over him. I know Michael's your best friend and he used to be...more, but forget about it, okay? Just ignore him, let him serve his sentence, and he'll be out of your hair in no time."

Mulder looked at Pendrell as if he was crazy before he started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm...I'm not going to kill him, Brian."

"Then why are you always in here staring at him?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Pendrell shook his head, confused. "While he's in this ward, he's under my care; I'm responsible for him. I don't care if you screw up your career - well, I do, but I can't live your life for you - but don't drag me down with you."

"Hey," Mulder grabbed his arm. "I promise, I'm not going to do anything. I just want to see if...if he's okay."

"You want to see if he's okay?"

"It's a very long and complicated story, Bri." Mulder lowered his head. Shit, getting busted by one of your friends was the worst.

Pendrell looked at Alex, then looked at Mulder; he knew something was up but really didn't want to know what it was. "Look. You can come in here and check him out, but if anything happens to him, I'm responsible..."

Look," Mulder cut him off. "I'm not going to do anything to him, honest. Hell, Brian, I'm the one who found him. If I wanted him dead, I just had to leave him there. He'd probably have died before anyone found him. I'm not going to hurt him."

"I have your word?"

"My solemn oath."

"Okay."

Alex spent the next couple of days drifting in and out of consciousness. The drugs they had given him knocked him out almost immediately. Alex tried in vain to stay awake, to fight the drowsiness, but he couldn't.

"Just lie back and enjoy the high, man," Paiva said to him as he fought again to keep his eyes open. He was determined to stay awake in case Mulder came to see him again. He would dream about Mulder, dream that he came up to his bed and stroked his hand with his fingers then ruffled his hair. It had to be a dream; there was no way Mulder would be allowed to do those things out in the open. He thought he saw him once, through his drug-induced haze, by the doorway, talking to the doctor, laughing about something. Alex's heart felt like it had snapped in two; he wanted to reach out and have Mulder come to his side, to hold him, to bring his lips down and kiss him.

He longed to feel Mulder's strong arms around him, holding him in a warm embrace. Alex had felt that warmth only once, and he longed to feel it again. Gradually, they reduced the dosage of his medication, but he still felt incredibly tired. At least the haze was wearing off, and he could string a thought together. He was dozing one afternoon when he swore he heard Mulder's voice. He forced himself to wake, his long lashes blinking open to reveal emerald green eyes that slowly focused. His heart skipped a beat. It was Mulder. He was talking to the doctor again and gesturing to Alex.

Alex watched the two men walk over to his bed, wondering what was up. Mulder had a really weird look on his face, and the doc seemed nervous. He didn't understand it. He could barely move, and the other guys who'd been patients had all been released over the last few days, leaving Alex as the only patient right now. Besides, with Mulder there, that left him with three COs to protect him if Alex suddenly had a superhuman recovery and tried to kill him.

The CO on the floor went to get dinner for him and the other guy after confirming that Mulder would stay until he got back. Someone was due to relieve him to do just that in about an hour, but since Mulder was there and he was hungry, he decided to go then. Mulder was delighted. He knew the other guy wouldn't be watching very closely with Alex being alone in here.

He and Brian stopped beside Alex's bed, staring down at him.

Alex stared back, still wondering what was going on. It was killing him to have Mulder so close and not to be able to touch him.

Mulder moved, raising a hand, and Pendrell flinched. "Fox," he started, looking nervously at his friend.

Hearing the doctor call Mulder by his first name, Alex frowned slightly. What was this guy to Mulder?

Mulder sighed, both at Brian's continued uneasiness and Alex's jealous reaction. This was getting complicated.

"Brian, I _told_ you I just want to see how he's doing. I'm still the same guy you've known since you were 12, the guy who plays with your kids, remember?" He thought that should reassure both of them.

Alex relaxed. Brian still looked uneasy, but Fox didn't care. He glanced over his shoulder casually and could see that the CO wasn't paying any attention. He took the chance and reached out to Alex, cupping his fingers along the stubbled curve of his jaw. Alex smiled and leaned into his hand, while Brian stood staring at them with his jaw hanging down.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah," Alex said. "I've been better, but the doc says I'm fine. I'll recover completely, no lasting damage."

"Good. You scared the hell out of me, you know. When I found you, I thought...I thought you were dead at first."

"God. I'm sorry."

Mulder shrugged. "I doubt you did it on purpose." His fingers moved over Alex's face, one stroking over his lips until they parted and Alex took it inside, sucking on it as Mulder had taught him to suck his cock. Mulder gasped, feeling himself harden. It was going to be a long couple of weeks till Alex was well again. With another quick glance toward the other CO, he took a huge risk and leaned down to drop a quick kiss on Alex's lips. Their mouths clung together for an instant, but Mulder forced himself to straighten up before they could get caught.

"Fox?" The shock was clear in Brian's voice.

Mulder grinned wryly at him. "I _told_ you I didn't want to hurt him. I just didn't mention what I _did_ want to do."

Alex snickered.

Pendrell glared at him. "But...Michael?"

Alex winced and shut his eyes. It seemed he was destined to meet every friend Michael and Jamie had ever had. Mulder held his hand comfortingly, out of sight of the other guard and anyone who might come in.

"I'll admit I started out wanting out to make him pay for what he did, but... Somewhere along the way, something changed. I dunno." Mulder shrugged.

Alex opened his eyes again to stare at Mulder searchingly. They'd never had the chance to talk after their one meeting when he came back. He'd finally accepted that he liked sex with Mulder, that he cared about him, but he had no idea how Mulder felt. Until this instant he hadn't been sure that Mulder wasn't still trying to punish him.

Mulder met his gaze calmly. "Later," he mouthed silently, and Alex nodded slightly. He was no more thrilled than Mulder to be having this conversation in front of Pendrell.

"Look, Fox," Brian started.

"I don't want to talk about it, Brian," Mulder stated with finality.

Brian didn't look happy, but he didn't say anything else.

Mulder just silently held Alex's hand until the other guard got back, then he left without a backward glance.

Two days later Krycek was released from the infirmary and sent back to his cell, under strict instructions to avoid any heavy exertion for another week. This meant that he was essentially confined to his cell with only books for company. He didn't have a new cellmate yet since Spender's death, but he knew it was only a matter of time.

Alex made his way back to his cell after nearly three weeks in the hospital and medical ward. He held his head high and squared his shoulders as he walked down the tier, not wanting to show any sort of weakness. Everyone stared at him, curious about this relative newcomer who had secured protection from two distinct sources in such a short time.

He got back to his cell, surprisingly grateful to be _home_. When he got back, however, he found a small man crawling on the floor. Alex stood in the doorway and looked up the tier, then back at the man. This was his cell; his stuff was still here.

"Who the hell are you?" Alex asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

The man crawling on the floor looked up, surprised, both fear and defiance showing in his eyes. He stood and leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms across his chest, mimicking Alex.

Alex looked at this short, balding man with glasses and wide mouth. He reminded him of a dwarf.

"Who the hell are _you_?" he retorted.

"This is my cell."

"Mine too."

Alex snorted at him, then moved over to make his bunk, the sheets, blanket and pillow waiting for him in a pile on the bare mattress.

"I got here yesterday," the short man offered. "How long have you been here?"

"Almost a year."

The man grunted and watched Alex make up his bunk, "So you're Krycek?"

"Yep." Alex finished making his bunk and sat down on the chair connected to the desk, not wanting to lie in bed anymore. The doctor had said to take it easy and rest for another week, but he was sick of resting.

The man looked Alex up and down; not checking him out, but sizing him up. "I'm Frohike."

"Congratulations," Alex offered. This guy was certainly weird; his glasses were as thick as the bottom of pop bottles, and he wore fingerless leather gloves. He leaned back and stretched out his long legs before him, deciding that he'd better find out what this little man had done to get himself into a place like this. "What are you in for?"

The man eyed him suspiciously, twitching with nervousness as he formed his answer, "What are _you_ in here for?"

"Manslaughter," Alex said, matter-of-factly. The word, while the truth, still shocked him slightly.

Frohike's eyes opened wide, "They put me in with a killer?"

"It was...an accident." Alex looked at the floor then back at his new cell-mate. "This is prison, you know. What did you expect?"

"I don't know; I've never been in jail before."

"That makes two of us. So are you going to tell me your story, or what?"

Frohike twitched again, looked around, then leaned in close, as if someone were listening. "Internet fraud," he whispered, before leaning back.

Alex laughed, "They sent you here for that?"

Frohike's eyes narrowed, "It was a serious crime, you know." Seemingly proud of his crime. He straightened up and continued. "I hacked into the DoD and FBI mainframes. I was trying to find proof that the government has known about the existence of extra terrestrials since the 50s. I was this close, I was downloading data onto my hard drive when BAM, the door breaks down and a SWAT team comes in."

Alex shook his head as he laughed again, deciding it would be a wise idea not to mention that he had almost been an FBI agent.

"They have one, you know? In a hangar in the Nevada desert." Frohike wiggled his eyebrows up and down at him."

"Have what?" Alex asked.

"A UFO. Near Roswell, New Mexico. That's where it landed in the '50s."

"Uh-huh?" Alex rolled his eyes.

"It's true. The government has been holding them for years, running tests on them, experimenting with them, trying to make a hybrid with a human being."

"Who?"

Frohike gave an exasperated sigh, "The _aliens_."

"I see," Alex said again, laughter in his voice.

Frohike threw up his hands, "I can't believe you've never heard of this! This is a very major thing, you know. The information I saw while I was downloading indicated that the government is working with the aliens to take over the world."

Alex was amused by this little man; he had never met anyone so animated before. "I've heard of it, but it's just a modern day fairy tale. Something to keep the people at the Weekly World News busy."

"No, no, no, my friend, it really happened, I have proof."

Alex yawned, "Proof?"

"I can't tell you about it, specifically, but one day I'm going to prove to the world that I'm right."

"Fascinating." Alex yawned again. He was suddenly very tired. He stood and took his shirt off then started on his shoes and pants.

Frohike backed away and raised his hands, "Whoa, buddy, I don't suck no dick."

"What?" Alex said, confused for a second before snorting. "Don't flatter yourself, I'm just taking a nap."

"And you have to do this naked?"

"Look, it's hot in here, I hate sleeping in my clothes, and besides, I still have my underwear on." Alex slowly climbed up onto the top bunk, wincing as he did.

"That's a nasty looking scar," Frohike observed.

"Yeah, well, don't piss anyone off in this place, and you won't get one." Alex settled on his bunk and put his hands under his head, listening to the strange little man scurrying around on the floor again as he drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Alex was aware of a hand shaking him. He awoke with a start, ready to defend himself.

"Hey, buddy, take it easy. I just wanted to tell you that it's time for dinner."

Alex flopped back onto his pillow and brought his hands up to rub the sleep from his eyes. He was rather hungry. He slipped off of his bunk, Frohike looking at him warily. Alex started to get dressed.

"What were you doing on the floor?" Alex asked.

Frohike looked at him, suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"You were crawling on the floor this afternoon."

"I was?"

Alex sighed, "Look, if we're going to be stuck in this cell together, we're going to have to communicate. This isn't Jeopardy; you don't have to answer in the form of a question."

Frohike crossed his arms across his chest again. "How do I know I can trust you?

Alex rolled his eyes as he zipped his pants. He was going to have to introduce this Frohike character to Ralph Morrison in the kitchen. Ralph had once told Alex that if he thought aliens were ever reading his mind, he should put tinfoil on his head to block the transmissions. He looked down at the dwarf-like man, "Who _else_ are you going to trust in here?"

Alex pulled his shirt slowly over his head, careful not to stretch too much as he still hurt. He toed on his shoes and started down the tier to the cafeteria, his new friend following behind, almost running to keep up with Alex's long strides.

"Data port," Frohike suddenly said.

"Data port?"

"Yeah, you know, like a phone line, for a modem."

"I don't think we have any of those."

"I know, I'm going to put one in."

Alex laughed, "You can't just call up AT&T and ask them to install a phone line in Cell number 628, block A."

"I know that; I'm going to do it myself."

Alex stopped and looked down at this crazy little man who wore an expression of true sincerity. "How the hell are you going to do that?"

"Run a cable from the payphones."

Alex laughed again, calming down quickly to avoid any looks. He turned and started walking again, "You're nuts."

"No, I'm not. I'm going to do it. A modem cable, a palmtop, and I'm hacking my way to freedom."

"Yeah, well, send me a postcard from Mars."

They had just reached the dining hall, and it felt weird to Alex to come in this way with everyone else. He was usually working, watching everyone from the other side.

Alex got his food and sat down, Frohike now silent about his plans to wire their cell with other people around them that could hear. He had just begun to dig into his spaghetti when he had the sensation of being watched. Alex looked up into an intense hazel and gold gaze meeting his own. His heart skipped a beat as he and Mulder stared at each other. His groin immediately began to stir as well. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to jump up and run to his lover.

He stared at Mulder, noticing that he was trying to hold back a smile. Mulder licked his lips, looked away, took a breath then looked back. Alex remained expressionless. Mulder, now calm after his deep breath, mimicked Alex's stoic stare. Alex looked down then up at Mulder through his eyelashes, trying to look sexy. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. Alex jumped as it clamped down hard.

"Krycek, you commie bastard, you coming back to work, or what?"

He looked up into the face of Vince Tagarelli, who wore a frown on his face. A frown was a good thing; if he was smiling, you were in real trouble. Alex leaned back in his chair and smiled at the Italian mob boss.

"Doc says I gotta wait a week."

"Fuck, Krycek. You know what kinda shit you put me through already?"

"Yeah, I heard."

"So I gotta live with these fuck-ups for another week?"

"Looks that way."

"Goddamn it." Tagarelli put his hands on his hips then left in a huff.

Krycek looked over at Frohike, who had a stunned look on his face. "What?" Alex asked, putting a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth. He flashed his eyes up to Mulder, who was still staring at him. Alex could feel his cock swell a bit more, pressing into the fabric of his underwear. He turned his attention back to the strange little man sitting across from him. He had to calm down. Dinnertime was almost over, and he couldn't walk through the dining hall with a hard-on in his pants.

'That was Vince Tagarelli!"

"Yeah, so?"

"He's number two in the Provenzano cartel. He 's a very powerful man." Frohike nervously looked around to see if anyone was listening then leaned in close, "Is he a friend of yours?"

"I work for him, here in the kitchen."

Frohike sat back in his seat to finish his dinner, "Shit, remind me never to piss you off."

Alex smirked at the remark and flashed his gaze back up to Mulder again. Mulder bit his lower lip and licked it then closed his eyes slightly. Alex nearly groaned out loud as that simple act shot a bolt of lightning down to his cock. He frowned at Mulder, who raised his eyebrows and let the barest smirk form on his lips.

_Bastard. He knows exactly what he's doing to me._

Alex tried to finish his dinner but wasn't very hungry anymore. He was suddenly tired again as well. He stood, taking his tray and giving Mulder one more seductive look before he ditched his tray and left the hall. He walked back to his cell, stripped and got into bed, not noticing Frohike was following him like a little puppy dog.

He lay there, on his back, wishing he could roll over. He had never felt this tired before. Then again, he had never recovered from major surgery before. He closed his eyes and dreamed of Fox and him in a large, soft bed, making love. The fingers running down to pinch and pull on his nipples felt real. The tongue in his mouth also felt real. He swore he could feel it probing every inch of his moist interior, over his teeth, then pulling away. Lips kissed his neck and down as hands moved down his body, caressing his now scarred flesh with gentle touches. The hands went lower, to caress his balls and stroke his cock lightly. He could feel the fingers grip him as he thrust his hips up, trying to create more friction. The touch was fading, getting lighter. He heard himself whimper and moan, then he woke up.

It must have been the middle of the night because the lights were out and Frohike was snoring below him. He was covered in sweat, and his cock was throbbing, aching to be touched. He moved his hand down and brought himself off with a few practiced strokes. He then lay there, letting his breathing calm down, listening to his new cell-mate snore.

Alex made a move to jump down off of his bunk to wash himself but instead, brought his hand up to his mouth, where he licked himself clean, before settling back down to sleep.

All week, Alex rested in his cell, mostly sleeping, except for forays to the medical center for his doses of Tylenol and his trips to the dining hall for food and Mulder.

Every meal, Mulder was there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of him, staring at Alex. Every meal, Alex was driven into a frenzy by Mulder's stares and actions. The simple act of Mulder dragging his tongue across his lower lip made Alex's cock harden. He'd stare at the moisture that clung to the pink skin and dig his nails into the palm of his hand to keep from moaning out loud.

The last time Mulder had kissed him with those soft lips was in the prison hospital, the terrified doctor looking around nervously. Alex had wanted to pull Mulder down to him and have him crawl in bed with him and hold him that day. Unfortunately, with Alex condemned to bed-rest for the rest of the week, it was going to be agonizing days before he felt those strong arms again.

At night, he had to relieve himself quietly in his bunk, careful not to let his new cell-mate hear him. He just hoped Mulder was going through the same agony he was; he didn't want to be going through this frustration alone. 

It was Alex's first day back on the job since he was injured, and he'd been surprised when the Italians actually greeted him when he came in. It was amazing the power garbage had to make a man popular. He guessed he'd better never try to get off the garbage detail, or there might be a riot.

He did his job all day long, grateful to finally have something to do again. Another day or two stuck in that cell and he'd have gone nuts. His heart started beating faster when dinner was over and it was time to start the clean up. If anyone had ever told him that he'd look forward to taking garbage out, he'd have suggested a good psychiatrist. But he couldn't wait to be alone with Mulder. Since it was raining heavily, he assumed that Mulder would wait until he had to do the recycling. That would mean waiting a little longer, but since the others left while that was being done, they would have as long as they wanted. It was worth the wait.

Alex sighed and glanced at the clock, willing it to move faster. Finally, finally, everything was done, and the other prisoners went back to their cells while Mulder remained to watch Krycek until he finished the recycling. He followed the younger man into the recycling room, leaning back against the wall and watching him as he disposed of everything. As soon as he was done, Mulder pushed away from the wall, moving toward him.

Alex stood his ground, watching Mulder come closer, meeting his eyes fearlessly for a change. He could feel himself growing aroused as Mulder got closer, knowing what was to come.

Mulder stopped in front of him, stroking a finger over his cheek. Alex turned into the touch, practically purring, like a cat being petted. Mulder took the final step that brought him against Alex and wrapped his arms around him as he kissed him.

Alex sighed into Mulder's mouth as he felt their tongues move together. He clung to Mulder desperately, tasting the other man, exploring every warm crevice while Mulder caressed his body, gradually undressing him. Alex suddenly realized that his shirt was gone and his slacks down around his ankles, only needing him to kick off his shoes and step out of them to leave him completely naked. He stared into Mulder's eyes as he did, then stood proudly nude before the fully clothed man. Whatever happened next was up to Mulder.

Mulder stepped back to get a good look at... his lover. He might as well admit it. He and Alex Krycek were lovers. He maintained eye contact while he removed his clothes, watching Alex watch him, letting him look his fill for a change.

They moved together again, their erections pressing together as they kissed again. Alex couldn't believe how good it felt to be able to touch Mulder, to stroke him, and to feel himself being touched with affection.

"God, Mulder, what are we doing?" Alex moaned.

Mulder sighed, holding him tightly. "I don't know. I know this is insane, but I don't want to stop." He looked away, then met Alex's eyes miserably. "Unless you do? I know I didn't give you much of a choice at first, but..."

Alex cut his words off with another kiss. "Look, I admit I hated you for a long time. And I wouldn't recommend this as a way to start a relationship, but I'd like a chance to see if we can make it work."

Mulder sighed. "I'd like that too. But you know that we can't let anyone know about this? I'd lose my job, and god knows what would happen to you." Alex nodded. "What about the doc? You didn't try to hide it from him."

"No, I know I shouldn't have done that, but I'd been so worried about you. Besides, Brian's been a friend since we were kids; he won't blow the whistle on me."

"Will he tell Michael though? If he's his friend too..."

"No, he'll leave it up to me. He's more my friend than Mike's anyway. We all grew up together, and we're friends, but Brian's never been quite comfortable with us being gay. Well, actually I'm bi, but most of my relationships have been with men. Anyhow, like I said, Brian's a bit uneasy with the whole thing. Must be the Catholic in him. I don't know why he can handle it better with me, but he does. I don't even think he keeps in touch with Mike."

Alex nodded and let it go. If he and Mulder were still together when he got out of this hellhole, then they could worry about his friend's reaction to seeing them together. But considering that he had at least a couple years before he'd even be eligible for parole, it wasn't worth worrying about yet.

He sank down to his knees, lightly lapping at the beads of moisture on the tip of Mulder's cock, refamiliarizing himself with the other man's taste after nearly a month. He hadn't done this since before Mulder's vacation, and he'd missed it. He took the head into his mouth, sucking lightly while his tongue played over the surface, loving the sounds of Mulder's moans above him. He gradually took more in until Mulder's entire length was in his mouth, and he tugged on the man's hips, trying to get him to fuck his mouth.

But Mulder pulled away and dropped to his own knees, kissing Alex again and tasting himself in the younger man's mouth. Alex finally pulled away from the kiss, only to kiss his way down Mulder's throat, then down to his chest where he nibbled on the aroused nipples. He nipped at Mulder's chest, letting his teeth sink into the warm flesh for an instant before releasing it so he could move on. Mulder's hand on the back of his head stopped him, pressing his mouth back against his chest.

"Do it, mark me. As long as my clothes will cover it, you can leave marks on me."

Alex groaned at the thought, opening his mouth again and sinking his teeth into the muscle before him. He heard Mulder's groan of pain, but he could also feel the man's erection digging into his hip, so he knew Mulder liked it. He could taste blood in his mouth when he released Mulder, and he licked over the bite mark he'd left, sucking on it till a large bruise blossomed around it. It made him feel a little like Mulder belonged to him.

"Mulder?"

"Fox."

"Huh?" Alex looked at him blankly.

"Fox. It's my name."

"Oh." A pause. "You want me to call you Fox?"

"Yeah. That's what lovers do."

"Are we lovers?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Fox. Fox." Alex repeated it a few times, trying it on for size. "I like it. It fits you."

" _You_ fit me."

Alex whimpered and started to turn around so he could get down on all fours, but Mulder stopped him. "Not this time, Alex. I want to see you when I take you tonight."

Alex stared back blankly, unable to imagine how that would work. Fox grinned, looking forward to teaching him something new, something he'd never associate with pain or rape.

"Lie down, Alex, flat on your back."

Alex still looked confused but did as he was told, looking up at Mulder trustingly. Mulder leaned down to lick Alex's throat, slowly working his way down, nibbling on his nipples gently, smiling when Alex gasped and groaned under his touch. He had to keep reminding himself that he couldn't leave any marks on Alex, no matter how much he wanted to.

He forced himself to move on, taking Alex's cock into his mouth for a moment while he pulled the lube out of his pants pocket so he could prepare Alex. He was really going to enjoy seeing the pleasure on Alex's face this time, seeing those green eyes go blind with passion. He kept sucking Alex as he slid one slick finger inside him, then two, feeling the younger man almost immediately start to screw himself back on his fingers, already primed for the pleasure.

"Please, Fox, I need..." Alex was nearly sobbing.

"I know, baby, I know what you need," Mulder soothed, stroking the cock he'd allowed to slide out of his mouth.

He sat up on his heels as he stroked the slick over his own cock, then raised Alex's ass to rest on his lap. But Alex still wasn't properly positioned, having no idea what to do with his legs to make the entry easier, so Fox hooked his ankles over his shoulders. He paused for a moment, admiring the finely made body of his lover, stroking his beautiful erection, until Alex's increasingly frantic whimpers warned him that it was time to move on.

Mulder positioned himself at Alex's entrance, just pressing against the tight ring of muscle, but making no attempt to slide inside. He looked into Alex's eyes, watching the frustration cloud his face. Alex squirmed, trying to entice Mulder to take him, finally snarling up at the older man in frustrated rage.

"Goddamnit, _fuck_ me!"

And Mulder did. He slid inside Alex's yearning body in a long, smooth glide, watching the pleasure wash over Alex. He started a slow, gently rhythm, knowing it was exactly what Alex didn't want, and he couldn't prevent a joyful laugh when Alex tried to hurry him. He shifted position so he was stretched out over Alex, covering him like a blanket, and he kissed him, languidly flicking his tongue in and out of his mouth as he stroked into his ass. Alex was going wild under him and barely remembered not to bite Mulder's lip.

The man was driving him insane. He'd never felt anything like this before. It felt so good, felt like Fox was claiming him, but it wasn't enough. He wanted, needed, more.

"Fox, please!" he begged.

Mulder grinned, then increased his pace, thrusting harder and faster. He threw his head back, groaning as he came deep inside Alex, filling him with his seed. Alex moaned pitifully as the incredible sensations stopped, leaving him still wanting. He looked up at Fox desperately, wondering if it had all been a lie, if this was his punishment.

"Trust me, baby," Fox urged again, licking at his lips. Mulder pulled out of Alex and gently lowered his legs to the ground, wondering if he realized that every breath was a sob. He grabbed the lube again, holding it up where Alex could see it, smiling at the expression of confusion on the younger man's face. Then he squeezed out a glob onto his fingers and reached behind himself, fingering his own ass, as Alex's eyes widened. Even though he'd just come, it felt good, and Mulder could feel a faint twinge of interest from his cock.

Alex watched in fascination as Fox, still kneeling between his legs, pleasured himself with his own fingers in his ass. He prayed that this meant what he thought it did. Then Mulder reached for his cock, spreading the gel over him, and he couldn't help thrusting up into that hand. He'd never in his life been this aroused. He thought he'd die if he didn't get some relief.

Mulder grinned down at him and moved over him, straddling his waist so his rampant cock pressed between Mulder's cheeks. Alex reached up, hands moving over his lover, catching at his nipples and pinching them so Fox gasped with pleasure. Then it was Alex's turn to gasp as Fox rose up, then sank down on his cock, slowly filling himself with Alex. He had to pause several times to allow his body to adjust to the presence inside him, but finally he found himself sitting in the cradle of Alex's pelvis, the entire length of his cock buried inside him. Both men breathed heavily, then Mulder started to move. He rose up, nearly allowing Alex to slip out of him, then sank back down. He repeated the action over and over again, gradually moving faster. His own cock was hard again, amazingly so considering how recently he'd come, but everything about fucking Alex was amazing.

He groaned when he felt a hand on his cock, and looking down, he watched Alex's hand stroke him, giving him exactly what he needed. He began to move ever faster, caught up in his own pleasure, but still aware of the man beneath him. Alex tried to help him, catching his rhythm and thrusting up into him, arching under him until his whole body stiffened and he came deep inside Mulder. Even as he came, he continued stroking Mulder, who came for the second time only moments after he did.

Mulder remained where he was for a few moments while he caught his breath, then reluctantly disengaged from Alex and stretched out beside him on their bed of cardboard. He smiled when Alex rolled toward him, and he wrapped an arm around the younger man's waist, pulling him close, enjoying these few moments of peaceful togetherness. He dropped a kiss on the top of the sable head nestled against his shoulder. They remained in each other's arms for a few minutes before they had to get up and get dressed to return Alex to his cell.

Once clothed, they gravitated back into each other's arms for a final kiss and embrace before going back to their normal lives.

Alex clung to Fox fearfully. "So what happens now?"

Fox sighed. "Nothing, Alex. We just have to continue on till you get out of here, then we can see what happens."

"You really think we can do this?"

"I don't think we have a choice." With another gentle kiss, Mulder motioned Alex to leave the room and followed him out.

The next day, Mulder had just arrived for his shift when he was summoned to Skinner's office. Panic swept through him as he walked down the tier and up the stairs to meet his boss. What was this about? Did someone see him and Alex together? Did someone hear them? He started to sweat as he raised his hand to knock on the door. He knocked twice and awaited his fate.

"Enter!" the gruff voice bellowed from inside the office.

Mulder gripped the door handle, palms sweating, and turned it, letting himself into the office, his mouth suddenly dry. "You wanted to see me, sir?" Mulder croaked, immediately clearing his throat.

Skinner looked up at Mulder, his stony expression unchanging. He motioned to the chair in front of him. "Have a seat."

Mulder sat down and crossed then uncrossed his legs. Skinner set aside the file he was working on and smiled at Mulder. Mulder sat still and fought the incredible desire to fidget.

"Officer Mulder, we're going to rotate staff again." Skinner threw his pen on his desk and leaned forward before he continued. "The current staff rotation isn't performing satisfactorily."

Mulder frowned, "I thought I was doing a good job in the kitchen, handling Tagarelli? There hasn't been a fight since I got there. I get along with the other COs; what's the problem?"

"Relax, it's not you; you're doing a great job; you're one of the best COs we have. The problem is, we need you elsewhere. D block hasn't been the same since you rotated out of there. Last week a guard got slashed; the cons are spitting on the COs there is lack of control. Those cons seem to respect you, or at least listen to you. We want you to rotate back."

Mulder sat there with a stunned expression on his face. He thought he was in trouble, and then this came along. Mulder thought of his old stomping ground; he liked it there, liked the crew he worked with. There was minimal bullshit and interaction with the cons there - most of them were confined to their cells for 22 hours a day.

"We'd like you to head up the crew there." Skinner proposed.

Mulder's jaw nearly hit the floor. "Are you offering me a promotion, sir?"

"You'd be supervisor in that block. You'd get a raise, a better parking spot and more responsibility. What do you say?"

A million things ran through Mulder's mind. He had been waiting for an opportunity like this for years; he'd be a fool not to take it. It was just too bad that he hadn't gotten promoted five years ago when Sam needed the money the most. He looked up at Skinner and smiled, "Yes, that sounds wonderful."

Skinner stood up and offered his hand to Mulder. "How does Monday sound?"

"Sounds great." Mulder shook Skinner's hand before he turned to leave. He had just gotten outside the door when a thought ran through his mind _Alex_. Mulder gripped the wall; how the hell could he forget about Alex? What did he just do? Mulder nearly groaned out loud as he walked down the tier to the dining hall. _Shit!_ It was the end of the week, too. He was off for the next two days; that meant that this would be their last time together until... _until he gets paroled._ Mulder sighed, then turned down the corridor to go back to the change room.

Alex looked at his watch, then looked out into the dining hall. He wondered where Mulder was; he wasn't usually late. Finally, about half an hour later, he saw the tall, golden-browned haired man saunter through the crowd. Alex's insides fluttered, as they often did when he saw his lover. _Lover._ Alex nearly smiled to himself when he said the word. He had never had a _lover_ before.

"Krycek, quit daydreaming and get back to work!" Tagarelli screamed at him.

Alex quickly jumped to action. It was busy, as usual, so the time flew by as he did his duties, wanting his shift to be over quickly. Finally, the other staff left, and it was time to sort the recycling. He went into the room and got to work, sorting glass from plastic, breaking down the boxes. Finally, Mulder came in and leaned against the wall. Alex's face flushed and his heart pounded as he quickly worked to get the recycling out of the way so they could be alone. Finally, he was finished, and he started to lay the cardboard down on the floor when Mulder spoke.

"Leave it, come here."

Alex walked over to Mulder as Mulder closed and locked the door. Alex noticed Mulder's eyes were red, as if he were holding back tears.

"Fox? What's wrong? You're scaring me."

Mulder stared at him miserably. He had no idea how to tell Alex that after raping him, then falling in love with him, now he was leaving him. _God, I couldn't fuck with his mind more if I was still trying!_

"Fox!" Alex sounded really worried now.

Mulder took a deep breath. "I got a promotion."

Alex waited, then when he didn't seem about to add anything, said, "But that's a good thing. Isn't it?"

"To supervisor in D block. Starting Monday."

Dead silence. It lasted so long that Mulder finally forced his eyes up to meet Alex's, finding them fixed on him in shock, tears swimming in their depths. He reached out to him, but Alex flinched away from him.

"Alex..."

"Don't." Alex swore and turned away, pounding a fist against the wall. "Just don't. Did you enjoy making me believe you? Huh, _Fox_?" he sneered as he faced Mulder again. "I guess raping me wasn't enough for you; you wanted me complicit in my own punishment. How did it go, _Fox_? Did you decide that a gaybasher deserved to be fucked over, to think that someone actually loved me just so you could pull the rug out from under me?"

The naked pain in Alex's voice finally roused Mulder from his shock at the younger man's misinterpretation. "No! Alex, no. I don't want to leave you, and I'll find some way to see you sometimes." _Though god knows how._ "But this promotion, it's what I've always wanted. It shows that I'm not just some hack even if I only have a high school education. They trust me; they're giving me more responsibility. I couldn't say no to that! But I haven't been lying to you, baby, I _love_ you." He stopped, shocked by what he'd just said. _When the hell did that happen? Fuck, being his lover and caring about him was bad enough, now I'm in love with him? Mike is_ not _going to be happy._ He shook his head slightly, frowning.

"I love you," he repeated more strongly, staring into Alex's eyes. "But I need this for _me_."

Before he could say more, Alex's fingers were lying across his lips. "Shhh, Fox. I understand. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. Of course you have to take this promotion." _Even if I have no fucking idea how I'm going to survive in this place knowing you're so close but I can't see you or touch you. Kinda makes me believe in divine retribution._

Mulder winced, having a pretty good idea of how Alex felt. He pulled the other man into his arms, burying his face in the silky hair when Alex lowered his head to his shoulder. His hands stroked over the younger man's back, at first comfortingly but gradually turning to caresses designed to arouse. He didn't even notice the change until he realized that Alex was squirming against him, rubbing his erection against Mulder's thigh.

A lustful grin flickered across Mulder's face as he reached down to cup Alex's ass and pull him closer. A faint moan from Alex was his reward. But feeling Alex through the barriers of cloth wasn't enough; he needed the warm contact of skin against skin. He unfastened the younger man's slacks and pushed the waistband of his briefs down, freeing his cock. Mulder licked his lips when he saw that the head was already covered with droplets of moisture. Unable to resist, he dropped to his knees, fingers digging into Alex's hips, and licked the ruddy shaft clean, then slid his lips over the tip. As he sucked lightly, he raised his eyes to Alex's face, seeing the head thrown back in pleasure and the lower lip caught between strong, white teeth to hold back his moans of pleasure.

_Someday,_ Mulder promised himself, _someday, I'm going to have you where we don't have to worry about other people, and I'm going to make you scream with pleasure until your voice gives out._

In the meantime, he'd settle for making Alex's knees give way under him. He chuckled around the sensitive flesh in his mouth when he saw that Alex now had a fist stuffed in his mouth to muffle his cries. Alex shuddered at the sensation of Mulder's laughter on his cock, a faint whimper escaping him, and he thrust forward into Mulder's mouth. Mulder took him deeper, deeper than Alex had ever felt before.

He looked down, meeting Mulder's eyes, seeing Fox watching him, seeing himself disappear into that sensual mouth, and it was too much for him. The next stroke of Mulder's tongue over his shaft pushed him over the edge, and he convulsed as he filled Mulder's mouth, groaning as the pleasure shot through him. He leaned over Mulder, barely staying on his feet by clutching at his shoulder.

Mulder watched him with a grin, licking his lips while Alex stared at the movement of his tongue as he sank to the floor. Never taking his eyes from the prone man, Mulder rose to his feet and removed his clothing, not tearing it off, but not stripping for Alex to watch either; rather he undressed quickly and efficiently, simply removing an impediment to his pleasure. Lying at his feet, Alex squirmed out of his own clothes and waited, his legs spread wide in invitation. Mulder barely restrained a gasp at his sheer beauty.

As Mulder knelt back down, Alex suddenly made a decision and rolled over onto his belly, pushing up onto all fours. He arched his back and leaned down, bending his arms so he could rest his head on his crossed wrists. This time, Mulder couldn't prevent the gasp from escaping him. Alex glanced over his shoulder, meeting Fox's eyes directly.

"Take me, Fox, I want you to. Who knows when we'll be able to see each other again? Claim me, Fox. I want to, need to, know that we belong to each other."

Fox's eyes closed for an instant, then opened again to give Alex a look full of love. "No matter what, no matter how long it is till we can be together again, remember that I love you." Suddenly he laughed. "If I could fall in love with you despite everything, you can be sure that's not going to change anytime soon."

Alex had to laugh too. "That's all very nice, Fox, and I'm very happy to hear it, but would you mind showing me now?" He wriggled his ass at his lover for emphasis.

Mulder chuckled, nipping unexpectedly at the firm cheeks, surprising a yelp out of Alex. Fox grabbed the lube he had put down nearby and quickly stroked some onto himself and into Alex, preparing them quickly. He couldn't wait any longer, and from the way Alex was moving back onto his fingers, he didn't want to wait either. He replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding in until his balls rested against the other man's ass, gasping at the pleasurable tightness of this man who was his.

Alex groaned when he took Fox inside himself, feeling both possessed and the possessor. He pushed back, seeking to take him even deeper, feeling joined to him in a way he'd never thought possible. Weird as it sounded, even to him, he was almost grateful that he'd ended up in prison and been raped. _What the fuck am I thinking?_ Then he looked over his shoulder at Fox and remembered why. No matter how awful everything had been, he was glad to have Fox now. And speaking of having Fox now... He clenched his ass, pleased at the sound of pleasure he drew from Mulder.

Mulder slid his arms under Alex's arms and over his shoulders, pulling him upright and settling him on his lap as they knelt, Fox embedded deep inside Alex. Mulder started moving his hips while he stroked Alex's cock, and Alex caught his rhythm, arching and twisting on his lap. Mulder seized a fistful of Alex's hair, pulling his head back and around so he could kiss him as they continued to move together. Alex cried his pleasure into Mulder's mouth as he felt his lover explode inside him, making him come again.

Still kissing, they sank down to lie on their sides, spooned together until Mulder reluctantly withdrew a few minutes later. When he did, Alex rolled over to face him, pillowing his head on Mulder's shoulder once the older man stretched out on his back. They lay together, holding on to one another as long as they could before cleaning up and dressing to take Alex back to his cell.

Before they left the room, Mulder stopped Alex with a hand on his shoulder. Alex halted but didn't look back. "I _will_ find some way to make this work, Alex. Trust me."

Alex nodded silently, not saying a word as they went to his cell and Mulder left him there. He watched the guard walk away, trying not to be obvious, then crawled into his bunk. He turned to face the wall, a single tear rolling down his face.


	4. Correspondence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of sight, but never out of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co written with Nicole S. Originally posted July 1999.

Alex sat back down on his bunk after mail call, surprised to have gotten a letter. His parents faithfully sent him one every week, but he'd already gotten that one this week. Besides, he didn't recognize the writing.

He tore the envelope open, curious to see who would be writing to him. As soon as he saw the opening, his breath grew short, and he glanced around to make sure Frohike was nowhere nearby. He wanted privacy to read this.

> _June 27_
> 
> Baby,
> 
> I miss you so much. It seems like forever since I saw you, since I touched and tasted you. I don't know how I'm going to survive until you get out and I can hold you again. Letters aren't enough, but they're going to have to keep us going until we can see each other again. You can write me at the PO box in the return address.
> 
> I fall asleep at night remembering how you feel and taste, and I wake up wanting you. God, Alex, how did you worm your way into my heart? I feel like something's missing every minute I'm not with you. I love you so much, and I can't imagine my life without you in it now.
> 
> I told my sister about you last weekend, everything, even the stuff about what I did to you at first. I hope you don't mind, baby, but I had to. She and I have always been open with each other, and I wanted her to understand. You'll be happy to know that once I explained to her, she took your side. She basically tore strips off me for what I did, and she thinks you're pretty amazing to put up with me at all, never mind getting past all that. I won't lie to you; she's not real happy about what you did to end up in prison, but when I said I loved you, she said that you had to be pretty special. We'll work it all out, baby. We have to. She's all the family I have, and I need you too.
> 
> Did I mention that I've been dreaming about you? I have to change my sheets every morning. God, I wish you were here with me. I want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up with you still holding me. I want to see your beautiful face on my pillow and be able to kiss you awake. That's all I want for the rest of my life. I want to be able to love you, to walk down a street holding your hand, to complain about basketball scores and plan vacations, all the things that other couples do. Couples. God, that sounds so weird. I expected to spend my life alone. I never expected to find you. And I sure as hell never expected to find love the way we met. I swear I'll spend the rest of my life making that up to you.
> 
> I gotta go now, baby; it's time for work. Think of me and write soon. I need to know that you haven't changed your mind.
> 
> _I love you._

Alex clutched the letter tightly, reading and rereading it. Mulder had said he cared, but this was more than he ever expected. For him to say he wanted to make it up to him about the rapes, he must really mean it when he said he loved him. And he told his sister? Alex had to blink back tears of joy.

_Fox Mulder loves me._ He liked the sound of it.

He carefully folded up the letter and slid it back into the envelope before putting it away with his few personal possessions. He got out some paper and a pen and sat down to write his reply.

> _July 1_
> 
> Lover:
> 
> Your letter came as quite a surprise to me today. I never expected to speak to you again. I thought that once you had been transferred, that would be the end of it, you would forget about me and move on. I'm glad you didn't forget about me, baby, I can't forget about you. You're constantly in my thoughts, in my dreams, sticky sheets are a constant problem as well.
> 
> I'm shocked that you decided to tell your sister about us. That must have been a hard thing to do. I'm anxious to meet her when...this is hard...when I get out of here.
> 
> Did you mean it when you said you loved me? Did you mean it when you said we are going to be together forever? Because if you're not I need to be in here for the rest of my life. I couldn't leave here and know that I couldn't be with you.
> 
> I saw you the other day, just for a second. You were delivering an envelope to another guard on my cell-block then left right away. I was coming back from my shift in the kitchen. You didn't see me, but that brief time that I saw you made me want you more than I wanted anything in my life. I don't know how long I can stand to be apart from you, from kissing your sweet lips and caressing your body.
> 
> I went into our place yesterday and just sat there. I don't know how long it was, but Tagarelli started yelling at me to get back to work, so it must have been a long time. I could see you there, lying on your back while I rode you, your neck arched back in ecstasy. God, this is hard, I want you right now.
> 
> I should go, my cell-mate is due back any minute from his shift in the factory. I want to post this today so you get this as soon as possible.
> 
> _I love you._

Alex looked down at the piece of paper that he had just written on. Tears were still fresh in his eyes as he reread the document. He chewed on the top of the pen, wishing he were chewing on Mulder's lower lip. He frowned, he couldn't send this; it had information in there that would certainly fuck up Mulder's career if the hacks got hold of it. No, he would have to take the paragraph that said he saw him out of there.

Alex sighed as he tore up the first letter into tiny pieces and flushed it down the toilet. No one said this was going to be easy, and keeping their names and specific details of their life out of their correspondence was not going to make it any easier.

> _July 6_
> 
> Babe,
> 
> God, I hated this fucking holiday for making me wait to get your letter. I was so afraid that you wouldn't write back.
> 
> I can't believe you thought I wouldn't still want you now. I thought we settled that the last time we saw each other. I love you, Alex, nothing's ever going to change that. I know it's hard after the things I've done to you, but please trust me.
> 
> My sister came up to visit me for the 4th, and I had a hell of a time talking her out of going to visit you. She wants to meet you so badly, but I told her that you wouldn't want to meet her for the first time in prison. God, I wish you could have been here with us. Most of my life holidays have just been me and her, but this time it felt like something was missing. And it was, you were.
> 
> I wake up every morning reaching for you. Which is strange when you think that we've never spent an entire night together, but I know you should be there beside me. I don't even have anything that smells like you, and I keep trying to find you. I sometimes can't believe how much I love you. And I really can't believe you love me.
> 
> I was wondering, what are you going to tell your parents about us when you get out? Or are you going to tell them? I'll understand if you don't want to. I know you never expected to get involved with another man. But yes, to answer your question, I love you and I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. How could I not? I feel incredibly lucky to have found you.
> 
> You're so beautiful, baby, I could just look at you for hours. Well, okay, maybe I couldn't just look without touching (picture me grinning here). You taste so damn good too. I could get drunk on you. Whoa, that did it. I have to take care of things before I get ready for work. Think about me, hot and hard and ready for you.
> 
> _Yours._

Alex sat at his tiny desk and reread the last paragraph again. God, how could he get so hard just from reading a letter? _It's so easy when I think of him._ Alex sat back on the little stool and closed his eyes. He didn't have time to take care of himself right now; Frohike would be back soon. Lights out wasn't that far off; he'd have to wait until then. Thank god Frohike slept like the dead and didn't hear him at night as he jerked off.

Alex got off the stool, put the letter in his pocket and went to lie on his bunk. He tried to quell the raging hard on in his chinos, but it was not an easy task. He couldn't be standing in front of his cell, ready for count, in this condition; he really did need to calm down. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Fox, looking down at him as he made love to him. Beads of sweat were on his lower lip, and his eyes were half closed as he thrust into him. Alex swore he could hear and smell him...if he moved his head up, he could just lick the sweat off of his neck...

Alex opened his eyes; this was not helping at all. He dug the letter out of his pocket. He was happy that Fox was so close to his sister. A twinge of jealousy ran through Alex; he was an only child, and a lonely one at that. What he wouldn't have given for a brother or a sister when he was growing up.

He read the letter over and over, the throbbing starting to subside in his pants. The one thing that bothered him was the paragraph about his parents. Alex was such a great hope for his parents, the best schools, the most expensive clothes, as many toys as he wanted. When he had gotten arrested, his father had hired the best lawyers to defend him. His parents were still in denial that he was in prison. He suspected they thought he was away at some Country Club for a few years. His mother especially didn't want to admit her son was in prison. Every letter she asked him how the weather was and if he needed any spending money.

His father wasn't blocking Alex's situation as much as his mother was. He had told him that when he got out, he could come work for him, or work for one of his friends. _Don't worry, Alex. I'll take care of everything._ That's what his father was good at, taking care of things. That was a constant problem for Alex; he had tried to remain independent under his father, but it wasn't easy.

Now Alex had another problem on his hands. How the hell was he going to tell his parents that he was in a homosexual relationship after what he had done to get in here? Alex sighed; they'd probably just give him a pile of money and hope it would all go away. That was another thing they were good at, throwing money at a problem until it was no longer a problem.

When Alex was in high school, he had started a few fights, which had led to his expulsion from a Swiss Boarding School. His parents, the sensitive type that they were, had decided to send him to an even more expensive, exclusive school. That had not been any better; he had instigated a few more fights there. Finally, after three attempts, they had sent him off to Military School. That had just made him more angry. When it had come time to go into college, he had been like a taut rope, threatening to break at any second.

What Alex didn't realize at the time was that he needed some affection. He needed some love. Only Fox had made him see what he had been missing in his life, the one thing that calmed him down. _Didn't they realize that they couldn't just spend money and give me things to make me happy? Didn't they realize that having a kid meant spending time with him, not just ensuring the family lineage would live on?_

Alex snorted. _Well, that's not going to happen now, is it?_

How was he going to tell his parents? They wouldn't understand. His father was always calling in favors with his business friends for Alex; he was always trying to do things for Alex, always trying to control Alex.

_Not anymore._

Alex hopped down from his bunk and got out his pad of paper and pen, then sat down at his desk and began writing.

> _July 10_
> 
> Dear Mother and Father:
> 
> Thank you for your last letter. The pictures of your Alaskan Cruise were very nice. I'm glad you both had a wonderful time.
> 
> _I have been thinking about my future, and I have decided that when I get out in couple of years, I'm going to move to Boston. I have the condo there, and I'm sure I can find a job in a warehouse or at the docks. I'm also going to be moving in with someone as I am in love._

Alex ripped the sheet of paper off of the pad, wadded it up and threw it in the waste bag taped to the desk. No, he couldn't tell them, not now. His mother would probably hop on a plane in a hysterical fit, come here and confront him in the visitor's room. That was something he didn't need. No, he would have to wait and tell them in person.

> _September 12_
> 
> Hey, Lover,
> 
> I dreamt of you last night. You came to see me and we made love on the floor. I could feel you sucking on my cock and playing with my balls. You moved your hand down and started rubbing your finger across my hole, teasing me, making me moan out loud. You then pushed your finger inside, rough and probing for that pleasure spot. When you found it, you stroked it until I came in your mouth, shouting your name.
> 
> God, baby, I'm so hard for you right now just from writing this, I can barely sit in my chair. I'm finding it hard to wait until lights out to take care of myself. I sometimes go to a private place, lock the door and fantasize about you and your sexy mouth, your perfect ass, your large cock as I jerk myself off. If I concentrate real hard, I can see your face before mine as you come.
> 
> I want to see you, to touch you, to smell you. I miss you so much I can't stand it. Time goes so slow in here, a day seems like a week. I've stopped keeping count of the days until my parole hearing, it's just too painful to see all those many months ahead of us.
> 
> Thank you for the leaf from the tree in your front yard. It's nice to get some sort of sense that the seasons are changing outside, as nothing tells you they're changing inside here. I can't wait to see your house, to make love to you in your bed.
> 
> I should go, I want to get this in the post as quick as possible so you can press this to your chest as you take care of yourself and think of me.
> 
> _Love you._

It was Thanksgiving and Mulder had gone down to spend the holiday with Sam in Boston. He met her partner, Dana Scully, who seemed nice enough if a little intense and overly analytical for his taste, and Sam's boyfriend, Jason Prestwick. The day had been pleasant, but Mulder found it hard to get into a celebratory mood. Fortunately, Sam had noticed and diverted the others' attention from him. She had a good idea of what was bothering him, and she hoped he wasn't setting himself up to get hurt. She still found it difficult to believe that he'd fallen in love with the man who'd gone to jail for causing Jamie's death. She had even more difficulty believing that her big brother had raped the man and that Krycek had forgiven him and fallen in love with him too, but she couldn't see any reason for him to lie about it.

As soon as Dana left, Mulder sat down to write to Alex, needing to feel some connection with him today.

> _November 25_
> 
> Babe,
> 
> I think I'm going to have to stop spending holidays with my sister until you can be here with me. Much as I miss her and look forward to seeing her, every time we spend a holiday together, I'm just reminded that you're not here, that my family isn't complete.
> 
> It was a good day though. I met her boyfriend, the one she's serious about, Jason. He's from old money here in Boston, but we talked a while today and he seems okay. I think he'll make her happy. I watched them together, and they both looked the way I feel when I'm with you. They're good together.
> 
> Had to take a quick break, babe, she and Jason just left to go spend the evening at his place. I think she was trying to give me some time alone to write to you. I think you two are going to get along great when you finally meet. I'm just wondering if Western civilization will survive it. I think having you around will let me get back to having fun with her and being her brother instead of almost being her father.
> 
> I never told you about that, did I? Our parents died when I was eighteen and she was thirteen. Somehow, don't ask me how, I managed to convince social services that I could take care of her, and I became her legal guardian. I'd just finished high school a couple months earlier, and instead of going to college in the fall, I already had a full time job. I kept the little bit of money left after Mom and Dad died for her to go to college, and I managed to save some more the next few years till she graduated. Did I tell you my sister's a genius? She got into medical school, and I worked a lot of overtime, but we did it. She's a doctor, and a damn good one.
> 
> Fuck, I sound like a proud dad or something, don't I? What the hell do you see in a boring old guy like me?
> 
> Anyhow, since she was kind enough to give me some time alone, I shouldn't waste it. I'm already hard just thinking about you. God, I think I spend most of my time hard lately. I need you so much, I miss you. I'm thinking about kissing you now, baby, about tasting you, sucking on your tongue and hearing that sexy little moan you make. I can feel you against me, your nipples hard and your cock even harder where it's pressed against mine.
> 
> Touch yourself, baby, make yourself come like I'm doing. It makes me feel a little closer to you to come while I'm writing to you.
> 
> Can you feel my fingers sliding down between your ass cheeks, teasing you by lightly stroking over your opening? You're so hot and tight, you feel so good on my finger. I can hardly wait to get my cock inside you, to feel you gripping me. But first I have to get you ready, my fingers inside you, stretching you, rubbing over your prostate to make you crazy. You're so sexy, so beautiful when you squirm like that and I know that you want me.
> 
> I'd keep twisting my fingers inside you while I sucked on your nipples. My other hand would be on your balls, rolling them together, petting you until you scream for me. I want to hear you so bad, baby. I want you to hear me.
> 
> Thinking about you like this makes me horny as hell. I'm jerking myself off thinking about you right now, babe.
> 
> God, I come harder just thinking about you than I ever did in bed with anyone else. When you get out, I'm dragging you home and to bed and not letting you up for a week. Maybe a month. I'm counting the days, lover.
> 
> _I love you._

Mulder sat back, panting for a few minutes before he forced himself to get cleaned up in case Sam got back early. He glanced at the letter again, then grinned wickedly and smeared the come-covered tissue over the back of it before folding it up and sealing it into an envelope. He knew Alex would smell it and know what he'd done.

Alex was in his cell, resting after his shift when the mail came. He had been working the early morning shift for the past two weeks during the breakfast rush. He was tired; he wasn't really a morning person. He preferred working the evening shift, but everyone was rotated every couple of months, and he had to take what he could get.

Alex watched as the mail delivery person dropped a few envelopes on Frohike's bunk. "There's a letter for you, Krycek," he said as he pushed his cart down the tier to the other cells. Alex leaned his head over his bunk so he could see what was there. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized the writing on the envelope resting on the top of the pile. He jumped down off his bunk, snatched up the letter, then hopped back up. He tore the envelope open and started to read the letter. His fingers stroked the back of the piece of paper; it felt strange.

He kept reading, his cock hardened and his pulse quickened at the descriptions written on the page. By the time he got to the end of his letter, his hand was down stroking his now aching cock. He moved over to his side so anyone walking by would just see his back and read the letter again, his fly open, his hand quickly moving over his erection. He brought the hand holding the letter up to his face to wipe the sweat that had formed on his brow... _Wait a minute._ He smelled his hand.... _It couldn't be..._ He then brought the letter up to his face and sniffed it. _That's why it felt so funny._ Alex turned the piece of paper over and licked it, tasting his lover for the first time in months.

This turned him on even more, knowing that his lover had come on the letter. He moved his hand faster, the letter pressed to his face, his tongue making it soggy. It didn't take Alex long to come into his hand with a quiet grunt. He lay there for a minute, wishing he could have someone to kiss, wishing he could have Fox holding him right now. He brought his hand up to his face and licked his hand clean, his eyes closed, pretending it was Fox's come that he was licking. When he was done, he did up his pants and lay back and dozed for awhile.

About an hour later, Alex was awoken by the familiar scuffling sound of his cell mate. Alex yawned then turned over onto his side and stared at the strange man who was pulling a wire out of the wall.

"What are you doing?"

Frohike flinched at the question but continued pulling on the wire. "I've done it, Krycek."

"What?"

"I've got enough wire to connect with the phone line."

"Uh-huh?"

"I'm going to be connected to the net sooner than you think."

"Why don't you just use the computers in the library?"

Frohike shook his head but didn't look up "They're all monitored. This way, I can cover my tracks as I hack in and give myself early release."

"Yeah, whatever."

This time Frohike did look up. "Don't doubt me, Krycek. I can do it." He finished pulling on the wire, showing a larger wire connected to the other end. He then secured it with a piece of gum to the wall and replaced the piece of brick that he had so very carefully chipped out of the wall. He stood and smiled at his handiwork. "There." He turned and beamed at Krycek.

"I got to hand it to you, Frohike, you are one focused guy."

"Just wait until I get my palmtop, then I'll show you some magic." He then turned and began gathering his laundry.

Alex rolled over onto his back and laughed quietly. If nothing else, this Frohike character was very amusing.

"Going to do laundry," Alex heard as his cell mate left and went down the hall.

Alex got off his bunk, dug out his pad of paper and went over to the small desk to write Fox back.

> _November 30_
> 
> Lover,
> 
> Your letter made me feel so good, baby. I can't believe you came on it for me. I could smell you and I could taste you as I thought of your hard cock in my mouth. I did as you asked and made myself come then licked my hand clean, imagining it was you.
> 
> I can't wait to see you in person, to taste you, to make love to you. You're all I think about; you're all I dream about. I can see your face when I sleep, over me, your eyes half closed as you fuck me slow and deep. I swear I've come more just from dreaming about you than when I was with you.
> 
> I'd better stop or I'm going to be coming again, and it's not a good time right now.
> 
> Being inside, I don't miss the holidays that much, as we don't see all the happy people around us. The only indication that we had to tell us that it was Thanksgiving was turkey for dinner. There were a lot of guys who had visits that day, but other than that, nothing. I wish we could arrange for a conjugal, but somehow, I don't think it would be approved.
> 
> The more I learn about you, the more I love you. You are something special, baby, giving up college for your baby sister. I can't say I've done anything that unselfish. I can't wait to meet her, she sounds like a great person. You should be proud of her; if she were my sister, I would be. I would have done anything for a brother or a sister. I come from one of those "old money" families like Jason. To my parents, love meant private schools and expensive clothing. I wish I had someone like your sister, someone to talk to when I was a kid. Someone to play with.
> 
> My parents want to come up for a visit at Christmas. I told them I didn't think that was a very good idea. This isn't the sort of place that my mother would be comfortable in. I can't see her waiting with the gangster's wives and girlfriends for hours to talk on a phone through a thick piece of glass for five minutes. My father may come up by himself.
> 
> I tried to tell them about us, but I couldn't do it in a letter. I am going to have to wait until I am out and see them in person. I hope you understand. My parents are used to having things a certain way...you'll see when you meet them. I'm sorry, lover, I want to share my love with the world and I can't right now. There's only another year until my parole hearing and hopefully then we can start our new life together. We can then tell everyone that we're together and in love.
> 
> It's dinner time, lover, and I have to go. I miss you. I love you.
> 
> _A_

Mulder carefully folded Alex's latest letter after reading it and put it away with all the others. He felt like an idiot, or at least some teenager in the throes of his first crush, keeping them, but they were all he had of Alex. He couldn't throw them away. He sat back down to write his reply.

> _December 20_
> 
> Merry Christmas, Alex!
> 
> I think I miss you even more than usual now. I decorated the tree today, and I wished so much you could be here with me, drinking eggnog, singing silly Christmas carols, arguing over where to put the balls -- get your mind out of the gutter! -- whether the angel's on straight. All the little stuff that you do with the people you love. Decorating the tree alone's not the same. I know, I could have, should have, waited for S-my sister, but this is our tree, even if you won't ever see it. Maybe next year. Please God!
> 
> Anyhow, I decorated it, and I imagined you under it, tied up with shiny red ribbon and wearing a big red velvet bow. Never knew winter could be so hot! I may never take that tree down. Come to think of it though, I should wrap you in green ribbon to match your eyes. Mmmm, I'll bet you look great at St. Paddy's Day. Oh hell, I got sidetracked again, didn't I? See what you do to me?
> 
> What I was trying to tell you was that I figured out what to get you for Christmas, baby. Something really special. I think, I hope you'll like it. You'll have to let me know.
> 
> Do you like winter sports? I hope so. I love to go skiing. I like to skate too, but my sister insists I look like some kind of clumsy stork or something. I'm counting on you to protect me from her when you get here. I want to go away somewhere with you, somewhere wintry where we can ski all day, maybe snowshoe, have a snowball fight, make out in the snow, go inside our cabin, strip off all our wet clothes and make love in front of a roaring fire. Corny, huh? A friend and I used to go skiing together. We had a lot of fun, but we were just friends, you know? I don't think I've ever really had a lover before, just friends I sometimes had sex with.
> 
> Shit, here I go again. You must be getting sick of me. I'd like just once to get through a letter without sounding all sappy and needy. I know I could just rip this up and start over, but that feels like a cheat. If you were here for me to say this to, I wouldn't be able to erase things I'd already said, so I won't do it just because I'm talking to you on paper instead.
> 
> Oh, time for work again. Gotta go, baby. I'm really looking forward to hearing how you like your Christmas present.
> 
> _I love you._

Fox grinned as he dropped the letter in the mail on his way to work. Alex should get it on the 23rd or 24th, time enough to drive him nuts wondering what his Christmas present was. _God, am I_ ever _looking forward to hearing how he likes it._

Alex was in his cell, lying on his bunk, hands tucked behind his head. It was late, and he had just gotten off his shift in the kitchen. He hadn't been due to rotate back to evenings for another month, but some guy got released, and Tagarelli wanted Alex back. He didn't mind; he liked evenings. When Alex got back to his bunk after his shifts, it was quiet; Frohike was usually sleeping, snoring lightly to himself...it was almost peaceful.

He climbed onto his bunk and noticed an envelope waiting for him. He knew exactly who it was from, and his heart started pounding as he ripped it open. There was just enough light in his cell from the tier that he could read and write late at night.

He got comfortable and started reading the letter. _Present?_ Alex smirked. _I wonder what he got me._ His smile quickly turned to a frown. _What the hell am I going to get him, plastic spoons?_ He shrugged; surely Fox didn't expect an actual present from him. He'd make it up to him when he got out of here. He'd buy him whatever he wanted.

Alex hopped off his bunk to retrieve his pad of paper, then climbed back up.

> _Lover,_
> 
> I got your letter today. I wish I could have been there to help you decorate your tree; it sounds beautiful. Next year it will be our tree. I'd do anything to be naked with you in front of a roaring fire. God, I'm hard just thinking about it. I tell you, it's incentive to either act real good for early parole, or break out of here somehow.
> 
> As for winter sports, I ski. But roaring down a hill on an inner tube is fun as well. Mmmmm, that sounds so good, stripping off your wet clothes, licking the moisture from your body. You're getting me hard again. I'm not going to forget about the ribbon, either. The only thing is that I'm going to surprise you with where I tie it!
> 
> I miss you, lover. I need to see you, to see your face. When I dream of you, your face is losing its features. God, it's been so long. If I could just see you for a few seconds, to make love to you again...I'd like to say I'd suffer the rest of my sentence in silence if it could happen, but that wouldn't be true.
> 
> I can't give you anything for Christmas except my love. I can also give you a promise that when I get out of here, I'm going to make love to you in front of a roaring fire then in a big, soft bed for hours and hours. I'm not even going to let you get up to eat; I'm going to have people bring in food and feed you myself. I won't let you out of my sight for days.
> 
> God, I'm so turned on just by thinking about it, I'd better go before I come all over this letter and have to start again. Then again, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
> 
> I love you. I miss you. Have a great Christmas.
> 
> _A._

_'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everyone was stirring, especially us poor kitchen slobs._ Alex snorted to himself as he started another shift. Since food services were considered essential, he was working, but he'd get another day off later. He could have had today off, but since a lot of the guys had family coming to visit and he was alone, he'd said he'd work. _Thank god I talked Mom and Dad out of coming to visit. What a lovely visit_ that _would have been._

He turned around to hand a pile of trays to one of the other workers, and he dropped them out of suddenly nerveless fingers. Standing against the opposite wall, watching him with a mischievous glint in his eyes, was Fox. Alex just stared, praying he wasn't dreaming again, that he wasn't about to wake up alone in his cell again, clutching his pillow.

Alex's mouth felt dry, his knees felt weak, and his stomach flip-flopped from excitement. _Oh my god, it's really him._ He swallowed, but his mouth was still dry. Fox had his arms crossed in front of him in the familiar hack stance, but that look in his eye sent shivers down Alex's spine. Fox's tongue snuck out for a second to moisten his lower lip. That action sent a jolt of electricity down to Alex's cock, making him almost melt to the floor. Alex just stood there, looking at the man he had been fantasizing about for months. He couldn't move, hell he could barely breathe, he could just see Fox's face...

"Fuck, Krycek, watch what the hell ya doin'! Shit, now we gotta wash all the fuckin' trays again, and it's nearly mealtime. Well, whatchya waiting for? Pick 'em up!"

Alex jumped, startled out of his fixation by Tagarelli's bellow in his ear. He hastily picked up the trays and carried them back to be washed again, aware of Fox's eyes following his every move. His face burned as he went through the motions, knowing Fox was watching him like that, undressing him with his eyes. He couldn't ignore him. Turning to the guy beside him, he hissed, "Hey, what's with Mulder? I thought he got promoted to D Block?"

"Yeah, but he was scheduled off, and a lot of the regular hacks in here have families, so he swapped with someone."

Alex just nodded like it was no big deal, but he wanted to yell, show how happy he was. _Fuck, it'll be hours till we can be alone! This is torture, to have him this close after so long and not to be able to touch him._ He dared a quick glance at Fox and gasped at the heat in his eyes.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, I just banged my funnybone. Come on, we better get this finished before Tagarelli comes back over here." _And I better figure out how to get rid of this fucking hard on, or I'll be in deep shit before this shift is over._ He carefully avoided looking at Mulder again, despite feeling his eyes watching him. They managed to make it through the next several hours of serving dinner and cleaning up until the others were gone, leaving Krycek to finish up the recycling and Mulder to watch him.

"Seems like old times, doesn't it?" Mulder observed from his position leaning against the closed door.

"You're not going to start quoting corny lines at me, are you?" Alex joked, his eyes running over Fox hungrily.

"Nah, I have other things in mind. Merry Christmas, Alex."

"I love my present."

"Ah, but you haven't had me yet."

"I will. God, I've been waiting so long for this. It seems like forever."

Fox stepped forward, straight into Alex's waiting arms, and then it seemed like they were trying to devour each other. Mouths clung together desperately, tasting one another for the first time in months, and their hands moved frantically, stripping away the impediment of their clothing.

Soon they were naked, their warm bodies pressed up against each other in the coolness of the cement-floored room. Mulder reached down to cup Alex's ass but felt him pull away. Mulder stepped back and looked at his lover, who had a look of admiration on his face.

"What are you doing?" Mulder asked.

"I'm looking at you. I'm remembering you. I want to be able to think of you like this for a long, long time."

Alex walked over to touch Mulder, who reached out to him. "No. Stay still, Fox. I want to touch you and look at you all over. I never want to not remember this."

Mulder found it hard, but he stood still as Alex ran his hands all over his body. He could not keep silent, however. "You know, we haven't seen each other in months..."

"Shhh." Alex swatted him on the ass lightly. "I know, baby. We haven't seen each other in months, and after this we're not going to see each other for a few more. Please let me do this." Alex pressed himself up against Mulder's back as his hands roamed over his lover's front. He kissed his shoulders lightly as he whispered in his ear, "Let me do this, baby, let me remember every inch of your body."

Alex noticed Mulder didn't argue as he ran his tongue down his back until he was kneeling on the floor. He nuzzled the small of Mulder's back with his chin, the stubble grating along the smooth skin. Mulder jumped at the sensation, then sighed as Alex ran his hands up and down his legs. Alex was kissing and licking Mulder's ass cheeks while his fingers played with his balls. He moved his hands around to spread Mulder's ass while his tongue flicked over the puckered opening. Alex could hear a muffled cry as he teased his asshole, pressing his tongue against it and the skin around it until he moved on.

Alex ran his tongue down one leg, around an ankle, then moved around so it could travel up the other leg to Mulder's groin. He lingered there, nipping at the sensitive skin where leg met thigh, sucking on the flesh, marking him as his own. He pressed his face into the tawny patch of curls, drinking in his scent, filing the smell away in his memory forever.

He moved up Mulder's front, licking the fine hair covering his belly, avoiding the rosy-headed penis that jutted out from Mulder's body. He moved up to his chest, stopping at the copper nipples, alternating between sucking one and plucking the other with his fingers until Mulder was whimpering for him to finish him off.

"Please, Alex...god, I need you."

Alex moved up to his lover's mouth again and kissed him, his tongue exploring his mouth, memorizing the terrain inside. He felt Mulder's arms come around him, and he leaned into his embrace, sighing with contentment. Small moans began to form in his throat as their cocks rubbed together and swiped each other's bellies, leaving sticky trails of pre-come. Suddenly, Alex dropped to his knees and swallowed Mulder's cock, the unexpected action almost making the prison guard scream.

Alex didn't linger; he just needed to taste his lover one more time, to put that sensation in his memory banks for later use. He wished he could bottle Mulder's smell, his taste, and open it up when he needed him. But for now he had the real thing, and he wasn't going to waste a second. He swirled his tongue over the head, collecting and swallowing Mulder's essence. He then pulled off and looked up at his lover, who was looking down at him with that heavy lidded stare that was in so many of his dreams.

"Make love to me, Fox."

Mulder reached down and brought Alex up for a tender kiss before he lay them both down on the bed of cardboard. Mulder kissed Alex's neck and down to his chest, careful not to leave any marks. He bit his nipples, smirking when Alex moaned and broke out into a sweat. He reached over to his uniform, which lay crumpled on the floor, and brought out the tube of hand lotion he had in his pocket. He didn't want to be caught with a tube of lube in his pocket, and this worked just as well.

He reached down between Alex's open legs, caressing his balls, stroking his hard cock, making Alex shiver. He coated his fingers with the hand lotion and moved them down to the puckered opening. With the first finger, Alex was bucking his hips, forcing it deeper inside.

"I want you now. I have to have you now. Please, baby, please just do me."

Mulder removed his lone finger from Alex's ass and coated his erection liberally before moving between Alex's legs. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you look like this?"

"I dream of you on top of me," Alex said as Mulder started to push inside the tight entrance. Alex arched his back and dug his shoulders into the ground, his arms out from his body, fingernails scratching at the cardboard.

Mulder pushed in to the hilt, then waited; Alex was so tight and he hadn't done this in so long that he was very sensitive. He looked down at his lover, his eyes half closed, panting, sweat coating his body. This was just how he remembered him, full of lust and ready to go.

He moved over Alex's body, caressing his sweaty face with his hand, kissing his lips, tasting the salt on them. He pulled his hips back and thrust into Alex, watching as his lover's eyes fluttered. He waited a few seconds then did it again; this time Alex bit his lower lip and whimpered. Mulder smiled then kissed him. As much as he would like to prolong this session all night, they had better get a move on. Mulder wrapped his arms around Alex and began moving his hips back and forth, adjusting the angle until he felt Alex shudder beneath him; then he knew he had hit that spot.

Alex moved his hands down from Mulder's back and used them to keep his legs open and wide. Mulder pounded into him, letting out a moan with every stroke. Alex arched his neck back, his head digging into the cardboard. _God, this feels so good; please don't let me wake up from this dream._ Soon, Mulder reached down and took Alex's cock into his hand and pulled, stroking him to perfection. Alex saw stars when he came, and he swore his heart almost stopped. Mulder thrust a couple more times then moaned into Alex's ear as he shot his load, the aftershocks making his body quiver until he collapsed.

Alex relished the warmth and weight of Mulder's body on his own; he wished they could stay like this forever. Unfortunately, they only had a few minutes until Mulder rolled off to the side and stroked his face.

"I love you."

Alex felt tears spring to his eyes, something that had never happened before. He had always remained stone-faced, always kept his emotions in check. With Fox, however, he couldn't do that. Fox brought out something in him that made him not only feel good, but for the first time in his life, wanted. He held them back, though, determined not to let his emotions get the better of him.

"I love you, too." Mulder kissed him for a long time before he pulled away. "We should go."

Alex breathed in and out quickly. "I don't know if I can let you go."

Mulder laughed, "We'll see each other again." His eyes glittered. "I'm working here for two weeks." Alex couldn't contain his smile. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never gave me a chance."

Alex groaned as he got up and got the wipes from the corner where they had remained hidden all this time. He cleaned Mulder and himself up then got dressed. Soon they were left standing before each other.

"Merry Christmas, Baby. I hoped you liked your present."

"Merry Christmas, Lover. I got you the same thing."

Both men laughed then kissed one last time before leaving the recycle room. They were trying very hard to wipe the smiles off of their faces, succeeding only when they turned the corner from the dining hall where another guard was positioned. Mulder walked Alex back to his cell, both men having the urge to grab each other's hand.

Alex watched as Mulder left him in his cell without a backward glance and went back down the tier. He watched the bars slam shut in front of his face before he turned around and got ready for bed. Frohike was sleeping already, a makeshift stocking hung above his head. Alex smirked; he had to hand it to Frohike, he always tried to make the best of things.

He started to get undressed, removing his pants and his button up shirt then socks. He stopped when he got to the t-shirt though...something wasn't right. He brought the shirt up to his nose and sniffed. It wasn't his shirt; it was Fox's. A smile crossed his face as he climbed up onto his bunk and lay down.

"Merry Christmas, Fox," Alex whispered as he rolled over and went to sleep, his lover's smell enveloping him like a warm blanket.

Mulder smiled when he woke up the next morning and pulled Alex's T-shirt out of his night table drawer. He buried his face in it, able to smell his lover first thing in the morning for the first time. It wasn't as good as having him there, but it was something. He carefully put it away again, wanting to preserve the scent as long as possible. He got up to get ready for work, really looking forward to going in.

_Who'd have thought I'd be anxious to go to a prison? There's something very odd about that idea. Then again, I think I'd happily go to hell if I was sure Alex would be waiting for me. God, I'm getting sappy again. This better stop when I finally get him home._

Once dressed, he slid a picture of Sam into his pocket, wanting to show it to Alex. He reminded himself to ask Alex to have a picture of himself taken by the prison photographer and to mail it to him. He wanted to show him off to Sam. He also wanted one for himself. He glanced at the clock as he left, grimacing when he thought about how many hours it would be before they could be alone. They only had these two weeks, and he resented having to waste even a single second.

_Shit, I better make sure that my days off are the same as his somehow. I refuse to lose four days because we're on different schedules._

The day seemed to drag on forever. He loved watching Alex, but he had to be careful not to be obvious. Alex teased him as much as possible, occasionally brushing past him whenever he could without drawing attention. Both men looked at the clock frequently, growing more frustrated as each minute felt like an hour. Once their eyes met, and without a word they promised themselves that some day, they'd be able to be together whenever they wanted.

Fox was ready to scream with frustration by the time everyone was done, leaving Alex to finish up the garbage and recycling. He'd swear they were moving in slow motion today, but eventually they left, and Alex grinned at him as he shrugged on a parka, grabbed the garbage, and took it out to the dumpster.

Fox pulled on a coat for himself and followed close behind, pressing against Alex's back, trapping him beside the dumpster. Alex laughed huskily, leaning back into him.

"What is with you and this dumpster? I'm telling you right now, when I get out of here, _you_ are gonna be in charge of taking out the garbage. I don't trust you behind me around it."

Fox chuckled. "You mean you want to trust me? Not to grab you and fuck you through the wall, I mean."

"Hell no!" Alex was quick to deny. "Please, feel free."

Fox suddenly bit the side of his throat, and Alex moaned faintly. Fox reluctantly let go, knowing he had to before he marked his lover. That was something else he'd do when he got Alex home. Meanwhile, there were plenty of other things he could do. And judging by the way Alex was squirming against him, he agreed. And had some ideas about what to do, too.

"Anxious, babe?"

Alex twisted around to glare over his shoulder. "Why should I be anxious? Just because you've been staring at me like I was a rare steak all day! Stop teasing, damnit, and _do_ something!"

Mulder pulled Alex even more tightly against him, his hard cock nestled between his cheeks, and he slid his hands inside Alex's pants, finding the matching erection and stroking it while Alex writhed in his arms. He leaned his chin on Alex's shoulder, looking down to watch his hand moving and seeing how Alex arched into his touch. He loved how responsive the younger man was. He just had to look at Alex and he got hard. He made a mental note to buy vitamins before Alex got paroled, and he chuckled.

"Fox?" Alex's voice was very calm and quiet.

"Yes, Alex?" Mulder made sure that he continued stroking Alex's cock to distract him.

"Stop laughing and _fuck_ me!" He grabbed Mulder's other hand and pulled it to his mouth, biting down hard. He heard Fox's yelp with satisfaction and had to bite his lip to hold back a grin when Mulder yanked his pants down and unfastened his own. He wanted them naked together, but it was just too cold out. And he wasn't willing to wait till they got back inside; he wanted Alex _now_. Both men groaned in frustration at the delay as Mulder grabbed the lotion out of his pocket and squeezed some directly onto his cock, scooping a bit up with a finger to swipe it over Alex's ass. Neither of them had the patience for long preparation, so Mulder simply positioned himself and pushed forward slowly. Alex was less patient and bucked back, taking Mulder deep inside himself, then freezing with a hiss of indrawn breath at the burning sensation.

Mulder continued stroking his cock, gritting his teeth as he remained still, waiting for Alex to grow accustomed to him. It wasn't long before Alex relaxed slightly and started to move, pulling away slightly, then pushing back, working himself on Mulder's cock. He reached back, placing a hand on Fox's hip, holding him tightly, trying to pull him even closer. Mulder cooperated by starting to pump his hips, matching Alex's rhythm, then speeding up, keeping the motion of his hand in sync, his free arm wrapped around Alex to hold him close.

Alex turned his head so he could reach Fox's mouth, licking at his lips, memorizing his flavor. Then Fox shifted slightly, now striking his prostate on every thrust, and Alex let his head fall back against his lover's shoulder with a groan. His fingers dug into Fox's hip with bruising force while his other hand remained braced against the side of the dumpster, holding them both steady. After the hours of buildup, of watching and wanting Alex, it didn't take long for Fox's thrusts to grow erratic and for him to cry out as the pleasure raced through him. He thrust hard into Alex, his hand moving strongly on Alex's erection until he felt the younger man shudder and the hot fluid cover his hand. They stood motionless, still joined, panting, for long moments until Mulder reluctantly withdrew and rearranged his clothing, both men shivering from the cold now that they weren't distracted by other sensations.

Once Alex was fully dressed again, they went back inside to take care of the recycling. It didn't take long, so they sat down for a few minutes just to talk. Alex shifted over so that he was sitting in front of Mulder, leaning against his chest, while Mulder wrapped his arms around him. Much as he'd like to look at Fox, feeling him, being close to him, was more necessary just then. He could feel Fox moving behind him and looked up and over his shoulder to find out what he was doing.

Mulder smiled back at him and handed him the picture he'd taken out of his pocket. "Here, I wanted you to see what Sam looks like."

Alex took the picture eagerly, inspecting it, seeing the happy smiles on Fox's and Sam's faces. He could see the resemblance between them. They had the same hair and eyes and smile. Fortunately for her, she did _not_ have the same nose, and Alex told Fox so.

"Hey, what's wrong with my nose?" Fox demanded.

"Nothing. On you. On your poor sister, it would be another matter entirely. Feminine it's not."

Mulder had to laugh. Then he remembered to ask Alex to have a picture taken and send it to him, and Alex promised he would. They talked for a little while, holding each other and sharing details of their lives, ever aware of the short time they had ticking past. The eight months until Alex would be eligible for parole stretched before them, and they doubted they'd be able to see each other again after these two weeks were over until he was paroled. Far sooner than they wanted, Mulder had to take Alex back to his cell and leave him again.

Alex was in bliss. For the past two weeks, he got to see his lover every day and ended each evening in Fox's arms. Alex hated his time off and longed for his shifts in the kitchen in the evenings. He spent most of his time that he wasn't working asleep, not only so the time would pass more quickly, but to rest up from all the mindblowing sex.

He smiled to himself as he lay on his bunk, thinking of his lover, pressing Fox's shirt to his nose. He had managed to get another one of Fox's undershirts and slept with it under his pillow. His cock stiffened as he thought of Fox and smelled Fox...God how was he going to wait until tonight? He reached down and stroked himself through the cotton twill of his chinos, moaning softly to himself.

Suddenly, Frohike appeared in the doorway, and Alex scrambled to lie on his stomach, hiding his erection from his cell-mate. He groaned as he dug his hardness into the mattress, using all his will not to fuck it in front of the other man. He noticed Frohike was carrying a package. He didn't want to get into what the other man was up to, but he needed a distraction.

"Whatcha got there, Fro?" he asked.

Frohike looked over his shoulder then went to the door of the cell and looked down the tier. He then came back and stood on tiptoe to reach Alex's ear. "I got my palmtop. I'm going to hack into the Justice Department's database and set myself free. I'm going to be out of here by the end of next month."

Alex cleared his throat to keep from laughing. "You got it, good. Don't forget to send me a postcard."

Frohike pulled out a slim, black object from the package he was carrying, "I had to pay a lot of money to get this baby in here. I have a connection..." he drifted off and chose his words carefully. "Somewhere I can plug in the battery to recharge." He bent down and moved the loose brick out of the way to reveal a phone jack. He plugged the palmtop into the jack and turned the machine on. It started with a whir and a loud _ping_ that sent him scrambling to turn the volume down. He tapped a few keys, and a large smile crossed his face.

He turned back to face Alex. "See that, that's the fucking internet. I told you I'd do it!" He turned back to his little toy and tapped away some more.

Alex was impressed; he hadn't believed the little guy could do it, but he did. "Congratulations," Alex said as he rolled over on his back, his erection having gone down enough to let him do so. He didn't care if his cell mate was planning to overthrow the government; all he could think of was Fox.

Alex was drifting off into a hazy dream about him and Fox in the middle of a rainstorm of all things. They were walking along enjoying a warm summer day when clouds suddenly gathered and they found themselves in the middle of a rainstorm. They ran under a bridge to stay dry, but the rain kept falling harder and harder. Both men were soaking wet and started laughing at each other. Alex doubled over and howled at the image of Fox's clothes stuck to his body and his hair plastered to his head.

Fox was laughing at him as well and reached out to Alex to steady himself. Suddenly, they were kissing and ripping the clothes off of each other's bodies. Alex had just started sucking in the cold, damp skin of Mulder's neck into his mouth when he was awoken by the alarm.

"Lockdown"

His heart pounded as he sat up in his bunk and the cell door slammed beside him. Frohike let out a squeak and hurriedly packed his palmtop and phone cord behind the loose bricks in the wall. A minute later the SORT team ran down the tier to some unknown destination. Alex held his mirror out the bars but couldn't see what was going on. Whatever had happened was not on this tier.

A few hours later, Alex was getting frustrated. He groaned and flopped back onto his bunk. The longer this incident took, the longer he would be away from Fox. He looked at his watch; he was due to start his shift in half an hour. Frohike wasn't taking any chances either and decided not to risk taking out his palmtop Finally, three hours later, Alex was let out to do his job, and Frohike happily got out his palmtop and tapped away until his battery died.

Everyone was talking in the kitchen, wondering what had happened, but no one knew. Finally, Tagarelli approached one of the hacks who'd sometimes talk to him and asked what caused the lockdown. After a moment, he came back, stopping beside Alex.

"Some dumb fuck over in D Block got himself killed. You knew him, Krycek, that Spender asshole who killed that Smoking Man. He was a snitch for the hacks, and somebody didn't like it. They found him with his belly cut open, hamstrung, and his fuckin' tongue cut out."

Krycek made a face at the description. Even for someone who had killed his own father, it sounded like a horrible way to die. He glanced over at Mulder, wondering how this place would have changed him if he hadn't met Fox, didn't know that he had a life to start with him when he got out of here. He was glad he'd never have to find out. He looked away quickly, not wanting Tagarelli or the others to see him staring at a guard.

Everything ran late that night because of the lockdown, so Alex knew he wouldn't have much time with Fox. His shift would end very soon, so they wouldn't have time to make love like they usually did. He wished Spender were still alive so he could kill him for screwing up his time with Fox. This was Fox's last day in the kitchen before going back to his regular job, and now they'd be lucky to have even a few minutes together.

Alex glanced at Fox again and saw that his lover was as aware as he of how little time they had. They exchanged an unhappy look, both praying that the others would finish up and get out before Fox was relieved. By the time everyone did leave, there was less than half an hour left till Fox had to go.

Alex whipped through the recycling, knowing that they only had a few more minutes. The moment he was done, he grabbed Fox, yanking his pants down and swallowing his cock. Mulder gasped and clutched at his head, staggering back a step against the wall.

"Alex, what...God!"

Alex just held him, going down on him, determined to taste him one more time before he left again. He sucked hard, one hand busily caressing Mulder's balls and one finger of the other probing at his anus and sliding inside. Mulder groaned and came hard, his fingers tangled in Alex's hair. Alex licked him clean, then tucked him back into his pants, standing up to kiss him.

When Alex finally released his mouth, Mulder gasped, "What was that about?"

"I wasn't going to let you leave without tasting you one more time."

"Hell, I wanted to have time to be with you tonight, something to remember for the next few months till I can take you home."

"I know, babe, I did too, but we couldn't help this. I'll remember you regardless."

They shared another kiss, then had to leave, knowing that Mulder's replacement would be showing up soon.

The walk back to Alex's cell seemed like the longest walk ever. Mulder grabbed Alex's bicep half way there to guide him along, although it was totally unnecessarily. He needed to touch him again, and this was the only way he could. He could feel Alex's pulse race beneath his fingertips, Mulder's heart was also beating fast in anticipation of saying goodbye. _It's so hard to leave him. I wonder if it would have just been easier to not have traded with MacPherson and not seen Alex at all..._ Mulder cleared that last thought from his mind. The past two weeks had been wonderful; he'd be reliving their activities in his mind for months to come.

They came to a shuffling stop; they were now at the door to Alex's cell. Mulder removed his hand from Alex's arm, his fingers slightly caressing it as they pulled away. He saw Alex's shoulders drop, and he fought the very strong urge to grab the man, kiss him and hold him tight. They hesitated a long instant at the cell door until Mulder finally reached up and spoke softly into his radio. "Open A224."

"Opening A224" came the reply from the small speaker at Mulder's shoulder. The bars slid open, and Alex stepped inside but didn't turn around. "Close A224," Mulder said in his soft voice again. "Closing A224."

The bars slid shut between them, a brutal reminder of where they were and that time still had to be served before they could be together. Again, Mulder wished he could say something or touch Alex, but he knew he couldn't. Finally, he turned away silently and left, feeling like he was leaving a piece of himself behind.

Alex turned and clutched the bars of his cell tightly as he caught the barest glimpse of Mulder walking away. He told himself he wouldn't look; he told himself he was going to be strong, but he couldn't help the wave of emotion that overcame him at that moment. He wanted to call out to Mulder, to tell him to stop and come back, to tell him that he loved him. He opened his mouth but snapped it shut again. It was foolish thinking in a place like this, and actions like that would get him killed. He sighed and leaned his forehead against the cold metal for a minute, the silence of the tier strangely soothing.

After a few minutes, he pulled away and got ready for bed. Frohike was snoring happily to himself, obviously pleased with his developments of the day. Alex stripped down to his boxers and climbed onto his bunk, lying on his side, facing the wall.

_I just wanted one more time with you._ He reached under his pillow and brought out one of Mulder's undershirts. He held it to his face and inhaled the musky smell that was Mulder's alone. _I miss you already._ Alex could feel his cock stiffen as he closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

The last time they were together, last night, had been incredible. Mulder had straddled Alex's chest and brushed his cock against Alex's lips. Alex had opened his mouth hungrily while Mulder pushed the tip inside. Alex had wanted more and reached his hands behind to pull Mulder's ass forward, but he hadn't moved. A wicked smile had crossed Mulder's face as if to say "that's all you're getting, now what are you going to do with it?" Alex had nibbled around the succulent head and teased the slit with his tongue. Mulder had reached one hand behind him and was stroking Alex's cock and balls, keeping him on the edge. Alex had run the smooth back of his tongue over the head again and again, making his lover moan and sigh. Mulder had waited until the last second before he climbed off of Alex and hauled his legs over his shoulders. He had rammed into Alex hard, making his body jump with every thrust until he came over Mulder's hand and his own belly. Alex must have passed out, because the next thing he remembered was Mulder licking him clean and sharing it with him.

Alex stroked himself and squeezed his balls, remembering the past two weeks and the highs that had come of it. He could smell Mulder; he could taste Mulder on his tongue. He came as quietly as he could, biting his lip so it bled to keep from moaning. He wiped up the come with Mulder's t-shirt, mingling their scents forever.

He wanted tears to come; he wanted a visible sign of his sadness at Mulder leaving. Instead, he rolled over onto his other side and tried to get some sleep, clutching the soggy t-shirt to his chest.

The days turned to weeks, then months on the inside without any indication that anything at all was changing. The same things happened every day; each inmate had his routine and kept to it, like some mouse in a maze trying to find the cheese. In this case, the cheese was parole. Alex had been looking forward to his parole hearing since he first got to this place. His lawyer had contacted him to tell him that a date had been set for six months from now. Alex had started thinking about what would happen if they didn't grant him parole. He spent nights awake so worried about whether he'd be paroled or not that he didn't think about Fox anymore. He hardly got horny anymore, which he thought was probably a good thing. At least he didn't have to keep quiet while he jerked off or have to creatively hide an erection when he stood outside his cell for count.

> _February 20_
> 
> Lover,
> 
> I'm glad your sister dragged you away last weekend, it's good for you to get out and do things instead of moping around your house. I didn't know she was a Bruins fan; I think I'm really going to like her.
> 
> I got my parole hearing date, it's August 19th. I was happy when I first got the news, but now I'm scared. What if they don't grant me parole? What about that fight I had when I first got in here, will they use that against me? I've been good and have kept my nose clean, but it might not be enough.
> 
> At night, I can't sleep, I just worry about me not getting out and you and us. I want so much for us to be together, and it kills me when I realize that I may be in here longer. God, I can't spend another six months in this place away from you. I miss you so much as it is, I think I'll go crazy if I'm not paroled.
> 
> I don't know how these other guys do it. Guys who are in here for 10, 20 years, for life, how the hell do they do it? How can they live day after day knowing they're going to be in a cage for that long? No wonder why so many of them keep with their own gangs, it makes them feel like it's really living in here.
> 
> I should go, I'm starting my shift in 15 minutes. I love you, babe.
> 
> _A_

Mulder nearly cried when he got that letter from Alex. He could tell how depressed and scared he was getting, and there was nothing he could do for him. He wanted to hold him, comfort him, at the very least tell him that he _would_ get out, but he knew that there were no guarantees. It was by no means sure that Alex would be paroled, although his chances were very good. He looked over at the framed picture of Alex that he kept beside his bed and wished it was really him.

"Hang on, babe, you'll be here soon," he murmured, then turned back to his desk to write back to Alex.

> _February 24_
> 
> Alex,
> 
> I know it's hard for you, but you have to keep thinking positive. Your attitude can make a difference at your parole hearing. If you're upbeat and seem ready to get along in society, they'll be more likely to let you out. Thank god you're wealthy enough that even without having a job waiting for you, they know you can support yourself. I wish we could say that you would be with me, but if by some horrible chance you don't get out, I don't want to lose my job and any chance of seeing you.
> 
> Shit, I can't imagine not being able to at least see you from a distance sometimes. I'm really pathetic you know. I take my breaks at the times you're likely to be outside so I can catch a glimpse of you. Pretty dumb huh?
> 
> I am so fucked up. I want to be with you constantly, but then I see Mike again like last weekend and I feel so guilty. He's my best friend and I can't tell him about you or even that I'm in love finally. How the hell can I tell him that I fell in love with you after what happened to Jamie? It would be like saying that he had to lose Jamie so I could find you. Hell, that IS what happened!
> 
> Shit, Alex, I'm sorry. I just read back over what I wrote, and it's the last thing you need to hear when you're already nervous and upset. I almost ripped this up and started over this once, but somehow, I think you'd know and be more tense wondering what I'd said. Please believe me, I do love you. It's just hard with some people. Especially Mike, but I'll find a way to tell him. I won't lose you, Alex. I'd give up my friendship with him first.
> 
> I bought a new set of sheets today. I'm keeping them for when you get out. I wanted something that would be OURS. I can't believe the sappy stuff I do, but it just feels right, you know? I have the date circled in red on my calendar - "the day Alex comes home". I hope you don't mind takeout. I can't cook worth a damn. Sam used to say that she thought I was trying to poison her when she was younger. That's why she took over the cooking. Actually I can cook a little, but I hate doing it, so I never told her.
> 
> Do you have a favorite meal? I'm willing to learn. I have a few months to perfect it before you get here.
> 
> I'm so excited about you being here, Alex. You have no idea how much I want to see you in my bed. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you in my arms, and I want to make love to you till neither of us can walk. I'll bet that's one plan you won't argue with! I'm really looking forward to having a real life together. You know, one where we spend enough time together that we actually act like real people and argue and make up and all that shit instead of grabbing at every second because it's all we've got.
> 
> Isn't that the craziest thing? I'm looking forward to fighting with you. I told Sam that the other day, and she just looked at me like I was nuts. Of course, that's nothing new. She wanted to know if she could just give me away to you or if she's going to have to pay you to take me. I should have drowned her when she was a kid. Can I sell her to you? One kid sister, slightly used.
> 
> Oh shit! I just realized how much I've said in this letter. Stuff that's obviously about my life to anyone who knows me even slightly. But I want to be honest with you, want you to know what I'm thinking and feeling. I'm going to find a way to give this to you. Hey, added bonus - I'll get to see you for a few minutes. I'll figure something out.
> 
> _I've got to go now. I love you, Fox_

Mulder sealed the letter and slid it into his pocket. When he got to the prison, he remembered that it was time for the annual TB shots, so he headed over to the infirmary on his break. He checked the schedule and saw that Alex's unit was supposed to come in the next day. A slow grin appeared on his face, and he walked over to Brian.

When Pendrell saw him come in, he decided to take a break too, leaving his assistant to continue. He and Mulder went outside despite the cold to have a quick cigarette.

"How are you, Fox? It's been a while since I saw you."

"It's been less than a week. Mike and I had dinner with your family and whipped your ass at poker, Bri. What are you trying to pull?" He eyed his friend suspiciously.

"Fox, you never visit me here. What do you want?"

Mulder could feel the tide of red creeping over his cheeks.

"Uh huh. I thought so. Let me guess. This involves Krycek somehow."

Shamefaced but determined, Mulder nodded. "He's due to come in tomorrow for his shot, Bri. Could you schedule him for last so no one else will still be here? Please?"

Pendrell sighed. "I hope you know what the hell you're doing, Fox. This is weird, even for you." He saw the impatient expression on his friend's face and gave in. "Okay, he'll be here tomorrow evening at 6:45. Just don't do anything that'll get me in trouble, okay?"

Fox nodded. "Thanks, Brian. You're a real friend."

"Yeah, right. I'm an idiot is what I am." He tossed his butt into the receptacle nearby and turned to go back in. "I'll see you tomorrow, Fox."

The next evening Alex headed over the infirmary, grumbling because he was scheduled so late. He was hungry, but he didn't know when he'd get a chance to eat since he was supposed to be at work. He'd have to go straight there when he got out of here. He knew he was supposed to stop to eat first, but he didn't want to make Tagarelli wait and get him pissed off.

He walked in, noticing that there was only one guy ahead of him waiting his turn. Soon he was up to the doctor and the others were gone, leaving him alone with Pendrell and the guard. The guard stood impatiently waiting for Pendrell to finish up with Krycek so he could go get his own dinner. The doctor had been really slow that day, and they were running behind.

_Jeez, you'd think the doc would want to get done so he could go home._ He _gets to leave this shithole and go have dinner with his family. Move it already, doc!_

Krycek could see that the guard was getting impatient, and he agreed with him. He couldn't imagine what was taking so long. Then he heard a voice behind him.

"Hey, Brian, you ready for dinner?"

It was Mulder! He barely restrained himself from whirling around to stare at the lover he hadn't seen in nearly two months.

"Sorry, Fox, I'm running behind today. It'll just be a few more minutes."

"Okay, no problem, I'm done for the day anyway." Mulder looked around. "Hell, Finch, are you still waiting to go for dinner? Hey, I'm here and there's only one prisoner. Go ahead, and I'll make sure Dr. Pendrell gets out okay."

"You sure, Mulder? Thanks!" The other guard got out before Mulder could change his mind.

As soon as he was gone, Mulder caught Alex in his arms, burying his face in his lover's hair, just inhaling his scent. Alex's arms wrapped tightly around him, and they clung together. Finally Brian cleared his throat.

"Look, I'm sorry, but if we're in here too long, people are going to get suspicious. Even as much as I drew everything out today, it only takes so long to give a shot."

Mulder and Krycek both looked at him in surprise.

"Thanks, Bri," Mulder said, "I never expected you to do that."

Pendrell shrugged. "If you're going to risk your career, the least I could do is give you a couple extra minutes."

"You can be godfather to our first child," Mulder vowed.

Both other men just looked at him.

"Fine, but _you_ can bear it," Alex replied dryly.

"Okay, change of plan. You can have Sam instead."

"Fox, you're nuts." Brian shook his head sadly.

"Not to mention that her fiance would probably object," Alex pointed out.

"Well, if you two are going to be _logical_...." Fox pouted.

Alex laughed and kissed him. "Fox, much as I'm thrilled to see you, Dr. Pendrell's right. You're risking a lot to do this. Why?"

Mulder rubbed his cheek against Alex's, nearly purring with pleasure to be holding him again. "Because I really wanted to see you again. But I wouldn't have taken the chance if I hadn't needed to give you this." He handed the letter to Alex.

Alex took the envelope and turned it over a few times, staring in bewilderment. "A letter? Why didn't you just mail it to me?"

"I couldn't. Not this time. I said too many things in it that were too obviously about me, but I wanted to give it to you. Like I said before, I feel like I'm cheating us both if I change my mind about saying something to you after I write it. We have enough going against us without not being honest with each other."

Alex blinked a few times as he tried to untangle that last sentence.

Pendrell watched them quietly, seeing with some surprise how they touched each other lovingly and teased each other. He hadn't believed it, but they really did seem to love each other. He hoped so because he was pretty sure Fox was going to lose Michael's friendship over this. He wondered how Sam would react, then remembered the familiar way Alex mentioned her and her fiance. Knowing Fox, he'd told Sam about Alex. There was no way Fox would be able to keep on working here once it got out though. He was basically giving up his whole life for Krycek. He didn't seem worth it.

As he reached that point in his musings, he looked back at the other men just as Krycek reached out to Fox, one hand curving along his jaw. He saw amazing tenderness and caring in the gesture, and he realized that this relationship wasn't one-sided. If this didn't work out, they were both going to get badly hurt. But he somehow thought they'd find a way to make it work, and since he didn't want to lose a good friend, he'd get used to Krycek.

With a final kiss, Mulder and Krycek reluctantly separated, moving apart painfully.

"Only six more months," Alex breathed prayerfully.

Mulder smiled crookedly, staring at him wistfully. He took a deep breath and started toward the door. "Go on, you'd better get to work before someone comes looking for you." He looked away for a moment. "Just remember, I'll be waiting for you, Alex."

Alex nodded and left without another word. He couldn't have spoken past the lump in his throat if he'd tried.

"Come on, Fox, you're having dinner at my house tonight," Brian said, hustling his friend toward the door and locking up behind them. He wasn't going to leave Fox alone to brood as he clearly intended to. _Six months. Please, God, let Krycek get paroled as soon as he's eligible. A brooding, depressed Fox Mulder is more than any man should have to deal with._ He steered Mulder over to his car, telling him that he would give him ride home later and drive him into work the next day. Mulder gave in and went home with Brian to relax with his family.

Alex got back to his cell, happier than he'd been in months. Frohike was there, tapping madly at his little machine, sitting at the desk. Alex couldn't resist and came up behind his cell mate and hugged him for an instant. Frohike was totally spooked. He jumped up and pressed himself back against the wall.

"Hey, Krycek, I told you I'm not into that shit."

Alex laughed and sat down on Frohike's bunk, "Relax, I'm just happy."

The little man looked at him strangely, "Yeah, well keep your happy to yourself." He twitched for a second before he looked at his watch, "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

Alex's face fell; in all his excitement at seeing Mulder, he had forgotten he still had a shift to work. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed as he scrambled up and out the door and hurried as fast as he could without getting stopped on his way to the kitchen. Tagarelli screamed at him for a good ten minutes, then screamed about Dr. Pendrell, then just screamed for the hell of it, it seemed. Alex didn't care; he was on too much of a high, and nothing was going to ruin his mood tonight.

As the temperature outside rose with springtime, it grew even hotter inside the prison. By the time June rolled around, it was stifling, especially on the top tier where Alex was housed. Big fans tried to cool the air, but it just moved the hot air around, not providing much relief. Fights broke out among the inmates more frequently in the summer heat, setting everyone's nerves on edge.

Alex was especially grumpy and nervous with his parole hearing just over two months away. He had met with his lawyer _Dad's lawyer_ , and it looked like he had a good case for early release. The psychologist's report that had been completed a few months ago stated that Alex was truly sorry for his crime. His record showed that he hadn't been in any fights since the first day he had been in prison. Alex had also done an exemplary job in the kitchen.

Alex was still nervous though. He was convinced he wasn't going to get paroled. He was sinking into a depression, fast. The more he didn't see Mulder, the more he thought he would _never_ see him. Mulder's letters didn't cheer him up, and when he wrote Mulder, it was barely five sentences strung together.

No matter how explicit Mulder's letters were, Alex failed to get aroused. That's what hurt the most. What would have sent him into a frenzy before now didn't merit a raised eyebrow. Every night he slept hugging one of Mulder's undershirts even though he was convinced he couldn't smell him anymore.

When he wasn't working, Alex lay on his bunk and stared up at the ceiling; he wasn't eating and barely worked out anymore. He was dropping weight and starting to look gaunt. He felt like crying and hitting someone at the same time but could do neither. Instead, he remained stone faced and kept his emotions locked up inside.

Mulder must have sensed something was wrong because his latest letter emphatically stated that he loved him forever and nothing would keep them apart. He pleaded with Alex to keep his faith and to think positive. Mulder was sure that they would be together in a few months.

Alex doubted what Mulder was saying and folded the letter back up without finishing it. He had convinced himself that he was in here forever, so why should he bother trying?

A week later, Alex was lying on his bunk waiting to go to work, when Frohike came into the cell.

"You know you've got mail down here," he said as he tossed two envelopes up to him. "You used to hound the mail guy every day for your stuff, now you don't even care. Why not?"

Alex looked at the two envelopes resting on his chest and slowly picked them up, "Dunno, got less interesting." One was from his parents, the other from an address he didn't recognize in Boston. He tore the envelope open and opened it, revealing a typed letter on a few sheets of heavy, white paper. He thought it might be from his lawyer, but after skimming down a few lines, he realized it wasn't.

> _June 3_
> 
> Dear Alex,
> 
> We've never met, but I feel like I know you already. My brother has told me all about you. I can't tell you my name, but I can give you a hint as to who I am when I say that I can't wait to welcome you into my family with open arms.
> 
> I'm writing you without my brother's consent or knowledge. I'd like this to remain between us, okay? If he found out I sent this, he'd probably freak out. (He likes to think he's still in charge of me). So this is our secret.
> 
> Actually, he's the reason I'm writing. He is so happy when he talks about you, his face lights up and he gets all flushed and flustered. If he wasn't my big old brother, I'd think it was kind of cute. Actually, it is cute.
> 
> My brother hasn't had much in the way of a love life (our secret, remember?). He has had a few relationships, but they weren't very serious. But now he has you, and you're all that matters to him. It's so good to see him in love, to see him focusing his energy on someone. He loves you very, very much. I can't tell you how much I like seeing him like this, so happy and full of life.
> 
> My brother wasn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve; he liked to keep things inside, but now he actually talks to me about his dreams and hopes for the two of you. He's been going crazy buying new things for the house, cleaning, painting, refinishing furniture.
> 
> He's not the same person I've known for my whole life, not the same man who raised me. He's much happier and doesn't take everything so seriously. You did that, you made him this new, better person, and I'd like to thank you for that. Without you, he'd still be doing his same routine day in, day out and not getting any joy out of life. You're his joy. You are his life.
> 
> I have to tell you, I know how he feels. I've also found someone I'm very happy with and we're getting married. We are waiting to set our wedding date until you two can be there together to share in our joy.
> 
> Oh, listen to me, I'm being sappy, but it's true. When you're in love, that's all that matters, right? Who cares if the world is against you, or you're having a bad day? You have someone who loves you, who makes you happy and makes you laugh (no matter how bad his jokes are), and that's all that counts.
> 
> I should keep this short, even if I have babbled for almost two pages. I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this, Alex. You may reply to me at the address on the back of the envelope. There is no need to put a name on your letter or the envelope.
> 
> I can't wait to meet you and see you in person. I don't know if I can wait six weeks.
> 
> _Hugs_

Alex sat up on his bunk and stared at the letter in disbelief. _Samantha._ He had never imagined that she would write him. He slid to the floor and shoved the letter into his back pocket as he left to go to work.

All during his shift, he thought of Samantha's letter and what she had said. Tagarelli had yelled at him a few times for _pissing around_ as he called it. He couldn't help it; he was in a daze, stunned by the fact that she had taken time out of her busy schedule to write to him. _Why would a successful doctor even care?_ When it was time to do the recycling, he shut the door behind him, dug the letter out and read it again. This time he paid more attention to the words.

_You are his joy..._

He read it one more time.

_I can't wait to meet you..._

_He loves you very, very much..._

_We are waiting to set our wedding date..._

_Six weeks..._

Alex sank to the ground as he read the letter over and over again, feeling like he just got hit by a ton of bricks. He had been feeling sorry for himself and worrying over his parole and his _own_ feelings when he should have been thinking about Fox.

Fox. The man who was fixing up his house so they could live in it together. The man who was obviously gushing to his sister about him. The man who loved him. The man who obviously had faith and wasn't giving up on him. The man who was determined that Alex was getting paroled.

_He loves you, you idiot! Why the hell are you moping around for? You should be strong for him!_

"I'm so fucking stupid."

Alex stood and put the letter back into his pocket. He began pacing, angry at himself for being so stupid, so selfish. His anger got stronger and stronger until he punched the bin for the cardboard. It let out a loud bang until he punched it again and again. He didn't realize that he was screaming until Tagarelli and the hacks came in to see what the hell was going on.

They subdued Alex and cuffed him so he wouldn't lash out anymore.

"What the hell you doin', Krycek? Jesus Christ, look at your fucking hand, it's all mangled up. Fuck, Krycek, you ain't getting out of this fuckin' job! I don't care if you gotta put that shit away with your fuckin' teeth!"

Tagarelli looked at the guards. "Well what the fuck _you_ waiting for? Take him to see the doc!"

The guards looked at each other warily, then dragged Alex up to his feet and led him out of the recycle room. Everyone was staring at him as he was led, cuffed, out through the kitchen and down to the hospital.

"Got one more for you, Doc." One of the guards said as they led him through the door to the infirmary. Dr. Pendrell had his back to them and was putting charts and papers away.

"Well, he's going to have to wait for Barnes; I'm going home..." He stopped talking as he turned around and saw who it was. He gave Alex a weak smile and looked at his watch. "Okay, one more, but that's it." Brian led them over to an examination table behind a screen.

The guards uncuffed Alex, allowing him to hop up onto the table. Pendrell looked up at the guards, "You can go. I've got Hutchinson on the floor if I need help."

"You sure? He just beat up a waste container, you know?" The other guard started giggling.

"Yeah, you should lock up your garbage can in case he tries anything." The first guard now started laughing.

Pendrell sighed, "I'll make sure he's a good boy. Go, let me work."

The first guard looked over at Hutchinson, who had come over to see what was up, and nodded. "Okay, Doc, whatever you say." The three guards left together, laughing and talking. "I'll be at the end of the ward if you need me, Doc," Hutchinson called out.

"Yeah, okay." Pendrell gently held Alex's hand, which was raw and bloody. "Can you move your fingers for me?" Alex moved his fingers. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"I don't think it's broken, but I'm going to give you an x-ray just in case." He finished examining Alex's hand, then looked him in the eye. "What happened, Alex?"

"It's nothing, I had an accident."

Pendrell snorted, "Yeah, right. That's what they all say."

Alex didn't know if he could trust Pendrell, although Mulder seemed to completely. He didn't know this man. He wanted to tell him how scared he was, how much he loved Mulder and didn't want to lose him, how he _had_ to get paroled or he'd go nuts. "It was just an accident," he said softly.

Brian frowned but realized he wasn't going to get anywhere. One thing about working in a prison, no one wanted to snitch on anyone or admit to any fault. "Okay, accidental it is. C'mon, let's get you that x-ray."

The x-ray revealed a hairline fracture in one of the bones of his hands. Pendrell recommended a cast for a few weeks, and "no handball." He grinned at Alex, who just shook his head.

"You need better material, Doc, that was pretty bad."

"He's got all kinds of bad jokes; give him time, he'll tell you all of them."

Alex's head whipped around at the sound of the voice. His heart leapt as he saw Mulder standing beside the screen to the examination area.

Pendrell looked down at Alex. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all..." Alex was stunned. God, Mulder looked good. Well, except for his hair, it looked like a weed-whacker had trimmed it off. "What the hell happened to your hair?"

Mulder's hand came up to touch it. "What, you don't like it? It's supposed to be very in right now."

Pendrell rolled his eyes. "It's my fault. My kids were playing barber shop, and they traded the play scissors for real ones."

Alex opened his mouth and laughed. He hadn't laughed in months; it felt good. They made small talk as Pendrell wound the fiberglass strips around his hand and wrist. They all agreed that Mulder's hair would grow back eventually, but until then, he should go see an actual barber to get it trimmed evenly. Finally, Pendrell was done, and he left them alone for ten minutes. "I can't give you any more time than that, I'm sorry."

"Any time is good, Bri. Thank you."

"No problem. Don't touch the cast until it dries." Pendrell said as he left. "Hey, Hutchinson, you watch that Sox game last night?"

Alex and Mulder stared at each other for a minute before they embraced. "I've missed you so much, baby." Mulder said as he kissed up Alex's neck. "I've been worried about you; I've been trying to find any excuse to look at you, but you don't go out into the yard anymore." Mulder pulled away and looked at Alex. "You're so skinny, I can feel your ribs."

Alex reached up with his good hand and caressed Mulder's cheek. "I know. I haven't been feeling all that good lately. I haven't been eating...I..." he drifted off and looked down.

Mulder didn't push him; instead he caressed Alex's back and waited for him to continue.

Alex took a deep breath, "I've been feeling sorry for myself. I was convinced I wouldn't see you again. I told myself so many stupid things..." Tears formed in his eyes, but he didn't look up at Mulder.

Mulder tilted Alex's face up to meet his own gaze. He saw his eyes swimming with tears and smiled. He knew Alex had emotions; it just took him a little time to show them. He moved in and kissed him tenderly, probing into his mouth with his tongue, pressing his hips into the examination table as he started to harden.

Suddenly, Pendrell was back. "I'm sorry, guys, but, Mulder, you have to go."

"I know, break only lasts so long." He caressed Alex's face before kissing him one more time. "I love you. We only have a few more weeks, and then we can be together."

"I love you too." Alex said as Mulder squeezed his knee before he left the examination area. He looked up at Pendrell, "Thank you very much. I owe you big time."

"Yeah, well, I may hold you to that one day."

Alex hopped off the examination table with renewed hope in his heart. The world wasn't against him; hell, people were trying to _help_ him. He held his head up high as the guard escorted him back to his cell. He wasn't going to let this place get to him any longer; he was going to take things one step at a time. The first thing he had to do was get his attitude adjusted to the positive. The next was get paroled and get out of here. Then he could concentrate on making Fox Mulder the happiest man alive.

Finally, the day of Alex's parole hearing arrived, and he walked in, nearly shaking with nervousness but trying to appear confident. He kept repeating to himself _Fox believes in me,_ like a mantra. He _had_ to get out of here. He couldn't expect Fox to wait forever. He sat down and answered all their questions fully and honestly. Well, except for leaving out the detail of how he would be living with Fox Mulder. There was no way he was going to destroy Fox's career that way.

When the board returned their decision that he was ready for parole, for long moments, he could only sit and stare at them in stupefied amazement. No matter how much he'd told himself that he could do this, deep down he hadn't believed that he would get what he so desperately wanted. Finally a huge smile broke across his face, and he barely restrained himself from leaping to his feet and hugging the board members. He was glad that Michael had opted not to attend, wanting to move on with his life. Not only might his silently accusing presence have affected the decision, it would have hurt him to see Alex getting released. Alex didn't want to hurt him anymore.

He walked back to his cell in a daze, looking around for the last time, barely noticing Frohike who was asking him how the hearing went. He eyed his few clothes and personal possessions and couldn't imagine wanting to ever see any of them again. All he wanted were the letters Fox had sent him. He gathered them up from the box where he kept them in his locker and ignored everything else.

He finally noticed Frohike and grinned at him, hugging the little man, who yelped and squirmed away.

"Cool it with that shit, Krycek! I told you I don't swing that way!"

Alex only laughed. "You're looking at a free man, Fro! I am out of here! Take anything you want that won't put you over your limits. I don't ever want to see any of this stuff again. Have a good life, and try to stay out of trouble."

With that Alex turned back to the waiting guard and indicated that he was ready to leave.

As soon as Mulder heard that Alex had been paroled, he headed directly for Skinner's office. The lieutenant regarded him curiously, wondering what brought Mulder to his office, saying that he had to see him immediately.

Mulder walked in and handed him an envelope. "Lt. Skinner, I am tendering my resignation with two weeks notice, starting today. I have already been approved for vacation for that period, so I won't be back after I leave today."

"This is rather sudden, Mr. Mulder, although you seem to have planned it for a while."

"I'm sorry for that, sir. I _have_ been thinking about it, but I only just reached a decision."

"And may I ask what brought you to this decision?"

Mulder hesitated, then remembered a conversation he'd had with Alex at Christmas. He'd told Alex how he'd fallen into being a guard because it was the best-paying job he could get while trying to raise Sam and how he'd had other dreams. Alex had told him that he wanted him to go for his dreams. When he'd objected, pointing out that college cost a lot of money and he would have to support himself somehow, Alex had replied that he had enough money to take care of them forever even if neither of them ever worked another day in their lives. Mulder didn't want to sponge off Alex, but when he'd said that, Alex had looked incredibly hurt. It had taken Mulder a while to find out why, but finally Alex had admitted that he'd thought they were partners, which to him meant that each provided what the other needed. It wasn't a matter of sponging; it was only common sense to use what they had. Put like that, Mulder had seen his point and apologized. Remembering the form his apology had taken, he hastily thought about something else. Quitting or not, he didn't need to be sporting a hard-on in Skinner's office.

"I never really wanted to be a CO, sir, and now I have the opportunity to try something else. I want to take it."

Skinner frowned slightly. He'd hate to lose Mulder, who was a damned good CO, but if the man was unhappy in his career, he should make a change.

"May I ask what changed?"

Mulder took a deep breath, then burned his bridges behind him. "I've fallen in love, and I don't think our relationship would be favorably viewed if I were to continue working here. He's offered to help me manage going back to school, and I want to do it."

"He?" Skinner questioned.

"Yes," Mulder replied defiantly.

"Mulder, despite what you may have heard, it is not the policy of this institution to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation."

Mulder laughed. "That may be true on paper, sir, but you and I both know that it would never be accepted. That's why I've been very careful to keep it secret all these years. But even if that weren't true, it still would cause problems. You see, sir, the man I'm involved with is Alex Krycek."

Skinner's jaw dropped. He was shocked speechless, gaping at Mulder. "K-k-kry-krycek?" he eventually stammered.

"Yes, sir. Now that he's been paroled, I just want to take him home and be with him. Working here would make that impossible, even if he didn't want me to try what I've always dreamed of. I'm not going to let anything interfere with us being together."

Skinner had managed to regain some semblance of calm. "All right, Mr. Mulder, given these details, I have to agree that it is for the best for you to resign. In fact, you may leave now. You needn't bother to finish your shift."

"Sir?" Mulder was surprised and hurt that Skinner would throw him out immediately because of what he'd said.

Skinner saw Mulder's reaction and smiled. "I'm not throwing you out in disgust, Mulder. But Krycek is on his way out right now, and I'd imagine you'd like to leave with him."

Mulder smiled back and held his hand out. "Thank you, sir. I'd like to say that it has been a pleasure working with you."

Skinner shook his hand. "Likewise, Mulder. And good luck to you both." _You're going to need it._

Mulder hurried out of the prison for the last time, hoping he hadn't missed Alex. He didn't think Alex had told his parents that he was scheduled to be paroled that day or asked them to pick him up. He hoped not; he wanted to take Alex home and be alone with him. He was in luck. Only a couple of minutes after he pulled his car up outside the main gate, he saw Alex walk out, wearing the suit he'd worn for his trial and carrying a cardboard box.

Mulder grinned and climbed out of the car, leaning against it and waiting as Alex walked toward him, both of them ignoring the perimeter guards who stared at them. Alex walked straight into Mulder's waiting arms, dropping the box to wrap his own arms around his lover. They stood like that for long moments before Alex raised his head from Mulder's shoulder, and their lips met in a long, sweet kiss.

Eventually, Mulder raised his head again and cupped Alex's face in his hands. "I love you."

The smile that spread across Alex's face was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "I love you too, Fox. And I'm never going to let you go."

"Good, because I don't intend to let you go either. Now let's go home."

Alex nodded eagerly, picking up his box of letters and placing them in the back seat before sliding into the passenger seat beside Fox. He could hardly wait to see Fox's, their, home.

All the way home, Alex gripped Mulder's hand, caressing the back with his thumb. He didn't look back as they sped away from the prison to the town where Mulder lived. He looked through the window at the blue sky, the green grass and small farms that were along the highway. He was grateful for this, for the freedom he now had. Business went on as usual as they approached the small town. Kids played in the street; people sat on their porches and drank lemonade. There were small shops along the way, selling their wares from peat moss to ice cream. It seemed strange to him that a mere few miles away, there were people who would never get to do all this again.

He stuck his hand out of the open window, letting the air pass over it. He sighed and sat back in his seat; it was wonderful having the sun shine on his face as he smelled fresh cut grass. All this was made even better by having his lover beside him. He knew he had a huge smile on his face, but he couldn't help himself.

"Is it how you remember it?" Mulder asked. "Outside, I mean."

Alex opened his eyes and squeezed Mulder's hand, "It's all that and more."

Finally, they pulled up to a modest two-story house in an older, yet well-kept neighborhood. They got Alex's box out of the trunk and went inside. Alex noticed Mulder didn't use a key.

"Don't you lock your door?"

Mulder laughed, "Why? All the bad guys are in the jail."

Alex shook his head but laughed anyway, "I guess you're right."

"Everyone in this town either works at the prison or is related to someone who is. No one's going to rob anybody here."

Mulder led them inside, and Alex could smell fresh paint and that clean smell that you got after all dust was obliterated. They walked forward and were now in a living room modestly furnished, yet tastefully decorated. The hardwood floor gleamed; the wood of the furniture shone. Alex was afraid to move.

"Put your box down, and I'll give you the five cent tour," Mulder said.

Alex just stood there, biting his lip. "Where?"

"I dunno, anywhere." Mulder took the box from Alex and placed it on the couch. He must have sensed Alex's apprehension because he went over to Alex and hugged him. "I figure if we don't sit down and we eat in the bathtub, we can keep this place clean." He laughed, "Hey, c'mon, it was a joke."

"You didn't have to go to any trouble for me." He stopped short; he couldn't let Mulder know about Sam's letter.

"Ah, it was time, anyway. Sam's been nagging at me to get rid of some junk and fix the place up. It does look nice, though, with everything refinished. I'm glad you could tell."

Alex smiled and gave him a kiss. "It's a beautiful place. Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby, anything for you. This is your house, too. Don't be afraid to touch things, to use things." Mulder pulled away. "But I'm not finished my tour yet." He turned and waved his hand, "This is the living room. Give me a day and I'll have the coffee table covered in newspapers and glasses."

Alex laughed. He followed Mulder through the living room to the back of the house where he found himself in a large kitchen.

"This is the kitchen, obviously. There used to be a pantry off to the side, but I took it out to make it bigger. I never used it, anyway. A couple of years ago, both the fridge and stove crapped out at the same time, so they are both new. I also added the sliding doors and deck." Mulder opened a set of vertical blinds that revealed a large set of sliding doors facing onto a deck and a spacious back yard. A propane-fueled barbecue was on the deck. He motioned to a door leading off of the kitchen, "There's a washroom there, and this door leads to the basement."

Alex nodded, taking it all in. Mulder was certainly handy, that was for sure. He followed him through to the living room again and up the stairs. They creaked in places, and the banister was worn from many people using it over the years. Mulder went down the hallway to the opposite end and started with the room there.

"Here's Sam's room. I'm still not allowed to touch anything in there."

Alex looked in and saw a bed and a dresser, and pink walls. A collection of antique dolls sat in the corner.

"Whatever you do, don't touch the dolls. She nearly poked my eye out one day when I messed with them." He shut the door and went to the next room, "This is the _office_ if you can call it that." A computer was on a desk against the far wall, facing the window. There were bookshelves along another wall, almost bending from the amount of books piled on them. A small ghetto blaster was on the side of the desk, and an assortment of CDs was lying beside it. There was a reading lamp and a folded up futon in the corner.

"Sam bought me the computer and makes me e-mail her every day. I use it to look up a few things, but I'm not on it all that much. The futon came in handy when she brought her college friends home to stay."

Mulder brushed past Alex and pointed out the linen closet and the large bathroom at the other end of the hall. "Now, remember to close the blinds when you're having a shower. For some reason, the McTaggarts next door put a window facing this way when they renovated last year. Mrs. McTaggart got an eyeful one day when I was getting ready for work, and I think I scared the shit out of her."

Alex laughed; he loved this Fox Mulder. He was fun and sexy and relaxed. When they had been alone together in their room in the prison, Mulder had let his guard down somewhat but not completely. This was the man he could love for the rest of his life.

The gold flecks in Mulder's eyes glittered as they reached the last door. "This is our room."

Alex felt a surge of warmth run through him at the sound of that. _Our room._

There was an antique bed made of walnut, that had belonged to Mulder's great grandmother, pushed back against one wall. There were two matching dressers side by side and bedside tables on either side of the bed. A large chest with a padded top stood at the foot of the bed.

Alex was speechless as he saw the large bed and warm furnishings. The walls were painted a dark green, textured bits of light green highlighting the dark color, making it a cozy escape. The sheets and comforter were also green, alternated with white and cream. He couldn't wait to sleep in such a luxurious bed. _Sleep beside my lover._

"I wanted to match the color of your eyes," Mulder said, "but the woman at the hardware store said this was the closest she could come to _sparkling like emeralds floating on the sea._ ".

Alex took Mulder's hand in his and kissed it.

"I don't really have anywhere else to put the dressers." Mulder said, "The closet takes up most of this one wall." He went over to one of the dressers and opened a drawer. "I...uh...I bought you a few things. Jeans, a few shirts, underwear, socks. Things I thought you would need. I also bought you a toothbrush and a new razor..." Mulder's face flushed. "But if you don't like them, we can..."

Alex stopped what Mulder was saying by covering his mouth with his own. He pulled away, reluctantly and looked into Mulder's eyes. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful. Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Yes, you have, and I love you just as much." Mulder reached out and brought Alex toward him, kissing him softly on his lips, lingering as long as he liked. His hands wandered up and undid Alex's tie, removing it slowly before he pushed his jacket over his shoulders and laid it on the chest at the foot of the bed. Mulder started unbuttoning the shirt, kissing his way down as the skin was exposed.

Alex arched into Mulder's touch as the lips moved down to his chest. It had been so long, and he wanted this so much. His hands clenched into fists as Mulder moved down to suck on his nipple, as he was finding it hard to keep his emotions in check. He was shaking; he couldn't believe the love that was pouring out of Mulder.

He decided to get it together and help out a little bit to keep from shivering so much. He reached forward and realized that Mulder was still wearing his uniform. He undid the heavy, black belt that still held handcuffs and an empty holster and slid it over Mulder's hips. It fell to the floor with a thud. He tried to work on the fastenings to Mulder's pants, but his fingers were shaking too much.

"Relax, Alex. Let me do this. Let me make love to you the way I've been dreaming about for months."

Alex moaned encouragement as Mulder swiftly stripped him of his remaining clothing and lay him gently onto the bed. It was so soft, the softest thing he'd ever felt. He watched as Mulder removed the rest of his clothing and stood there, running his fingers up and down Alex's body, making him quiver even more.

"I need you, Fox."

"I know you do, baby. I need you, too." Mulder lay down beside Alex and kissed him, his hands moving all over his torso, tweaking a nipple, and back down to the curls at his groin.

Alex gasped as Mulder's mouth moved off of his and began moving down his body leaving a wet trail behind. His nipples were hard, tight buds; his cock was aching. Mulder moved down to dip his tongue in and out of his bellybutton while his fingers drew lazy circles on his thigh. Alex gripped the sheets in his hand as Mulder's mouth went lower and lower until it descended on his cock.

He sucked in his breath as Mulder moved his tongue over and around his cock, pausing to suck the cream off of the top. He closed his eyes, savoring the tenderness of Mulder's actions. Mulder sucked and nibbled on his hardness as one of his hands cupped his balls and caressed the fragile skin. Suddenly the mouth was gone, and Alex opened his eyes to see Mulder coating his fingers with lube.

A whimper of pleasure left his mouth as Mulder moved the slick digits into his ass. He felt as Mulder's lips kissed his thighs, nipping lightly at the skin. The fingers in his ass were stretching him, making him wider. He opened his legs and arched his hips, wanting them deeper, wanting them more. He shuddered as a third finger joined the first two and dragged across his prostate.

"I want you," he whimpered.

"I want you too, babe. Just give me a minute." Alex watched as Mulder slicked up his large cock before he dragged his legs up over his shoulders. Mulder entered him in one slow glide, bliss showing on his face. "God, you're beautiful, Alex. I wish I could take a picture of you right now."

Alex moaned, "Fuck me, Fox."

Mulder laughed, "You're starting to get demanding already? You've been here less than an hour."

"Please... please... I need you, Fox." Alex was practically sobbing.

Mulder moved his hips back and forth. "You like that, baby."

Alex arched his back and thrust his hips up for more. "Yeah, I like that. Please...."

Alex met Mulder's mouth as he was kissed. Mulder started to move his hips again, setting a pounding rhythm. Alex held onto Mulder's shoulders, his fingers digging in. This felt so good; he'd never imagined this feeling so good. He wasn't going to last long; it was coming; he could feel the tingle in the base of his balls, fanning out up his spine. He bit his lip and stifled the moan coming from his throat.

"Don't hold back. No one can hear you. Let it out. I told you that when I got you home I was going to make you scream with pleasure."

Alex let out a loud cry, more than making up for the silence of the past years. He felt himself come and come, shooting his thick cream over his chest. Mulder also let out a loud moan, saying Alex's name over and over again. Alex then felt something strange; he was shaking and his face felt wet.

"Baby, you okay?"

Alex tried to answer, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a sob. He felt Mulder wipe him clean, then come to lie down beside him, holding him and rocking him gently.

"Shhhh, it's okay, babe. You're with me, it's okay."

Alex turned his head to Mulder's chest and cried like he'd never cried before. All that pent up frustration and agony over the past two years had finally been let loose. Alex always kept his feelings bottled up, but today, now, he had to let them out.

Mulder held him until he finished, dropping kisses on his forehead, not questioning or accusing, only soothing, kissing his tears away. When he was done, Alex kissed the wet chest beneath him. Finally spent, he allowed himself to relax and drift off to sleep.

He woke up a few hours later, feeling much better for the rest and discovered that he was alone in the bed. He got up and dressed in a pair of black jeans and t-shirt that Mulder had bought for him and went looking for his missing lover. He found Mulder in the kitchen, muttering under his breath and lightly dusted with flour.

Alex leaned back against the door jamb, enjoying the chance to watch Fox and also amused by his grumbles. "What's the matter, babe?"

Mulder nearly jumped out of his skin when Alex spoke unexpectedly. He turned around, a pouty expression on his face. "I wanted to make Chicken Florentine for you since you said it was your favorite meal," Alex wondered why he had flour out in that case but didn't dare ask, "but it's a total disaster. I'm hopeless in a kitchen!"

"Fox, I don't expect you to cook for me," he laughed. "You already told me that you can't. We can order out, or I can cook. My mother insisted on gourmet cooking lessons when I was younger. I make a mean Boeuf Bourgignon, let me tell you. And you haven't lived till you've tasted my Key Lime Pie. But I'm just as happy with a pizza and a beer." As soon as he said that, his eyes lit up. "Do you have any beer?"

Mulder handed one to him. He'd stocked up, knowing that had to have been one of the things Alex had missed in prison. "Maybe you should sit down and drink it now," he suggested.

"Why?" Alex eyed him suspiciously, wondering what Mulder was up to.

"We're not going to be alone for long. While you were asleep, I called Sam to let her know the good news. She'd never have forgiven me if I hadn't let her know that you were here with me. Anyhow, she's coming tomorrow. She says she wants to meet her new brother."

Alex blinked in surprise. "'Brother'?"

"I suppose technically it should be brother-in-law, but let's not quibble."

"Your sister thinks of me as a brother?"

Mulder suddenly understood that Alex was nearly overwhelmed by Sam's acceptance. He'd been an only child, so this meant a lot to him. "You _are_ her brother now, Alex. Even the law will say so after we've lived together for a couple of years. You're part of the family now."

Alex smiled tearfully. "Thank you. Thank you for giving me my life back and making it so much better than it's ever been."

Mulder smiled. "We're gonna make a new life together, babe."

Alex frowned. "What about... Michael?"

"I'll have to talk to him," Mulder said, an uneasy expression crossing his face, "but if I have to make a choice, I'll never give you up."

Alex stepped into Fox's arms, praying that Mulder wouldn't lose a friendship that meant so much to him over him. He made an effort to break the somber mood. "So, where's my pizza?"

Mulder laughed at him and pulled out the phonebook to order something edible. While they waited, they cleaned up the aftermath of Mulder's attempt to cook, and Alex truly felt like he'd come home.


	5. Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Fox start to adjust to a life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written with Nicole S. Originally posted October 1999.

Alex woke up in Mulder's arms, and for a moment, he was afraid to open his eyes, afraid that it was all a dream. But he did open them, and Mulder was there, wrapped around him, his heartbeat a comforting thud beneath Alex's cheek. For the first time in a very long time, Alex Krycek smiled when he woke up.

"Good morning," came the sleep-roughened voice from above his head.

Alex smiled and snuggled closer, unwilling to move just yet. He'd dreamt of this for so long. "Is it still morning?" he murmured, remembering how they'd made love again and again the night before, then talked for hours. He didn't think there was a single instant in either of their lives that the other didn't know about now.

"Probably not," Mulder replied. "Which means we really should get up. Sam could get here at any minute."

"Too late, big brother," a laughing feminine voice put in, making both of them squeeze their eyes shut in dismay. They felt the mattress shift as she sat down, and Fox fumbled blindly for the sheet, yanking it up to their waists. "You must be Alex," she continued. "Hi. I'm Sam."

Alex opened his eyes again to find a hand extended practically under his nose. He sighed, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and shook it. This was not how he'd pictured their first meeting.

Sam grinned at the two obviously embarrassed men. She hadn't planned this, but she was rather glad that it had happened. Seeing them like this, all their defenses down, bodies entwined together like some Chinese puzzle, it was clear that they really did love each other. When Alex glanced up at Fox and their eyes met, she could see the love in the look. The last of her doubts were put to rest.

"Hi Fox," she chirped, leaning over, one hand on Alex's shoulder for balance, to kiss her brother's cheek.

Mulder glared at her. "Would you please get out of here so we can get up?"

"I'm a doctor, big brother. I've seen it all before."

Fox growled, but she only grinned at him unrepentantly. Alex couldn't help it; he burst into laughter. Sam smiled with satisfaction and headed for the kitchen, telling them that she'd put the coffee on.

As soon as she left, Mulder let out a heartfelt groan. "I shoulda sold her when she was a kid."

Alex snickered, though the flush of embarrassment hadn't yet faded from his cheeks. "Well, you have to admit it was a memorable introduction."

Fox snorted. "I'd really rather my kid sister didn't remember quite so much of you."

Alex eyed him, unsure if that was protectiveness for his sister or jealousy of him speaking.

Fox sighed. "Look, I know I can trust you both - And I do! - but I also know that you never even considered a man as a lover. And you're beautiful. There's no way I'm going to be comfortable with you being naked around a woman." He looked sheepish when he finished, but he meant every word.

Alex shook his head in disbelief. "I love you, you idiot. I don't want anyone else."

Mulder chuckled at that oh-so-romantic declaration, and so did Alex when he realized what he'd said.

"Come on," Alex urged, getting to his feet and pulling on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt from the clothes Fox had bought for him. "If we don't get out there soon, your sister is going to come in here after us again."

With that to inspire him, Fox was up and dressed similarly in moments. Remembering the night before, he knew they really ought to shower, but it wasn't as if Sam didn't know that they were lovers. Coffee first, then shower. Preferably with her out of the house.

They made it into the kitchen with only one stop to kiss along the way, a miracle of self-restraint in Mulder's opinion and one he didn't really appreciate. He glared at his much-beloved younger sister, whom he wished on another planet at that moment. Sam and Alex both snickered, and he bestowed a wounded look on his lover.

_Great, just great. They have the same damned sense of humor. I'm gonna be outnumbered for the rest of my life._ He grumbled mentally for a moment, then watched his sister and lover joking together as if they'd known each other all their lives. _I'm damned lucky to have them._ He suddenly stood up and swept them into his arms, startling them. "I love you," he stated, getting happy smiles from both in response.

Sam had gone out after breakfast, saying she knew they needed some time alone. "I'll get together with some of my friends, then I'll meet you for dinner. Did you want to go out somewhere to celebrate or stay in tonight?"

Before Fox could say a word, Alex had replied, "Stay in. I want to celebrate in our home. Nothing could be better."

Samantha had given him a look of gratitude Fox couldn't see. She had known perfectly well that Alex was trying to minimize his public appearances in Fox's hometown to give her brother a chance to decide how he wanted to handle it.

After she left, Alex and Fox took a long shower together, only dragging themselves out when the hot water began to run out. Wrapped in a towel, Fox headed down to the living room to find the family photo albums that Alex wanted to see, planning to bring them back up to the bedroom so they could curl up in bed together while they looked through them.

Albums in hand, he turned to go back upstairs to the bedroom only to stop in shock.

"Hey, Fox, what's up? My mom wasn't feeling well and called me to come up and help her with some stuff. Once I get everything done, I thought we could get together for a pizza and some beers tonight."

"Mike." Fox felt like he was moving in slow motion, everything seeming to be at a distance, almost like there was a sheet of glass between him and the world.

"Hey, what's up, Fox? You're not mad that I let myself in, are you?" Mike was puzzled. He and Fox had been letting themselves into each other's homes since they were kids. Granted he hadn't done it often since they stopped being lovers, but it didn't seem to warrant the shock Fox was displaying.

"What's taking so long, Fox? Did you get lost?" A laughing voice came from the hallway, getting louder as the person came downstairs, and Mike suddenly realized that he might have interrupted something. Before he could say anything, the man stepped into the room, wet hair slicked back and a towel wrapped around his waist. The newcomer froze, his eyes widening as he stared at Michael.

Michael stared back, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"Krycek?" he whispered almost soundlessly, making Mulder flinch. "Krycek!" he snarled, taking only a single step toward the man he hated before Mulder yelled "no!" and jumped in front of him.

"Fox?" Mike couldn't believe this. There had to be some kind of explanation.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I never meant to hurt you," Mulder offered sadly, never moving from between Mike and Alex.

"That's _Krycek_ ," Michael practically spat the name. "That's the man who killed my Jamie."

Listening to them, Alex closed his eyes, his belly clenching as if against a blow. He was desperately afraid that he was about to lose Fox, that their time together was about to end. _No!_ he thought desperately. _It's not enough! Damnit, you can't take him away from me after less than a day._

Michael looked over Fox's shoulder at the man who had the same stony expression now as he'd had in the courtroom. He clearly didn't feel a thing, didn't give a damn about anyone except himself. Michael's lip curled up, and he pushed Fox aside, determined to kill the little bastard who'd taken Jamie away from him. He was shocked when Fox grabbed him by the shoulder, swinging him around, and punched him. He reeled back a step and simply stared.

"Please, Mike, don't make me do this," Fox begged, firmly planted between Michael and Krycek.

"What are you doing, Fox?" Mike demanded in bewilderment. "That's Krycek!" He sounded like a hurt child who'd been betrayed by a trusted adult, and Mulder flinched.

"I know, Mike. But I can't let you hurt him." Mulder's voice was raw with his pain.

"Is this some kind of work program and you got stuck with him?" Michael begged Fox to provide some kind of reasonable explanation.

"No, Mike." Fox had to look away and take a deep breath before continuing. "Alex lives here. With me."

"Fox?" Mike pleaded.

Fox couldn't meet his eyes. He stepped back until his back was pressed against Krycek, and he reached back to take one of Krycek's hands in his, lacing their fingers together tightly. Hanging on tightly for courage, he forced himself to raise his gaze and meet Mike's bewildered, betrayed pain head on.

"I love him, Mike."

Michael actually flinched as if a body blow had been landed. His eyes met Fox's again, and there was nothing except anger, hatred and disgust in their depths. "I don't know you." And he turned and walked out.

Mulder stood staring after his best friend, shivering with reaction, and Alex wrapped his arms around him, trying to comfort him. Mulder raised desolate, muddy brown eyes to him.

"He hates me. I've lost him."

Alex hugged him even more tightly for an instant, then carefully released him and stepped back. "That's not necessarily true. All you have to do is go after him and explain that it was some kind of temporary insanity. He'll forgive you. He's praying for you to do exactly that right now."

"No!" Mulder exclaimed sharply. "He's been my best friend all my life, and I'll miss him, but I wouldn't give you up for anyone, not even Sam. I love you."

"God, what a pair of fools we are," Alex groaned. "Okay, babe, you're stuck with me now."

"Good." Mulder gazed longingly toward the door one more time, then lay his head on Alex's shoulder and wept. He wept for himself, for losing his friend; he wept for Michael, who had lost his lover _and_ his friend; he wept for Jamie, whose death was the catalyst that had started all of this; and he wept for Alex, whose life had been turned topsy turvy partially through his own actions and partially through Mulder's.

Alex urged him back toward the bedroom, where they curled up together, Mulder just needing the comfort of human contact. Mulder eventually dozed off, exhausted by his emotional outburst, but Alex lay wide awake, watching him. _God, Fox, I have completely fucked up your entire life. I swear to you I will make you happy from now. Just give me the chance. Please._ Eventually he too dozed off, wrapped protectively around his lover like a mother bear protecting her cub.

By the time Sam came home for dinner, both men were downstairs arguing over which kind of Chinese food they wanted to order. The incidents of the day were hidden from her as they ribbed each other.

"Fox, chop suey is just way too plain." Alex grabbed the menu from Wong's out of Mulder's hand and looked at it. "Hang on a second, let's see what else is on this menu. What about chicken with black bean sauce? Or lo mein?"

"Black beans? Why are they black? Are they bad? What's lo mein?"

Both Alex and Sam laughed. "Black beans are black because they're black! It's good stuff. I'll have to make some Cajun for you one day. Lo mein are thick noodles that are incredibly good." Alex thought for a minute, his mouth salivating. "Better yet, where's your phone book, let's get Szechwan instead."

"We don't have a Szechwan restaurant."

"What do you mean, you don't have a Szechwan restaurant?"

"Fox is lucky to have Chinese food as it is," Sam said. "Spicy pork with peanut sauce, lemongrass soup with little dumplings and shrimp with chili peppers and noodles are a tad weird for this neck of the woods."

"Oh God, that just makes me want it more."

"I'm telling you, Wong's has great food. I'm going to order it whether you like it or not because if I wait any longer, we're going to starve."

Alex and Sam gave each other a defeated look but then started laughing. Mulder rolled his eyes as he started to dial.

They waited an hour before the food came, and all three of them dug into it ravenously. Alex was apologetic to Mulder after tasting it; it was quite good. Then the three of them settled down to watch a movie on TV. Sam curled up in Mulder's chair, the two men wrapped around each other on the couch. About midnight they all went to bed, Mulder and Alex making slow, quiet love before falling asleep.

Early the next morning, Mulder found himself wide-awake. He looked at the clock, 3:29 am. He groaned to himself; he hated it when he woke after only a few hours sleep. He lay there for a few minutes with his eyes closed and tried to will himself back to sleep. _Nope, not going to work. And now I have to pee._

He tried to move but found Alex wrapped around him like a python, his weight pressing comfortably down upon him. Slowly, he disentangled himself, leaving Alex to hug his pillow, sighing softly in his sleep.

Mulder padded to the bathroom and flicked on the light, his eyes squinting in the harsh contrast from the previous darkness. He shut the door behind him, stumbled to the toilet and relieved himself. He flushed then washed his hands. Catching his reflection in the mirror, he noticed a large bruise around his left nipple. He also had a hickey just above his navel.

He smiled as he thought of what he and Alex had done in the past 24 hours. He hadn't come that often in years, since... _Mike._ Mulder shut his eyes as the events of yesterday suddenly replayed in his mind. He saw the hurt in Michael's eyes; he saw himself fucking _punching_ his best friend to defend Alex.

He shook his head, telling himself he wouldn't do this. He told himself he wouldn't dwell on what had happened yesterday. He had meant what he said when he told Alex he wouldn't give him up for anyone. He loved him _that_ much.

Mulder opened his eyes and looked at himself. If Mike couldn't accept him and Alex together then tough! Mike had to deal with the fact that _he_ had left _Fox_ and gone on with his life and found other people, and now it was Mulder's turn to find someone to love.

_But_ my _lover killed_ his _lover. And the look on his face when I told him I loved Alex..._

Mulder groaned in frustration, willing the voice inside his head to be silent. It was done. He loved Alex and Alex loved him. It wasn't just sex; they had some sort of bond. Something he had felt from the first time they were together.

Deep in his heart, Mulder knew that they were meant to be together, and no one, nothing was going to come between them. "No one said it was going to be easy," he said to his reflection.

He flicked off the light and padded back to bed where Alex was still hugging the pillow. Mulder crawled in beside him and settled down, putting his arm around his lover in a protective embrace.

"Nothing's coming between us," he whispered to Alex before dropping a kiss onto the sleeping man's forehead. Mulder lay there thinking for a few hours, until sleep finally claimed him.

Mulder woke to tender kisses whispering across his jaw. He smiled but didn't open his eyes as the kisses moved down his neck to his chest. He could feel hands caressing his hips and thighs with smooth, fluid strokes.

"Good morning," a voice whispered.

"Good morning," he said, his eyes still closed.

"Sleep well?" The mouth moved down further, kissing his chest all over.

"Yes," he lied. "You?"

"Mmmmm, yes. I dreamt of what I was going to do to you when I woke up."

Mulder licked his lips, "Yeah, and what's that?" His eyes suddenly flew open and he gasped when Alex bit his already bruised nipple.

"Make you make noises like that."

Mulder moaned as Alex continued the assault on the nipple. They made love slowly, Alex paying special attention to every inch of Mulder's body. Mulder was brought to the brink time and time again before Alex allowed them both their release. They lay there afterward, limbs twined together until Mulder insisted they clean themselves up, lest they stick together.

"But I don't _mind_ if we stick together. Then I could kiss you all day," Alex said, his tongue tracing around Mulder's lips.

"If you're trying to get me excited, forget it." He sighed, "It's exhausted."

"It is?" Alex's eyes glittered. "We'll just see about that."

Alex was kissing him again, his tongue tracing every inch of the interior of Mulder's mouth. Alex's hands were also all over his body, moving down to cup his ass and tease his entrance then back up to massage his shoulders and arms. While this was going on, Alex's hips were moving back and forth, rubbing their cocks together. Mulder could feel Alex's cock stiffen and start to poke into his hip. He was surprised when he felt his own cock come alive again; he had been sure it was down for the count.

When the teasing, kissing and rubbing had reached its peak, Mulder dragged Alex to the shower and took him, hard and rough, against the tiles, biting into his shoulder as he came, the hot water steaming up around their naked bodies. Now he was surely spent; he slumped against Alex's back, breathing hard. Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door.

"You two had better not use up all the hot water, or I'm going to be really pissed off!"

Mulder's face dropped. "Oh no, I forgot she was here," he whispered.

Alex snickered, "Me too."

"C'mon, you two, get out of there."

"Okay, okay. Give us a minute or two," Mulder yelled.

"I'm giving you two minutes _exactly_. After that, I'm coming in, and I don't care _what_ you are doing!"

"Oh shit, she sounds mad," Mulder said. He removed himself from Alex and began to wash him quickly, then himself. Finally, they scurried out of the shower and back to the bedroom to get dressed. "I'm never going to get tired of waking up like this," Mulder said as he kissed Alex again.

"You mean your sister hearing _everything_ we've done in the past hour?"

Mulder groaned, "I'm thankful she has an open mind."

"Let's hope she's hard of hearing."

"She's not, believe me. As a kid she could hear me open a bag of chips two flights down in the basement." Mulder grabbed Alex one more time and caressed his ass. "I meant waking up with you in my arms and making love over and over again. I'll never tire of that, babe. Although I could use a nap in between sessions."

Alex laughed and pulled away. "We'd better stop or we're going to be here all day, and I don't think Sam will appreciate that."

"She'll get over it. Is staying here with me such a bad thing?" Mulder grabbed for his lover one more time.

"Only when I'm _this_ hungry. C'mon, I'll make you breakfast."

They went downstairs, and Mulder took a seat at the table while Alex rooted through the fridge and the cupboards.

"I can see why you took out that pantry, you don't have any food to put in it!"

"There's food."

Alex turned around. "Fox, a hardened block of brown sugar, ten boxes of Kraft Dinner and an old jar of pickles does not constitute food. You don't even have staples such as eggs."

"I had eggs," Mulder retorted. "But I broke them all when I tried to make you Chicken Florentine."

Alex laughed, "Fox, there aren't any eggs in Chicken Florentine."

"I know, but the carton fell out of the fridge, and then I stepped on it."

Alex threw back his head and started laughing louder.

"It's not funny," Mulder giggled.

"Yes, it is," Alex said as he wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes from laughing. "Give me the keys to your car, and I'll go grocery shopping. I'll make sure I buy enough to stock this kitchen appropriately."

"I'm not giving you the keys to my car."

"Why not?"

"When's the last time you drove? Is your license even valid anymore? Besides, do you have any money to buy these groceries with?"

Alex opened his mouth to argue, but then he stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know."

Mulder smirked, "I guess that's something we'll have to do this week. We'll see about your license and accessing your bank accounts. Meanwhile, get your shoes on, and I'll take you two for breakfast when Sam is ready, and then we can go grocery shopping."

Alex licked his lips and thought fast; he didn't like the idea of them going out in public together this soon. His stomach grumbled as he said, "I'm not that hungry. Why don't I give you a list, and you can go shopping for me?"

"Bullshit, I can hear your stomach rumbling from over here. And I don't want to be responsible if I buy you the wrong things."

"I trust you..." Alex knew he wasn't putting on a very good show, and Mulder could sense it because he walked right over and stood in front of him.

"What's wrong?"

"I...do you think we should be seen together? I mean it's very new for a lot of people who live in small towns. Two men...together..." _An ex-con and an ex-CO._

"Fuck 'em."

Alex raised his eyebrows but said nothing. They _were_ going to have to come out sooner or later. This _was_ Mulder's hometown... He smiled weakly but kissed Mulder on the cheek just the same. "Okay, I'll get ready."

Breakfast passed without incident at the diner that was located across from the hospital. Mulder was right; they did have very good waffles. Alex savored every bite; he hadn't had waffles in so long. They ate leisurely, Mulder and Sam filling him in about the details of the town. Alex noticed how they would argue with each other one minute, yet agree with each other the next. They also jabbed each other a lot with their elbows and gave each other looks only siblings could. He felt a twinge of jealousy; being an only child he didn't have that kind of relationship with anyone.

Sam had driven her own car to the diner; she had a baby shower to attend that afternoon. She gave both men a kiss and left them to finish by themselves.

When Alex had had his fill of local gossip and coffee, he and Mulder drove to the supermarket. It was in a complex on the outskirts of town with a large hardware store and various other "big box" stores surrounding it.

"This all opened last summer," Mulder said. "It's killing downtown, but we all shop here anyway." He shrugged and selected a shopping cart.

Alex and Mulder went down the aisles, Alex placing many items in the cart that made Mulder's eyebrows rise. At the outset, Alex was nervous, looking around, waiting for someone to look at them strangely. Fortunately, it wasn't that crowded, being a weekday, and he soon relaxed. They had finally gotten to the bakery section, the last section in the store, with a full cart when Alex remembered he had forgotten lemons.

"What do you need lemons for?"

"I can't very well make you eggs benedict without lemons. I need it for the hollandaise sauce."

"Oh, wait, I've got one of those little plastic lemons that has juice inside of it."

Alex turned toward him, horror on his face. "Mulder, that is _not_ real lemon juice."

"Yes, it is; it says it's real on the sticker."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I'll go get a couple of lemons. I'll be right back." He hesitated for a minute, wanting to kiss Mulder but instead shot him a grin before he turned and walked back to the produce department.

Mulder stood there, waiting for Alex to come back, looking at the freshly baked pies that were on display. He couldn't decide if he wanted apple or pecan but didn't want to take both. When he was... _single?_ he smirked at that thought, _Living alone?_ he would have just bought both, taken them home and devoured one for dinner. Now he had Alex the gourmet to cook for him and couldn't wait to try whatever he made for him.

"They have everything here, don't they?" a voice said to Mulder's left.

Mulder turned around to find Bill Slack, one of the guards he had worked with at the prison, talking to him. "Hey, Bill, what's up?"

"Not much, Fox." He surveyed Mulder's full shopping cart. "You've got quite a load there."

Mulder nodded, but an uneasy feeling started to settle in his stomach. The way Bill was looking at him was the same kind of look the COs gave the cons when they were about to question them. "Stocking up."

"I see," Bill said as he leaned in close. "I heard a rumor about you, Mulder."

Mulder licked his lips. The unwritten rule was last names inside, first names outside. He knew this wasn't going to be good.

"I heard that you let some murdering con move in with you, Mulder. I heard that you're some kind of fag, that you've been a fag all along. That true?"

Mulder didn't say anything.

"I worked beside you up in D block for two years. And all that time you were a fag?" Bill's voice lowered, and his mouth turned into a sneer. "Were you thinking of fucking me, Mulder? Huh? What about the other guys? Were you looking at the other COs when we were in the showers after all those baseball games?"

Just then Alex came around the corner and saw the confrontation. Bill looked up and glared at Alex. "Here's your little murdering son-of-a-bitch prag now."

Alex started toward them and was about to say something, but Mulder shook his head slightly. "Bill, I'm sorry you feel that way, but..."

"But what? You're in _love_?" He snorted, "Did you have romantic little interludes during working hours? Moon over each from a distance? Or did you find a way to let this...this...scum fuck you up the ass?" Bill spat, "You make me sick." With that he stormed away.

Mulder's heart sank. He knew people wouldn't welcome their relationship with open arms, but he hadn't expected conflict so soon. _How the hell did he did he figure out anything had happened at work? I thought we were careful? Fuck, who the hell am I kidding? Everyone knows we didn't know each other before he went to prison, so where else could it have started? Oh God, it must be all over town by now._ He felt Alex touch his arm, and he pulled it away sharply before he realized what he was doing. He turned to Alex, "I'm...I..."

"It's okay. Let's just go home."

The ride home was solemnly silent, Alex not knowing what to say. 'Sorry I fucked up your life? Sorry your friends hate you? Sorry the whole town probably knows what we did?' It would sound stupid. They got home and lugged the groceries inside. Alex started to put them away but didn't know where anything went.

"You're going to have to tell me where you want everything. I'm not sure where it should all go."

Mulder was sitting at the kitchen table staring off into space.

"Fox?"

"What?" Mulder snapped back to reality.

Alex put the bottle of sesame oil down and went over to sit beside Mulder. He took his hands in his and kissed them. "Baby, I'm sorry..."

"You don't need to be sorry for anything. It's their problem if they can't accept it." The last words came out as a whisper.

Alex knew Mulder was putting on a brave front; he could see the tears brimming in his eyes. Mulder drew in a great shuddering breath, and a large tear fell from one eye. Alex wiped it away with a finger.

"Bill. That was that guy's name. Bill was a good guy. We worked together, played softball together, drank a lot of beers together. He was my friend." Mulder started to cry.

Alex reached over and took him into his arms. He had a feeling Mulder would be doing this a lot. It was quite an adjustment from having a good career and friends to just having some ex-con as a lover. Mulder cried for a good while before he stopped and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. He then excused himself and went upstairs to lie down.

Alex felt bad. Again, he didn't know what to say to Mulder. He tended to clam up when he was faced with any sort of stress. Slowly he stood and went back to the groceries that he had abandoned on the floor. After he had put everything away and mostly rearranged Mulder's kitchen, he went upstairs.

Mulder was asleep on the bed, his eyes still swollen from crying. Carefully, Alex lay down beside him and snuggled up to his back. "I'm sorry," he barely whispered. "I'm so fucking sorry." He kissed Mulder's shoulder and held his lover close, tears stinging his eyes.

Late that afternoon, Alex was julienning carrots when Sam came home.

"Hello, anyone home?"

Alex stepped into the hallway from the kitchen and smiled at her. "Hey, Sam."

"Hey, other big brother." She walked up to him and gave him a hug.

Alex nearly blushed; he wasn't used to people hugging him and kissing him at will like Sam did. It felt good though; it felt like he was actually part of a family.

Sam pulled back and held up a paper bag. "I come bearing gifts."

Alex took it from her and opened it up. "Wine, good. Now I don't need to send Fox for another bottle."

" _Another_ bottle? You two drinking already?"

"No. I bought a bottle of burgundy today, but I'm using it to cook with."

"I'm so happy you can cook. Usually we eat take out when I come home. If he had to cook for you, you'd probably starve to death."

"So I've noticed." Alex began to remove the foil from the neck of the bottle. "I just assumed Fox would have a few bottles of wine around. Where I come from, it's just normal."

"Fox is more of a beer and pizza kind of guy. He's not as 'sophisticated' as us big city folks," she said jokingly. "He's a simple guy, always has been." She looked out into the back yard. "Where is he, anyway?"

Alex pulled the cork out of the neck of the bottle with a pop then reached for the freshly washed wineglasses he had bought today. "He's resting."

"Resting? At five in the afternoon? Is he sick? Why is he..." She stopped and nearly blushed then said, "Never mind."

Alex handed her a glass of the wine. He went back and picked up his glass then leaned back against the counter. "Your brother has had quite a trying day today." He took a sip of the deep purplish red liquid, savoring the flavor. _Wow, she knows how to pick a good wine._

Sam remained silent, but her expression begged him to continue.

"After you left us at the diner, we went grocery shopping and ran into someone Fox used to work with."

"Oh no," Sam said, guessing what had happened. She raked her fingers through her hair.

At any other time, Alex would have laughed and remarked how she and Fox had similar mannerisms. Alex took a sip of wine instead; too bad it wasn't another time. "I wasn't there for the initial confrontation, but the man snarled, 'You make me sick' as he left."

"Poor Fox." Sam shook her head. "Do you know who it was?"

Alex shrugged, "Some guy named Bill." Alex went over to the table and sat down opposite Sam. He put his hands over his face and sighed loudly. He hated this; he hated Fox having to go through this. They should leave this place and start somewhere fresh where the whole goddamn town didn't work together. Trouble was, this was Fox's home. He grew up here and put so much loving work into this place. How could Alex ask him to leave?

"Hey," Sam said and touched Alex's hand briefly. "This is a small town; the people here aren't used to 'alternative lifestyle' couples. Especially considering the circumstances surrounding your particular relationship. Unfortunately, they aren't going to get used to it anytime soon. It's going to take a long time for them to come around. If ever. Alternatively, you two could move."

Alex took his hands away from his face and looked at her. "I was just thinking that."

"Do you know how long I've been trying to get my brother to move to Boston?"

"But he won't leave the house, right?"

"Exactly. He's attached to this place, that's for sure. I think he thinks that if he leaves, he'll forget Mom and Dad."

Alex nodded and took a sip of his wine then looked at his watch. "I should get him up, or we're not going to eat for hours."

Alex went upstairs and opened the bedroom door to reveal Mulder sleeping on his side. Alex crept into bed beside him and wrapped his arms around his lover. He kissed his ear gently. "Wake up, sweetheart."

Mulder stirred.

Alex continued with the kisses and caressed Mulder's arm and down to his thigh. "Wake up, lover."

Mulder moaned, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to come downstairs and have some very good wine with me and your sister."

"Sam's here?"

"Yeah, it's almost 5:30."

Mulder moaned again, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I slept so long."

"It's okay. You must have needed it." Alex kissed up Mulder's neck to his mouth where he captured his still sleepy lips.

Mulder pulled away and caressed Alex's cheek for a brief second before he got out of bed. "Let me have a shower and get presentable, and I'll be down in a minute." He turned and left without waiting for an answer.

Alex lay there for a second, confused as to why Mulder had left so suddenly, but put it off to him still being half-asleep. He still had a lot to learn about his new lover and his habits. He got up and made his way downstairs to rejoin Sam.

"Alex, the Beef Bourgignon was incredible. I can't believe how good you can cook," Sam gushed. "You're lucky to have a man like this, big brother. I'll trade you him for Jason."

Mulder laughed but only half-heartedly, "Forget it." The plate of food before him was mostly untouched. The glass of wine remained only slightly drunk.

"Are you okay, Fox? You hardly ate a thing." She looked at him with her _doctor_ look. "Are you sick? Should I go get my bag?"

"I'm fine, I'm just not hungry. And you can keep all those little thermometers and tongue depressors to yourself, thank you very much."

"If you get sick, don't blame me." She stretched and yawned. "I have to get on the road very early tomorrow. I'm going to bed." She stood and kissed Alex then Fox on the forehead and hugged them. "Thank you for a wonderful dinner, Alex. And Fox, I'll expect my daily e-mail tomorrow."

"Yes, your pestiness," Mulder grumbled.

"See what he still calls me even now that we're adults?" She waved at them. "Good night."

"Good night," they both called after her.

Alex looked nervously at Mulder. He knew the incident this afternoon was still bugging him, and that was probably why he wasn't hungry. He didn't know what to say to him, how to bring it up. Hell, he didn't know if he _should_ bring it up. In his family if something was bugging you, you just kept it inside and didn't mention it to anyone. He placed his hand over Mulder's and stroked it gently.

Mulder looked up at him and met his eyes. "It was very good, Alex. I'm sorry, I'm just not that hungry."

"That's okay, babe. I've got a hundred recipes just waiting for when you're hungry again."

Mulder gave him a weak smile. "I should help you clean up."

"No, you go relax. Turn on the TV or something; I'll clean up."

Mulder didn't argue and left the dining room. Alex joined him a short time later on the couch, and they watched TV for a few hours then went to bed.

Alex climbed into bed beside his lover, sidling up to his back. It felt so good when they were naked together, their smooth flesh pressed up against each other. Alex kissed Mulder's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his lover. He could feel himself harden as he pressed up against the other man.

He kissed up Mulder's neck and traced the whorls of his ear with his tongue. His hands roamed over Mulder's body, down his chest and abs to the patch of curls at his groin. Alex was fully hard now and dug his cock into Mulder's ass cheek. Alex moved his hands down to Mulder's thighs, caressing and stroking them.

One hand caressed the crease where leg met torso while the other went to cup Mulder's balls. Alex felt that Mulder was still limp and increased his caresses. He licked down to the small of Mulder's back and nipped at the fine hairs that were there as his fingers delicately touched Mulder's cock. Nothing was happening.

Suddenly, Alex's hands were being pushed away, and Mulder drew away from him slightly. "I'm sorry, Alex," he whispered. "I'm just...I'm tired. I'm sorry."

Alex moved up and hugged his lover tightly. "It's okay, babe." His cock was throbbing, and he wanted to make love to this man so bad he could hardly stand it. He wondered if he should go take care of himself in the bathroom? No, if Mulder was going to suffer, so was he. They were in this together.

"I love you, Fox."

"I love you, too Alex." Mulder answered.

Alex could hear the shakiness in Mulder's voice. He kissed Mulder's shoulder; again he was at a loss for words. He lay there, his arms around his lover until he felt Mulder fall asleep, then he rolled away to the edge of the bed, huddling there in a ball of misery with his back to Fox. He'd known that it was too good to be true. Fox couldn't really want him, the person who'd killed his best friend's lover. Now Mulder had realized what he'd done, and he was horrified. Alex had known it was all over when he'd realized that he couldn't even arouse Fox anymore. Even in the beginning when Fox had hated him and Alex himself had only wanted to be left alone, Fox had wanted him. But even that was gone now.

Alex lay in silence, hugging the edge of the bed, near to falling off, and tears slowly tracked down his cheeks. He remembered how good it felt to be held by Fox, how warmed he had felt by Fox's love. He knew that he didn't want to live without it, but he didn't seem to have a choice. Fox didn't want him anymore. Eventually, he couldn't stand to be so near Fox when he knew the older man didn't want him there, and he stood up, moving slowly and painfully like a rickety old man. He took the robe Fox had bought him, the robe he'd never needed to wear, out of the closet and went downstairs to the living room to huddle on the couch, staring blindly into the darkness.

He relived every moment he'd had with Fox, trying to imprint each one on his memory for when he would be alone again. Shudders wracked his body and slow tears continued to track down his cheeks, but Alex was unaware of any of it. All he could feel was the moment he'd reached for Fox's cock and found him soft, uninterested, the moment he'd realized Fox didn't love him.

_Maybe if I pay for him to go to school like he wanted..._ he mused, not even realizing that he was falling into his own parents' trap of trying to buy affection. He sighed heavily. _Who am I trying to kid? He. Doesn't. Want. Me._ A faint sob escaped him.

Mulder half woke up in the middle of the night and reached for Alex. His eyes flew open and he came fully awake when he realized that Alex wasn't there and, judging by the coldness of the sheets, had been gone for a long time. He sat up abruptly, looking around the room, but he didn't see Alex anywhere. He noticed that the closet door was open, and he could see the empty hanger beside his robe. His face fell when he realized that Alex hadn't felt comfortable nude. He tried to convince himself that it was because Sam was in the house, but he didn't believe it. He got up, pulled on his own robe and went looking for his errant lover.

Coming downstairs, Fox was baffled by the total lack of light, not noticing Alex in the pitch black living room at first. As he was about to go to the kitchen to continue his search though, he heard a faint sound and turned back, finally spotting the younger man huddled in one corner of the couch. Fox let out a faint exclamation and switched on a lamp as he moved toward Alex, only to stop in his tracks when the illumination revealed the reddened eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and quivering lips set in an expression of total misery.

"Alex!" he exclaimed, rushing toward the other man and reaching for him only to freeze in dismay when Alex flinched away with a look of pain on his face. "Baby?" he asked faintly, in disbelief.

Alex couldn't look at him, couldn't look at the lush lips he'd kissed, the warm hazel eyes he could have sworn had been filled with love. Instead he spoke to a point somewhere above Fox's left shoulder. "I'll be out of here first thing in the morning. I won't bother you anymore."

Fox couldn't speak for a moment, he was so shocked. "Wha-what do you mean?" he stuttered. "You want to leave me?" He couldn't believe it. What had happened?

Hurt green eyes flashed toward him for an instant. "Please don't lie to me, Mulder. You made it clear you don't want me here. I'll make it easy on you and go without any embarrassing scenes." He swallowed hard. "I've got to hand it to you, you're a great actor. I really believed you, you know. I honestly thought you meant what you said and that you weren't just trying to make me pay for Jamie's death." He laughed bitterly. "More fool me."

Fox had flinched again when Alex called him 'Mulder'. He could feel his lover distancing himself, see the pain in Alex's face and posture, but he didn't know why. He loved Alex; how could he believe otherwise?

Mulder reached toward Alex again, again letting his hand drop without touching him when Alex whimpered and pressed deep into the sofa to avoid his touch. "Why?" he begged. "What did I do to make you turn away from me?" He sank to his knees on the floor in front of Alex, desperately wanting to touch the man only inches away from him.

Another anguish-filled laugh escaped Alex, making Mulder hurt just to hear it. "God, Mulder, you're a real piece of work! _You_ turned away from _me_ , remember? I'm not stupid, I got the message."

Mulder just stared blankly until he suddenly remembered earlier that night. Before he'd fallen asleep, he vaguely recalled Alex climbing into bed with him and... Oh fuck! Alex had tried to initiate lovemaking, and he hadn't responded at all. He'd been in such a funk after the events of the day that he didn't even clearly remember anything from the time they'd gotten back from the grocery store. It sounded like Alex had taken his lack of interest as a complete rejection.

Mulder opened his mouth to ask him why the hell he was overreacting when something made him stop. He thought carefully about their relationship, remembering that it had started _very_ strangely, that Alex had never had a successful relationship, and that Alex had made comments in the past that made it clear that he didn't have a lot of experience with being loved. He probably thought that sex was the only thing holding Mulder with him, and that without it, Mulder wouldn't be interested. He groaned as he realized just how badly he had unintentionally hurt Alex.

"Alex, listen to me." He grasped the younger man's chin and forced him to look at him. "I love you. Do you hear me? I, Fox Mulder, love you, Alex Krycek. I. Love. You. Please get that through your head. I love you," he repeated one more time for good measure.

Alex only stared back with that blank expression and pain in his eyes, clearly unconvinced.

Mulder sighed, tamping down the panic he felt. If Alex wouldn't believe him, if he left him, he'd have nothing left. It wasn't just that the entire town would reject him now that they knew he was gay or that his former friends and co-workers would probably spit on him for getting involved with an ex-con or even that Mike hated him now, although all of that was bad enough. No, what would destroy him if he lost Alex was how much he loved him. He wasn't sure he could go back to living without him.

"Alex, please," he begged, "listen to me. I love you and I need you. Don't leave me."

Alex could hear the fear and desperation in Mulder's voice, and he started to believe him. He _wanted_ to believe him. But..."You didn't want me."

Mulder groaned. "I didn't want _sex_ ," he emphasized. "I always want you; I'm just not real good at showing it sometimes." He sighed again, then met Alex's eyes frankly. "What happened today with Bill _hurt_ , and I didn't know how to handle it. I know I shouldn't've shut you out, but I'm not used to having anyone there for me. So I withdrew. But I never meant to hurt you."

Alex stared at him for long moments, at least not flinching away this time when Fox placed a tentative hand on his knee. He thought about his own reaction to being hurt, which was to shut down or run away, and he realized that in his own way, Mulder did the same. He sighed. "God, aren't we the pair."

Fox met his eyes with dawning hope, his hand tightening on Alex's knee.

"Just, please, don't pull away from me," Alex pleaded. "Let me be there for you."

Mulder dropped his head into Alex's lap, nearly faint with relief. "I will, baby," he vowed. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Alex slid a finger under his chin to tilt his head up, then kissed him gently. When Fox started to deepen the kiss though, he flinched away. Mulder looked away, and his shoulders slumped. He knew Alex had no prior experience with men, yet he kept undermining his confidence. Mulder knew his lack of reaction earlier had made Alex doubt his own worth, his attractiveness, and he wondered how long it would take or even if it was going to be possible to repair the damage he'd done. He gently stroked along Alex's thigh, finally reaching his groin, and he winced when he found Alex soft.

It upset him to be unable to arouse his lover, and he _knew_ why. He could only imagine how confused and unhappy Alex must have been earlier. He raised his eyes to meet Alex's, and instead of the love and passion he'd grown accustomed to seeing there, he found wary distrust. He shut his eyes against the sight, swearing that he would find a way to fix this.

He pushed himself to his feet and held out a hand to Alex. "Come back to bed?"

Alex nodded slowly and took his hand, allowing himself to be pulled up. When Mulder wrapped an arm around him, he leaned into the embrace, putting his own arm around Mulder's waist as they climbed back up the stairs. Once back in their bedroom, however, Alex stopped at the edge of the bed, staring down at it unhappily. Without looking at Mulder, he walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, stepping out of sight behind the closet door to pull them on before he got into bed.

Mulder watched in dismay, feeling as if he'd been sucker punched. His rejection had obviously cut Alex even more deeply than he'd thought if he was no longer comfortable being naked with him, or even letting Mulder see him for the few seconds it took to shrug off his robe and pull on the underwear.

Alex turned to Fox, wondering why he hadn't gotten into bed yet, and he saw the expression of naked pain on his lover's face. He wanted to jump up and go to him, take him in his arms and tell him it would be all right, but he didn't know if Mulder would let him.

"Do you want me to put something on before I come to bed?" Mulder asked woodenly, and Alex suddenly got an inkling of what had caused that look of hurt.

In answer he held out his arms to his lover, and Mulder practically dove into the offered embrace, dropping his own robe on the floor. Fox buried his face in Alex's throat, and he felt Alex's cheek lean against the top of his head, rubbing briefly as they settled. They lay like that for the rest of the night, holding tightly to one another, but neither of them slept.

The next morning Samantha could tell that something was wrong, but at first she put it down to the aftermath of Fox's encounter with Bill the day before. Then she took a closer look, seeing the dark circles under their eyes that testified to a sleepless night and noticing how brittle Alex looked. Last night Fox had been withdrawn and Alex worried about him, but now it looked like Alex was the one about to fall apart. She decided the best thing she could do for them would be to leave them alone to work it out, so she left right after breakfast.

Once alone, the two men wandered around the living room nervously. They didn't want to be apart, but they were uncomfortable together. Finally, Fox couldn't stand it any more. He caught Alex's arm the next time he paced by and yanked him down onto the couch.

"Alex, this is nuts! We are not going to let them do this to us!"

Alex looked at him in bafflement.

"A day ago we were blissfully happy, but one ignorant, prejudiced guy has made us miserable. I won't let that happen!"

"Fox?" Alex had no idea what to expect next and just looked at him through his lashes.

"You're mine!" Mulder snarled, suddenly twisting Alex under him and tearing at his clothes. Alex only blinked up at him, too surprised to move. And when he felt Mulder's erection grinding into him, he didn't want to pull away; he wanted to be convinced that Fox still wanted him.

Mulder shoved down his sweats and pushed Alex's legs apart. He held Alex's wrists above his head, then grabbed the T-shirt he'd ripped off him and tied his hands, fastening the end of the fabric to the scrollwork on the back of the couch. Mulder looked at him, sprawled naked on the sofa, and a slow smile stretched his lips. Watching him, Alex suddenly felt nervous, but he liked the shivers racing up his spine. His cock began to fill under Mulder's heated gaze, and he squirmed lewdly, spreading his legs to display himself to his lover. Mulder leaned down and licked the length of his now twitching cock, then hitched up his sweats to go into the kitchen and grab some oil, making the round trip faster than he'd ever thought possible.

Suddenly desperate after the tension of the last day, Mulder poured out some of the oil into his hand and stroked it into Alex, stretching him quickly, then shoved his sweats down again, just enough to free his cock and balls. He quickly applied some of the oil to himself and pushed inside of Alex. Both men groaned as Fox slid in, Alex bucking up, trying to force Fox deeper. That seemed to snap something in Fox, and he started slamming in and out, pumping Alex's cock in time with his strokes. Alex gasped his name, squirming, pushing up, and Fox stared at him, surprised again by this man's beauty. He let go of Alex's cock and braced himself on his elbows, sliding his hands under his ass and raising him so he could go deeper. Alex moaned as his cock was rubbed between their bellies, and Fox smiled and lowered himself a fraction more. He watched Alex pant desperately, pleasure contorting his face, and he pushed in as deeply as he could as he came, crying Alex's name.

"No!" Alex wailed, bucking up, trying to get Fox to keep moving.

As soon as Fox caught his breath, he pulled out of Alex, ignoring his whimpers of distress. He immediately shifted down and took Alex's cock into his mouth, sucking hard to bring him off quickly. Alex groaned, his hips rising off the couch to push himself deeper into Mulder. It didn't take long for Alex to come, and Fox swallowed every drop before he sat up. He hitched his sweats back up, leaving himself once again fully dressed, and he surveyed the naked, sweaty body of his lover stretched out on and tied to the couch like some pagan offering.

Fox smiled and petted him from the throat to his still over-sensitive cock, prompting a whine of protest and an attempt to move away.

"You know," Fox mused, still gently stroking Alex's groin, "I'd forgotten how fucking gorgeous you are when you're tied up." His hand crept lower, one finger trailing lightly from sac to anus and back. Alex moaned.

"You're wasting your time, Fox; you wrung me out. There's nothing left."

Fox smirked at him. "Wanna bet?"

Alex didn't bother to reply, but that didn't upset Mulder. He was concentrating on his lover's body now, determined to make him beg. He slid two fingers back inside Alex's ass, at first just stroking in and out, then hooking and twisting. Alex yelped at the first brush over his prostate, overwhelmed by a pleasure so intense it bordered on pain. Or maybe it _was_ pain. He couldn't tell anymore. Aftershocks of his orgasm were still pulsing through his body, and Fox was arousing him again. Even as a teenager he'd never been as sex-crazed as he'd been since becoming Fox's lover. Fox's fingers pressed against the gland again, and Alex focused a wild gaze on him as he screamed.

Fox laughed.

Keeping his fingers busy inside his desperately twisting lover, he reached with his free hand for the drawer of the end table. He hoped what he wanted was still in there; he hadn't checked in ages, not since the last time he'd been with Mike. He let out a sigh of satisfaction when his fingers closed over his targets, and he pulled out a set of nipple clamps.

Alex's eyes widened when he saw what Fox was holding, and he started to shake his head emphatically until Fox distracted him with his fingers in his ass again. He subsided with a moan, watching out of scared green eyes as Fox dropped the linked clamps on his belly and reached for a nipple, pinching it to make it rise even more. He whimpered in anticipation when Fox picked up one clamp and fastened it onto the nipple, then stared down in surprise. It was uncomfortable, but in an exciting kind of way. He liked it, and the way his cock was twitching made that clear to Fox.

Fox chuckled and dropped a kiss on his parted lips. "See, baby, you just have to trust me. I knew you'd like this." And he clamped the other nipple. He checked that they were secure, then started to tug on the chain joining them, drawing the nipples out from Alex's chest until he moaned, then releasing them and watching him squirm.

A continuous stream of curses and pleas fell from Alex's lips, his purple cock begging for attention, but Fox was in no hurry to end this. He reached back into that drawer and brought out a dildo, holding it up before Alex's eyes. He nudged it against the younger man's lips, urging him to take it inside.

"Come on, baby," he whispered. "The only lubrication you're getting is what you put there."

Alex whimpered, but he parted his lips and started to suck on the dildo, coating it with saliva. He stared into Fox's eyes as he did, and he found he could pretend it was his lover's cock in his mouth. It was turning him on, and he opened his mouth farther, letting it slide deeper into his mouth, deep throating it. Mulder let him for a minute because he looked so damn sexy like that, but then he pulled it away. As much as Alex was squirming, he was afraid of hurting him with the rigid object. He whispered that in Alex's ear, the hot breath making Alex shudder, when Alex tried to follow the dildo like a baby bird reaching for food. "After all," Mulder rasped, "it would be criminal to damage that talented throat of yours."

He pulled his fingers out of Alex's ass with a final flick that forced a sob from the younger man, then replaced them with the dildo. Alex went rigid as the long, thick, inflexible object slid deep inside him. It was different than when it was Fox, and he wasn't sure he liked it. He whimpered his distress, and Fox soothed him with a long kiss and his clever fingers stroking Alex's balls. That made Alex try to push into his grasp, and that shifted the dildo inside him, and he froze again. Then, slowly, tentatively, he moved his hips a little, feeling the thing, and his breath began to come faster. He writhed wantonly, tiny sobs escaping him with every breath, and then Mulder began to pull on the nipple clamps again and hump his thigh. He felt the wet heat of the tip of Fox's cock painting patterns on him, and he screamed as another orgasm was torn from him.

Fox watched every second of it, and only when Alex was done did he let himself go, coming again only moments later. Alex's uncomfortable squirming under him brought him back to full awareness of his surroundings, and he reached down, pulling the dildo out of him, then unfastened the nipple clamps and lightly kissed the abused flesh. He dropped the toys on the floor beside the couch and settled back on top of Alex, wanting nothing more than to sleep for a little while.

"Fox, please." The honest discomfort in Alex's voice got his instant attention.

"What's wrong, Alex?"

"My arms, please. I can't even feel them anymore."

"Shit!" Fox had forgotten about that, and he hastily unwound the shredded T-shirt from the back of the couch, then freed Alex's wrists. Once he had lowered his arms, Fox massaged them, bringing the circulation back. Only after Alex indicated that they were back to normal did Fox wobble to his feet and draw his lover back toward the stairs and up to their bedroom.

"Fox?"

"Mmm?"

"If I hadn't sucked the dildo," Alex asked in a small voice, "would you really have used it on me dry?"

"Fuck no!"

Alex smiled and leaned his head against Fox's shoulder as they walked.

The next few weeks were more of the same. A time that should have full of laughter and happiness for them as they got to know each other better and started their life together was instead tense and unhappy. They both withdrew from each other, not knowing how to reach out. The only thing that wasn't affected was the sex, which just kept getting hotter. It was at the point that they tried to spend all their time in bed or rather having sex on or against every surface in the house. The only problem was that they never talked to each other any more.

It didn't help that every time either one of them set foot outside the house, they faced snide remarks, taunts, the occasional shove. Alex, who'd been one of the popular kids in high school, the golden boy at the Academy, the indulged only son of wealthy parents, had never faced this kind of public abuse, and he had no idea how to handle it. So, as he'd done all his life, he didn't. He shut down instead. He walked around the house with a perpetual blank mask in place of an expression.

Fox watched him sadly, seeing the sullen con he'd first encountered in the prison take the place of his laughing lover. He'd been so happy to have brought laughter and caring into Alex's life, and now he was responsible for taking it away. Between his guilt at that and misery over being treated as if he were invisible by just about everyone in the town, he grew more withdrawn with each passing day as well.

Both men were aware that they were making the problem worse, but neither one knew how to put an end to it. They kept reaching out to one another, but not knowing what to say, they ended up fucking instead. They could feel the desperation when they were together, and each of them was beginning to fear that they wouldn't be able to get past this.

Things finally came to a head one fall day in late September. Alex was inside staring at the latest letter from his parents, trying to figure out how to tell them not to come visit him. At first he'd held them off by saying that he needed time to adjust to being free again, but he'd finally had to tell them that he was living with another man, that Fox was his lover. Judging by the tone of the letter, his mother had probably had hysterics, and now she was demanding that he and Fox come visit them. He laughed bitterly.

When he'd been in prison, he'd looked forward to going places with Fox, and he'd even thought that visiting his parents might be okay if he had Fox with him. Funny that things had looked better from inside a prison than they did when he was free. He dropped his head into his hands, sighing heavily, and he wondered what the hell to do now.

While Alex wrestled with his dilemma, Fox was out back raking leaves. He was as miserable as his lover, eyeing the piles of leaves and remembering how he'd thought about Alex being here for this season. He'd imagined them doing this together, then tumbling into one of the piles and making love right there. He glanced over his shoulder at the house where Alex was. He wondered if they'd ever make love again rather than the frantic fucking that was all they seemed to do now.

He kicked moodily at some leaves, finally leaning the rake against the fence when he accepted that he wasn't going to get anything done. He wandered over to the old oak tree toward the back of the yard and climbed up to the treehouse he and Michael had built together when they were eight years old. They'd played here, grown up here, explored their sexuality together here. He thought about how many key events in their lives had happened right here. He'd wanted to bring Alex up here and tell him all the stories, show him the rock collection from when he was a kid and the pictures of his highschool girlfriends.

Fox groaned. He sat on the edge of the platform, what they'd call their ramparts when they built it, his legs hanging over the edge and his head leaning back against the outside wall of the house itself. He stared up at the sky as if hoping to see a solution to his problems written in the clouds. He shivered when the wind picked up, but he made no move to go inside. He sighed unhappily when he realized that he was avoiding Alex.

"So you're still fucking him."

_Perfect. Just fucking perfect. That's all this day needed to make it complete._ "Hi, Mike."

"Tell me how you do it, Fox. Tell me how you can fuck the man who killed my Jamie. How can you stand to touch that murdering sonofabitch?" He glared up angrily, tears in his eyes.

Fox stared at him helplessly. Before he could say anything, a cold voice interrupted.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Alexander Krycek."

Both men turned, seeing an older couple, probably in their late sixties. The man wore an Armani suit with an Egyptian cotton shirt, raw silk tie, and discreet gold cufflinks. The woman wore a silk dress, tasteful diamonds, and a fur coat. Mulder's heart sank.

"Mr. and Mrs. Krycek?" he asked, knowing they could be no one else.

"My son?" Emily Krycek prompted coolly.

Michael opened his mouth, and Fox jumped down, desperate to separate them. He motioned toward the house and started to lead the Kryceks in when Mike spoke up.

"You never answered my question, Fox," he sneered.

Fox finally snapped. Totally ignoring Alex's parents, actually forgetting their presence, he turned on Michael. "You want to know how, Mike?" he snarled. "It's easy. I _love_ him, and he loves me. He makes me happier than I've ever been in my entire life, and I'll be damned if I'll let you or anyone else in this fucking narrow-minded town hurt him anymore.

"I'm sorry Jamie died. You _know_ that, Mike. But you also know that the autopsy proved he had a weak heart. He could have died at any moment. I know that doesn't excuse what happened or make it up to you for losing even a single instant with Jamie. But Mike, if you ever call Alex a murderer again, I'll punch you into the middle of next week!" By the time he finished, Fox was yelling into his friend's face, protective fury clear in every line of him. He turned on his heel and stalked toward the house, not bothering to check whether the Kryceks or Michael followed him.

Once inside, Jonathan and Emily hesitated in the entry while Mike hovered in the background. "Mr. Mulder?" Jonathan asked tentatively.

Mulder blinked in surprise, having forgotten they were there. "Yes?"

Jonathan regarded him uneasily. "You said... you said that you love Alex."

Mulder looked at them like they were nuts. "Well, of course I do. What on earth did you think this was all about?"

"You taking advantage of a vulnerable, young man who was trapped in an impossible situation," Emily Krycek snapped. "My son is not gay." She could barely bring herself to say the word.

Mulder just looked at her. "It's not a dirty word, you know."

She looked down her nose at him. "We're here to bring Alexander home."

Mulder winced slightly. As miserable as they'd been lately, he was desperately afraid that Alex would go with them. He heard a sound behind him, and he turned to see Alex standing in the hallway watching them. No, watching _him_ , totally ignoring his parents, whom he hadn't seen since he was sent to prison.

"I heard you," Alex said softly. Fox looked confused, so he added, "Outside. I heard what you said to Michael." He looked down, then back at Fox. "Did you mean it? Do you still love me?"

Fox gasped. "God, Alex, has it been so bad that you have to ask me that? Of course I love you; nothing could change that!"

"Excuse me," Emily interrupted icily. "Aren't you going to greet us, Alexander?"

Tearing his eyes away from Fox, Alex turned reluctantly to face his parents. "Hello, Mother," Alex responded equally coolly, approaching her to kiss the air beside her cheek. He was careful not to actually touch her and possibly muss her clothes or makeup. He'd learned that lesson at a very young age. "Father." He nodded to Jonathan.

Fox watched the stilted greetings, and his heart ached for Alex. He thought he'd had warmer meetings with his parents when he visited their graves. If that was how Alex had been treated as a child, it was no wonder that he didn't know how to express his emotions. Even Michael felt a momentary pang of sympathy for Krycek, but all he had to do to quell it was remember Jamie lying still and cold in his casket.

"We've come to bring you home, Alexander," Emily stated, clearly expecting immediate obedience to her wishes.

Alex stepped closer to Fox, who reached out and took his hand. "I _am_ home, Mother."

Mrs. Krycek looked at their joined hands with an expression of well bred disgust. "You _will_ return to Boston with us, Alexander. This... temporary aberration will be forgotten. No one need ever know."

Alex stared at her, shaking his head. "Not this time, Mother. This time I won't let you make my decisions for me. I'm not ashamed of Fox or of being with him, and I'll be damned if I'll let you treat him like some dirty little secret."

"So you're going to live here," her lip curled in disdain. "And do what exactly, Alexander? What do you plan to live on?"

"What planet do you live on, Mother? You know perfectly well that I have my inheritance from Grandfather. I don't _need_ to work. And I happen to like it here," he finished defiantly and untruthfully.

With everyone concentrating on the confrontation between mother and son, no one noticed Michael sidling closer, coming up behind Alex. No one noticed him until he let out an almost bestial snarl and lunged at Alex.

Fox saw the motion out the corner of his eye, and seeing something hurtling at his lover's defenseless back, he reacted automatically, fending Michael off with one arm before he even realized what was happening. Mike stumbled back, regained his footing and reached for Alex again.

"I'm going to kill you, you motherfucker! Just like you killed Jamie!" he screamed.

"Get out." Fox spoke coldly, pain clear in his voice but overshadowed by his determination to protect Alex.

Mike turned to Fox. "Come on, Fox, you can't love this fucking murderer. I'll admit he's a pretty boy, and I can see why you'd want to fuck him, but he's filth, Fox-"

"Enough!" Mulder yelled. "Get out of my home, Michael, and don't come back." His voice cracked on the last word, but he refused to back down. He was _not_ going to fail Alex this time.

Michael gaped at him in disbelief, paling dramatically, and Mulder repeated it. He stared after his best friend as he walked away, and he wondered again how this had all happened. Then he looked to his side and met a pair of worried green eyes, and he remembered the answer. Still staring into Alex's eyes, he spoke softly. "If I had to do it all over again, I'd still choose you."

Ignoring their audience, Alex kissed him softly, licking at his lips, and wrapped his arms around Fox.

"Alexander!"

Alex sighed heavily and looked over his shoulder at his mother. "Don't start, Mother. Just don't."

Fox looked at the two people standing stiffly in his hallway and briefly considered running away from home. "Will you stay with us?" he invited, ignoring Alex's frantic head shake.

Emily raised a supercilious eyebrow. "I'm sure we can find accommodations in a hotel."

Alex pictured his parents staying in one of the cheap motels that catered mainly to the inmates' family and friends or one of the homey B&Bs in town, and he groaned. He leaned his forehead against Mulder's shoulder for a brief moment, then straightened up and turned back to his mother. "I'm afraid not, Mother. The motels in town are... not quite what you're accustomed to."

"I'm sure-" Emily started before her husband cut her off.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulder, we'd be delighted to accept your kind invitation." He saw Emily take a breath to say something else, and he cut her off. "I'm sure you're right when you say that we wouldn't be comfortable in the motels."

Emily sniffed disdainfully, turned on her heel and went into the living room, preparing herself for the squalor she was certain her son was living in.

"Please, come in, make yourself at home," Mulder mumbled sarcastically, and Alex snickered.

"See why I wasn't anxious to write?"

Mulder grunted. After another quick kiss, which Jonathan watched interestedly, he motioned the elder Krycek to precede them into the room.

They entered to find Emily surveying the room in open-mouthed astonishment. Not only was it clean and tidy, many of the furnishings were antiques, and the rest were of good quality and well cared for. She turned to face the men fully, amazement visible in her eyes.

Alex sighed at her prejudices and wished his parents would go away or, better still, had never come. Fox placed a calming hand on his arm, and he glanced over to meet an understanding gaze. They needed to talk, to clear up the misunderstandings and pain of the last few weeks, but they weren't going to be able to do that while his parents were present. He mouthed 'I love you' and got a heartwarming smile in response.

"Do you have any luggage you'd like to bring in?" Mulder asked, turning to Jonathan. When he nodded, Fox offered to help, and the two of them went out to get it, leaving Alex and Emily alone together.

They stood in uncomfortable silence until Emily broke it.

"Alexander-"

"Alex. My name is _Alex_ , Mother. Can't you even grant me the courtesy of using my name as I wish?"

Emily's eyes flashed, but she quelled her anger. "I'm the one who named you, Alexander, and I remember quite clearly giving you my father's name. But that is irrelevant to the matter at hand."

She sighed and paced around the room, too tense to remain still. "He's not what I expected," she admitted.

"I don't see why not," Alex snapped. "I told you about him."

"He's not as ignorant and uncultured as I anticipated from his choice of employment, and his home is quite lovely. I suppose it's true what they say about gay men," she mused.

Alex actually growled. "You're a snob, Mother. And prejudiced to boot. It's so appalling it's almost funny." He fixed her with a steely glare. "Don't you dare insult Fox!"

She drew herself up with offended dignity, but before she could say anything, they were distracted by laughter from the doorway.

"You're cute when you're being protective, Alex, but it's not necessary. I can take care of myself."

Alex shrugged. "I know you can. So can I. But it's more fun to take care of each other."

Fox smiled and moved to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder, smirking at Emily's expression of distaste.

"Come on, I'll show you which room you can use," Fox said, and he headed upstairs.

A little while later Alex's parents were settled in Sam's room, his mother wearing an expression of resigned suffering upon discovering that there was no en-suite bathroom, rather she would have to go down the hall to get to one. Fox and Alex left them to unpack and rest and retreated to their own bedroom.

Once inside they wandered around restlessly, Alex eventually settling on the bed and Mulder perching on the edge of the window seat. They stared at each across the room, and they wondered how they could get past everything. Each was afraid to start, worried that he'd only make matters worse by saying the wrong thing. Finally Fox groaned and stared down at his feet.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked quietly.

Alex gasped. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Fox paused for a deep breath. "But I don't want you to stay because you think you should or because you think it's what _I_ want. I need you to be with me because it's what _you_ want." He laughed bitterly. "And I know that's incredibly unfair of me. You deserve better than this, better than being treated like a leper. You're so beautiful you could have anyone you wanted. You should be living in the lap of luxury somewhere, enjoying your freedom, not getting the fallout from what my neighbors think of me."

"Bullshit!" Alex replied succinctly. When Fox looked up in surprise, he continued, "If it wasn't for you, I'd still be in prison. I was far from a model prisoner, blaming the entire universe for me being there rather than accepting responsibility for my own actions. I was well on the way to becoming someone I don't like very much. I'd never have been paroled, let alone gotten early parole, if not for you."

"Sure you would. Your lawyer got the extra time knocked off your sentence because that judge had no business adding it on just because you were an FBI trainee. Hell, he doubled the maximum sentence for the crime! If anyone had known that his son, his _gay_ son, had been beaten to death, he'd have been recused. As it was, you probably could have gotten the conviction overturned on the grounds of a mistrial."

Alex shook his head. "You and I both know that what I did was wrong, Fox. Sure, I never intended to kill him, but we weren't there to sell Amway." He smiled slightly. "You made me take a good, long look at my life, Fox, and I was nothing more than a spoiled, rich kid who thought he could do or say anything. I wish it hadn't taken someone's death to change that, but I like myself a hell of a lot better now. And I love you. I want to be with you, and if that means putting up with this town's petty vindictiveness, fine. Just so long as _you_ don't shut me out. I need to know that you love me too."

Fox was across the room in an instant. "I do love you, Alex. I'm sorry I've been so self-absorbed lately that you doubted it." He pulled Alex into his arms and stretched out on the bed with his lover draped half over him. They dozed off like that, holding tightly to one another, more content than they'd been in a while.

A few days later Alex woke up to the sounds of battle drifting up the stairs _again_. He groaned and pulled the pillows over his head, seriously considering staying right where he was until his mother magically disappeared. After a moment, the lack of air and certainty that more than wishes would be required to rid himself of his interfering parent made him sit up. He was reaching for his robe to go downstairs when a sudden thought made him stop and brought a slow smile to his face.

"Fight fire with fire," he mumbled with a satisfied smirk.

Later that afternoon, Alex wondered if his plan was going to be enough. Today was even worse than usual; his mother was in fine form, sniping at Fox at every turn. Of course, he had to admit that it was at least partially his own fault. He'd been irritated that morning, so he'd gone downstairs without showering, knowing that he'd smelled of sex. His mother had noticed, of course, and been horrified. That had been satisfying enough, but the expression of sheer lust on Fox's face when he got close to him had been a thing of beauty. For a moment he'd thought Fox was just going to throw him down on the table and take him. The fact that he hadn't was another black mark against his mother.

_Goddamnit, this is our home, and we can't even do what we want when we want because of my damned mother. We have_ got _to get rid of her._ He glanced over at his parents, his mother holding forth on god only knew what topic this time while his father listened silently. _I wouldn't mind my dad staying for a while though. I've gotten to know him a little these last few days, and I think we could actually get to be friends. I wish I'd realized that years ago; things might have turned out differently._ He glanced over at Fox. _God, I'm such a shit. I wouldn't change what happened with Jamie if I could. A man is dead because of me, and I wouldn't change it because I wouldn't have met Fox otherwise. Jamie, if you're out there, I'm so sorry for what I did to you, but I love him so much. I won't ask for forgiveness, but knowing how much you and Michael loved each other, I hope you understand how I feel now._

"Deep thoughts, babe?" Fox sat beside him, one hand settling naturally on his thigh.

Alex smiled. "Just... making peace with myself."

Fox smiled inquisitively, but that was all Alex would say. He changed the subject. "I'm sorry about my mother, Fox."

Mulder shrugged. "In her own way, she cares about you, Alex, and is trying to protect you."

"No, she doesn't. She just doesn't want her image tarnished by having a gay son. Hell, I'll bet she's even managed to cover up me being in prison somehow." Alex sounded resigned rather than bitter.

"What an ill-bred display," Emily stated coldly, eyeing Fox's hand on Alex's thigh.

"Odd, I thought it was rather sweet," an equally icy voice cut in.

Everyone turned toward the doorway in surprise, Fox and Alex smiling at Sam when they saw her.

_My secret weapon arrives!_ Alex exulted.

"And just who might you be?" Emily demanded.

"Samantha Mulder. Fox's sister." Sam glared at the bitch hag who was making her brother and his lover miserable according to what Alex had told her that morning.

"Miss Mulder," Emily started, only to be interrupted by Sam.

"Doctor."

"I beg your pardon?"

"That's _Dr._ Mulder, Mrs. Krycek."

" _You_ are a doctor?" Disbelief dripped from her tone.

"Yes, I am. Fourth in my class at Columbia. You really don't have to be born wealthy to be intelligent or to make something of yourself. In fact," with a disdainful glance at Emily, "sometimes wealth has the opposite effect."

"Why, you little trollop!"

"My, what a shining example of the superiority of the rich," Sam sneered.

By this time the men in the room were looking for a fallout shelter.

Emily took a deep breath, restoring her air of icy superiority. "Unlike you apparently, Dr. Mulder, I do not consider namecalling a worthwhile use of my time. Perhaps you would care to explain your unexpected and rather rude arrival?"

Sam looked her up and down. "I don't have to explain anything to you, let alone my presence in my family's home."

"Sam, it's so good to see you," Fox jumped up to hug her, hoping to prevent a murder in his living room. "But I thought you and Jason were going away this weekend?"

Alex looked up guiltily at that, and Sam smiled reassuringly. "Jason wanted to meet Alex before the wedding. He's just getting our bags, wouldn't let me carry anything. And coming to visit you two _is_ getting away, Fox."

"Actually," yet another new voice put in, "Alex and I _have_ met. At numerous boring summer parties that were command performances."

Alex stared at him blankly for a moment before he recognized him. "Oh, of course, Jason Prestwick. I should have recognized your name right away."

"No reason why you should, the name's not that uncommon. And it's not like we knew each other all that well." He grinned over at Fox and Sam. "Although I think that's going to change."

Alex grinned back, impressed with Sam's strategy. While she could have routed his mother eventually all on her own, waving her wealthy and influential fiance under his snobbish mother's nose was a stroke of genius. Emily Krycek would never knowingly do anything to offend the Prestwicks. He had a hard time restraining his laughter and didn't dare look at Sam.

"I'll go put some coffee on for everyone," Alex said abruptly, needing to get out of the room before he started howling, and bolted.

"I think I'll help." Sam followed quickly.

Choosing the path of rank cowardice, Fox fled after his lover and sister, leaving Jason with the Kryceks, something he was sure he would pay for eventually. In the kitchen he turned a suspicious glare on the two who'd collapsed into fits of giggles at the table.

"Okay, give, Sam. What are you doing here?"

Alex looked up, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "That's my doing, Fox. I decided this morning that we weren't getting anywhere with my mother, but I'd put my money on Sam any day. So I called and asked her to come save us."

"What?!"

"That's what family's for, bro. I'm glad Alex called me; after five minutes with that woman, I can't imagine how you've put up with her for almost a week."

Fox sighed and shook his head. "Come on, let's get that coffee made. It's not fair to leave Jason alone with them for too long."

"Oh don't worry about him," Alex scoffed. "There's no way my darling mama will insult a _Prestwick_."

"Even so, the look he gave me when I followed the two of you promised retribution," Fox said.

The others chuckled and got the coffee going.

They managed to make it through the rest of the afternoon without bloodshed and mutually agreed to go out for dinner. Alex knew his mother wouldn't like the restaurant, but despite the lack of trendy decor, the food was excellent.

Dinner was half over when a drunken, belligerent man stumbled up to the table, startling all of them.

"Darryl?" Fox said in surprise, recognizing Michael's older brother.

"Are you happy now, you fucking fairy?" he slurred. "Are you happy now that you have your murdering whore and my brother is dead?"

Fox dropped his glass, the wine spilling across the table and dripping down to the floor. "What are you talking about?" he whispered, his voice nearly failing him. Alex and Sam both reached out to him, each taking one of his hands.

"Mikey's dead!" Darryl screamed. "He killed himself because of you, you sonofabitch!"

Fox just stared up at him, his mouth working silently, tears rolling down his face. "Mike," he mouthed.

Jason jumped up and distracted Darryl while Alex and Sam drew Fox up and out of the restaurant, Alex's parents following, even his mother silenced for the moment. As soon as they were out, Jason got away from Darryl by buying him a drink and hurried after the others.

Fox sat in total silence, staring straight ahead, on the drive back to the house. When they got there, Jonathan and Emily went into the house quietly and retired, even Emily realizing that the men needed to be left alone. Jason also went straight up to their room when he and Sam arrived only moments later, knowing her brother needed her just then. Sam and Alex coaxed Fox out of the car and inside, both of them worried by the blank expression he'd worn since the initial shock dissipated.

Alex stroked his lover's hair, trying to comfort him, but Fox didn't even seem to really notice that he was there. He just sat woodenly, not speaking, not moving, and Samantha began to get worried. He was clearly in shock, shivering with reaction, but he brushed her away when she tried to wrap a blanket around him. Sam was actually considering having him hospitalized overnight for observation, loath though she was to do that in this town, when he finally spoke.

"This _is_ my fault, you know." Haunted hazel eyes looked up finally, and both the others flinched from the pain and self-recrimination in them.

"Fox, no," Alex started only to be interrupted by Fox.

"It's the truth. Michael, my best friend in my entire life, is dead, and it's all because of me."

"How can you say that, Fox?" Sam tried.

"Because it's true!" Fox half yelled. "I betrayed him, and now he's dead."

A tiny moan was torn from Alex as he saw his life dissolving around him. They'd only just begun to work through their problems, and now Mike had won. Fox would never forgive either of them. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting to hold back the tears, and when he opened them, he was completely expressionless. Once again, he'd retreated behind the mask that had served as his defense all his life.

"My parents and I will leave first thing in the morning," he said quietly, not meeting Fox or Sam's eyes.

Fox stared down at the floor between his feet. "See, even Alex knows I'm right, and he's leaving before I destroy him too."

Alex's head shot up, and he stared at Fox in bewilderment. "What are you talking about? I'm leaving because you don't want me here because Michael would still be alive if I had never come here."

It was Fox's turn to look baffled. "What are _you_ talking about? Michael's dead because I couldn't give you up. I raped you, repeatedly, and then I couldn't give you up. What kind of sick fuck rapes a man, then claims to be in love with him? And then tells his best friend that he's in love with someone who contributed to his lover's death."

Alex flinched. "So what you're saying is that you should have raped me and then left me, and then everything would have been fine."

"No! That's not what I meant. Oh fuck, I make a mess of everything." He buried his face in his hands. "I should never have touched you, never fucked up your life, never made Mike so fucking miserable that he felt he had to kill himself."

Alex stood up painfully. "Well, I'll solve part of your problem and leave. I'm sorry to have been such a burden." He turned to leave, only to be stopped by a desperate wail.

"Don't leave me!" Fox stretched a hand out toward him, tears running down his face, but he made no move to go after Alex. If he stayed, it had to be because he wanted to, not because Fox made him.

Alex looked at him, torment plain on his face. "I don't know how much more of this I can take, Fox. You keep pushing me away and telling me that I'm some kind of mistake, then changing your mind. You're cutting me up a little piece at a time. What the hell do you want from me?" he suddenly yelled, pushed beyond what he could endure.

"Alex, please," Fox begged. "Just... just give me some time. Don't leave me."

Alex knew that he should go for his own sake, but he couldn't turn away from Fox when he was in so much pain. He nodded curtly and headed upstairs, where he went to bed. When Fox finally came up, Alex lay stiffly at the edge of the bed, pretending to be asleep even though both of them knew perfectly well that he wasn't.

Fox buried his face in his pillow, letting it absorb his silent tears.

They lay like that for an hour or two, each listening to the other breathe, wondering if either of them was going to fall asleep. A soft knock came at the door, and Alex got up to answer it.

"Mother," Alex said as he saw who was on the other side.

"Alexander, your father and I are leaving. This situation has become....awkward. Come home to Boston with us. We will wait until you collect your things."

_Like it_ hasn't _been awkward already?_ Alex looked at his mother standing tall in the hallway, his father behind her, their bags in his hands. His father never said much when his mother was around. He wished just for once his father would speak up and tell his mother she was wrong.

"I've told you, Mother, I'm not going anywhere. This is my home now. Fox and I are together!" His words started out softly but ended up as a harsh whisper.

She looked at her son, and her right eyebrow twitched. "Is that your final decision, Alexander?"

Alex could see the anger of not getting her own way pulse in the vein at the side of her neck. "Yes, it is, Mother." He stood up and looked down at her.

Her green eyes narrowed to meet his. "Very well," she spat. She turned on her heel and stomped down the stairs as gracefully as she could.

Alex's father looked at him and nodded then followed his wife.

Alex stood there outside the door to the room he shared with Fox. He felt elated that his parents were leaving, but at the same time sad that they wouldn't accept him doing what he wanted to. _I'm an adult for Christ sakes, you'd think they'd realize that._ He shook his head; his mother wasn't going to let anyone do what they wanted to. It was her way or the highway, and she had just proved that point.

Alex turned the doorknob and went inside the bedroom. He was actually feeling tired. He removed his clothing and then proceeded to undress Fox.

"What are you doing?" Fox asked.

"I'm trying to make you feel comfortable."

"I'm not in the mood." Fox tried to roll over away from his grasp.

Although that statement made Alex cringe, he didn't back down. "Hey, sleeping in your clothes is not comfortable. Come on." He grabbed Fox's arm and helped him into a sitting position. He then took his shirt off and started to unbutton his jeans. Fox let him and lifted his hips to let them be removed from his body. Once Fox was clad only in his underwear, he rolled over to the edge of the bed, his back to Alex's side. Alex climbed in behind him and spooned his body around the back of his lover. He could feel the sobs before he could hear them. It seemed like all they did was cry lately. So much bullshit, so much pain was in their life lately. Alex wondered if they'd ever get through all of this.

_We have to. We just have to._

He kissed Mulder's ear as the tears flowed, not doing anything but holding his lover until they stopped many minutes later. Alex continued to kiss Mulder's ear and neck until his lover was asleep, himself following soon after.

Fox was up before Alex, although neither of them had slept very much the night before. The day was spent mostly in silence, Fox brooding in the back yard, raking leaves that weren't there. Sam and Alex watched him worriedly from the kitchen, while drinking endless cups of coffee. Jason headed back to Boston; there was some problem at his software company that only he could take care of. He was going to come back and collect Sam the day after the funeral as she had to get back to her practice as well.

Alex waited until Fox was in the shower before he got up and went to the closet. He took out his suit, the only suit he had here. He remembered when all he had was formal clothing from tuxedos to designer sweaters. He supposed they were all packed away somewhere after his parents had cleared out his apartment in Arlington after he was convicted. Out here with Fox, however, there was no need for that; in this town jeans were as formal as people got. Alex liked that; he had always been around people who had money and wealth in possessions. In this town, a wealthy man was a guy with a good job and a healthy family. He liked this simple life. _Simple! Yeah, right!_

He heard the shower turn off, and Fox padded into the bedroom soon after. He came over to the closet and stood beside Alex. Fox rummaged through the closet until he came to a garment bag, which he pulled out and laid on the bed.

Alex watched Fox carefully arrange the bag on the bed, noticing that he was wearing only a towel. Had this been another morning, he would have come up behind his lover, wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his still wet hair. Then he'd take off the towel and drop to his knees and... It was unfortunate this was not another morning. It was unfortunate that today they were burying Michael.

Fox opened the garment bag and pulled out a dark blue suit, which he hung on the back of the closet door. He brushed a few specs of lint off of it then got out the white shirt and tie that went with it.

Alex surveyed his own side of the closet; he had everything he needed. He made a mental note to buff his shoes...

"I've never owned a suit before," Fox said softly. "Sam bought me this suit early this year when I met Jason's parents. We went to the opera..." He caressed the dark wool between his fingers.

"Yes," Alex said. "You wrote me that night to tell me how much you had enjoyed yourself."

"It was the Magic Flute."

Alex nodded.

"I remember intently watching the opera, gathering as much information as I could so I could tell you about it. I wrote notes in my program about the costumes and the sets. How the lady who played the 'Queen of the Night's' voice went so high yet was so clear." Fox's eyes were glittering with tears. "I wanted to remember everything so I could tell you and not skip a detail. You had said you'd missed this opera when it was performed in Vienna during a Mozart festival one year. You were so disappointed that you had missed it. I wanted to be your eyes and ears that night. All through the performance though, I felt as if something was missing. I kept turning to my right, as if you were there beside me." Mulder gave a short laugh, "I'm sure Mrs. Prestwick thought I wasn't all there. She'd look back and smile..." Mulder laughed again. "And when Papagano found his true love after looking and looking for love, any love, it felt good. I felt such joy because I knew that _I_ had found my true love." A tear fell from Mulder's eye. "I had rushed Sam home so I could write it all down and send it priority mail to you."

"I remember," Alex whispered."

"I felt so good, I felt so happy. But now... the way I feel today, I don't know if I'll be able to feel that joy again."

Alex crossed the short space separating him and his lover and took him in his arms. Fox stayed there, holding him for a few moments before he pulled away.

"We have to get ready for the funeral," he said softly.

Alex reluctantly pulled away and went to have a shower.

The three of them rode to the funeral in silence, Sam driving. When they got to the cemetery, a twinge of regret and anxiousness started in Alex's stomach. He was afraid. He didn't know how these people would accept the two of them together at the funeral. What was he thinking? What the hell was he doing here at all? He should have stayed home. He stood tall and squared his shoulders; he was here to support Fox, and if they couldn't handle that, then too bad.

His bravado lasted only a few minutes until they got to the gravesite where the short ceremony was to take place. There were chairs on either side of the flower-laden coffin. By the amount of chairs, Alex suspected that there weren't going to be too many people attending. Michael's mom was sitting there along with her son Darryl and what looked like his wife and children. A few other people were also sitting down. Alex looked around nervously at everyone. It was a beautiful day; fall had come early this year. The leaves were tinged with crimson and gold against a brilliant blue sky. Alex wished he were somewhere else, somewhere with Fox under one of the trees in the back yard looking up at the sky, laughing.

Everyone's head turned and watched as he, Sam and Fox approached. Darryl sneered at them as they took their seats. He nodded at Brian Pendrell, who just raised his eyebrows. Alex sat back in his chair and fiddled with the buttons on the sleeve of his overcoat. He did _not_ want to be here. Suddenly, Sam grabbed his hand and squeezed it for a moment. She had sat between Fox and him so she could comfort them both.

More people came to sit in the chairs. Alex kept his head down, but he could feel them looking in their direction. Most people avoided sitting next to them until there were no chairs left and they were forced to. Alex finally looked up and right into the eyes of Jamie Ryder's mother. _Oh fuck, can this get_ any _worse?_ A small gasp left her mouth as she recognized Alex. Alex remained expressionless as he watched her grab onto a young man's arm. Alex suspected it was probably her youngest son. She took a seat and was hidden from view by the casket. Alex was grateful she couldn't see him anymore.

Alex looked back down to his sleeve and fiddled with his buttons again. He didn't want to face the accusing eyes of the people of this town.

Finally the pastor started his sermon. Alex seriously thought the pastor was going to point at him and Fox and yell, 'THEY KILLED MICHAEL! IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!' That didn't happen. The words that were said were very nice. One of Michael's nieces got up to sing a song. During that time, Alex looked over at Fox, who had tears streaming down his face. Sam had her arm around him and was rubbing his shoulder. Alex wanted to reach over and take Fox's hand, but under the circumstances, he didn't think it was such a good idea. How sad was this? How fucked up was this situation? He couldn't even comfort his lover, the man he hoped to be with for the rest of his life.

The young woman finished singing and they all stood. A prayer was said as the coffin was lowered into the ground. It was only then that Alex actually saw the people glaring at them. He shifted his stance and looked down at his hands again. He could see Fox still sobbing out of the corner of his eye.

Michael's mother placed a rose on the coffin as it descended to its final resting place and then the service was over. Fox walked up to the edge of the green carpeted hole and looked down into the grave. He brought something out of his pocket. It looked like a Boy Scout patch. Fox drew in a deep breath then let it out in a sigh. Tears were still running down his face.

"Goodbye, my friend," Alex heard Fox whisper. "I always loved you, Mike." Fox kissed the small patch of fabric and tossed it in the grave.

Alex felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. It wasn't supposed to be like this! They were all supposed to live happily ever after! How was he supposed to now compete with Mike's ghost?

Fox looked up at Alex and gave him a weak smile, but he could see in Fox's eyes that he wasn't looking at him; it was more like he was looking through him. Alex reached out and squeezed Fox's arm anyway. Fox turned and Sam linked her arm through his, and then they started to walk toward the car.

On the way, they encountered Mrs. Lindsey. Alex hoped they would go around her and be on their way, but Fox decided to speak to her.

Mrs. Lindsey, I'm...I'm sorry," Fox said.

She glared at Fox but reached out to give him a brief hug just the same. "Thank you, Fox," she replied curtly then turned away.

Alex felt another pang of guilt run through him. Suddenly, Darryl came up to them.

"You've got a lot of nerve coming here, Fox," he seethed. "Coming here with your little boy toy. Jamie's parents are here, for Christ sakes. Don't you have any respect, any common decency?"

Mrs. Lindsey grabbed Darryl's arm. "Darryl, that's enough."

"No, it's not, Mom If it wasn't for him, Mike would still be alive. I'd still have a little brother. He killed Michael, he and this...this murdering son of a bitch. They have no respect for human life. They have no respect for Michael. And this little...jerk has no respect for Jamie."

"Oh, and I suppose _you_ do, Darryl?" Fox surprised everyone with this statement.

"Excuse me?" Darryl sneered.

"You know, you talk about Mike like you loved him or something, when you hated him. What was that you said to him when he came out? 'I have no brother.' I was there, remember?"

"Yeah, when he came to tell me that _you_ turned him gay."

Fox snorted, "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, even from you." He ran his hand through his hair. "You know, he went to you because he was confused. He needed guidance; he needed his big brother to tell him what he was feeling was okay. The day he came out was supposed to be an enlightening experience. He wanted to get everything out in the open and lift the weight from his shoulders. He didn't want to live a lie. But you just pushed him away. You wouldn't let your kids see him, even though he loved those kids. He always wanted a family, and you took his one chance away from him."

"It's my fault? I see. I'm the bad guy here. I'm the bad guy, yet you're the best friend who ended up fucking his lover's murderer. _You_ killed him, Fox. _You_ broke his heart with your sick and twisted little fuck toy here. And you know what, _you_ have to live with it!" Darryl turned and stomped off in the direction of his car with his wife and daughter in tow.

Fox stood there, his face red, tears still streaming down his face, but these tears were from anger. Alex came up beside him and took his hand in his own. He didn't know what to say. They just stood there for a long time until Fox was able to walk to the car. The ride home was tense to say the least.

Jason was waiting for them when they got back to the house. He had cleared up the problem sooner than expected, and he knew Sam needed him right now. When he saw their faces, however, he made a motion to Sam and went upstairs to their room, speculating they would want to talk.

"Fox," Sam said quietly. "There's just one thing I want to say to you. It was _not_ your fault that Mike killed himself. I loved him too, but he was a weak man. He always has been. He ran away from here because he was scared of loving you all those years ago, and eventually he found Jamie, who took care of him. When Jamie died, he didn't know how to function on his own, and it was easier for him to blame everyone, rightly or wrongly. He took the easy out by killing himself rather than dealing with it, and much as I hate to say it, I think he intended to hurt you by doing it. He _knew_ how you'd feel, and he meant to hurt both of you by driving you apart. Don't let that happen." She kissed both of them on the forehead and went upstairs to Jason, letting him hold her as she cried out her own sorrow and pain.

Her statement fell on Fox with great importance. She was right, he knew she was right. He shouldn't blame himself for Mike's death. Mike always took everything to heart and got stressed out over the smallest problems. Like the archery patch. Mike hadn't been able to do it. He'd started shaking when it came time to do the test, which had thrown his aim off. He'd wanted that patch so bad... _and now he has it._

Fox started to cry again; he was so sick of crying, so sick of this grief and pain. He didn't know how to make it stop. He didn't know how to live his life as his own without having everyone hate him. There was only one thing to do. He would have to leave. He felt Alex's arms come around him, and he fell into his embrace as the thought of leaving his home weighed upon his shoulders.

How could he leave his home? His parents had bought this home forty years ago; he'd grown up in this house. He'd never lived anywhere else. His emotions overcoming him, Fox sank to the floor and clung to Alex's legs for dear life. He let out a large, shuddering sigh. "I...I have to leave my home." A sob left Fox's mouth. "I can't live here anymore."

Alex could only caress Fox's hair as he had a death-grip on his legs. He waited until Fox had calmed down somewhat before he spoke. "I have a condo in Boston that my grandfather left me. We could live there."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know, baby, but maybe it's for the best?"

Fox dried his eyes on the leg of Alex's pants, his arms still wrapped around him. His face was digging into Alex's hip. Suddenly, his fingers were kneading Alex's ass, and his chin was nuzzling his groin. Soon, he was starting to undo Alex's pants.

"What are you doing?"

"I need you, Alex. I need you to show me you aren't going to make me go through this all alone."

"I'm _not_ going to make you go through this all alone. We're in this together."

"I want you, Alex."

"No, Fox...no." He reached down and removed his now open pants from Fox's grasp.

"Don't you love me?"

"Of course I love you."

"Then fuck me, Alex!"

Alex got down so he was on the same level as Fox. "No. I'm not going to fuck for fuck's sake again. That wasn't lovemaking, that wasn't tender, that wasn't the way it was supposed to be." He paused. "I'm not fucking you anymore. I'm making love to you."

Fox felt hurt. How could Alex reject him like this?

"Please, Fox. Can't you see that we're just hurting each other this way? Can't you see that this mindless fucking doesn't mean anything? I want every time to mean something. You're just doing this to cover up bad feelings. You're using sex as a way of escape."

Alex took Fox's hands in his own; he hadn't said how he felt very many times before, but letting it out felt good. "Please, Fox, tell me what you're feeling. We have to talk to each other."

Fox winced, but he knew Alex was right. He had to stop this, had to be honest with Alex. "I want you to love me, but I'm afraid I'll lose you. Everyone I love leaves me," he said painfully. "My parents died and left me alone. Mike was my best friend and lover, and I thought we'd be together forever, and then one day he told me he was moving away. He never even asked if I'd go with him. Even Sam moved on, not that I blame her," he added hastily. "She grew up and had to go live her life, and I _never_ begrudged her that, but I was alone again." He shrugged sadly. "And now Mike's really gone forever. I guess I kept pushing you away so I wouldn't have to wait every day expecting you to realize what I was and go."

Alex wrapped his arms around Fox. "What is it going to take to make you believe that I love you?" he demanded in frustration. "I don't ever want to lose you, but I never know what you want."

"You."

"What?"

"I want you. Just you. Nothing more. I want to love you and you to love me."

Alex groaned. "Why do we keep going around in circles and ending up right back where we started from? If one of us isn't freaking out, the other is. Okay, let's try this one more time. To paraphrase a very wise and beautiful man, I, Alex Krycek, love you, Fox Mulder."

Mulder managed a faint grin at the repetition of his own words to Alex not that long ago. "Okay, I think it's sinking through my thick skull. I promise not to push you away anymore." Then he sighed. "Or at least I'll try my best."

"That's all I can ask of you," Alex replied, pressing a tender kiss on his lips.

Alex and Fox held each other silently for long minutes before Alex spoke. "Are we okay?"

"We're going to be," Fox said. He sighed sadly. "Sam was right, although I always refused to see it. I won't lose you to Mike's manipulations. God, I wish I could have helped him though."

"So do I, babe, so do I. I'm sorry you had to lose a friend over me."

Fox shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't mine. Mike made his choice, and now we have to get on with _our_ lives." He nuzzled into Alex's throat. "I do love you, you know."

"I know. I love you too." Both men smiled, albeit shakily, and Fox built up a fire, and they fell asleep in front of it.

Alex woke to the morning light streaming in the living room window. He tried to roll over but realized that he was half sitting, half lying on the couch. Fox's head was in his lap. He smiled as he looked down at his still sleeping lover. Last night was a breakthrough. They had confronted their feelings together, and the world had not ended. Somehow he knew they were going to be okay. He stroked Fox's soft hair and watched as he started to stir. Soon, Fox's hazel eyes blinked open and looked up at him.

"Hey," Alex said then bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

Just then Sam came downstairs. When she saw the two men together on the couch, a big smile appeared on her face, and she swooped down and hugged them. "I love both of you."

Fox groaned, "I can hear the violins now. Do you mind not squishing me?"

"Awww, big brother, you take the fun out of everything." She released them then stood up. "Jason and I have to go. I'm due back at work soon."

"I think that's my cue to make breakfast," Alex said. He kissed Fox on the mouth and went into the kitchen to make them all pancakes.

After Sam and Jason left, Alex and Fox snuggled down in the living room again. They spent the day on the couch watching television, grateful for the silence that enveloped the house. For a week there had been way too many people living in this home together. Dinnertime came and Alex made some pasta, but then they went back to watching TV again, curled around each other on the couch. It was as if they had suffered from sensory overload, and now they needed something mindless to do.

After about an hour, Alex excused himself and went upstairs, Fox remained on the couch watching TV. Soon, Alex was back. "Everything okay, babe?" he asked, not turning his head from the flickering in the corner.

"Everything's great, lover."

Fox smirked, Alex never called him _lover_ unless... His thoughts were cut off as a piece of smooth material covered his eyes. "Alex, what are you doing?"

Fox heard a chuckle and then, "That's for me to know and you to find out."

Fox was pulled up to his feet, and he tried to reach out to the man in front of him.

"Uh-uh! You can't touch until I say so. Come with me."

"That's not fair."

"Trust me, Fox."

Fox sniggered; whatever Alex had in store for him was sure to be good. He was led up the stairs and to their bedroom. He couldn't see any light at all from the edges of the blindfold.

Suddenly, hands were on him, caressing him, removing his clothing. His shirt was pulled over his head and Alex's tongue was lapping at his nipples in an instant. He then began to suck on one, making it harder and harder. Fox let out a gasp as Alex bit down and sucked, marking him, making his cock twitch. Then Alex's mouth moved down his chest and slowly licked a trail to his navel. Alex lingered there for a few moments nuzzling the hairs on his belly.

Fox was sweating with anticipation. It had been so long since they had actually made love without having to keep quiet due to other people in the house or fucking for no other purpose than to fuck. Thumbs hooked into the waistband of his sweats. They and his underwear were brought off in one motion. Now he was naked. Alex's mouth was kissing down his leg, but then it was gone.

"Turn around," came the soft command. Fox obliged and turned. "Get on the bed and lie on your back."

Fox lay down on the bed, feeling that the sheets had been turned back and a single pillow was on it. He placed his head on the pillow and folded his hands on his chest, but Alex moved his arms down to his sides instead. He could feel the mattress dip as Alex sat beside him.

The smell of almonds and vanilla came to him just as the warm oil hit his chest. Alex straddled him and Fox could feel that his partner was hard. This set his own cock in motion again and he let out a moan. Talented fingers started massaging him, moving the oil around, caressing every inch of the front of his body. Alex's mouth preceded the oil, kissing, nipping at the skin then soothing with his touch.

Fox moaned, he could feel the love radiating from Alex with every movement of his fingers. Alex's hands wandered down to his legs, massaging the strong muscles down to his feet. Fox noticed that his cock was being avoided and ached for Alex to touch it.

"Don't worry, baby, I'm going to make you feel so good," Alex said as if reading his mind.

Fox only offered a moan of contentment that sounded more like a purr as he was rolled over onto his stomach. He positioned himself so the weight of his body pleasantly pressed down upon his cock and balls.

Not being able to see made Alex's motions even more erotic. Fox may not have been able to see him, but he could smell the oil and smell his lover and hear him breathe. He could also feel Alex's hard cock rest against his body. His fingers worked like magic, the strokes providing just enough pressure to soothe as well as arouse.

Fox's back was being massaged now, Alex's strong hands digging into the muscles. His hands went lower, down to Fox's waist where they spent a long time caressing and teasing the small of his back. Alex knew this was an erogenous zone for Fox and made sure he was plenty frustrated before he moved on.

Fox was so hard. Every stroke of Alex's hands brushed his cock against the rough sheets and his smooth belly, leaving him aching and wanting more. He was fighting the urge to just fuck the sheets and be done with it, but the rational side of him told him that he would be rewarded soon enough.

"I need you, Alex."

"I need you too, baby," came the husky reply to his ear. "Just a little bit more."

Fox let out a whimper but lay still just the same. Alex's slick fingers were now kneading his ass, his thumbs moving down on either side of his crack. Lower and lower his thumbs went until they were at his opening. Fox spread his legs and readjusted himself so that his cock poked down, hoping for some contact.

Alex's thumb dug in and around his anus, spreading the oil around before it went inside, making the hole wider. His other thumb soon joined the first, stretching it wider, searching for and finding that special spot in Fox's ass.

Fox jumped at the first caress of his prostate, and Alex did it again and again. Fox was biting his lip to keep from coming and was making a whimpering sound signaling he was close.

"I've got what you want, Fox."

"Give it to me, Alex...I want you...I need you."

Fox felt Alex's cock press up against him. "I need you too, baby."

Slowly, Fox was filled, and his hands grabbed the sheets before him. He still had the blindfold on and couldn't see his lover. He brought his knees under him and pushed his ass back into Alex's groin. After a few tentative strokes, Alex was thrusting into him with power, making the bed shake and bump against the wall.

"God, I love you, Fox. I love you so much," Alex panted.

"I love you too, Alex," Fox whimpered. Suddenly, he was flipped over onto his back, and his legs were raised, and Alex was leaning over and kissing him. The blindfold came off, and he stared into dilated pupils lit by candlelight.

"Tell me again...tell me..." Alex reared up and moaned; his climax was coming soon. He wrapped his hand around Fox's cock and started pumping counter to his thrusts.

"I love you, Alex...oh God...." Fox groaned and gasped as he came, spattering both men with his semen.

Alex let out another moan and then stiffened. He thrust a few more times then collapsed forward onto Fox's chest. Both men lay there, breathing heavily, unable to do much more.

A few minutes later, Alex looked up into Fox's eyes and caressed the side of his face. "I love you, too," he whispered and kissed his partner for a long time. He then disengaged himself from Fox and cleaned them up before he returned to the bed, candlelight bathing his body in a warm glow of soft yellow light.

The men snuggled together, endorphins running through their veins. _Alex was right, making love is different. It's special._ He kissed Alex on the mouth and snuggled down into his chest. They stayed like that for a long time.

"I guess we have to start packing," Fox said as he propped his head on his hands and looked up at his lover.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Alex caressed his hair.

Fox shook his head. "We can't stay here. We can't be prisoners in our own home." He sighed. "At first I was reluctant to go even though I knew that we'd never be accepted. I thought of it as running away from our problems. But now, we've tried to face our problems head on, and we're not getting anywhere. It's... counterproductive to stay here."

"I agree. As much as I want to stay here in this lovely house, I can't watch you go through any more pain."

Fox caressed the side of Alex's face and kissed him. "Thank you. Thank you for being there."

"Where else would I be?" Alex grabbed him in a tight embrace.

Fox didn't answer him; instead he shut his eyes and hugged Alex back. Leaving his boyhood home would be hard, but moving to a new city would give them the chance to start over. He kissed the chest beneath him. Not many people got a second chance at life, but he did and for that he was grateful.

 

_I've become impossible_  
holding on to when   
when everything seemed to matter more   
the two of us   
all used and beaten up   
watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose

_you and me_  
we're in this together now   
none of them can stop us now   
we will make it through somehow   
you and me   
if the world should break in two   
until the very end of me   
until the very end of you

_\- "We're in this Together" -_ Nine Inch Nails


	6. Promises Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Fox move to Boston and get one with their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is new to AO3 as of November 2015.   
> Co-written with Nicole S. Originally posted March 2000.

Fox wandered the condominium in amazement. When Alex had said that he'd inherited one from his grandfather, he had expected a small, apartment-sized condo. This, though, was huge. There was more space than in his whole house. The living room alone was bigger than the entire ground floor of the home he'd grown up in. Alex had neglected to mention that it was a penthouse, taking up the entire top two floors of a Boston high-rise. He'd known that Alex's family was wealthy, but he'd had no idea of the scope of their wealth. He was suddenly embarrassed by the house he'd expected Alex to live in with him.

Arms suddenly wrapped around his middle, pulling him back against a broad chest, and a chin nestled on his shoulder. Alex had been watching his lover and was cutting off the growing insecurity he could see in Fox's face.

"It's only things, Fox," Alex murmured in his ear, nuzzling him. "Without love it's nothing. You've given me what I was missing, and you and Sam have given me a family. I can never thank you enough for that."

Fox slowly relaxed into his embrace, but... "You have so _much_ money, Alex. Why didn't you tell me?"

Alex shrugged as best he could without letting go of Mulder. "I told you my family was wealthy."

"Alex! Wealthy is not having to worry about how to pay for your vacation. This... this is like something you see on TV. Your dad's a millionaire, isn't he?"

Alex nodded indifferently. "Yeah, for all the good it's done him. My mother measures everyone and everything by bank balance and social status, and my father's miserable. I'm not denying that having money makes life easier, but you're what I care about. If I ever had to make a choice, I'd give up the money in a second." He grinned suddenly. "Fortunately, I get to have you and the money, so I can make both our lives easier. Don't think you're getting out of going back to school, babe."

"Alex," Fox started to protest.

Alex moved away to sit on a couch under what looked like an original Picasso. "No, Fox, you're not going to talk me out of this. You and I both know that you wanted to do something very different with your life, and it's not too late. I can afford this, and I want to do it for you. I want you to be happy."

Mulder sighed. He paced around uncomfortably, picking up a statuette here and a book there, fidgeting as he avoided answering. Alex waited him out, quite prepared to sit there all day if that was what it took. Finally, Mulder turned around like a cornered animal.

"I don't want you to buy me," he burst out, only to be silenced by the look of hurt on Alex's face. "Oh God, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Please, listen to me, baby. I've been paying my own way for a long time. I need to feel like I'm contributing."

Alex sighed. "I do understand that, Fox. But I can afford this easily, and when you're done, you'll have a career that you actually enjoy. I just want to make you happy. Besides, eventually you'll probably make more money than I will." He grinned suddenly. "And I assure you that I'll be more than happy to let you keep me."

Mulder looked around the condo then back at Alex with an expression of disbelief on his face.

"Hey, you're going to be a productive member of society. I'm the one whose only job prospect is now impossible and with 'ex-con' on my resume," Alex finished with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Fox walked over to him and pulled him to his feet and into his embrace. "You'll find something else you want to do, baby."

Alex shrugged awkwardly, his head on Fox's shoulder. "I guess. But for now, I just want to take care of you. Please?"

Mulder could hear the pleading in the younger man's voice. He also remembered how good it had made him feel to be able to take care of Samantha, and he realized that he did have something to give his lover. He smiled and held him tightly, his head coming to rest against the sable one on his shoulder.

After a moment, Fox started his explorations again, this time with Alex's hand held firmly in his own. He'd brought all his clothing and personal possessions, but they'd left all the furniture in the house until they could decide what they wanted to keep. As Alex showed him around his new home, both men kept finding places for Fox's belongings, some fitting nicely with what was already there, others replacing existing furnishings. Alex smiled happily.

"This is going to be _our_ home."

Eventually they ended their tour in the master bedroom, which Alex had kept for last. Fox dropped onto the king-size bed and flashed the other man a come-hither look. Alex grinned, slowly stripping off his clothing under Mulder's heated gaze.

"You haven't seen my bathroom yet."

Mulder looked at him like he was nuts. "What's so special about a bathroom?"

"Come see," Alex purred, backing through a doorway on the other side of the room.

Fox sighed and followed his lover, shedding his own clothes as he did. As he stepped through the doorway, he stopped dead with his jaw hanging down. For a moment he thought he'd stepped into some Eastern potentate's sybaritic pleasure palace. He was surrounded by Venetian marble, fixtures that looked to be crystal and gold, a plethora of ferns and other tropical plants, mirrors, plush towels and carpeting, and the whole of it bathed in natural light from the huge skylight. He could also see dozens of candles and imagined that it must be a fairyland at night.

He turned to meet Alex's smile with his own. "It's amazing."

Alex nodded. "It sure gave me a whole new perspective on my grandfather when I saw it after I inherited this place."

Fox chuckled. "Your grandparents must have had a very happy marriage."

"They did. And we're going to be just as happy."

Alex turned away to fill the hot tub, pouring in a small amount of a liquid that smelled pleasantly musky with overtones of sandalwood. He turned on the jets in the tub, and the bubble bath he'd added frothed up, filling the tub with mountains of bubbles. He slid into the hot water, holding out a hand to Fox, who took it and followed him in.

They settled on the ledge, side by side, with blissful sighs. For several minutes they just sat there, eyes closed, letting all their tensions wash away. After a little while Alex shifted around and pulled Fox back to lean against him.

Mulder started to chuckle and, in response to Alex's inquiring look, explained, "I feel like I'm starring in a remake of the bath scene in 'Pretty Woman'."

Alex burst into laughter, nearly drowning before Fox hauled him back upright. When he caught his breath, he gasped, "Should I call you Julia?"

Mulder splashed him. "Only if you want me to drown you."

Alex chuckled and pulled him back again, enjoying the feeling of his lover against him. He picked up a body mitt and squirted bath gel onto it so he could wash Fox. He slowly worked up a lather and started at Mulder's shoulders and worked his way down. He did each arm, taking care to get each finger, then moved on to his chest and torso while Mulder purred with contentment.

Alex shifted out from behind him, moving in front of Fox to wash his legs, nibbling on his toes and loving the sound of Mulder's giggles. He leaned forward to share a long, sweet kiss before making Mulder turn around so he could wash his back.

"Stand up, Fox, and lean on the side," he murmured, pausing to admire the beautiful sight when Mulder obeyed. He pulled off the bath mitt and ran caressing hands over the tight globes, followed by his tongue.

Fox shuddered at the sensation of Alex's warm tongue moving over his ass. He remained motionless, praying that Alex would touch him the way he needed. A faint whimper escaped him when he felt Alex's thumbs part his cheeks and his tongue stroke along the crevasse, probing gently at the tight muscle. He gasped Alex's name pleadingly, clutching desperately at the rim of the tub.

Alex moved closer, pressing against the back of Fox's legs. He slipped one hand between his thighs, running his fingers over the perineum, then cupping the sensitive sac. He wrapped his other arm around Fox, his fingers closing over the taut erection that had risen against his belly. He rubbed his own cock against Mulder's leg, his tongue working in and out of his ass and his hand pumping Fox's cock.

Mulder moaned desperately, pushing back against Alex, then pushing forward into his hand. "God, Alex, _please_ ," he begged. "I need you." He reached back and clutched at Alex's hip, trying to tug him closer.

Alex stood up, sliding along Fox's body until his erection nestled between the firmly muscled cheeks and both men moaned softly. "Soon, lover," he whispered, nibbling on an earlobe. "Let me make you feel good."

Mulder laughed hoarsely. "If you make me feel any better, you're going to kill me! Oh, fuck!" he wailed when the head of Alex's cock slipped past the loosened ring of muscle.

Alex slowly slid home inside him until his balls were flush against Fox's ass, then he pulled his lover upright and carefully turned them around. He held Fox still for a moment, fingering plucking softly at nipples and cock, enjoying the sounds of his moans, then slowly sat down, bringing Fox with him to end up in his lap. He spread his legs wide, forcing Fox's even wider, and reached down to stroke the rigid, straining flesh and the sac nestled behind. "Ride me, baby," he gasped out.

Fox moaned wildly. When he caught his breath, he raised himself slightly then sank back again, repeating the motion over and over while Alex stroked his erection until his thighs quivered with the strain. He tried to speed up, but Alex wouldn't let him.

"Slowly, my beautiful Fox. I want to make long, slow love to you in our new home."

The sound of Alex's husky voice in his ear, followed by his tongue licking softly along the side of his throat was too much for Mulder, and he cried out as he came, warm fluid spurting over Alex's fist and mixing with the water around them. He moaned softly, feeling Alex's cock still hard and heavy within him. Alex continued stroking his still semi-erect cock, not letting him soften, and he whimpered at the friction on his hypersensitive flesh.

"I love how I can make you lose control, baby," Alex rasped, "but I want to come with you. I need you to get hard again for me, lover." He licked along Fox's throat again, nearly losing it at the shudder that ran through his lover.

Fox moaned. "God, baby, you know I'd do anything for you, but.... ohhhhh.... I can't. Shit! Oh fuck, Alex.... God!" He couldn't believe it when he realized that he'd never fully softened after he came and he was erect and aching again. He pushed into Alex's hand, his own hand closing over it and guiding it along his length. His head sank back against Alex' shoulder, and he turned it to the side to press a kiss to the water slick chest.

Alex gasped and arched up under Mulder, making the other man moan as he pushed deeper inside him. Alex couldn't stand it any more and he heaved up, draping Fox over the side of the tub again. Fox clung to the rim while Alex thrust into him, hard and deep, one hand on his hip and the other pumping his cock.

Fox sobbed Alex's name, the pleasure so sharp it was almost pain. He thrust back against him, then forward into his fist, wanting more, wanting to come, wanting it never to end. He groaned when Alex bit down on his shoulder, and he could feel his teeth sink in. He could feel tiny rivulets of blood run down from the bite, followed by Alex's tongue lapping it away, and he screamed Alex's name, convulsing as he came again.

Alex yelled as Fox's ass clamped down on him, milking him, and he lurched forward, pushing even deeper as he came, sinking down over Fox's back with his hand still cupping his groin protectively. After a moment, he straightened up so as not to crush his lover, and sank back down on the ledge, bringing Fox, still joined, with him. He held Fox tightly to him, feeling the other man's arms come around him to hold him equally fiercely. When he softened and slipped out of Mulder, Fox turned in Alex's embrace and latched onto his mouth, kissing him deeply, seemingly trying to meld them together.

When lack of air forced them to part, Alex stood up and stepped out of the tub, drawing Mulder after him. "Come on, we need to get out before we shrivel up." He wrapped a fluffy bath sheet around his lover, drying him tenderly, then dried himself and led the way back into the bedroom. Exhausted by the steam and their exertions, they crawled into bed and dozed off in the afternoon sunlight.

A few hours later, Alex woke with a start, and looked at the clock. He sat up in bed and cursed softly to himself before looking at Fox. His lover was snuggled down in the bed, sleeping peacefully. The blankets had shifted when Alex sat up, revealing Fox's muscular back and part of his ass. Alex could feel his groin stir as he stared at the upper portion of Mulder's ass; it was perfect in every way. He reached his hand out to touch the taut muscles but stopped himself; he couldn't be late for his appointment with his parole officer and, unfortunately, didn't have time to do anything creative at the moment. Hell, he'd nearly forgotten about it, earlier. Naked Fox Mulder seemed to have that effect on him.

He jumped out of bed and had a quick shower to wash the sleep from his body and to quell his erection. The water was as cold as he could stand it, making him soft and limp after a few minutes. When he came back to the bedroom, Fox was sitting up, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

"Hey," he said, yawning.

"Hey," Alex replied, smiling. He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed Mulder, who immediately tried to bring him back to bed for another round.

Alex pulled away, his cock forgetting the cold shower and springing to life again. "I can't, babe; I have a meeting." He stood and went to his closet.

"A meeting?" Mulder asked, his voice wary.

Alex frowned at his closet, he'd have to go shopping, as most of the clothes in it were a few years old. While they still probably fit, and weren't out of style, it would be nice to get something new. It would also be fun to take Fox shopping.

"Fox, let's go shopping tomorrow," Alex said as he reached for the nearest, mostly new suit in his closet.

"Wait a minute, Alex, where are you going? What's this meeting?"

He turned around and looked at his confused lover. He draped the suit over a chair and came back to sit beside him on the bed, taking his hand and caressing it.

"I'm sorry. I'm nervous." He took a deep breath. "I have a meeting with my parole officer, and I don't know what to expect. I was hoping once we moved, it would all go away, but it's not going to."

Mulder squeezed his hand, "For you, think of it as a formality. He's going to make sure that you're doing okay, that you don't violate your parole in any way, which you won't. But it's part of the process, babe."

"Do they really think that I'm going to do something as stupid as that again?" Alex raked his fingers through his hair. "And what about us? What if he doesn't like the idea of me living with a man? What if he writes a bad report about me because I have money? What if.."

"Alex," Mulder cut him off. "You can't do this to yourself. He can't put you back in jail if he doesn't like you. It'll be okay." He reached out and caressed Alex's face then kissed him.

Mulder was right, he was being silly. He'd managed to survive prison, Mike's funeral, and his mother living with him for a week; if he could survive that, he could survive anything.

Alex extracted himself from his lover's embrace after a few minutes. "I really have to go." He stood and got dressed, Mulder watching him the whole time, which didn't make things easier. He placed a quick kiss on his forehead before he left the bedroom.

He went down to his car, regretting he had to leave Mulder more with every inch farther he got from him. He'd hoped that they could spend the entire day in bed, making love. He smiled, they could do that tomorrow.

Alex got to the parole office with mere minutes to spare. He sat in the waiting room with the other men and some wives and girlfriends, waiting to see the Parole Officers. His guard was up, and he felt himself tense, as if he was inside again. No one looked at each other; no one talked to each other; no one read the magazines; they just sat and waited.

Finally, fifteen minutes later, Alex's name was called. His stomach jumped as he stood and followed the receptionist to a small office down a corridor. The receptionist left, and Alex stood in the doorway. Behind the desk was a man in his 30s, with a beard and three-piece suit. He was on the phone but motioned for Alex to come inside. Alex closed the door behind him and sat down in the chair facing the desk. Mounds of paper and files covered the desk and credenza beside it.

After a minute, the man hung up. "Krycek, right?" The man stood, smiled, and extended his hand. Alex stood and shook it.

"Yeah, Alex Krycek."

Both men sat down.

"I'm John Byers, and I'll be looking out for you for the next..." He consulted the file in his hand, "two years, while you're on probation."

Alex frowned, confused, "Look out for me?"

"Help you find a place to live, a job, any counseling you need, or treatment. Help you fit back into society." Byers looked at him and nodded. "You thought I was going to interrogate you, right? You thought that I'd be suspicious of everything?"

Alex nodded.

"Contrary to popular belief, we really are here to help you. We don't want you to end up back inside. If we can help you help yourself, then you won't, right? It's all here in this handbook." Byers handed him a small book, threw the file on the desk, and leaned back in his chair. "First things first, no drugs. We'll be testing you at random when you come in for your meetings. Second, you need to work. I know your family and reputation, Krycek; you've got a ton of money, and don't have to worry about supporting yourself, but if you don't work, you violate your parole." He shuffled a few papers and held one out to Alex. "This is a list of potential employers that hire ex-cons, based on your experience inside. I know you were to go into law enforcement before your term, but to tell you the honest truth, you can't even get a job as a doorman with a felony on your record."

Byers shifted in his chair and gave Alex the rest of the rules and regulations about his parole, how he couldn't leave the state without written permission, how he had to check in every six weeks, how he could get help if he needed it. At the end of the meeting, Alex was given a specimen bottle for a urine sample. He went to the washroom and peed in the jar, feeling humiliated and dirty. He didn't do drugs; he wasn't going to violate his parole; didn't they know he wasn't like that anymore? He gave it to the nurse, who marked his name on it, then he left the office.

Clutching his sheaf of papers, he went down to his car and sat there for a few minutes, staring off into space. He picked up the list of employers, noticing that they were mostly kitchen jobs. He didn't want to do that anymore; he was better than that. He wanted to show people that he wasn't just some ex-con with no skills and no prospects. Sure, he had money, but even if he hadn't, he'd still want to do something worthwhile with his life. It was an obscure blessing in disguise that he'd gone to prison and actually found out what hard labour was like, learning a work ethic in the process. He liked being busy, he liked working, but he couldn't work in a kitchen again, that was for sure. He sat there for a few more minutes, before he picked up his cell-phone and made a call.

After Alex left, Mulder got dressed and started exploring the condo, although mansion was a more appropriate name for it. He couldn't believe the fine art that decorated the walls and expensive knickknacks that were everywhere. Some of it wasn't to his taste, however, but who was he to judge?

"I'm just a hick compared to these people," Mulder said as he looked upon the Picasso. He wandered around the condo some more, mentally placing some of his furniture here and there, double-checking the ideas he and Alex had discussed when they did the same thing together. He decided that he would bring a few of his favourite items here; he needed some familiarity. His antiques would fit in with the decor nicely. Sam would take the rest, as she and Jason wanted it for their new home.

He went down a hallway from the living room to the office that Alex had already told him was his, saying he needed a quiet place to study. His computer was already here; all it needed was to be plugged in. Mulder walked into the room, intending to set it up, when he heard someone in another room. He suspected it was Alex back from his meeting. He wasn't sure exactly where he was, however, as the place was so big.

Mulder walked through the living room and into the kitchen, where he happened upon a young woman in her twenties.

She looked up at him and smiled. There was a package from a florist on the counter, and she was filling a vase with water. Mulder looked at her strangely.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"No," she said and undid the paper holding the flowers inside.

"Who are you?"

The young lady looked up at Mulder, confusion on her face. "What do you mean?"

"The flowers are beautiful, but what are you doing here?"

She looked at him strangely for a second and started laughing. "I guess no one told you." She wiped her hand on a tea towel and extended it to him. "I'm Sarah, I work here."

Mulder took her hand and shook it, frowning. "You work here?"

"I take care of the place for Alex. I do the cleaning, laundry, dishes, make sure there are fresh flowers. I'm not allowed to cook, though; he likes to do that himself. You must be Fox. Alex told me all about you when he called the other day to say he was moving back."

"Yeah, oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. So, you're the maid?"

She frowned at him. "Maid isn't really used anymore. Domestic Goddess is the more correct title."

He just stared at her.

"It was a joke."

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Mulder shook his head. "I'm sorry, I've never had a... someone to take care of things like that for me before."

"That's okay, you'll get used to it. My mom owns the cleaning company that Alex's grandparents used, so I naturally followed in her footsteps."

"I see. Well, it was nice to meet you, Sarah."

"Nice to meet you, too." She turned and went back to her flowers.

Mulder left the kitchen and went back to the office to hook up his computer. This was very strange; he was used to doing everything himself.

Alex got home to find Mulder sitting at his computer, listening to some music. He stood in the doorway, watching Mulder click the mouse and type a few things on the keyboard. He was wearing his glasses; God, he was sexy when he wore glasses. Suddenly, Mulder looked up and smiled when he saw him then turned down the music.

"When did you get back?"

"Just now."

"How was your meeting?"

Alex came up behind Mulder and hugged him then kissed his ear. "Checking out the university, huh? Good idea. It was okay. He told me the rules and regulations. They gave me a drug test, which I didn't like."

Mulder reached up and caressed Alex's arms. "That's just procedure, babe. They give one to everybody."

"Yeah, I guess so. I felt like I was back inside, though, like I was being controlled or something."

"It's going to take time until you feel like your old self again."

Alex went around and looked at Mulder. "I don't want to be my old self; that man was a spoiled, rude brat. I like who I am now."

Mulder stood and hugged Alex. "I like who you are, too." They embraced for a minute, before Mulder pulled away. "I met Sarah today. Why didn't you tell me about her?"

Alex bit his lower lip. "Oops. I guess I forgot to tell you."

"It was very interesting, to say the least. Any other staff I should know about? Jeeves the butler? Kato the pool boy?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Nope, just Sarah. But a pool boy sounds nice. A sexy, young stud to lounge around the whirlpool in the bathroom."

"Don't you dare!" Mulder kissed Alex fiercely. "I'm the only one who gets to wash behind your ears."

"Mmmm, I'll make you wash more than behind my ears." Alex smirked and kissed him again. "Hey," he said. "I didn't tell you my good news. I've got a job."

"You do? Where?"

"With Jason Prestwick."

"Really? You've been here one day, and you're already hobnobbing with software conglomerates."

Alex laughed, "Yeah, next stop Microsoft. When I was to graduate from Quantico, I was supposed to work for computer crimes. You know, catching hackers, developing software that's unhackable. So, I went to see Jason today to see if he could use me, and he said yes." He looked at his watch, "And he and your sister should be here in about twenty minutes to join us for a celebratory dinner."

Just then the doorbell rang. "Or sooner."

The four of them went out for a nice dinner at an upscale restaurant. Jason filled everyone in on Alex's duties to head up the design division of his software company. Sam was beaming, she was so happy that her brother was here with her in Boston, and Alex working for Jason couldn't be a better combination. Then Jason told Alex that he had received a phone call just prior to meeting them for dinner. It seemed that there was a problem in the New Bedford office setting up the new system. Alex was very familiar with this type of system, so he would be going there with Jason the day after tomorrow to help debug the system. He'd be gone about three days.

Mulder was happy for Alex. He knew the kinds of jobs ex-cons usually got; heading up a division at a software company wasn't usually one of them. He didn't like the idea of him going out of town, though; they just got here, but at least he couldn't travel very far for too long.

After dinner, everyone went back to their respective houses, Mulder and Fox lying naked beside each other, caressing each other until they fell asleep.

The next day, as Alex promised, he and Mulder went shopping. Hours later, they returned home, laden down with bags, and more clothes on order. Alex insisted that Mulder get a tuxedo made for Sam's wedding and also ordered a suit for him. With Mulder going back to school, he wouldn't need more than that. Alex, however, had ordered a number of suits for himself. They also bought a large number of upscale casual clothes.

The bed was covered with bags, Mulder not knowing where to start putting the purchases away. Actually, Alex had purchased everything, not letting Mulder crack his wallet once, not even for lunch. Mulder had argued with him, telling him that his love didn't need to be bought. Alex had told him that this was merely a thank you for putting him up in his home for those weeks and all the hard work he had done in preparing his house for him. Mulder reluctantly accepted, and Alex continued to buy him anything he wanted.

"This is way too much," Mulder said as he dug into a bag and pulled out a shirt.

"You need clothes for school."

"I could clothe an army with all this stuff."

Alex came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, "But no one looks as good in them as you do."

Mulder's breath caught in the back of his throat as he felt the back of his neck being nibbled on.

"When you tried on those leather pants, I was so turned on. I almost didn't let you go back into the changing room alone."

"I can't believe you bought me leather pants."

"They're so fucking sexy on you. They fit like a glove." Alex trailed his hand down Mulder's side to cup his ass. "It's too bad that you didn't have them on right now."

Mulder felt Alex's hot breath on his neck and his hand coming around to squeeze the bulge in his jeans. "Why?" he whispered.

"'Cause then I could rip them off of you and fuck you blind." Mulder whimpered and his cock hardened under Alex's touch. "It looks like I'm just going to have to settle for fucking you blind."

With one flick of the wrist, Alex sent the comforter and all the bags on the bed flying. He then dragged Mulder down on top of the bed, kissing him madly. Hands flew over each other's bodies as articles of clothing were removed and thrown onto the pile already on the floor. Mouths and hands were everywhere, sucking and caressing, until both men started panting.

"Alex, I need you. Fuck me like you said you would."

Alex looked down at his sweating lover; his cock was purple with blood and need, his lips swollen, and there was a mark on the inside of his thigh. The look on his face was one of pure lust, and Alex nearly came from that alone. Quickly, he lubed up his cock and his fingers then prepared his lover. Mulder held his legs open wide as Alex's fingers dug inside him, whimpering and cursing for him to finish him off.

Alex held his cock by the base and looked Mulder in the eye. "You want this, baby?"

"Goddamn it, fuck me already," Mulder said through clenched teeth.

Alex plunged inside Mulder's tight heat, not pausing or stopping, instead pumping madly. He clutched Mulder's cock and pulled it with his slick hand, teeth gritted, letting out a feral moan. Mulder's hips raised to meet Alex's thrusts, his hands still keeping his legs wide open for his lover. Fast and furious Alex slammed into his lover, making sure Mulder came before he did, spilling his seed all over his fist. Alex let himself go, moaning Fox's name over and over again as he collapsed forward onto his lover's chest.

Mulder spent the next two days at the university meeting with counselors. By the end of the second day, he had registered for some upgrading classes that started in January. After that, he met Sam and her partner, Dana Scully, for dinner.

He and Dana hit it off right away. He liked her. She claimed to be serious and focused only on work, but Mulder made her smile. By the end of the night, the three of them were getting looks from the other patrons in the restaurant, because they were laughing so hard. They lingered a long time, having coffee and dessert, reacquainting themselves with one another. He could see that Sam was pleased they got along so well.

He got home a little after ten in the evening. The doorman had a FedEx package waiting for him. Mulder tucked it under his arm and went up to their condo. When he got into his new home, he found everything pristine. The dishes were washed and put away; it was dusted and vacuumed. The water in the flowers had even been changed. He didn't know if he could get used to this; sure, he didn't have to do any housework, but he was afraid to touch anything, lest he wreck it or something. It was going to take time to be able to call this home.

He went upstairs, tearing open the FedEx package. Inside were a small videotape, tape adapter, and a note. Mulder sat on the edge of the bed and read the note.

'Lover,

Open the cabinet at the foot of the bed, there's a TV and VCR in there.

Alex'

Mulder smirked and opened the cabinet, revealing just what Alex had said. He turned both machines on, put the tape with adapter in the VCR, grabbed the remote and pressed play. The tape revealed Alex from the neck up, from what looked like a hotel room.

"Hey, babe. I've been away from you for one day and I'm going nuts. When I spoke to you an hour ago on the phone, I said I was going to sleep, but instead I went out and bought this video equipment. I miss you so much, and I know you miss me, so we can do this together."

Then the camera zoomed out and revealed that Alex was naked and hard. A small remote control was in his hand. Mulder's mouth opened, and he sucked in his breath, then he smiled.

"By the time you get this, you'll have gotten back from dinner with your sister and her partner. I hope you had a good time. I also hope you're ready for dessert."

Alex ran his hands over his body then grabbed on to his cock. A jolt ran through Mulder's groin, and his cock started to throb as he watched his lover touch himself.

"Take your clothes off, babe, I'll wait."

Mulder looked at the television screen, unmoving.

"C'mon, take them off. I won't start without you."

Mulder smirked and shed his clothes, leaving them draped over a chair. He went back and sat on the bed. Alex was lying on his own bed, his hands lightly skimming over his body. In a few seconds, he sat up.

"You finished? Good. Now make yourself real comfortable, but make sure you can see me."

Mulder reached behind him and grabbed a few pillows, piling them up so he could lean back.

"God, I'm aching for you, Fox. See what you do to me when you're not even here?"

The camera zoomed in on Alex's cock; it was swollen, and the veins were standing out prominently. Alex's hand moved up and down it a few times, and a finger flicked over the head. A spot of moisture formed at the tip.

"See, baby. See this. This is yours. But it's lonely without you." The camera zoomed out again, showing Alex, lips parted, breathing heavily.

"Do this with me. I want you to come with me."

Mulder's cock twitched and hardened even more. The close up shot of Alex's cock was burned into his mind, making the precome glisten on the head. Alex let go of his cock and moved his hands up to his nipples.

"Pinch your nipples, like I'm doing."

Mulder ran his hands up his own torso and pinched his own nipples. He let out a gasp and a moan as the action sent a wave of pleasure throughout him.

"You like that? I know your nipples are sensitive; I bet I could make you come just from sucking on them." Alex moaned then laughed, "I'm going to try that when I come home."

Mulder moaned; this was turning him on so much.

"Now move your hands lower, babe. Lower to the curls at your groin. You know what I like? I like it when they tickle my nose when your cock is down my throat. God, what I wouldn't do to taste you right now."

Mulder gasped; he'd never heard Alex speak this way before. They'd never vocalized sex before. Sure, they'd written it in letters to each other when Alex was on the inside, but now he could see him and hear his voice. It was overloading his senses; he thought he'd surely explode the second he actually touched his cock.

"Cup your balls and feel their weight in your hand. I bet they're tight right now. I love sucking on them and rolling them in my mouth. But for now, you're going to have to use your fingers."

A loud moan escaped Mulder's mouth, and more precome flowed out of his cock.

"Spread your legs, lover. There's that spot just behind your balls, press on it." Alex gasped then whimpered. "It's so good. I don't know how much longer I can last. I wish I could be doing this to you; you're so beautiful when you're all turned on. Sometimes I can't control myself and need to calm down, because just looking at you can make me hard and make me want to fuck you through a wall."

Mulder kept his eyes locked on the green ones on the television screen. He was gasping for breath. Then Alex moved his hand down to grab his turgid cock, and his eyes fluttered shut for a second.

"Touch your cock, baby. I'm ready to come, and I need you to come with me."

Mulder grabbed himself and flicked his thumb over the head, causing even more fluid to leak out of the slit in the top. Nope, he wasn't going to last long.

"Y...yeah, c'mon, baby. Pretend I'm riding you, moving up and down on top of you."

Mulder moved his hand up and down upon his shaft. "Alex..."

"I'm ... I'm moving up... up and down... and... and... and fuck, you're so beautiful when I ride you. You grab my cock and caress me until... until... Oh my God, Fox, I can't... I can't hold on, I love you so much."

Mulder arched back and moaned Alex's name as the fluid spurted out onto his own chest. He lay there for a while, letting the sensations run through his body before he sat up. He watched Alex, also lying back on his bed, his own belly and chest coated with semen. Finally, Alex sat up and smirked at him.

"God, I love you."

"I love you, too, Alex."

"I'm going to clean up. Call me at 508-555-3791. Room 723. I'll be waiting for you to tell me you came." He gave a huge smile before the screen went blank.

Mulder sat there, also smiling. He reached for the remote and rewound the tape until he saw Alex come. The bliss that showed on his face was incredible, and watching Alex come was breathtaking. His eyes were shut, the heavy fringe of his eyelashes resting against his flushed cheeks. His lips were parted, showing his perfect, white teeth. His tongue snuck out to moisten his lower lip before a loud moan and "Fox" left his mouth.

He listened to Alex repeat the phone number then dialed.

"Hello?" the husky voice answered.

"I just came."

"What a coincidence, so did I."

Mulder gave a short laugh. "Whatever possessed you to do this? This is..."

"Nuts?"

"Kind of."

"I wanted to do something different with you."

"This was certainly different. I loved it."

"I knew you would."

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I haven't been in a hotel in ages, and it's lonely. You should've come down with me."

"Somehow I don't think that would help you keep your mind on your job."

Alex laughed, "Maybe you're right. I'll be home tomorrow evening."

"Now that I have this tape, you can stay away as long as you like."

"That was a low blow."

Mulder laughed, "Just kidding. I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep; it's late."

"I will. You too. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Mulder pressed End on the phone and laid it on the bed. He cleaned himself up and got under the covers in the immense bed, smiling to himself, despite being alone, until he fell asleep.

The next day Fox wanted to do something special for Alex's homecoming, and since Sarah didn't do any of the cooking, he decided to make a second attempt at preparing Alex's favorite dinner. Remembering his difficulties last time, he bought twice the quantities he needed of everything and started early in the morning. He figured once he got everything ready, he could just put it all in the fridge till it was time to cook it. Unfortunately things didn't work out quite as he'd planned. Twice the ingredients meant twice the mess and still no edible food to show for it. He thought his crowning moment had been when he'd dropped the chicken into the garbage disposal... while it was on, of course. He had broken eggs on the floor, grated cheese everywhere, burnt potatoes permanently fused to a ruined pot, a mangled chunk of chicken trailing across the sink from the drain, broken dishes, and blisters on his hands from when he'd yanked the blazing potatoes - what the hell had happened to the water anyway? - off the stove in a fortunately successful bid to keep Alex's home from going up in flames.

He sank down on a chair in the midst of the disaster area and buried his face in his hands.

"What the hell?!" Alex's shocked voice came from the kitchen doorway. "Jesus, Fox, I told you I'd do the cooking." Alex was actually trying not to laugh at the extent of the destruction, amazed by Mulder's unparalleled ability to wreak havoc, but Mulder only heard the accusation.

He raised a woebegone face that rapidly clouded over with anger at what he perceived as a slur. "That's right, we all know I'm completely useless. Can't earn a living, can't cook, not even needed to clean the fucking place. Fucking," he snorted. "That's funny. That's all I am to you, aren't I? A fuck toy that you can pull out when you want to get your rocks off and shut away in this gilded cage when you don't need me." He stormed out of the room, leaving a speechless Alex gaping after him.

After an instant, Alex's mouth snapped shut and he headed after his errant lover, determined not to let silly things like this fester again. They'd both had enough of that. He flung open the bedroom door, then stopped in surprise. Fox, rather than packing his belongings or god knows what else, was sitting miserably on the side of the bed, watching the doorway and now him.

"I'm sorry," Mulder sighed. "I know none of that's true, but I just feel so useless. You've got your life back, and you sure as hell don't need me in it."

Alex sighed in turn and sat down beside him, taking his hand. "Fox, look at me." He waited until he did. "I _do_ need you. You're the only thing I really do need. I love you, you idiot. How many times do I have to keep telling you that?"

Fox smiled ruefully. "Until it sinks through my thick skull, apparently. I don't know why you put up with me." He held up a hand in self-defense at Alex's glare. "Okay, okay, I'll be good."

Alex smiled. "In that case, baby, would you do me a favor?" He waited for Fox's nod before continuing. "Would you please not try to cook anymore? I don't have that many dishes." He ducked the pillow Mulder aimed at him, both of them rolling around on the bed, laughing and wrestling like a pair of teenagers. Finally, Alex pinned Mulder down and claimed a kiss as forfeit. "Okay, come on, let's go order a pizza. I'm starved."

"Better get a large then. Don't forget we become Sam's indentured servants tomorrow. We're her unpaid labor till the wedding's over."

Alex whimpered. "I knew there were advantages to being an only child."

Fox snickered. "Love me, love my sister.... Be owned by my sister."

And before noon the next day, Alex felt owned. He reminded Samantha that the slaves had been emancipated well over a century ago, and for his trouble, he was handed another half dozen packages to carry. Fox shook his head at him, not stupid enough to open his mouth around a woman trying to plan a wedding. He couldn't figure it out. The church was booked; so was the minister. They had a hall and a caterer. So what was the problem? Alex wondered the same thing and was actually crazed enough to ask. Half an hour and a list of things delivered all in a single breath, including a treatise on the relative merits of beef, chicken and pasta, later, he was sorry he'd asked. He seriously thought that this was a waste of time since Sam was clearly going to spend her wedding day in the nearest psychiatric facility. He'd learned his lesson, however, and kept that observation to himself.

Just to make their day complete, they ran into Emily at the boutique when Sam went to check on the progress of the alterations on her dress and Dana's. Dana was going to be her only attendant, and she'd chosen a beautiful gold gown for the wedding. Sam was positive that everyone was going to be looking at Dana rather than her, but she was having fun convincing her no-nonsense partner to relax and enjoy life a little. She glanced back at Alex and Fox, who were trying not to look as desperately uncomfortable as they felt inside the exclusive boutique.

Fox met his sister's eyes and made a face at her, reminiscent of when they were children. Sam giggled and turned her attention back to her dress, thinking that Alex had been incredibly good for her brother. He actually smiled most of the time now; his speech had lost the peppering of prison jargon that had crept into it the last few years, and best of all, he was truly happy. She looked over her shoulder again and frowned when she discovered that the men had vanished. Her packages were neatly piled out of the way, but there was no sign of Fox or Alex. She scanned the store and the tiny portion of the street visible through the front window, baffled until she noticed that the door to a fitting room that had been empty only moments ago was now shut. Her eyes widened. They wouldn't!

Before Sam could decide what to do, the door at the front opened and Emily Krycek walked in. She stopped in her tracks when she spotted Samantha, her eyes sweeping the young woman disdainfully. Unlike Emily, who was wearing a Chanel suit, Sam was dressed comfortably in jeans and a lightweight sweater. Sam eyed the older woman, wondering how much additional time it took her to try on clothes when she had to take all that off first and then put it all back together again.

"Mrs. Krycek," she greeted coolly when it became obvious that Emily had no intention of making the first move.

"Dr. Mulder," Emily responded glacially. She favored the young woman with an indifferent nod before turning to the saleswoman who had come up beside her.

"You know Mrs. Krycek?" the woman assisting Sam asked, surprised. A more unlikely combination than these two she couldn't imagine.

Sam shrugged. "We've met through her son."

"Oh, _Alex_ ," Jennifer, the saleswoman, sighed rapturously. "Isn't he just the most spectacular thing you've ever seen? I heard he got into some trouble a while back, but he's supposed to be back in Boston now. Maybe I'll take another shot at him."

Sam choked down a laugh. Clearly, Jennifer hadn't noticed Alex and Fox before they disappeared. When she could speak again, she advised, "I'd forget about him if I were you. He's taken."

Jennifer looked disappointed. "No. Damn, I hadn't heard that. So who's the lucky girl?"

Sam couldn't resist. "My brother."

She couldn't restrain the peals of laughter when she saw the look on the other woman's face, nearly doubling over with mirth.

"You _are_ kidding, right?" Jennifer asked dubiously.

"Nope, sorry." Sam shook her head. "In fact you'll see for yourself later. They were with me when I got here, and I imagine they'll reappear eventually. They'd better if they know what's good for them," she muttered ominously.

Emily Krycek's attention had been drawn by Sam's merriment, and she looked down her nose at the, in her opinion, unseemly public display. "The class of clientele is definitely declining," she sniffed, not noticing the look of disgust she got from the saleswoman behind her.

Emily approached Sam, reminding the young woman of a reptile slithering toward its prey. "I would appreciate it if you would restrain yourself from braying in public. I do believe you've caused me to develop a migraine."

Sam just laughed. "Lady, in my medical opinion, you need a good dose of laxative."

Emily turned purple with rage. "How dare you, you ill-bred little trollop?"

Sam raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm not the one namecalling here, Mrs. Krycek. "

Emily's mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out. If looks could kill, Sam would have been nothing more than a memory.

While Fox had been making faces at his sister, Alex had been watching him. The younger man smiled at their antics, feeling the warmth of being part of a family wash over him. He loved Fox so much, and he sometimes still had trouble believing that Fox loved him too. Then there was Sam; she'd accepted him so readily, treating him like another brother from the moment they'd met. Alex was sure Sam was instrumental in him getting a job with her fiance's company.

Alex stepped closer to Fox, fitting himself to his back, and wrapped his arms around his lover's middle. He rested his chin on Fox's shoulder, nuzzling into the side of his neck, and whispered, "I love you."

Mulder placed his arms over the ones wrapped around him, hugging them to him. He smiled, completely content. "I love you, too," he replied softly. He grinned when Alex pressed closer at his words. "What are you planning to do with that?" he chuckled.

Alex pulled him toward the fitting rooms. "Come with me, and I'll show you."

Mulder's eyes widened, exactly as his sister's would moments later. "You have to be kidding!" he hissed.

Alex shook his head emphatically, tugging on Mulder's hand. With a feeling of impending doom, not unmixed with amusement and arousal, Fox followed Alex into the empty fitting room. He watched as Alex shut and locked the door, then leaned against the wall and eyed Mulder.

"What?" Fox asked after more than a minute of being silently stared at.

Alex smiled a little sheepishly. "I just like to look at you."

"You could have done that out in the store," Mulder pointed out.

"I like to taste you too."

Mulder swallowed hard before he could reply. "Okay, so maybe a little more privacy is preferable for that."

Alex moved toward him and dropped to his knees in front of him, looking up with a tiny smile. Fox raised one hand, cupping one side of Alex's face and caressing it when Alex leaned into the touch. He let his hand drop when Alex slowly unfastened his jeans and pulled them down to his thighs. Alex leaned in close, just absorbing his lover's scent, inhaling deeply.

After a moment, he pressed his closed lips to the slowly waking organ, letting his warm, moist breath waft over the silk-covered flesh. He rubbed his mouth and chin along the length several times before parting his lips to place gentle nips on the hardening muscle. Fox moaned, and he stopped to press a finger to his lips.

"Shh, baby. You have to be quiet or they'll hear us. And your sister would kill us."

Fox bit down hard on his lower lip but nodded his understanding. He stared down through heavy-lidded eyes, watching Alex tease him.

Alex nuzzled Fox, feeling him quiver, and he slowly, very, very slowly, gripped the waistband of Fox's boxers in his teeth and pulled them down. Fox gripped the small, built-in shelf behind him to prevent himself from collapsing to the floor. He could feel the heat of Alex's body against his legs, his teeth scraping lightly over his groin, and he could see Alex's hands, one clutching at his leg and the other slowly stroking his own cock through the soft denim. Fox found himself absurdly jealous of Alex's body; he wanted those hands on _him_. He had to laugh at the sheer lunacy of that thought, and Alex looked up at him curiously. That was not Fox's usual reaction to being teased. Fox just shook his head, not wanting to distract Alex from what he was doing. He thrust his hips toward Alex, nudging his chin with his cock.

"Touch me," he begged, his gaze moving from the gorgeous green eyes staring up at him back to the hand moving in Alex's lap.

Alex laughed softly, his breath gusting over Mulder's hypersensitive flesh, and Fox crammed a fist into his mouth to muffle his whimpers. He knew Alex was doing this to him on purpose, trying to make him lose control, and he only vaguely remembered his sister and why it was a bad idea.

But Alex had had enough of teasing. As much as he enjoyed driving Fox crazy, he was making himself crazy too. He wanted to taste Fox _now_. His tongue stole out and lightly lapped at the head, tasting the unique flavor of his lover. He licked again, and again, and again, his tongue flicking over the sensitive head constantly, lapping up the beads of fluid seeping from the tiny slit. His hands slid up Fox's legs to grip his buttocks, cup them and pull him closer. A muffled groan issued from behind Fox's fist when Alex took him into his mouth and sucked hard.

Alex slowly pulled back until he held the tip just barely inside his mouth and nibbled gently, letting Fox feel the bite of his teeth.

Mulder whimpered and tried to thrust deeper inside, but Alex had shifted his grip to his hips and held him back. Fox had no choice but to hang on and let Alex do this at his own pace. He reached down and placed a shaking hand on his lover's head, weaving his fingers into the silky, dark hair, holding him close, but not attempting to direct him. Alex's thumbs rubbed sensually over the soft skin beneath his pelvic bones, and he slowly worked Mulder's erection down his throat, swallowing him whole.

Fox could only moan his name in tiny gasps, his breath hitching as he quivered under Alex's ministrations. His fingers clenched and unclenched in Alex's hair, and his eyes drooped shut, blocking the overwhelming sight of the beautiful man at his feet. But that just made the sensations racing through his body more intense. He swore he could feel each tiny bump on Alex's tongue glide over him, every ridge on Alex's teeth when he carefully pressed them against Mulder, each whorl on the pads of the fingers rubbing his skin. A shrill whine forced its way between his gritted teeth, and his entire body stiffened as he came endlessly, Alex swallowing every drop. When he was done, Alex pulled away with a final soft, cleansing lick and flowed to his feet, rubbing against the full length of Fox's body.

He claimed Fox's mouth in a long, deep kiss, letting him taste himself in Alex's mouth. He could feel Mulder still shuddering against him, post-orgasmic shocks still running through his body.

"I want you, baby," Alex whispered hotly. "Will you let me take you here?"

Fox gasped, renewed shivers racing through him. "Anywhere, anytime, Alex." He got another kiss for that, and he curled into Alex's embrace, seemingly trying to crawl inside his skin.

"Turn around and brace yourself against the wall, Fox." Alex bit his lip to hold back a moan when Fox did as he asked and spread his legs, opening himself to Alex. He lovingly traced the clean line of Fox's back with his eyes, then turned his attention to the perfect globes of his ass, and he couldn't resist leaning down to suckle on the tender skin, leaving his mark of ownership. He teasingly licked between the cheeks once before straightening up and unfastening his own jeans. He reached into the pocket of the leather jacket he'd had for years, grateful that his father had sent the boxes of his personal possessions, including clothes, that had been packed up from his Quantico living quarters. He pulled out a tube of lube and quickly slicked himself, gritting his teeth at even that light touch.

At the first touch of his coated finger to Fox's ass, the older man pushed back, wanting more. Alex chuckled roughly.

"God, you're such a slut."

Fox grinned over his shoulder. "And you love it."

"And I love it," Alex agreed. He stretched Fox as quickly as possible, though still taking a moment to enjoy the sight of his lover riding his fingers, begging for more. When he thought Fox was ready, some time after Fox's curses and pleas announced that _he_ thought he was ready, he positioned himself and slid inside Mulder. Both men groaned at the incredible sensations, heat, tightness, fullness, friction, ecstasy, love.

Alex forced himself to move slowly, prolonging the moment, but soon it was too much for him. He could feel the tidal wave of pleasure rising up his spine, and he bit down hard on Mulder's shoulder to muffle his scream of completion. Though Mulder didn't come again, he felt pleasure in his partner's joy, and he supported Alex until his rubbery legs returned to normal.

As Alex straightened up, carefully pulling out of Fox, his eyes fell on the bloody bitemark on Fox's shoulder. "Fuck! God, I'm sorry, Fox. Are you okay?"

Fox shrugged, then winced when that pulled the injured area. "It's okay, Alex. I like it when you mark me."

"A hickey, even a fucking huge one, is one thing, Fox. Permanent scarring is quite another."

Mulder pulled him into a kiss. When he released Alex, he repeated emphatically, "I _like_ it." He glared at Alex every time he opened his mouth, until the younger man sighed and nodded. "Good boy," Mulder praised. "Am I still bleeding?"

Alex bit his lip again. "Yeah."

Fox looked at him hesitantly. "Would you..." He trailed off, unable to finish.

"What, Fox?" Alex asked, wanting to do anything Fox wanted.

"Would you lick it clean?" Fox said in a rush.

Alex just stared at him blankly for a moment, then, "You want me to lick your blood?"

Fox blushed. "Forget I said anything. It was a stupid idea."

Alex turned him around again without another word and fastened his mouth onto the injury. He licked the sticky trails of blood away, then sucked gently on the wound, drawing more blood out to cleanse the bite. Then he licked it away again and turned Fox back to face him, kissing him, letting him taste his blood in Alex's mouth.

"Sweet," he murmured.

Fox raised an eyebrow curiously.

"You taste sweet."

Fox smiled. "Thanks, babe, but if we don't get back out there, Sam is going to come looking for us. That'll either be embarrassing, if we're still dressed - or undressed - like this, or our last moments on earth."

Alex realized that Fox had a point, and he cleaned himself up a bit with an old tissue he found in one of his pockets. They rearranged their clothing and, after checking that the coast was clear, exited the fitting room.

Both men stopped in their tracks and considered running for their lives when they found themselves face to face with an enraged Emily Krycek and a coolly amused Sam. The two women were facing off like opposing quarterbacks, nose to nose and out for blood. The men's sudden reappearance distracted the women, and they focused on their somewhat rumpled relatives.

Sam grinned and shook her head; it was clear what they had been doing. Emily, in contrast, looked at them silently, a supercilious expression on her face. Alex reluctantly leaned toward her to kiss the air beside her cheek, and she froze, her mouth open. She breathed deeply and flinched. She could _smell_ them!

Emily stared at the two men in revulsion. When they'd appeared and she'd seen how disheveled they were, she'd assumed that they'd been somewhere out of sight necking, or whatever young people called it nowadays. But this! She'd never expected this. They reeked of sex. She was appalled; she would never be able to shop at this store again.

The men stared back silently, knowing they were caught, but trying to brazen it out.

The saleswoman, Jennifer, watched them wistfully. She'd still been hoping that Samantha had been pulling her leg earlier, but seeing the two men together, it was clear that they were together. They both had kiss-swollen lips, beard-reddened cheeks, and a completely satiated air about them. She only wished that she could have seen what had obviously been going on recently. If she couldn't have Alex Krycek herself, seeing him with this hot guy would have been a nice consolation prize. She licked her lips, wondering...

"Forget it, hon," Sam advised in a whisper while Emily was distracted by Alex and Fox. "They don't share, and they don't give shows."

Jennifer blushed. She hadn't realized that she'd been so obvious.

"Alexander!" Emily was uttering in scandalized accents.

"It's Alex, Mother," he sighed heavily.

"Alexander," she repeated firmly. "Kindly explain this... this... public spectacle."

Fox made a sound suspiciously like a growl. "Actually, we did _not_ provide a public spectacle, but I'm sure we could manage one if you insist."

She was momentarily taken aback, then she sniffed. "Not only do you choose this alternative lifestyle, Alexander," everyone could hear her disdain, "I also have serious reservations about your taste."

The light of battle flared in Alex's eyes when his mother insulted Fox, but Sam got there first.

"What opinion could you possibly have on taste when you clearly have none?"

By this point the entire sales staff had vanished, finding things to do elsewhere, outside the line of fire.

"How _dare_ you, you jumped up little piece of gutter trash! Just because you managed to blind a Prestwick somehow," here she paused to rake her eyes along Sam's body scornfully, "does not make you my equal. You are nothing but a tramp, and I will enjoy the day the Prestwicks realize that. In the meantime, kindly keep out of matters that do not concern you."

She turned her shoulder to Sam, but the younger woman was only just beginning.

"Don't concern me?" Samantha repeated in disbelief. "You're insulting me and both of my brothers. Nothing could possibly concern me more!"

Even in the midst of what was shaping up to be a worse explosion than Hiroshima, Alex felt warmed by Sam calling him her brother.

"And _I_ will thank _you_ to stay the hell away from my family!"

" _Your_ family? Your family, madam, has been responsible for corrupting my son. I consider your brother's actions to be criminal, taking advantage of my Alexander when he was confused and vulnerable, outside of familiar surroundings. He led him astray."

This time everyone was left speechless. Finally Alex's vocal cords unfroze. "Jesus Christ, Mother, I was in prison, not some sheltered flower in a convent!"

"Alexander! There's no need to air our dirty linen in public."

"God, I didn't think real people actually talked that way," Sam muttered. She was momentarily distracted by Fox's hunted glance toward the exit, and she kicked him in the shin. "Don't even think about it," she hissed. With a last longing look at the door, Fox turned his attention back to the two Kryceks, who seemed about to come to blows.

"Goddamnit, Mother, why can't you accept that I'm a grown man and I have the right to live my own life?" Alex yelled in her face, red-faced with rage.

"Because a truly adult man would not be associating with this riffraff or... _playing_... with someone like this man. A _man_ would be finding an appropriate young woman to settle down with and have children!"

"I _beg_ your pardon?" Sam couldn't let that pass. Even some of the sales staff reappeared momentarily to gawk at Emily in disbelief. "Are you actually implying that Alex is immature because he loves Fox?"

"Hardly," Emily sniffed. "Love has nothing to do with this perversion."

All three stared at her with identical expressions of disgust. Hearing this, Fox and Sam could only wonder how Alex hadn't turned out to be a raging homophobe. They had no idea that Alex was mentally thanking Fox for saving him from just that and once again apologizing to Jamie Ryder.

"Leave, Mother. Now." Alex spoke coldly, looking at her as he would any pushy stranger who'd overstepped her bounds.

Emily drew herself up to her full height, preparing to blast all of them. What she didn't realize was that the store owner had arrived in time to hear the last several comments.

"Get out of my store." The coldly furious voice made even Emily Krycek pause. Seeing the look of angry contempt being turned her way, Emily sniffed and walked out, swearing never to set foot in that establishment again.

"Good," the owner snapped. Turning toward her staff, the woman added, "That woman is never to be served in my store again." Seeing the immediate nods, she nodded in satisfaction and headed into her office.

Not in the mood to do any more shopping after that delightful encounter, Sam called it a day and headed home after Fox and Alex loaded her packages into her car.

After they dropped Sam off at home, Mulder and Alex got some "real" Chinese food, according to Alex, and took it home. Mulder began setting the kitchen table, but Alex stopped him.

"Let's eat while watching TV. I don't want to have to think about what happened this afternoon."

Mulder agreed. Both men filled their plates and went into the living room, Alex plunking down on the couch and setting his plate on a placemat on the mahogany coffee table. Mulder stopped in the doorway.

"Are you sure you want to eat in here?" Mulder worried, as he regarded the pristine beige furniture and carpet, mixed with the expensive wooden accessories.

Alex looked up at him. "Fox, we live here. If we make a mess, we'll just clean it up." He understood Mulder's uncomfortable feelings about the furniture. He smiled warmly at him, remembering how just months ago, he'd said the same thing to Mulder about _his_ house.

Mulder carefully sat down beside him and stiffly started to eat dinner. Suddenly, a dumpling fell from Alex's chopsticks and landed on the carpet.

"Aw shit, look at that," Alex said. He bent down and retrieved the dumpling from the floor with his napkin and dabbed at the sauce. He looked up at Mulder, who had a shocked look on his face. "I guess we're going to hell, now."

Mulder started to laugh, and so did Alex. Alex knew that it would take a bit more time for Mulder to feel completely comfortable with his surroundings. Eventually, he'd think of this as _their_ home.

Both men ate their dinner and watched the television, Alex settling on the Bruins game for a little while. They were engrossed in their food and the game until an ad for the shop they had been in that afternoon came on. Suddenly Alex wasn't hungry anymore. He put his chopsticks on his plate and sat back with a sigh.

"What's the matter?" Mulder asked.

Alex just shook his head.

Mulder put his plate on the coffee table and turned to face Alex. "Hey, what's wrong? Two minutes ago, you were taunting the Wings' lousy defense, and now you're all sad."

"I'm thinking about this afternoon."

"Oh." Mulder reached out and stroked Alex's knee before giving a squeeze.

"I should call Sam and apologize again for my mother."

"It's not your fault. Plus, Sam held her own. And we weren't there for the beginning; we don't know how it started."

"If I know my mother, she started the entire thing." Alex looked down at the floor then back at Mulder. "I want this to stop. I want her to realize that I'm happy with you, and she's not going to change that, no matter what she thinks; I'm not her obedient little boy anymore. And I want her to start treating you and Sam better. She's such a goddamn snob." Alex closed his eyes and sighed again.

Mulder nodded and squeezed Alex's knee again. "I feel sorry for her."

Alex's eyes snapped open and glared at his lover. "You feel sorry for her? Fox, she's a mean person. She has no sympathy or compassion for anyone or anything. She's a rich, snobby bitch."

"She strikes me as a very lonely person. Your parents don't exactly look like they're in love with each other. If you don't mind me saying so, she probably married your father, because her parents told her he'd make a fine husband. She's probably always done things to please other people, because it was the right thing to do. She married, had a child, put all of her dreams, whatever they were, on hold, not because she wanted to, but because she was obligated to do the proper thing. She kept those long-standing attitudes and prejudices that she had grown up with, tried to instill them in you, and expected you to do the same thing.

"Now you've grown and become your own person, and your actions come from the heart, whether that's proper in your mother's eyes or not. And you know what? I think she's jealous. You're doing exactly what she can't."

"That doesn't justify her attitude, or her actions," Alex interjected.

"No, not at all. I'm merely trying to understand why she is the way she is."

Alex shrugged. "When I was growing up, I didn't really see much of my parents. They shipped me off to boarding school every year. My grandparents were very loving to me, but now that I think of it, they weren't very warm to my mother."

"Maybe something happened between them?"

Alex sighed and put his head on Mulder's shoulder. "Maybe. All I know is that she's been miserable since the day I was born." He put his arms around Mulder and held him tight. "I'm just glad we're happy."

Mulder kissed him on the forehead, "Me, too."

Alex and Mulder awoke on Christmas morning to the annoying noise of the alarm clock. An arm shot out and swiftly turned it off. Groans were heard as both men started to wake.

"Tell me again why we're up so early," Mulder mumbled.

"The Prestwicks' brunch."

Mulder groaned again, "Don't wanna go."

"We have to." Alex rolled over and into Mulder's embrace. Mulder sighed and kissed the top of Alex's head.

They lay like that for a few minutes, before Alex sat up. He looked down at his lover's sleepy expression, wanting to just go back to bed and hold him in his arms. He caressed his face and kissed him. "Why don't you have a shower, and I'll put some coffee on."

Alex got up and put on his robe while he watched Mulder whimper with every step to the bathroom and shut the door. Quickly, he got three large bags of packages out of his closet and headed downstairs.

Ten minutes later, Mulder entered the living room clad in his robe, hair damp and wild from the rub of the towel. He stopped in his tracks as he saw the many brightly wrapped presents under the tree. When he had gone to bed last night, there had been only two, one for Alex and one for him.

Alex came into the living room with two mugs of steaming coffee. He gave one to Mulder and kissed him. "Merry Christmas."

"Alex, what did you do?"

"Made coffee."

"Where did all these presents come from?"

"Santa."

Mulder sighed, "Alex, I told you not to go overboard with presents. I hardly got you anything."

"I told you, it wasn't me, it was Santa." Alex smirked at his lover, who rolled his eyes but grinned just the same. "C'mon, sit on the couch, and I'll get you your presents."

Mulder sat on the couch and watched Alex rummage through the many presents. He looked like a little kid. His face was flushed, and he was smiling. Mulder took a sip of his coffee; the expensive things he kept getting from Alex genuinely upset him. Although Mulder liked the things he was given, he was also very independent, and didn't want to be given everything. He knew Alex enjoyed it, however, so he decided to let it pass. He wasn't going to ruin their first Christmas together by arguing with him. He also remembered something Alex had told him a while back about how ashamed he'd felt the previous Christmas because he'd been in jail and hadn't been able to get him anything. It was worth a little discomfort to make Alex feel good about himself again.

Alex made them open their stockings first, which included matching leather cock rings. Mulder wondered aloud when Santa started getting kinky, but Alex just laughed and promised to test them out later. Then present after present was opened. Mulder was given a very nice leather knapsack, a laptop computer, and some new clothes. Alex got a palmtop, some clothes, and a watch.

Soon, the floor was littered with debris of paper, ribbons, bows and cardboard boxes, the two men sitting amidst it all.

"Alex, this is way too much."

"You need all this for school."

Mulder nearly rolled his eyes but caught himself. "Do you like the watch?"

Alex looked at the chrome band encircling his wrist. "It's exactly what I wanted, thank you."

"It's only a Timex. It's not a Gucci or anything."

"It's from you. That's all that matters."

"Now you tell me. I knew I should have bought that ten dollar Hot Wheels watch."

Both men laughed.

"Look at the back," Mulder said, softly.

Alex took the watch off and looked at the back of the chrome case. He stared at it for a few seconds, before his mouth opened and closed.

"Alex?" Mulder fidgeted with end of the tie on his robe. "Don't you like it?"

Alex looked up at him, his eyes moist. "'Till the end of time.' It's beautiful." He reached across, cupped Mulder's chin in his hand, and kissed him gently.

Mulder could feel the love radiating from Alex. When he had picked out the watch, they offered to engrave it for free. Mulder decided at the last minute on the inscription, worried that Alex might think it was corny, but decided to get it done anyway.

"God, I love you." Alex kissed Mulder harder, lingering, exploring his mouth with his tongue. He pulled away finally but was brought back down for another long kiss.

"I love you too, babe."

Alex kissed his ear. "We should get moving. Your sister'll have a fit if we're late."

Mulder moaned and stood up. He helped Alex to his feet. "Sometimes I wish I was an only child."

Alex kissed him again before they started up the stairs to get ready.

A few hours later, Alex and Fox returned home, bellies full of food, and arms laden with presents from Sam and Jason's family. They put the presents down among the paper and other presents still littering the living room and headed upstairs to the bedroom.

"My ears are still ringing from all those screaming kids," Alex moaned as he took off his suit jacket and draped it over a chair.

"Kids are supposed to scream at Christmas, especially when Santa shows up." Mulder took off his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"It was just unexpected. I didn't realize the entire Prestwick clan would be there. I was usually the only child at our family gatherings and had to be quiet." Alex undid his trousers and pulled them off.

"Sam and I used to drive our parents crazy after the first five hours or so." He grinned at Alex then removed the remainder of his clothing. "There are a _lot_ of Prestwicks, aren't there?" Mulder came over to Alex, who was now naked, and hugged him from behind.

"Tons of them. I'm surprised they can keep track of them all." Alex leaned back into Mulder's embrace. "Now I know how much you love kids. You were playing with them most of the morning."

"I like other people's kids. You can have all the good times and give them back when they start getting cranky." He nuzzled the back of Alex's neck and let out a barely audible sigh.

Alex turned around to face Mulder. "You want kids. I can tell."

"Naw."

Alex looked at the wistful expression on Mulder's face and knew that was a lie. "I know you do, babe. I could see it on your face today. You'd make a great dad. Hell, you _were_ a great dad to Sam. And it's so clear when you talk about her how proud you are of her. I don't want you to miss out on that with your kids."

"What about you?"

"I've never really given it much thought." Both men got into bed, Alex snuggling his head into Mulder's shoulder. "Fox, we can adopt. Gay couples do it all the time."

"I'm fine, really. I just miss Brian's kids. Plus, I'm starting school, and you've got..." Alex shushed him and kissed his shoulder. "Think about it. We have a lot of time."

Mulder hesitated for a few seconds. "Okay. I'll think about it if you will." He yawned. "Right now, the only thing I'm thinking of is sleep."

Alex started to nod his head but was already starting to drift off.

They slept most of the afternoon, dusk falling as they woke. Alex stirred first, stretching, and put his head on Mulder's chest. Mulder held Alex tight, lying like that for a few minutes.

"What time is it?" Alex asked.

"5:00"

"Hmmmm."

"You hungry?"

"I'm still full from brunch."

"Me, too."

Alex kissed Mulder's chest. "I guess we should get up."

"Why?"

"We can't spend Christmas in bed."

"But that's what I asked Santa Claus for." Mulder brought Alex's face up for a kiss then looked into his eyes. "Now I have all that I want."

He rolled over so Alex was underneath him, giving him better access. His hands explored the smooth skin of Alex's body, while his mouth licked and sucked at the side of his neck. He didn't mark him there but moved lower to his collarbone, where he left a purple bruise that would be seen for a week.

Mulder's mouth traveled down to his lover's left nipple, where he sucked on it, then bit it gently with his teeth. Alex was moaning while he caressed Mulder's back, dragging his nails across his ass. Mulder moved lower, dipping his tongue into Alex's bellybutton, while his hands still teased his nipples.

He could hear his lover pant as his mouth moved down, nipping at his belly. His hand moved down to cup Alex's balls between his spread legs. Moving his fingers lightly over the fragile skin, he teased his lover until he was whimpering and writhing on the bed. His mouth moved down to Alex's cock, hard and leaking fluid. He engulfed the stiff member, dragging his tongue up the back and sucking on the head.

Mulder felt Alex weave his fingers in his hair, causing him to work faster and take him deeper. He could feel his own hard cock in need of attention but ignored it for the moment, instead focusing on giving his lover pleasure. Mulder brought him to the brink then pulled off, a groan of protest leaving Alex's mouth. He came up to kiss him, letting both of them calm down for a few minutes.

"Get on all fours," Mulder demanded softly with a final kiss. Alex complied, shivering with anticipation, his cock swaying heavily between his legs.

Mulder reached over and grabbed the lube, setting it down where he could reach it easily. He pressed his face between Alex's ass cheeks, licking his balls from behind. Alex took in a sharp breath as the tip of Mulder's tongue flicked over the perineum then up to tease his opening. Mulder could see him shaking as he pulled away, kissing each cheek. He reached for the lube, squirted some gel on to his fingers, and then slowly began preparing his lover, caressing the smooth interior.

Alex bucked back on Mulder's fingers, wanting them deeper inside. Mulder put a hand on his ass and ran it up and down his leg. "Wait, baby, I've got something better for you, soon."

"God, Fox... please... I can't take any more."

"Soon."

"Now!"

Mulder laughed. "Just hang on a few more minutes."

"I can't," he whimpered.

"Yes, you can, baby," Mulder whispered as he dug his fingers deeper. "I know you can. You want me inside you when you come. We're going to come together, and it's going to be beautiful."

Alex only moaned as Mulder's fingers dragged across his prostate again and again, bringing him nothing but pleasure.

Finally, Mulder relented to Alex's whispered curses and positioned himself behind him. He slicked up his achingly hard cock and pushed home with one shove, while bringing Alex up towards him. Both men were now kneeling up on the bed, Mulder behind Alex, his cock embedded inside.

Mulder brought his arm around Alex's chest, bringing him back against his body. Alex bent his head back and kissed him sweetly but pulled away and cried out as Mulder started sliding out of him. His head fell back to Mulder's shoulder as he was slowly filled again.

"I've been thinking about this all day. I even dreamed about doing this to you," Mulder whispered. He increased his pace, rocking them back and forth. "I nearly said 'screw brunch' this morning and fucked you silly under the Christmas tree instead."

"You should have," Alex moaned.

Mulder moved his hands down to Alex's hips, moving him up and down on his cock. He nipped and kissed the strong shoulders before him, biting down, but not hard enough to draw blood. "God, baby, I know." Mulder moved faster, rising up on his knees then falling back with every stroke. He was losing his grip on Alex's hips, as he was covered in sweat. Moving his hand around to Alex's cock, he barely touched it when he felt the warm fluid spurt over his hand; a loud moan left his lips as he spent his seed. Mulder grabbed Alex around the waist and pumped fast, sending himself over the edge, coming deep into his ass.

They collapsed forward, Mulder still embedded in Alex, kissing the back of his neck. They dozed on and off into the evening, waking only to make love, until around midnight, when Alex dragged their sticky bodies to the bathroom for a much-needed shower.

"Dammit, that's the fourth time this month! I thought our encryption was top notch?" Jason threw his pencil down on the desk and went over to the window to look at the grey February afternoon.

Alex rubbed his eyes and sat back in his chair. "I guess it's not." He looked up at Jason. They had been over the security system time and time again but couldn't find anything wrong with the firewall or encryption, yet someone was continuing to break into their system and leaving messages that they had been there.

"We _could_ have better encryption, but the damn FCC won't let us use it, because it's _too_ good.

Jason sighed, "Bastards. We should've kept our mouths shut." He flopped back down in his chair and reached for his mug of coffee. "We need something better, though. This can't keep happening; it's fucking ridiculous. It makes us look stupid."

Both men sat for a minute and looked at the reports on the desk, before Jason spoke up. "We need to hire someone who's up on this. Some young kid who does this kind of thing for fun."

Alex nodded. While they both had vast computer knowledge, they were surely lacking in this area. "I'll put an ad on the tech job site, and we'll see what happens."

Jason nodded at him, and Alex packed up and left for his own office.

Three weeks later, Jason and Alex interviewed prospects for the job. One after another, suited young men and women came into the office to be interviewed for the position. By the end of the day, however, they couldn't find someone who was exactly perfect. After some deliberation, they decided to call back three people the next day and see what came of that.

Alex was just about to go home when he heard someone in the lobby. He decided to go out and investigate. He came upon a young man with stringy, blonde hair, jeans and t-shirt.

"Can I help you?" Alex asked.

"I'm here about the job."

Alex raised his eyebrows. "You are? I don't remember having anyone else scheduled for an interview."

"I don't have an appointment."

"You don't? I'm sorry, but these were appointments only."

The blonde took a deep breath. "You'll like what I have to offer. I guarantee you won't...," he stumbled, " ...won't be disappointed." He let out his breath, folded his arms across his chest, and stood his ground.

"I won't?"

"I've got the solution to your problem."

Alex studied the young man with the thick glasses, Ramones t-shirt and ripped jeans. "Hang on a sec."

Alex left the lobby and went to the conference room where they had held the interviews. Jason was just packing to leave.

"Jason, you've gotta see this guy. He's here for an interview without an appointment and dressed like a bum."

"So why should we see him?" He continued packing up his papers.

"He's got balls, I'll say that much. There's something about him that tells me we should give him a chance."

Jason looked at his watch, "What the hell, I've got ten minutes. But no longer than that, or Sam'll have my hide."

Alex grinned at him and went back to the lobby where he beckoned the young man to follow him to the conference room.

"Jason Prestwick, this is..."

"Langly."

"Mr. Langly."

"Just Langly."

"Just Langly?"

"Yeah."

Alex sat down beside Jason facing the young man. "Okay."

"So... Langly. You're here about the job," Jason started. "Let's see your resume."

"Don't have one."

Jason looked at Alex and smirked. "You don't have a resume? We've got candidates from Harvard, Yale, MIT and UCLA vying for this position. Why should we even consider you?"

The young man twitched slightly under their gaze, and Alex could see sweat form on his brow as he tried to keep his calm facade. He dug into a back pocket of his jeans and brought out a few crumpled, folded pieces of paper. He slid them across the conference room table. Alex took a look at them and, after a few seconds, looked up at the blonde man, shocked. He held the pieces of paper out to Jason.

"Where did you get these?"

Jason took the papers, and his jaw literally dropped open. "You hacked into our site. You're the one who's been leaving those messages." Jason was getting angry. "And you come here to gloat about it?"

"Wait, no," Langly sputtered. "I didn't do it, but I know who did."

"Did you put him up to this?" Jason asked. "Did you tell this person to hack into our system and mess with it, so you could come here and name your price?"

Langly looked scared. "No. This guy was proud of what he did, and I..." He looked at the floor.

"You what?" Alex asked.

"It's a very complicated kind of thing."

"You what?" Alex stressed.

"I... I told him I bet I could stop him."

"So you're here because of your ego?"

Langly's head snapped up and met Alex's green gaze. "My kung-fu's the best!"

Alex looked at Jason and started laughing. Langly watched them for a minute before he stood to leave.

"Wait, wait," Jason said. "Sit down, and we'll be right back."

Alex and Jason left the conference room and went out into the hallway. "What the hell do we do?" Jason asked.

"Give him the job. At least he'll be on our side."

Jason shook his head, "I can't believe I'm going to hire this guy, but I have no choice; he knows how to breach our system. I've got a friend at the FBI that I'm going to call and get a full background check on him." He looked at his watch. "Shit, I'm going to be late." He looked at Alex. "Can you give him the news? I have to go. Don't ever get married. If I look at one more stupid flower arrangement, I think I'm going to scream."

Alex laughed. "Sure, get going." He turned and went back into the conference room. Langly was still sweating. He stood next to him.

"Well, you're hired." Alex stuck out his hand.

Langly stood tentatively, found his footing, and shook Alex's hand. He looked around before he spoke. "Where's the other guy?"

"You mean Jason, your new boss?"

"Yeah, him."

"He had to go."

"Oh. Oh, good. Frohike says hi."

Alex's breath caught in the back of his throat. "Frohike says hi?"

"Yeah. He's the one who told me to come here. He found out what Kni... the hacker dude did and was pissed off. And well, I owe him, and I need the money. And uh... yeah."

"I see." Alex sat on the table. "How is Frohike?"

"He's good. He's enjoying his new uh... he's good."

"His new what?"

Langly got an agitated look on his face. "I don't know where he is, he hasn't told me where he is, and I tried to find him through his e-mail, but he's covered his tracks."

Alex smiled, "Bastard did it, didn't he?"

Langly nervously licked his lips. "Did what? I don't know anything."

Alex smiled again. "Okay, Langly. Come in tomorrow, and we'll get all the paperwork straightened out. If you're talking to Frohike, tell him I say hi."

The blonde nodded. "My first name... it's... it's Ringo."

Alex shook his hand, "See you tomorrow, Langly."

"Yeah, uh, bye."

Alex watched him leave, sat down in a chair, and laughed for five minutes.

A few weeks passed, and Fox immersed himself in his studies at university. Alex had to go to New Bedford again for a meeting and found himself on an early flight home. He decided not to go into the office and took the rest of the day off. He was making dinner when Mulder came home from class.

"Hello?" Mulder yelled.

"Hello," Alex yelled back and continued chopping tomatoes.

Mulder came into the kitchen and put his bag down, before he came up behind Alex. Alex smiled as he felt Mulder wrap his arms around him. He nuzzled his head back, and Mulder kissed his neck.

"How was class?"

"Interesting as always. How was your trip?"

"Boring as always. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Alex stopped chopping as Mulder pressed into him, his tongue running up his neck to his ear. Alex sighed and leaned back into Mulder's embrace. He could feel Mulder's burgeoning erection dig into his ass.

"What are you cooking?" Mulder asked as he nibbled on Alex's earlobe.

"Mmmm, it's called 'Pasta Alex'."

"Pasta Alex?" Mulder's hands untucked Alex's t-shirt from his jeans and ran up his front to tease his nipples.

Alex moaned softly. "It's linguine tossed with fresh, vine ripened, roma tomatoes, black olives, fresh basil, feta cheese and..." his words were cut off by Mulder popping the button on his jeans and pulling the zipper down. Mulder's hands reached inside his open trousers, stroking Alex's quickly stiffening cock through his underwear.

"And...?" Mulder purred into his ear and reached past him to grab a piece of tomato. Alex could hear him chew and swallow.

"And..." Alex sucked in his breath as Mulder's hand dipped inside his underwear and grabbed his cock. "And drizzled with olive oil."

"Sounds almost as delicious as you." Suddenly, Mulder's hand was gone and his jeans and underwear were taken off. Then he heard Mulder unzip his own jeans and take them off. Alex gripped the side of the counter as Mulder rubbed his hard cock between his ass cheeks. He was kissing his neck and nibbling on his earlobes, making Alex harder with every flick of his tongue.

Mulder reached past Alex and picked up the slim bottle of oil on the counter. "This oil right here?"

"Yeah, that oil."

"Extra virgin," Mulder read aloud. He laughed softly against Alex's ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "Well, I know for a fact you're not a virgin..."

The next thing Alex felt were two greased digits entering his ass. He leaned forward, bracing himself against the counter, sticking his ass out, trying to dig Mulder's fingers deeper.

Mulder slammed the bottle down on the counter. "... but I guess it'll have to do."

After some hasty preparation, Mulder's oiled cock began to enter him. Alex moaned as he felt himself being filled, and pushed back, wanting it all at once.

Mulder leaned forward and pushed all the way in to the hilt, causing Alex to gasp out loud. He still had a death grip on the counter and wasn't letting go any time soon. The water was boiling rapidly on the nearby stove, ready for the pasta. The garlic bread remained unbuttered, the salad untossed. The only thing Alex could think about right now was his lover's cock moving in and out of his ass.

"You like that, baby?" Mulder asked. He leaned forward and nipped the back of his neck.

"You know I do, lover. God, I do. Fuck me, please fuck me hard."

Alex was rewarded with Mulder pulling out most of the way and slamming back into him. He arched his back and stuck his ass out even further, ensuring that his prostate was hit with every shove. Mulder did it again and again, causing Alex to whimper every time. Sweat rolled down Alex's back, soaking his t-shirt. He could also feel the olive oil trickling down the back of his thighs.

Mulder's slick hand came around to stroke his hardness, bringing another loud moan to his lips. He held on as long as he could, until he felt his lover shudder behind him. Only then did he let go, coming with a cry onto the clean linoleum below.

He heard Mulder gasp for air as he bucked a few times to strip the remnants of come into Alex's ass. It was then that Alex realized that he was clenching the counter with such force that his hands were cramping. He released his grip, shaking them to get rid of the stiffness.

Mulder had his head on Alex's back, still catching his breath. Slowly, he disengaged himself from Alex, who reached for the roll of paper towels. They cleaned themselves up then embraced, kissing for a long time. Finally, Mulder left to go upstairs while Alex put his clothes back on, washed his hands, and resumed cooking dinner.

"Alex, I think you drank too much."

" _You_ may have drunk too much. _I'm_ perfectly sober."

"Which is why you keep bumping into me."

"They're love taps."

Mulder started to laugh, "More like body checks."

"If I'm gonna check you, you'll feel it."

Mulder and Alex had joined Sam and Jason at a Bruins' game that evening. Afterwards, they went for drinks at a bar. Sam and Jason left early, leaving the two men to continue talking and drinking until the bar closed ten minutes ago at 2 am. Now they were on their way to find a cab but weren't having any luck flagging one down at this hour.

"Yeah? You think you're tough?"

Alex stopped walking. "You know it, baby."

Suddenly, Mulder slammed Alex against the nearest wall and held him there. "You're not too quick."

Alex tried to trip Mulder but was indeed drunker than his partner, and Mulder continued to hold his ground. Instead he reached down and grabbed Mulder's crotch. "But I have your balls."

Mulder smirked and leaned in close. "What are you intending to do with them?" He kissed Alex's earlobe.

Alex could feel his own body react to merely fondling his partner's balls. He kissed Mulder hard, his lips crushed into his lover's, and felt a tongue enter his mouth. Pulling away, he whispered, "Whatever I like."

"You think so, huh?" Mulder gave out a slight whimper as Alex squeezed the rapidly growing bulge in his pants.

"I know so. I'm going to drag you around the corner and fuck you in that alley."

"You promise?"

Alex answered with another searing kiss, his hands wandering inside Mulder's leather jacket. He was just about to pull Mulder into the alley when he heard a shout from across the street. Alex ignored the noise and continued sucking on his partner's tongue. He heard the shout again, this time it was closer. Alex opened his eyes and looked over Mulder's shoulder. What he saw made his blood run cold.

Suddenly two men were upon them and yelling, "Take yer faggot sissy kissing some..." he stopped shouting as Mulder stepped aside and revealed Alex.

"Alex?" he slurred, his voice thick with alcohol. He hit his friend on the arm. "Don, it's our ol' buddy Alex!"

Alex, suddenly sober, stepped out and in front of Mulder. "Hey, Luke, when did you get out?"

The man glared at him then Mulder then back to him, with exaggerated motions. "Coupla months ago. You?"

"Yeah, same." Alex crossed his arms across his chest. "What are you two doing in Boston? I thought you couldn't leave Virginia?"

They looked at each other, and Don was about to say something, but Luke stopped him. "None of yer fuckin' business!" He took a drunken step forward, hands clenching into fists. Alex knew Luke's temper and also knew that Luke was probably out looking for trouble tonight. He couldn't stand to think of all the times he had done the same thing with these two, sought out trouble for no good reason other than to hurt people. Luke again stepped forward, but Alex stood his ground, protecting Mulder. His heart rate increased in anticipation of what he knew was going to come. Luke was now leering into Alex's face. "What's _your_ story, Krycek? You a _fag_ now?"

Don took a step forward as well, slightly behind and to the side of Luke, submissive bastard that he was. If Luke had told him to jump off a bridge, he'd have done it.

"So are ya?"

"What if I am?"

Alex could feel Mulder behind him, tension radiating from him in waves.

Mulder watched closely, desperately wanting to attack these bastards who were responsible for Jamie's death and, in a way, Mike's as well. He had been able to forgive Alex because Alex truly regretted what he had done, but these two were out looking to do it again only months after getting out of jail. Hell, for all he knew, they'd already done it to other people and just hadn't gotten caught yet. He wanted to beat them bloody, but he knew that Alex needed to face them down, needed to prove to himself that he wasn't like them anymore, so he stayed back, contenting himself with glaring his hatred over Alex's shoulder.

Luke leaned even closer, and Alex could smell the reek of alcohol on his breath. "You hate fags. You hate 'em as much as I do. Remember how we taught that pussy a lesson?"

Alex fought not to roll his eyes and show his disgust. _Goddamn moron._ "Yeah, and we got sent up for that. Haven't you learned anything?"

Luke's eyes narrowed. "I learned I still hate fags."

They stood there for a minute, not talking, until Alex took a step back and started to slowly walk away.

"I never took it up the ass while I was inside, but it looks like you got it pretty regular." Luke called after him.

Alex grabbed Mulder's arm and continued down the street, knowing the mood Luke was in, no amount of conversation was going to get him anywhere. The best thing was to just walk away. Luke, however, wasn't finished with him quite yet. He grabbed Alex's arm and spun him around to face him.

"Hey, faggot, I'm talking to you."

"Fuck off, Luke." Alex tried to get away, but Luke was holding tight. Mulder tensed beside him, prepared to intercede if it looked like this bastard was going to hurt Alex.

"This your boyfriend? He one of your butt-buddies from inside?"

Alex glared at him, "I told you to fuck off! Leave us alone."

Luke spat on the ground. "I haven't even begun."

Suddenly, without warning, Luke swung at Mulder and caught him against the jaw. He stumbled back and into the wall, clutching his face. That was the last straw for Mulder, and he started for Luke, intending to beat him the way he'd beaten Jamie. Before he could take more than a single step, however, Alex got there first.

Alex saw red as he tore into his former friend, punching and hitting him so hard that he dropped to the ground. He continued pummeling the man, until suddenly he was being hauled off him and dragged away. Panic ran through him as he was held with his arms pinned behind him. All of the sudden, he was back inside, and he thought he'd be sent to the hole for fighting.

"Calm down, Alex," Mulder whispered into his ear. "Come on, babe, he's not worth going back to prison for. He's not worth your life, our lives."

Alex found his footing, and things began to come into focus. Luke was lying on the ground, bleeding, and Don was standing back, scared to venture any closer. He caught his breath, then bent down to see if Luke was okay. It turned out he was knocked out but still breathing.

He turned to Don, who looked at him with confused eyes and questions Alex knew he probably wanted to ask but wouldn't. "When Luke wakes up, you get the hell back to Virginia. I'm not violating my parole for him. And neither should you." Don nodded.

Alex turned away with Mulder and, after a few minutes, found a cab to take them home. He waited until they were safely up in their room to break down. Sobs left his mouth as Mulder held him, letting him get it out. After a long while, Alex was calm enough to speak.

"I'm so sorry, Fox." He reached out and caressed the bruise that had formed from Luke's fist.

"It's not your fault."

"I can't believe I used to be like that. I can't believe I used to do the exact thing to people as he did to me tonight."

Mulder kissed his hair. "We all do stupid things when we're young."

"That was beyond stupid."

"It's not as easy as we thought, moving here."

"Do you want to go back home?" Alex asked quickly.

"No. I like it here. No matter where we go, we're going to run into people who are prejudiced against us. But we aren't going to let them get us down.

Alex nodded. He wasn't being realistic if he thought that it would be a smooth ride the entire time. Slowly, both men took off their clothes, crawled into bed and, after a long time of holding on to each other, fell asleep.

The next few months seemed to pass in a blur of wedding plans, Mulder's first full semester at college, work, travel, but finally May rolled around. Fox had taken his last final, everything was set for the wedding the next month, and finally they could relax. Alex invited Langly over for dinner a few times, and as he'd expected, Langly and Mulder hit it off. Alex was left shaking his head in bemusement at some of their weird topics of conversation. He was glad to see Fox making friends though. He never seemed to spend much time with the other people in his classes, and Alex was afraid that was because of him.

He mentioned his worry to Fox once, and the older man laughed at him. "Alex, I'm practically old enough to be their father. I'd much rather spend my time with you, you idiot. But if you insist on feeling guilty, please go ahead and try to make it up to me. I can think of all kinds of ways."

After Alex hit him and they stopped laughing, Alex did his best to make Fox feel better... so much so that they both spent the rest of the day in bed.

Mulder was a free man now for the next couple of weeks until the summer session started, and much to Alex's dismay, he turned his attention to his lover's family.

"It's Mother's Day next week," Mulder announced one morning.

Alex looked up blearily from his coffee cup. Morning wasn't his favorite time of day at the best of times, and he'd just gotten back from a trip last night, so he and Mulder hadn't gotten to sleep till well after three. "So?" he grumbled.

"So you have a mother," Mulder reminded him.

Alex glared. "I keep trying to forget."

Mulder shook his head. "I know she's annoying, Alex, but she's still your mother. We have to have her over for dinner. Or maybe brunch," he mused.

"I am _not_ having my mother here in the morning," Alex stated emphatically, realizing that he wasn't going to win this argument but determined not to give way on that one point at least.

Mulder shrugged. "Dinner it is, then."

Alex groaned and dropped his head onto the table, praying for a sudden bolt of lightning to strike him. He looked up suddenly. "Can we invite Sam and Jason too?" he asked hopefully.

Mulder shook his head. "Sorry, babe. They're taking Jason's parents out to dinner."

Alex sighed miserably. "Can't I just send her flowers?"

Mulder moved around the table to crouch in front of his lover. He looked up into Alex's eyes pleadingly. "Alex, I know she's made your life miserable, but she's the only mother you've got. I would give anything...except you, of course," he smiled briefly, "to have my mother back. Let's make the effort this one time, and I promise you that if it doesn't work out, I'll never ask you to have anything to do with her again."

Alex stared into wistful hazel eyes. "What did I ever do to deserve you? My God, you're bargaining with me to improve _my_ relationship with my mother. I think you're insane, but you win. We'll have my parents over for dinner on Mother's Day... and my mother'll have us for dinner," he finished in a mumble.

Mulder smiled beatifically and kissed him lightly before jumping up and heading for the shower, muttering something about menus and decorations. Alex moaned and wondered if any of them would survive this family get together.

The evening started as Alex expected it to continue when his parents arrived and Mulder offered Emily a lovely bouquet of orchids. She sniffed and announced, "I'm allergic to orchids, Mr. Mulder."

Mulder gritted his teeth, reminded himself that she was Alex's mother, smiled, shoved the flowers into Alex's hands, and reminded her, "It's Fox, Mrs. Krycek."

She smiled coolly and continued into the living room without responding. Alex haphazardly shoved the flowers into a vase already filled with daffodils and followed his mother. Mulder stared after them, reminding himself why he had pushed for this meeting. He was startled when Jonathan placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, not knowing what to expect from this man who never seemed to have anything to say for himself.

Jonathan smiled understandingly, saddened but unsurprised by his reaction. "Don't let her get to you, Fox. It's not really anything personal. She'd be like this with anyone in Alex's life. While nothing that poor boy's ever done has been good enough for her, no one else is good enough for her baby boy." He sighed heavily. "I suppose it's my fault. I should have done something about her years ago, but it was easier just to ignore her and let everyone else, including Alex, fend for themselves."

"That's hardly fair to a young child like Alex was, Mr. Krycek," Fox pointed out, angry on Alex's behalf.

"I know. That's one of my biggest regrets, and I hope he'll give me a chance to try to make it up to him. And _my_ name is Jon," he added.

Mulder smiled and offered his hand. "Good to finally meet you, Jon." They grinned at each other. "Now what say we go rescue Alex?"

In the living room, Alex was standing hunched against the wall, hands in his pockets, while his mother lectured him on his home, his lover, his job, his clothing, his posture, everything she could think of. Fox moved immediately to his side, an arm sliding around his waist protectively.

Emily regarded their affection disdainfully. "I thought I raised you better than this, Alexander. One does not put on public displays-"

Alex cut her off abruptly, finally having had enough. "Raised me? You must be kidding. If you had been locked in a room with a dozen ten-year-olds and told to pick out which was your son, you would have had to ask the servants which was me! I'm sure that if I thought about it, I would be able to count the number of hours you've spent with me in my entire life! How _dare_ you lecture me on what is acceptable? You have no idea how to be a mother!"

Emily drew herself up angrily, and her arm flashed out as she slapped his face. "I am your mother, and you will show me the respect I am due!"

Alex had to grab Fox to prevent him from hitting Emily when she slapped him. He glared over at his mother as he wrapped his arms around his infuriated lover. "You are due nothing from me, Mother. You have never been a mother to me, and you have never made the slightest attempt to accept Fox even though I love him, and he loves me." He stared at her angrily, the bright red hand print on his cheek a silent accusation.

"Oh please!" Emily scoffed. "You can hardly call this perversion love."

Alex gasped, hurt despite his anger to hear his own mother label him a pervert. Fox's arms tightened around him, holding him lovingly. Alex smiled tremulously into Fox's eyes for an instant before turning his attention back to his mother.

"Yes, Mother, I do call it love because it is. Not that I expect you to understand that or even recognize a true emotion. I think when I get over being angry at you I'm going to pity you. You wouldn't know what to do with a genuine emotion if you ever felt one. I'd rather have a single hour with my Fox than a lifetime of your kind of life." He regarded her sadly.

"You would do well to try to emulate my life, Alexander! You are not doing too well on your own. _I_ have never been sent to prison or taken the life of another human being." Emily attacked viciously, going for Alex's vulnerabilities.

Alex flinched, shrinking in on himself, only Fox's arms around him keeping him on his feet. Mulder pulled him completely into his embrace, holding Alex's head to his shoulder, trying to surround him protectively. He raised furious eyes to Emily, and if looks could kill, she would have been dead. He was absolutely livid with rage, and he didn't trust himself to speak yet.

"That's enough, Emily!" Jonathan barked, startling everyone. "How can you call yourself a mother, a human being, and attack your own son like that? I have turned a blind eye and deaf ear to your sniping over the years, but this time you've gone too far. If you cannot behave like a civilized human being, or better yet, a caring mother, be quiet!"

"How dare you," Emily started, puffing up indignantly.

Jonathan glanced over at his son, shaking in his lover's arms, and pushed Emily down into a chair. "Emily, _shut up_." He glared her into silence and walked over to place a hand on Alex's back. "Son?" he said softly.

Alex turned his head slightly where it was buried against Fox's chest, and a desolate face looked out at his father. Jonathan had to shut his eyes against the pain of that expression. He forced himself to meet Alex's eyes. "I'm sorry, Alex, sorry that I didn't say something sooner, sorry that I let this go on so long. I hope you'll give me another chance to be your father, or at least your friend if you can't do that."

Alex smiled tremulously. "I'd like that, Dad." He still nestled close to Fox, who kept his arms protectively tight around him. Both Jonathan and Mulder kept a wary eye on Emily, prepared to intercede if she looked like she was going to go near him or say anything else.

Emily sat glaring at them all, arms folded, posture screaming offended dignity. "You have a truly unique concept of celebrating Mother's Day," she stated coldly.

Alex shuddered at the sound of her voice, and Fox's arms tightened protectively, nearly cutting off his air. "Get out, Mrs. Krycek," he snapped in a tone even colder than hers had been. "Get out of our home and don't come back."

Emily stood up angrily. "Well, I never. Come, Jonathan." She headed for the door, pausing when she realized her husband wasn't following her. She snapped his name, expecting him to come to her call.

"Not this time, Emily," Jonathan said calmly. "You've gone too far this time. I don't know if anything of our marriage can be salvaged or even if I care to make the attempt. I do know that I don't wish to talk to you just now. I shall be staying at a hotel tonight and for the foreseeable future until I can stand to speak to you without wanting to hit you for what you've done to our son.

"Not that I hold myself blameless," he sighed. "I saw what you were doing and did nothing to stop you. I think it'll be a long time before I can look in a mirror and not want to cringe away from what I see there."

"Jonathan!" Emily was shocked by this unprecedented show of independence on her husband's part. "Don't be absurd. Come home immediately."

"You just don't listen, do you, Emily?" Jonathan shook his head. "I don't like myself very much right now, but I like you even less. You're miserable, which again I have to hold myself at least partially to blame for, but you seem to feel the need to make everyone around you miserable as well. I can't ignore that anymore, not when you're trying to destroy Alex's life again, now that he finally has everything going for him."

He turned his back on his wife, refusing to say another word to her. With none of the men looking at her, Emily's shoulders slumped and she momentarily looked small and lost, but she drew herself up proudly and stalked out of the apartment silently.

Fox drew Alex over to the sofa, sinking down with his lover still held protectively in his arms. Jonathan perched warily on the edge of the cushion and placed a tentative hand on his son's shoulder. He breathed a shaky sigh of relief when Alex raised a hand to cover his, gripping it momentarily.

Alex turned in Mulder's embrace, teary green eyes focussing on his father's face. "Did you mean it, Dad? Do you really want to be my friend?"

Jonathan winced and shut his eyes momentarily, closing away his son's disbelief and Mulder's protective distrust. "Yes, Alex, I meant it. If you'll give me a chance? I can never make it to you for allowing your mother to hurt you for so many years, but I'd like a chance to be a better father to you now." He smiled harshly. "Who knows, maybe I'll even find out who _I_ am in the process."

Alex smiled tremulously and held out his arms. Fox watched with satisfaction as father and son shared their first real hug since Alex had been a baby.

For the next couple of weeks, Jonathan spent a great deal of time with his son and his lover, getting to know Alex and Fox. Much to his surprise, he found that he and Alex had a lot in common and he genuinely liked the young man. In addition, he was continually being surprised by the depths of Fox's intelligence, and he was glad that getting to know Alex had given Fox the opportunity to expand his knowledge. It would have been a shame for him to never have known anything except the inside of a prison.

Alex had invited him over one evening when that other young man, Langly, was also present, and father and son had shared their amusement over Mulder and Langly's interaction. The two men got along well and shared an interest in unusual topics but often had wildly differing viewpoints. After an evening of watching Fox and Langly go at it, Jonathan felt almost dizzy and younger than he had in years.

He was extremely grateful that Alex and Fox were allowing him to be a part of their lives, even to the point of including him in some family dinners with Fox's sister and her fiance. Samantha was a delightful young woman, and Jonathan enjoyed her company. Fox kept telling him that his sister wasn't normally such a basket case, that it was pre-wedding jitters, but Jonathan didn't see that she was. Knowing that their parents were dead, Jonathan tentatively asked Fox if he thought Samantha would allow him to have a brunch for her, not wanting her to miss out on any experience before her wedding. Alex had told him that Sam and Jason had postponed their wedding while he was in prison so that he could be present, and it had touched Jonathan. He wanted to do something for her as well.

Fox thought that Samantha would be thrilled if Jon were to do something like that for her, so with Fox and Alex's help, Jonathan invited her closest friends and managed to surprise her with a brunch at his favorite hotel a week before the wedding.

Several of Sam's friends from college and med school were there, along with many of her and Jason's friends, and Dana Scully, of course. Dana didn't really know anyone there, aside from Sam, Jason, Fox and Alex, not even the other two women that Sam had added as bridesmaids, and she spent most of her time observing everyone else the first hour or so.

Jonathan noticed the serene redhead who remained somehow separate from the laughing crowd and wondered about her. He asked Fox, who glanced over and told him who she was.

"Dana's a really nice person," Mulder continued, "but she's very self-contained, which can make her hard to get to know. She and I have become good friends though. She's really dedicated to her work and doesn't leave herself much time for a social life. I hope someone sees past that cool facade soon; she deserves to be happy and to have someone special in her life." He laughed softly. "Way more information than you really needed to know, right? Sorry. I just wish someone would pay attention to her. I guess it's a side effect of being so happy myself. I want everyone else to have someone too."

Jonathan chuckled. "My son was lucky to find you, Fox. And that young woman is fortunate to have you as a friend." He turned his attention back to the lovely young woman, and Fox turned back to Alex and Sam, who were involved in some sort of contest, much to everyone's amusement.

Jonathan picked up two mimosas and approached Dana, offering her one with a smile. She looked startled for a moment but accepted graciously. After taking a sip, she regarded him curiously. "I don't think we've met," she probed delicately.

Jonathan grinned. "I'm sure we haven't. I'm not so old that I would forget someone as lovely as yourself, Dr. Scully." In response to her curiously quirked eyebrow when he called her by name, he added, "I asked Fox who you were. I'm Jonathan Krycek, Alex's father."

Dana looked surprised. "You don't look old enough to be Alex's father." Then she blushed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

Jonathan chuckled delightedly. "My dear, telling an old man that he looks younger than he is is never rude."

She snorted. "You are far from old, Mr. Krycek."

"Jonathan, please," he invited. "Unless you want to make me feel old."

"I see where Alex gets his charm," she replied dryly. Then she eyed him somewhat coolly. "And is your wife here today, Jonathan? I haven't yet had the opportunity to meet her."

"Nor will you, at least not today," he responded. "Alex's mother and I have split up. I've already initiated formal divorce proceedings."

Dana blinked, flustered at her faux pas. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume..."

Jonathan held up a hand, stopping her. "Please, don't apologize. I should have made it clear earlier. You had every right to clarify the marital status of the man who was flirting with you."

She flushed again, not having expected him to be so blunt. "Jonathan," she started, then floundered, unsure what to say.

Jonathan sighed. "I believe it's my turn to apologize, Dr. Scully. I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

"Dana," she said softly with a tiny smile.

"Dana," he repeated. "Would you do an old man the honor of sitting with me for brunch?"

"Only if you stop calling yourself old," she responded. Despite the thirty-year difference in their ages, Jonathan exuded a youth and vigor often lacking in her own contemporaries. She tucked her hand into his arm and allowed him to lead her to the buffet, then back to one of the tables. Dana looked around with a smile.

"This is a lovely party, Jonathan. Sam told me that you were hosting it for her. Having a private room in the hotel rather than using the main dining room makes it so much nicer. It was very kind of you."

"I'm so grateful to Samantha and Fox for everything they've done for Alex. I felt it was the least I could do. After all, Samantha doesn't have a father to do it for her. I'm glad she allowed me to do this for her."

Dana leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a very sweet man, Jonathan Krycek."

"No, I'm not, but I'm pleased you think so." He took her hand in a courtly gesture and pressed a kiss to the back. Across the room, Alex happened to glance over, and he was left gaping at them. "Uh, Sam?" he addressed the woman at his side, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene on the other side of the room. When she mumbled a reply, he continued, "Do you have any idea why your partner is kissing my father?"

"What?!" Sam spun around so quickly she dropped the plate she was holding, but she completely ignored it. She looked over in time to see Dana brush a finger over Jonathan's cheek, and she sat down abruptly.

"Alex, Dana hasn't been involved with many men. She's been too focused on her career. She could easily be hurt," Sam said uneasily.

Alex looked at her, confusion clear in his eyes. "I think that goes both ways, Sam. I've never seen my dad like that with anyone before. I don't know if he's _ever_ dated anyone. I'm pretty sure my grandparents arranged his marriage to my mother. God, what if--"

" _I_ think you should both mind your own business," Fox suddenly interrupted, coming up behind them and wrapping an arm around Alex's waist. "They're both adults, and I doubt either of them would thank you for interfering. Besides, they could both use a friend."

Alex and Sam regarded him dubiously, but Fox was adamant, and they eventually turned their attention away. They would have been even more uneasy had they known that Jonathan and Dana had made a dinner date for the following evening.

Jonathan began splitting his time between Alex and Dana. Much as he wanted to get to know his son, Alex had his own life with Fox and didn't need his father's constant presence. And Jonathan had to admit that he was enjoying spending time with a pretty young woman, even if he couldn't imagine what she saw in an old man like him. He considered Dana to be a good friend now and refused to consider anything more.

He refused to consider anything, that was, until Dana lost patience and made the first move. Jonathan had been a complete gentleman the last few days, but Dana was sure that wasn't what she wanted. She was attracted to him, and she thought he was interested in her, aside from some ridiculous hang-up about their ages. Three days after the wedding brunch, she had Jonathan over to her home for dinner, and between tossing the salad and taking the roast lamb out of the oven, she walked over and kissed him.

Jonathan was startled, but he wasn't dead, and he knew what to do with a beautiful woman in his arms. He kissed her back. The oven timer went off, and Dana stepped back, grinning at him. "You _will_ stop treating me like I'm breakable now, won't you?"

Jonathan eyed the carving knife she picked up and laughed. "I wouldn't dream of arguing with a woman who's armed."

"A wise man." She nodded emphatically as she began serving dinner. Once they were at the table, she looked over at him hopefully. "Will you be my escort to the wedding?"

Jonathan looked surprised. "Are you sure you want to do that, Dana? It could be awkward for you."

"Jon, I enjoy spending time with you. I hope to spend a lot more time with you, and I'd like my friends to know about it. I'm not ashamed of our relationship." She hesitated. "Are you?"

"No! No," he repeated more calmly. "But you're a young, beautiful, intelligent woman, Dana. You don't want to be tied to someone like you."

"Damnit, Jon, would you stop that! You're an attractive man, and you are _not_ old. For heaven's sake, any woman would be grateful to snap you up. Maybe you should be wondering if I'm not after your money or something."

Jonathan laughed. "Any man who thought you could be bought would need his head examined. All right, Dr. Scully, you win. I believe that you've lost your mind and you actually enjoy being with me. So, would you be my date to your partner's wedding?" he asked teasingly.

"Absurd man," she chuckled. "Yes, I would like that very much."

Jon shook his head, laughing. "I can't wait to see the look on Alex's face when he sees us together."

Dana laughed as well. "This should certainly be a memorable wedding."

Samantha's wedding day dawned bright and sunny, and Alex was hard pressed to decide which of the Mulder siblings was more nervous. Samantha wasn't worried about getting married, but she was imagining all sorts of disasters during the ceremony and reception, including being rained out, despite there not being a cloud in the sky. Fox, on the other hand, was suddenly deciding that Jason wasn't good enough for his baby sister and that he couldn't let her ruin her life. Alex wondered if he could slip each of them a tranquilizer.

He sat back and watched the two of them babble nervously, wandering in and out of various bedrooms in the Prestwick home, where they'd spent the night with Jason's parents. The wedding was being held in the back yard, which Fox likened to a national park for size. Eventually their jitters got to him, and he grabbed them on their next pass, forcing them to sit down and take a few deep breaths.

"Fox, sit there and don't move until I come back," Alex ordered, taking Sam by the arm and forcibly dragging her back to her room. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw that Dana had arrived and was waiting to help Sam get dressed. Alex gratefully left her to Dana's tender mercies and headed back to his lover.

Alex managed to get Fox calmed down and reminded him that he _liked_ Jason, then forced him downstairs to have some breakfast. They were surprised to find Alex's father already there, sitting with the Prestwicks over a cup of coffee. "Dad, is something wrong?" Alex asked, wondering why his father had arrived so early.

"No, not at all. Dana wanted to get here to help Samantha get ready, so we came over early."

Alex just stared. Fox's attention was engaged, and he grinned at Jon. "Dana, huh?"

Jonathan smiled back and nodded.

"Good for you," Fox applauded.

Alex groaned. "How could you do this to me, Dad?" Jonathan began to look worried, but his expression cleared when Alex continued, "Fox is going to be _so_ damn smug now. He said you and Dana had something going, but I didn't believe him. Do you have any idea how he lords it over me when he's right about something and I'm wrong?"

Jonathan burst into laughter, then surprised himself by saying, "I'm sure you have ways to put him in his place, Alex."

Alex blinked in surprise, then smirked. He gave Fox a long, hot look. "Yeah, I do."

Fox laughed. "Don't forget that's a two-way street, babe."

Alex slanted a glance at him out the corner of heavy-lidded eyes, and Fox swallowed hard. Mr. and Mrs. Prestwick looked around uneasily, not knowing what to do or say. Seeing that, the two men toned down their interaction, though not without a look promising further discussion when they got home.

Moira Prestwick suddenly realized that Jonathan had been discussing Dana Scully as if they were a couple, and Fox's comments certainly seemed to bear that out. She knew he wouldn't flaunt an affair in her home, so there had to be some other explanation.

"Jonathan?" she asked cautiously. "Am I to understand that you and Dr. Scully are... an item?"

Jonathan looked surprised at the question. David and Moira were among his oldest friends, David having been his roommate at Harvard. He had expected them, at least, to support his choice. "Why, yes, Moira. Is there something wrong with that?"

She swallowed hard. "What about Emily?" she asked faintly.

Jonathan shrugged. "I decided to take everyone's advice finally. Emily and I are getting a divorce."

Moira moaned. She turned desperate eyes on her husband. "David, would you please get me a scotch? No, make that a double."

David blinked in surprise. "Moira?"

She turned horrified eyes back to Jonathan. "You didn't tell anyone about your divorce, Jonny."

He shrugged. "No, I didn't feel it was necessary. I thought I could at least leave Emily the dignity of handling that as she chose."

"I see." More faintly still. "You know, we're family now, Jonny. What with Samantha marrying Jason, and Alex and Fox being together, that makes you part of the family too." She took a deep breath. "So I sent an invitation to you and Emily to the wedding. And Emily accepted."

Total, resounding silence.

"Dave, I think I'll join Moira in that scotch," Jonathan finally announced.

"I'll take the bottle," Alex chimed in fervently.

Fox just groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Jonathan eyed him askance. "It'll be all right, Fox. I don't think she would cause a scene."

Fox groaned again and raised his head, favoring Jonathan with a jaundiced gaze. "She may not be the problem. You didn't see Sam the last time they met. Shit!"

Alex started to laugh uncontrollably as he remembered the look on Sam's face the last time she encountered Emily Krycek. "God," he gasped, "is it too late to sell tickets? We could make a killing. WWF has nothing on this."

That was too much for the others, and the tension broke in a wave of almost hysterical laughter. Finally, everyone calmed down, and silence reigned once more.

"So," Fox said finally, "do we tell Sam or hope she doesn't notice Emily when she shows up?"

Alex sighed. "I vote for keeping silent and praying for a miracle."

"Why do we need a miracle?" Jason suddenly appeared, joining the conversation.

Alex sighed deeply. "Because your mother invited my mother to the wedding. Just one big happy family."

Jason sat down abruptly. "Sam'll _kill_ her," he groaned, having heard Sam's opinion of Emily at length and what she wanted to do to the harridan for hurting her brothers. He knew that Sam had adopted Alex as another brother, and she was fiercely protective of those she loved. For that matter, Jason was none too happy with Emily Krycek's attitude toward Fox and Alex, two men that he'd come to consider very good friends.

Despite their misgivings there was nothing anyone could do, so they tried to put Emily's probable arrival out of their minds and enjoy some time together before they had to get ready for the ceremony. Dave and Moira were left shaking their heads at the younger men's questionable sense of humor, but even they had to admit that everyone was more relaxed by the time they left the breakfast table and headed back upstairs to get dressed.

Back in their own room, Alex and Fox stared at each other. "Do you think she'll really show up?" Fox asked.

Alex sighed heavily. "I'm sure of it. Appearances mean more than anything to my mother, so she'll want to be present at 'the wedding of the season.' God, hopefully she'll keep quiet and away from Sam."

Fox suddenly groaned and flopped back flat on the bed. In response to Alex's anxious question, he said, "She won't know about your dad and Dana. How's she likely to react to seeing them together?"

"Oh shit!" Alex shuddered.

"That's what I thought." He started to laugh. "I guess my sister couldn't have a simple romance and wedding any more than I could."

Alex had to laugh at that. "Well, you know, a good argument could be made for all Sam's problems being _our_ fault."

"God, don't tell _her_ that, or I'll never hear the end of it."

Alex snickered. "Come on, baby, on your feet. You have to get dressed and walk your sister down the aisle."

They did eventually manage to get dressed and out of their room on time, despite getting distracted by each other several times. Alex gave Fox a final quick kiss and hugged and kissed Sam as well before leaving them to go down and join Jason and his two brothers. He still could hardly believe that Jason had asked him to be one of his ushers; he really did have a family now.

Dana and Sam's other two college friends waited a little ways down the hall, giving Fox and Sam a moment alone.

"Are you happy, Sam?" Fox asked unnecessarily, meeting her shining eyes.

"So happy," she replied, hugging him tightly. "Not only am I marrying the man I love, but I can see that you're finally happy too. Alex is good for you, big brother."

Fox smiled softly, his love for Alex clear in his eyes. "I know he is. If you and Jason love each other even half as much as he and I do, you're going to have a wonderful life."

Sam grinned at him. "Ditto, Fox. We're incredibly lucky people to have found them."

Fox nodded, then chuckled. "Who'da thought it, Sam? The poor Mulder kids making good and getting involved with the likes of the Prestwicks and the Kryceks. I bet Mom and Dad never would have expected blue-blooded grandchildren."

She laughed. "Those blue-bloods need a little new blood every so often. And we're just the people to shake 'em up."

They heard the music start and saw the first of the bridesmaids start down the stairs.

"Ready, Sam?" Fox asked and took her arm as she nodded.

Fox led his sister down the aisle toward her soon-to-be-husband, and for an instant, he wished desperately that their parents could have been there to see their little girl getting married. _We did it, Mom, Dad. We made something of ourselves, and we found wonderful people to love us. I hope you'd understand about me and Alex... somehow, I think you would. And just look at Samantha, how beautiful she is._ He smiled at his sister, who only had eyes for Jason, waiting for her. Fox followed her gaze and saw Jason staring back, equally enraptured. The love between them was almost a tangible thing.

Mulder's gaze shifted slightly to Alex, and though they didn't realize it, everyone watching could see the love as evident between them as the bride and groom. No one could look at either couple without a smile coming to their faces. Even Emily Krycek, sitting quietly in a back row, couldn't deny the love she saw between her son and his lover, and for an instant she envied them.

Fox passed his sister's hand to Jason and went to sit in the front pew beside Jason's parents and Jonathan, Sam having refused to split the guests into the traditional his and hers. She had wanted her whole family close to her and together, and as usual, she'd gotten her way.

The ceremony proceeded with only a few minor stutters, and as the minister pronounced them husband and wife, Alex turned slightly so he could meet Fox's eyes. They stared at each other longingly, their hearts in their eyes. 'I love you,' Alex mouthed silently, and Fox smiled at him. Neither noticed Dana glance over her shoulder as well to meet Jonathan's eyes with a smile.

Dana wondered at herself, having such strong feelings for a man she'd only met a week previously, but she couldn't deny their existence. While she planned to take it slowly, she had a feeling Jonathan Krycek was the man for her, and he seemed to feel the same for her. She hugged her excitement to herself, enjoying the feeling of falling in love.

The minister stopped speaking, Jason kissed Sam, and everyone's attention returned to the glowing bride and groom. They led their attendants back down the aisle and over to where the reception had been set up, and the celebration began.

Those who had been at breakfast that morning glanced around furtively, trying to spot Emily without letting Samantha know what they were doing. They still hoped that a clash could be averted. One by one they spotted Emily Krycek, who was sitting with some acquaintances, sipping a mimosa. She seemed content simply to be there, establishing her continued place in their social circle, so perhaps all would be well.

Unfortunately for everyone's hopes for peace, the wedding photographs were being taken nearby, and the wedding party was clearly visible to the guests. Emily glanced over idly as the photographs were being taken. There were several shots of the entire wedding party, the bride and bridesmaids, the groom and ushers, Sam and Jason and his parents, Sam and Jason and Fox and Alex, and a variety of others that included some with Jonathan. Then Samantha asked for photographs of each couple, including ones of each of the attendants and his or her date. When the maid of honor, a lovely young redhead, held out a hand to Jonathan and he wrapped his arms around her as they smiled for the camera, Emily dropped her glass, never even noticing it shatter and the drink spray across the table.

The women sitting with her leaped to their feet, exclaiming in dismay, "Emily! What on earth..." but Emily didn't even hear them. All her attention was focused on the man she'd been married to for thirty years, seeing the way he held that young woman and the way he smiled at her. The other women followed her eyes, and gasps and murmurs sprang up about Jonathan Krycek cheating on his wife. That stopped when one woman, whose husband often dealt with Jonathan, spoke up, telling the others that Jonathan had moved out of the house and had filed for divorce. Emily moved toward Jonathan and the rest of the wedding party, not noticing the buzz of gossip that sprang up behind her.

The wedding party's attention had been attracted by the sound of the glass smashing and the resulting cries, and Samantha's jaw dropped when she saw Emily Krycek at her wedding reception. As Emily approached, Samantha's mouth snapped shut, and the light of battle kindled in her eyes. Jason and Fox both grabbed hold of her, and Alex placed himself in his mother's path, while Jonathan pushed Dana behind him protectively.

"Mother, please," Alex entreated, "you don't want to make a scene. Not here." He hoped to appeal to her devotion to maintaining appearances, but Emily was totally outraged. She pushed past him without pausing.

Emily came to a halt in front of Jonathan, who regarded her warily. "So _this_ is why you decided to end our marriage, Jonathan? A child half your age?"

Jonathan shook his head wearily. "You may believe what you choose, Emily. You always do. But I didn't even meet Dana until after I had filed for divorce. I left you because that was the only way I could stand to look at myself in the mirror."

Emily slapped him.

Dana gasped angrily but remained silent, recognizing that this was something that Emily and Jonathan had to deal with themselves.

Samantha snarled and tore free of her brother and her husband, stalking toward the interloper. She came up behind Emily and seized hold of her arm to spin her around. When Emily was facing her, she drew back her right arm, clenched her fist, and punched the other woman in the jaw. Delicate though she might look in her lacy white wedding gown, Samantha had the strength developed by hefting patients onto examining tables, and she knocked Emily reeling. Unfortunately for the older woman, they'd been standing near the ornamental fishpond to use it as a background in some of the pictures, and she fell into it with a huge splash.

The photographer, recognizing a memorable shot when he saw one, snapped several pictures of Emily Krycek sitting in the pond, kelp hanging from her bedraggled hat, with Samantha, ethereal looking in her wedding gown, standing over her like a warrior goddess. Everyone else simply stood in frozen shock, gaping at the spectacle.

Sam shook her hand, wincing slightly at the pain from her knuckles, and glared down at Emily. "Get out and stay away from my family, or I'll make certain you regret it." She gazed down contemptuously for another moment, then turned on her heel, completely dismissing the other woman's presence. She smiled sweetly at the photographer. "I believe we had a few more shots to take before we're done?"

The photographer looked from her to the woman in the pond, even now struggling to her feet without assistance, and shrugged. "Yes. If you'll all come over to the arbor..." He led them away. Alex hesitated momentarily, glancing at his mother, then followed the others without a word. She'd created the situation, and she would just have to deal with it. Perhaps he might have reacted differently if she had opened up to him even the slightest bit, but even now Emily only glared at him.

Emily attempted to ignore the stares and whispers as she made her way to the exit, but she was humiliated. She swore to herself that she would never have anything to do with any of them again, including her ungrateful son, and that she would make sure that society turned against them. She didn't realize yet that her bitter personality had alienated most people years before and they had only put up with her for Jonathan's sake, but she would soon find out.

Jonathan kept apologizing to Dana for putting her in that uncomfortable position until she threatened to push _him_ into the fishpond if he didn't stop. He had to laugh at that, and that broke the tension for everyone.

The rest of the day passed happily, and finally it was time for Samantha and Jason to leave. The unmarried women gathered around for her to throw the bouquet, and Dana blushed when she caught it. Samantha grinned and hugged her, whispering something in her ear that made her blush more deeply, and then she and Jason were gone. The party continued for several more hours, no one wanting to go home, but eventually only the family was left.

Jonathan apologized to everyone a final time for the scene earlier that day and left with Dana to take her home. Alex and Fox offered their help in cleaning up, but Moira assured them that she had people coming in the following morning to take care of it, so they too headed home, leaving the Prestwicks to get to bed.

Back at home finally, Alex collapsed onto the sofa with moan. He gave Fox a piteous look that made the other man get him a drink before dropping down beside him. Mulder lay his head against the back and closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Alex kicked off his shoes and stretched out, placing his feet in Mulder's lap.

"Well," he said wryly, "that was certainly memorable." He shook his head, starting to chuckle. "Your sister packs quite a wallop."

Fox's shoulders shook as he remembered that moment. "She looked so feminine and ladylike... right up till she decked your mother with a damned fine roundhouse." He burst into laughter. "I'm so-sorry," he gasped out, "but I've never seen anything as funny as the expression on your mother's face when she sat up in the fishpond, dripping kelp."

Alex snickered. "I think that's the first time in my life that my mother has been a source of entertainment." He sobered after a moment. "I am sorry, though, that she made a scene at your sister's wedding. And poor Dana! She must think we're all a bunch of lunatics."

Fox grinned at him. "Aren't we?"

Alex had to laugh. "I suppose we are. Good thing we found each other, isn't it?"

"Definitely." Mulder got to his feet, pulling Alex up with him. "Come on, this has been a hell of a long day, and I want to get to bed."

"Oh, I guess you must be tired." Alex sounded faintly disappointed, and Mulder smirked at him.

"Who said anything about sleep? I want you, baby. I've wanted you all day, and now I can finally do something about it."

Alex was left staring in surprise for an instant before he grinned. "Well, why didn't you say so? Race you!" And he bolted for the bedroom, Fox laughing and following on his heels. As they entered the room, Mulder tackled him, knocking them onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

When they sorted themselves out, Fox was sprawled comfortably on top of Alex, who wasn't trying very hard to get away. Mulder looked at him curiously. "This afternoon," he started, then hesitated, searching for the right words. "During the ceremony, when you looked at me... Do you regret giving up the opportunity to get married by being with me? Is that something you'd want?"

Alex slid a finger under Fox's chin to tilt his head up to face him. "Fox, I love you. I'm committed to you, and a few words and a piece of paper couldn't make that any more true. I have everything I need right here, and I didn't give up anything."

Mulder searched his eyes for long moments, then started to smile when he saw that Alex meant it. "Well then, why don't you show me, babe?"

"Don't mind if I do." Alex pulled his head down to claim his mouth in a deep kiss while his hands moved caressingly over Fox's back. He unfastened the cummerbund and pulled the shirt free so he could slide his hands beneath to touch bare skin. Fox purred his pleasure into his mouth at the touch, and Alex pulled him closer.

"I want you," Fox moaned. He pulled away and stood up, watching Alex watch him as he slowly undressed, dropping his clothes where he stood until he was naked. He smiled down at his lover, stroking himself as Alex's hot gaze flicked over him, following his hands as they pinched his nipples then moved down over his belly to his already straining cock. He closed his hand around the swollen length and pumped his fist up and down, moaning softly.

Alex's hands went to his waistband, and Fox stopped. "No!" he barked, and Alex froze in surprise, his eyes darting to Fox's.

Fox ran heated hazel eyes over the length of his lover's body, still fully dressed in formal wear except for his jacket and shoes and socks. "No," he said more softly. "I want you like that, fully dressed, and me naked. It feels... wonderfully kinky." He grinned.

Alex laughed softly. "Kinky, huh? I think I can handle that. But these pants are getting _very_ uncomfortable, baby."

"Oh, we can't have that," Fox said. "Let me see what I can do to help you with that problem."

He knelt on the bed, and slowly crawled forward on all fours, straddling his squirming lover. He reached down and unfastened the pants, drawing out the rigid flesh, stroking it teasingly while Alex moaned beneath him. Fox suddenly swooped down and took Alex's cock in his mouth, licking and sucking, driving Alex to the brink again and again only to stop at the last possible instant.

Alex's fists clenched in the crisp cotton sheets as he writhed desperately, pleading with Fox to let him come. Fox chuckled wickedly, making Alex wail with the sensation, then pulled back again. This time Alex grabbed for him, but Fox caught his hands in his own, drawing them to his mouth to nibble on his fingers. He drew two fingers into his mouth and licked and sucked them, imitating what he had just been doing to Alex's cock.

Still staring into Alex's eyes, Fox sat up somewhat and shifted back until the saliva-slickened erection pressed against his ass. Alex's eyes widened as he realized what Fox planned, and he gasped as Fox pushed himself down, sheathing his cock in his ass. Mulder slowly sank down, working inch after inch inside himself, never releasing Alex's gaze. He sat on Alex's thighs, the heavy black silk of Alex's trousers almost rough against his naked skin, and he ran his hands over the Egyptian cotton shirt, plucking at hard nipples through the fabric. Alex hissed at the sensation, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Fox rode him slowly, inching up and down despite the quivering in his thighs, and Alex raised his knees to give him something to lean against. Fox sank down all the way again and paused with Alex filling him to rake his eyes over the clothed form beneath him. He saw formal attire, heavy-lidded eyes, swollen lips, and his own naked body draped over the other man. He chuckled raspily.

"You look debauched, baby."

Alex reached out and stroked Fox's cock, making Mulder moan loudly. "You don't exactly look like a Vestal virgin yourself, Fox."

"Thank God." Fox started to move again, his hand covering Alex's on his cock and urging it to move faster, in time with his ever increasing pace. Suddenly he stiffened, his head falling back and a strangled cry ripping lose from deep inside him, and spurted over their joined hands and Alex's clothes. Alex arched under him, pushing deeper, and cried his name as he came with Mulder's ass convulsing around him.

Fox stretched out on top of Alex, snuggling close then grumbling when he scratched his cheek on one of the studs on his shirt. Alex chuckled wearily, pressing a kiss to the injured spot, then rolled Mulder off him so he could remove his clothes. Finally naked, he crawled under the covers and held out an arm to Mulder, who resumed his position on top of the younger man. Sated and sleepy, they finally fell asleep.


End file.
